Today I decided to play housewife. That is slightly unlike me. I mean nothing against housewives. I don't want the shows and look up to the real ones who can do all the house stuff and have a job. But I never really enjoyed that around the house kind of stuff. But I volunteered to cook today, and I cleaned quite a lot and it was not so bad. I guess some stuff is still stuck in my head and I might start giving it a try. I mean in like 3 years I can legally get married , so maybe I should get prepared or something? But I wouldn't want someone to marry me just because I can mop. One of the most disgusting weddings I ever went to were between this guy who basically hated the lady (I don't blame him,she was psycho), but she cooked him pilau one day and he was sold. He decided that if all he ever gets is pilau from her then he's ok. No it wasen't off a comedy show it was real. They are surprisingly still married, if that says anything.

Today I was doing one of my favorite pass - times and got thinking. You know we all love people that have the same hair as Kim Kardasian, or look exactly like Blanket Jackson. What we never think about is what a burden that would be. Sure everyone would love you, but you probably couldn't help but wonder if they love how YOU look or how the celebrity look. And no matter how hard you would try to express yourself and be your own person you would always be compared to Kim, or Blanket. If you were good at something, people wouldn't be paying attention to that skill they would be paying attention to how much you look like another person. Its almost a disadvantage. If would really make a person have some insecurity issues. You'd probably always wonder if you met your wife because you looked like leo dicaprio, or if your best friend only talked to you in the first place because you could do a dance similar to M.J. 's. So next time you see someone do something don't go, "Wow! That was great just like M.J.". You should be like "that was amazing! You were great". :)

I'm hoping you guys are enjoying the 2009 stuff. I'm trying hard to document not only this year, but the decade as a whole. Cross my fingers for me to finish before 2010! :)

Song of 12/30/09: This Love, Maroon 5

quote of the day:

Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.

2009 a year for music

I must say the girls won this year in music. Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, and Beyonce made the world dance, and sing along. Their albums Fearless, The fame, and I am sasha Fierce topped the charts and were downloaded on ipods all over the world. Some of the songs I really liked were...

1. Love Story - Taylor Swift

2. You belong with me - Taylor Swift

3. Forever and always - Taylor Swift

4. My life would suck without you - Kelly Clarkson

5. 1,2,3,4 - Plain White tees

6. Down - Jay Sean

7. Do you remember - Jay Sean

8. Single Ladies - Beyonce

9. If I Were A boy - Beyonce

10. Sweet Dreams - Beyonce

11. Empire State of mind - Alicia Keys and Jay Z

12. Halo - Beyonce

13. You Found me - The Fray

14. Papazrazzi - Lady Gaga

15. Just Dance - Lady Gaga

16. Poker Face - Lady Gaga

17. Waking up in Vegas - Katy Perry

18. I gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas

19. Boom Boom Pow - Black eyed Peas

20. Use Somebody - King of Leon

21. Party in the USA - Miley Cyrus

22. Mad - Neyo

23. Soulmate - Natasha Bedingfield

24. Right Round - Flo Rida

25. Right now - Akon

26. So What - Pink

27. Obsessed - Mariah Carey

28. Russian Roullete - Rihanna

29. Fireflies - Owl city

30. Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

31. Dont Trust me - 30H!3

32. Good girls go bad

33. Fire burning on the dance floor - Sean kingston

34. Love Drunk- Boys like girls

35. Replay - Iyaz

36. Watcha Say - Jason

37. Spotlight - Usher ft. Gucci mane

I cant wait to look over these songs 50 years from now, or here them on a 2000s greatest hits special. :)

2009 will soon be gone

The year 2009 is soon ending. It has been 365 days gone. Let me just say, Its been a good year! I went to my first formal dances. I left the country on my own for the very first time. I visited sites I never imagined being able to see. The eiffel tower, Sagrada Familia, the Medeteranian sea. I saw how other people lived and through it saw how much I loved my life the way it is. I graduated from jr. high and left that behind me never to expirenacne it again. I began high school. Worked a little harder. I improved on piano, cello, and singing. I met a lot of new people that I enjoy talking to. I also kept the old people and made lots of new memories. I helped people get through their toughest times. And I had some tough times of my own. I got a better veiw of what I want for myself in my life. Wheather it be my future jobs (pharmacy, dentistry), or where the direction I want my life to go. I found some new values that I hope to keep with me. I followed the saying "Even when theres nothing left, hold on to hope". And there were timesd when it felt like all was lost. But that hope got me threw.

2009 has not only been about me though. Throught the world people discovered themselves and went threw many hardships. The first big thing that comes to my mind is this year we lost the greatest entertaiment that ever lived. Michael Joseph Jackson. No one is ever going to forget when his brothers brought him in in that pure gold casket. When his family cried for all the world to see. When Jermaine sang smile, Human nature was played by John Mayor, and how all the greats. The whole world came together to discuss what an effect a complete stranger made in their lives. It was a beautiful thing, and the modern death similar to that of Diana. The whole world will remember.

2009 was also big because we got our first African American president. That is something that no one would even dream of in the years of the past. I got to see him with my own two eyes this year. I was surrounded be about 600, 000 people I believe the number was. We all stood and for about 2 hours the whole place was silent. All 600,000 people were dead silent! We all stood and listened to this man talk. He gave us hope. Hope of new beginings. Hope of change. He inspired us. He told us of the Amercican dream. He let that little girl inside of me believe once again that a girl that started out in the poor areas of maryland. Went to public school, and has middle class parents can make it one day. Obama was a miricle sent from god and I'm happy to have witnessed this greatest. At school the whole school stoped and watched as Aretha Franklin sang. As he put his hand over the bible and his wife and little girls watched thier love be names leader of the free world!! Imagine it. We witnessed it!

On a more sad note, we remember that girl being imprisoned in north korea and our former president Bill Clinton bringing her back alive. We remember that man who shot a big amount of amercican soldiars and people loosing their loved ones. We remember not seeing Chris Brown and Rihanna at the grammys and watching the news of him attacking Americas golden girl. We watched the trials and watched his carreer slowly fall down the cracks. But we also saw him become a better man and make that song I can transform ya. That was great! We lost Ted Kennady who did everything he could to fight for this country. I cried when I saw him say he would fight through his brain cancer so he could see President Barack Obama be inagurated in office. He wanted to be there front and center. I also watched him pass the torch from the Kennedys to the Obamas. That brought shivers down my spine. We also lost Brittney Murphy, Farah Fawcett.

The miricle at the hudson shocked us all as the pilot managed to land on the water and save all those people. The world was given hope yet again when that girl was found after being lost from her family for many years (Jaycee Gudered). We watched that balloon boy "fly away" and admit that it was all for the television and press. David Letterman, John Edwards and Tiger Woods let down the worth of Men everywhere by cheating on their loving wives. Kanye West put the worth of men down even lower when he stole the spotlight from Kanye West. And Sarah Palin made all us women feel a little more stupid inside.

This was a brilliant year for music as well.....to be continued on the next blog

catching up part dos

Ok so I know this is probably against the law of winter break or something. But I'm gonna make like Obama and change this. Im going to talk about school during break. AHH. I know this is awful but sometimes rules are meant to be bent ;) . Health classes have been an issue thats "debatable" in the united states for years now. It is yet another subject where where democrates and republicans have diffrent thoughts. Republicans will tell you that health classes are bad. And if you talk about things then students are going to feel more comfortable with them and do them. Democrates think its important to teach kids what their getting into so that if they decide to make the wrong choice they know how to do it carefully and know the goods and bads to all their choices. I decided randomly today that I agree with the democrates. Health classes are important. Although my health teacher of two years was also the football coach and was just a little bit of a bum. I did learn stuff from him and it wasent as awkwards as it would have been to have to hear it from relatives and such. Maybe im just weird but sometimes its easier to believe a complete stranger then people you've known for a lifetime.

Big news in the celebrity world. Taylor swift and Taylor laughtner have broken up. I know is really sad!! I really wanted them to work. One of my favorite singers and my favorite werewolf getting together would be epic. I would really enjoy if that had worked out. Peoples magazine says that the whole thing was over blown. They did date for a little while. And yes they kissed and hugged and we saw them oh so very romantic together but it was only 3 dates. After all of that htey decided that they just needed to be friends. And they still are. Not to meantion that Taylor lives in nashville and taylor L. lives in los angeles. They lived basically a contient apart. It just didnt work out for now.

I also saw the wedding photos of Kevin Jonas and his "jersey girl". I dont know why but I couldent help but think they looked like little kids playing dress up. Kevin Jonas is 22 and when you say it like that it sounds like their not that young. They just looked little to me. I think its because they are younger then the couples im used to reading about. Kendra and Hank. Khloe and Lamar. Their both couples that are heading towards 30. Kevin is in his early twentys. i dont think i'd mind marrying then. With the education before boys thing I should be done with collage at around 23 or 24 years old. thats it I become a pharmasist. If I pass it off for a 4 year college degree like law or something then I'll be 20 or 21. hmm. Those are things you never know though. When you meet "the one". But its kind of weird. In 8ish years I could possibly a married woman. My years of childhoodness are disapearing behind me. I think I need to enjoy it more.

song of the day:
My endless love- diana ross and lional richie

lets catch up

This week was wonderful. Yesturday I went downtown with Samira and had a really good time. I haden't been downtown in a very long time. It reminded me of how much I love lawrence. I do love downtown and the people there. And the stores and restraunts. I dont know if I could leave for collage. I think i love it too much. Dont get my wrong I do love diffrent places and the diffrent expirences (On my list are: Greece, Italy, India, Dubai, japan), but I like lawrence. I like that its safe and I dont have to worry about getting my bag stolen or someone bringing a gun. But anyways Samira and I shopped all day and had a blast. It was a really fun week. Its sad that she lives so far away.

Guess what I came home with in my purse today? That cd. I almost had like a weird breakdown in the car but as always I have the capability of holding myself together. I was really really really dissapointed in myself. But if you think a little deeper about it. He must already know anyways. And maybe I shouldnt be so forward. (these are all the things im telling myself to act like chicking out is ok). At the end of the day I was a big baby and didnt. I tried starting a conversation but then my brother interupted with his stupid (I gave my sister 26 dollers for an ipod touch story). isent that just great? Oh well. Maybe I should listen to samira. Education before boys. Education before boys. Maybe I can have some great degree and prove that i have potential then "make a move". Who knows........

The most intresting thing happened today! So my mother bought two barbies for these girls I know Iman and Nargis. They are sweet hearts (2 and 4), and when I was their age there was nothing better then a barbie with her maching purse and shoes. But anyways we opened them up and they each started playing with them and then Iman goes," I want to be like the barbie, I need her dress, shoes, make up, shes so pretty". This is probably really common for little girls but I was a little suprised. I had this crazy foods teacher who wouldent let her kids play with barbies or watch tv. Because they send the bad message out to kids. Or theres the feminist that wont let their kids play with barbies because of the way their all skinny and stuff. For a split second I understood all that. Iman no longer wants to be Iman. She wants to be like barbie now. At a young age your a blank page and you get written on. the way society works today we dont let children find themselves we let them become like what has already been found. No one relaly lets their kids decide for themselves what they want or need. Now this isent bagging on parents. I understand that if they dont get to their kids someone else will and may be teaching them the wrong message. It really makes me wonder what everyone would be like without the influence of the outside world or anyone but themselves. like adam without eve. hmmm.

Song of the day: Reply (love it!)

quote of the day:
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

So yesturday something inside of me woke up or changed. I found out that prince read my super personal paper thing about him. I talked all about how I feel. Im pretty suprised I was able to let out feelings like that. I'm also pretty glad that he read it. (not that i'd admit that to samira anytime soon). This means that I wanted him to know all along. But along with that I wanted him to love me. And thats not going to happen unless I "make a move". So folks I'm going to make a move. The plan so far is this. Im going to send him a cd of love songs and songs that are just me.and inside there will be a list of all the songs and why I put the cd. I'll also try not to blab so much about how great he is and meantion that a reply would be fantastic. and before this im going to try to give him a heads up some how. Sounds perfect huh? WRONG

Making a move means getting a response. what if he dosent want me back. Even i'll admit that im not the perfect girl. BUT he is the perfect guy and perfection may only want perfection. what if it turns out that he dosent like me? What happens then..... well hopefully it wont go in that direction. On a posative note what if he does love me back. ahhh. he loves me back. isent that great? What if he asks me out. what if we date. ooh finally the perfect boyfriend. it would have to be long distance and i'd most likley have to tell my parents who i hope would understand. I'm kind of worried Samira would be upset with me if it turned out well. I think she'd be mad that im damning her brother to hell but she should understand I would never hurt her little angel. :)

Today is Christmas. I dont feel like i've felt in christmases past. I feel my childhoodness slipping away. I used to be super excited about opening my parents and all this stuff. But it may have just been because I had friends over so I was less into it and less religious. But I do love this day and all it represents. its my saviors birthday. :) This christmas I got: A north face jacket and clothes, An ipod touch from my mom, dad, and brother, and a really cool guitar from my uncle japhet. Its been a good christmas. I recieved lots of nice material things. I've also recieved lots of love from my family. The people who matter the most. I am truley greatful for them. really I am. (I know what your thinking, even ben samira :) ). I wonder what next christmas will be like. Every move I make effects the future and where I will be by then. I know i'll still love christmas more than all other holidays. Im also pretty sure ill feel the same way about my family and friends. And who knows maybe ill have a cute boyfriend who I love by then.....

Its been awhile so your probably wondering what i've been up too. So Samira and her little brother Aflah came. Its been fun. Me and samira chit-chatted for a long time in order to catch up on the like 5 months we didnt get to talk about boys and some other smaller subjects. Samiras been keeping me in check on the whole "right and wrong stuff". Maybe I should follow her ways. hmmm idk. We watched half of my sisters keeper. It reminds me that the days of earth are limited. and if you dont go through and do everything you want and need to do while your healthy and alive then you'll never get too. I do understand that theres heaven and nothing will ever beat it. I truley do believe it. But I still feel like thats no reason not to enjoy the life i'm living now. And I want ture love. Its important to me. I want someone to take care of me and love me unconditionally. Not necesserily now. But sometime before its too late. I will also keep the same new years resolution. to be brave. In order to reach some of my other goals. to speak my mind, and not to be scared of any situation or anything. well thats all for today readers.

MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY MERRY
*****************************CHRISTMAS*******************************************

Song of the day: Joy to the world

Quote of the day: OMG! This is real. your going to make a move. It will be like a slap across the face to all of us. WAIT! Are you going to get married ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! - Samira Ali

Does sucsess = money or is it the other way around?

Its been awhile since I thought of a good topic to blog about but it came to be around 9 o'clock last night. That was when the Freestate girls basketball team defeated the lawrence high girls varsity team. It was a close game but no doubt the freestate girls were better and im not just being biast. One girl on our team is 6'5". thank god your not that tall right? I mean shes got game and talent but shes too tall. And that is a problem if you remember my tallness being similar to a disability blog. But anyways the freestate team is better. And the way it kind of works around hear is that Freestate is where the better off kids and Lawrene high is where all the poor kids from the shealter and like 10% of lawrences elite go. What happens is the southwest jr. high kids get split up because a majority of them are better off into Lawrence High and Freestate. Then the central kids are split up also and then most of the east side kids go to LHS and the west siders/north siders go to freestate. And it seems to me that Freestate wins at everything.

We made it to the regional football thing and got second place. We beat every team in the area with the exception of the team who won regionals. Our chamber choir gets to go compete at disneyworld every year no exceptions and wins at all the areas. Our bands and orchestras are also really good but I would say that LHS is equal when it comes to band stuff. Now we're all kids. A majority of the people grew up in Lawrence. And the only thing diffrent is the incomes that people make. But Freestate high school is better at everything? Does that mean that the more money you have the more likley you are to be sucsessful. Lets take a look at the teenage celebritys. The first thing that comes to mind is miley cyrus and the jonas brothers. Mileys dad was a filthy rich country singer and she stayed number one with her hit party in the USA for motnsh. The jonas brothers had musical background with their father who knew how to play the guitar and all that stuff. That one girl that acts on nickalodean is Julia Roberts neice. See whats in common with these storys? Rich parents. I'm starting to realize that when a person dosent have the advantage of money it dosent come as easy.

Now im not saying that poor people just dont come with talent. I mean im sure if the homeless people in the downtown areas had oppurtunitys to do stuff they could be nba stars and such too. The real reason that the freestate teams are better isent that they just look at the cash in their storages and play better. Its that their parents could afford to get them personal trainers and voice lessons. They could go to all the summer camps and stuff that helps you improve your skills at whatever talent that you do have. But do not give up hope if you didnt go to the camps and such. There is a chance that you could pull a beyonce and be discovered by someone who does have money to develop your skills. So words for the wise. Great people with smiles and be polite. Wear really cute clothes that show that you could have potential. And wait to be discovered. But a word for those who are wiser. Study so that you dont end up being that hobo because a job isent being a celebirty or sports player but it will get you somewhere.

Song of the day:
Silver bells (LOVE that song)

Quote of the day:
#52 you suck, you give fat people a bad name!! -Brand willis at the basketball game last night. HE won a cupcake eating contest if that tells you anything.

Good morning! Last night I had a lot of dreams and im going to share them with you. The first one was a nightmare. I was at school and things were going ok then there was a school shooting. And no one really knew what was going on but I got taken into a room by my gi joe english teacher. And she nailed this tire thing to my back and it somehow worked like handcuffs and I was supposed to go out into the bus with the other prisoners of war. But I was smart and jumped in a car with my friend meredith and her family. The plan was for them to drop me off at home and make my parents send me to my family in seattle as far away from this whole mess as possible. I dont know what went wrong but I some how ended up back in the school and the last scene I saw from this was my friend with a big army gun being in charge of the whole thing! weird huh? It was terrifying.

Then after I had recovered from that I tried to get back to sleep and the dream continued. Everything was done and I heard my parents downstairs trying to get my attention and my mom was trying to defend me where as my dad was saying we cant let her stay like this. And as I was walking down the stairs I couldent talk or communicate. And I guess I was refusing to eat or do anything because that nail and me back made me messed up. It was not good. It was scary.

Then I went back to sleep again. And this dream touched me the most. I was in tears throughtout most of it. I was on a field trip with my jr. high friends and basically everyone from my elementry school. Olive was walking in front of me really fast and then keenen (the sweetest boy who was in 6th grade with me and died from cancer) was trying to catch up with her. But she was so busy running after all this other stuff she couldent hear him. And the world was just so loud I couldent hear what keenen was trying to say. And he kept trying to keep up with the people he left behind but he couldent. and I felt soo bad. And I yelled QUIEEEEEET! really loud trying to get the world to be quiet so I could hear him and keep him there. And so I went into this room and there was two pages on a computer. the words were all upside down and keenen in his big poofy black jacket was watching me try to read it. I read aloud in silence "just because you cant see the sky in the dark, dosent mean its not there". and he looked over me with these longing eyes. and on the other side upside down I made out the words happy birthday olivia. and he didnt say a word but I just felt like he wanted me to tell her and he was trying to say that hes still here. It was the most message like dream i have ever had. I will tell olivia about it and give her her birthday greeting and this blog goes out to keenen. R.I.P buddy, everyone may move on but you will not be forgotten.

song of the day:
I'll be missing you p.diddy

quote of the day:
Just because you cant see the sky at night dosent mean its not there.

Birthday news

Yesturday at 9:30 p.m. I turned 15 years old. I have been alive for 15 year. 2 and a half decades. It dosent feel that long but I took some time to really think about what that means and what I want to come out of this year. I want to be happy, I want to do better in school, I want to be more in touch with my friends, I want to be closer to my family, and I want to find the right guy. I dont really know who it is but I do know that NONE of the ones I thought were right commented on my wall or told me happy birthday on facebook. Thats one thing that bothers me. How can strangers be kind enough to tell you happy birthday, and people you know and thought you might like not even say anything. Prince didnt tell me happy birthday. hes been dethroned. not forever but he is definatly on probation. some other guys did comment on my wall though. Half of them were complete strangers who just cared. maybe im around all the wrong guys...

On the posative note. I had a great time last night at dinner with my friends. We went to Rudy's pizza and have some cheese, beef, and peporoni pizza. It was delicious. The absolute perfect pizzas. I ordered the worlds most amazing cake. It has my favorite baby picture of me. If you know me at all you've probably seen it. I have braids and barrets in my hair. Im sitting on a ledge looking down and behind me is the sanfransisco bridge, with water, and the bluest sky i've ever seen. I cant remember that moment but I'd like to think I was perfectly happy at that moment in my life. No problems at all. Anyways I put in candles and lit them and my friends + about 30 strangers sang happy birthday to me. I blew out candles and made a wish. the cake was as good as it looked.

I also got some presents. My mom,dad, and brother gave me a bath and body works lotion kit, the brand new alicia keys cd, a michael jackson dangerous short film dvd, and the JLO perfume. My godmother sent me a 25 dollor gift card to itunes. Elaine Frank gave me the cutest wallet and a gold purse. Sarah and Taz all got me borders gift cards. Taz gave me Gossip girl the prequal as well. Olivia M. also got me a book. Take a chance: A gossip girl the carlyles novel. Milly got me an american eagle gift card. Akira got me earrings made by her mama`. Lisa got me braclets, a lotion/chapstic kit, and the cutest headband. And I also got some more things from other people I cant think of but im really thankful for them all. It was a great birthday and I really enjoyed it. Too bad its over.

The fun continues on tommorow though. Im going to Olive's big birthday party and a christmas party at evelyns on monday. It should be a great time. I also hope to go shopping at KC mall with my mom. Samira are you going to come over? we must plan.

p.s. i just remembered another present. my dads friend gave me 20 bucks :)

Ok so dont think i've forgotten about my dear blog. I now speand all my time studying for finals, and trying to learn everyhting I didnt learn all semester in 2 days. Its awful (i think this is my new favorite word). Tommorows my birthday and i'm pretty excited about it. Im going to go out to dinner with some friends and my mom ordered a cake for me. Claps for a pretty cake. I have to get back to studying but on friday around noon ill update you on all the crazines that my life has been. bye for now!

One of the best weekends of my life; am i loving life ? YES!

I had a super fantastic amazing great weekend!!! It was just too fun and everything went perfectly!!! On friday after school I tried to take my drivers test again and it didnt go well. Its really embarassing and I took it as a sign the weekend would be awful. Good thing I was wrong!! Ok so after the test I rushed home and used my awesome card maker program to make a sixteenth birthday card for sarah chavez!! Shes a great friend. Really quiet but always nice. We all met at papacinos for some local pizza. Its really cool they make gigantic slices the size of your face. (Samira we have to go there next time your in town). Then we had some downtime so we went to urban outifitters and looked at their amazingly cute clothes. then at 7:30 the limo came!! It was so exciting. It was my second time in a limo. The driver would take us anywhere we want and the driver opened and closed the doors for us. There were leather seats and juice in a fancy wine like bottle. Elegent looking cups and the lights inside would change colors. There were two televisions inside. We took lots of people and went to taco bell for a bathroom break :). We drove by our school and took pictures and just enjoyed the ride the rest of the way. Afterwards we went to her house to open presents and have cake. It was a really great party.

On saturday morning I woke up with a smile on my face from the night before. I had my breakfast and I began beutifying. I took the crappy nail polish off my nails and replaced it with the pretty pink metalic one I had bought from walmart. I also gave myself a facial using my mothers mary kay products. Afterwards I had some downtime so I was just doing random things to keep myself busy. I showered at at 1 I had a hair appointment with my name on it. I got my hair curled and It looked great if I saw so myself. I didnt finish till around 4 though so when I got back olivia and akira were already at my house. So then I straightened olivia's hair and then we all did out makeup and such. Taz also came. Then we got dressed and took some pictures around the house, to comemorate the fabulous day.

After we were already we met at paisanos at 6:30. We had to wait in line for about 30 mintues. It was awful. That was with reservations by the way. We had a terrible waiter who was making rude comments, and was un clean with out food. (apperently someone say him sneeze on the alfrado, thank god I didnt get that). And then Elaine called her father to complain about how awful the waiter was and her father came in with an angrey look on his face and managed to get us ALL our tip money back. But by then we were already 40 minutes late to formal. It was definaly worth the wait. When we got there it looked like the party was starting off and people were starting to dance and our whole group got out there and had the time of our lives. We danced during ALL the songs. I only sat down during the slow songs becaue I sadley didnt have a date. But I didnt even really mind that. I danced like i've never danced before and had a good time with some of the best friends I could ever ask for! I'll never forget formal :)

Song of the day:
Emprie state of mind - Jay Z and Alicia keys (<3)

Quote of the day:"You try to pretend like you're paying attention to your family, but in the meantime, you're like "Grandma, can you pass the gravy? I'M OPEN!" - Ray romano speaking about thanksgiving

Ok so ive officially accidently deleted this twice now, so its time for try number 3. Will it be a sucsess, Si mamacitas . si! So everyone who is eveyrone is talking about one this. Is it the economic failure? no. Is it the fact that 30,000 more troops are being sent to iraq? no. is it that these are some of the last days of oprah? no. Its tiger woods. He ran into a tree AND the world has found out that he is a cheater. Not one mistress, not two, but three! Why are we talking about this so much? I understand its terrible that hes cheating on his model wife and basically cheating on his 2 baby boys too. But hes not the first person to do it. You want to know why their talking about it so much? Its because theres no new news coming out. The celebritys have all escapped and left this rough winter to us and gone to their private islands. do you want to know how I know? Well walk down the magazine isle at walmart. What do you see? Lots of covers that look like this: Oprahs dieing in 10 days, Celulite, anorexia, and something is going on with brad and angelina (marrige, divorce, baby, adopting, fight, true love). Whenever theres nothing to talk about people start talking about the above. Its kind of weird, but they always do. But soon it will all be over because kendra and kourtney will be having their babys and everyone loves baby news. Did you know celebity children baby pics sell for millions? its crazy.

I went and did something I've never done before. I went make up shopping. I now added to my small collection of make up items all being pinkish purplish colors because thats what my dress color is. I am getting so excited about formal! I guess its just finally something to look forward too. Its been a sort of dry couple of months and nothings going on this winter. But be bored no more. Now we have.......two concerts next week, my birthday, christmas, and winter formal! It couldent get any better! I have my masterwork rehersals tonight and it should be pretty serious. All 500 of us will practice together for the first time. In italian. And we have to figure out where we all stand but ms. morton says she has it under control. I trust in her! Finals are also coming up and im a little on the worried side. I dont want to reck my good grades which could happen. ahh pray for me. Im keeping it short and sweet today. :)

song of the day: Walking on sunshine - aly and aj

quote of the day:
With our love, we could save the world - george harrison (who was meantioned on jason mraz's twitter post today!)

You know what makes a country not suceed? Its one simple thing. Are you thinking money, or bad leaders because thats not it. Its not having love for your own people. Thats why Tanzania is one of the poorest nations in the world. The leaders have no compassion for their own people. I heard some terrible storys today and I'm gonna tell you some. There were 3 men and they were arrested for a crime. 2 of them were greek and italian and one of them was tanzanian. None of them were involved with the crime and the greek goverment interfered and saved their people. The tanzanian goverment didnt give a crap about their person. He got hung in jail and the night before he wrote a letter that he gave to a man from gahna to take to tanzania and make sure to get it published in the paper. He got hung and the goverment saw the paper but didnt care. So what someone died. It meant nothing to them. Its absolutley terrible.

I partly want to study politics and then go back to zanzibar and shake things up, just like benezair bhutto did with pakastan. The only issue is i'm an american citizen and cant run for office but if I was I would totally go back and run for office and make sure it was dont fairly. I would get the U.S. to back me up and make the voting go through them. And they would do it becaue the U.S. can basically go to any country and do whatever they want. Is that right? I mean they are the worlds biggest power. And they do donate a lot of money to help people but is it fair that they get privllages that other countrys could only dream of. If an american citizen gets arrested for a crime in thailand they only have to stay in jail for 5 years and then they come to the u.s. "to pay the rest of their time" but a majority of the people end up being let free for "miss treatment". Thats pretty unfair because someone from any other country would have to stay in thailand and deal with the terrible punishments. Its just really sad.

I had a sleepover last night and it was really fun. At first I didnt think it would work because normally its just me and akira or just me and taz at my house but never me, taz, and akira at once. But it was fun we just hung out and had deep conversations that are hard to have at school or other places. It was nice to reconnect because they were my first new friends when I went to central and we dont really get to hang out together that often. I dont like big groups of people as much as small groups of people because its hard to talk about stuff when its a big group and its hard to get on a deeper level of friendship with big groups because most of the time the big group is split into little groups of best friends. Friendship is a good thing to have. I love all my friends! Your all the best things I could ever ask for.

Song of the day: True friend - Miley cyrus

Quote of the day:Better to be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own.

So I know your sitting there wondering whats new in the sad and pathetic life of Mariam Ali. Well, ill tell you. Today I stayed after school for diversity club and the song that the teacher picked for us to sing is Lean on Me by Al Green. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the song and I hate al green. Weird huh? He performed at the grammys one year and I just didnt like it. It wasent too good , and since that day i havent liked that guy. The gramy nominations were made but more about that later. After the club meeting I went and sat in the commons and this group of guys was staring me down and I did the only thing I could do, pulled out my phone and algebra book! Then one of these guys came up to me and said."hey mariam".

He has math with me but he's like never talked to me. And he asked how things were going and I said pretty good and then the conversation just kinda died. And he yelled at his friend who was hiding behind a pole but he looked really dumb because hes a big boy and Im thinking he might have a thing for me and his friend was acting like we knew each other. It was weird. Nothing against the guy but I dont think we're very compatible. Hes friends with sebastian, but from what hes told me about him he steals stuff and hes funny. But I think its the peverted kind of funny. Anyways that kind of boosted my confidence. I still got it! Just with all the wrong guys....Did I tell you Jacob is dating this asain girl? Yeah hes dating this asain girl. Right when things were going ok for us with the eye contact smiling thing we've been doing. But now hes with the asain all the time. And I get disgusted and he sticks his tounge down her throat. I just want to yell go back to china! But then I realize that she could just yell back go back to africa! And then i'd be stumped and it would ruin the illusion or picture jacob could have of me. Or maybe im nothing to him. But then hes not that important to me as we discussed earlier.He dosent seem like the forever kind of guy......but at least hes not...

Ok so i have a friend named Marina and shes a nice girl but shes not the brightest crayon in the box. And she has a crush on this stoner. Like for real hes into drubs. And hes dumb. And he looks off into nothing sometimes and isent even fully there. But ill tell you one thing hes got going, his looks. Not amazing but somewhere in between. And shes ignoring the fact that hes a total loser because hes "cute". And she calls him "her stoner". She dosent EVER use his name? Isent that dumb? How the hell is she going to have a relationship with a guy who she dosent mention by name and dosent care about anything but illegal activity. I dont understand. How could someone love someone like that? Taz 222 gave me the answer. So she thinks that guys look diffrent to diffrent people. Like maybe I'll see lets say chris brown and see the most attractive, sweet, guy in the world and Samira will look at chris brown and think ewww i hate him. Its not that his face or features are diffrent. Its some weird science thing that makes you attracted to a person. I totally believe it! I think its true, because there are some guys ive been attracted too that truley suprise everyone. Its WEIRD!

Song of the day:
Watcha say - someone I cant think of.

Quote of the day (I think its halarious, i just broke out laughing) its from naughts and cross: "No. he just made you pregnant instead dad said bitterly. " Callum didnt rape me, he really didnt! -Sephy. "But your pregnant, he must have "mother said. "I'm pregnent because we made love to each other, And it was te ost magical wonderful night of my life. My only regret is that we cant do it again- . -sephy. Dad slaped me SO hard he kocked me off my feet.

I dont know why but when It gets to the dad part I just crack up

Hello everyone! How was the long road back to school? Mine was suprisingly not soo bad. The break got me to school refreshed and I really enjoyed it. The classes have been going by fast and everyone has been really nice. Its been good. And guess what? We got a new seating arrangment in history and I still get to sit by sebastion! Not I know I said their not really a priority and I wasent lieing their totally not but i just like talking to guys as friends but I can when their not like right in front of my face. I have some serious confidence issues. And winter formal is comming up! People have began talking about it and i hate to toot my own horn but ive been incouraging my friends to go. And they're listening. They were all bummed about not have a date but i told them that it dosent really matter and just because you dont go with one dosent mean you cant find one there. and its fun with your friends beause then you dont have to be so nearvous and stuff. So hopefully ill have a small group of people to go with.

Ok, so i've been writing bits and pieces of this blog for the longest time. I guess you can say ive been busy and lazy and just havent finished. Today im taking my drivers test. Its really important for me to pass it, because i only have this month to pass so that I can be able to drive everywhere at 16. Today I had to wait outside for my dad. I was kind of angrey that he didnt think about his poor daughter who could have forgot her key. But im happy hes doing a little better and driving. But I can tell that hes scared that he wont be able to walk like normally. According to the doctors the surgery went really well though.

Im being inspired with Tyra again. Theres this couple who have been together for 12 years. They met in college and they've been dating and got proposed and then he just keeps puttin git off. His excuse is that they dont have enough money to be finacially stable. I dont understand that. Why is it that people think that poor people cant get married and stay married? We're all people and if your in love there wont be problems, because the love can get through everything. Another thing I dont get and that tyra dosent either is that the guy wanted to have a kid. He was willing to be the baby daddy but didnt want to comitt to the mommy. And children are forever you know. You can divorce your child (well you can but thats a diffrent story). If the marrige dosent work you can always divorce but your child will always be alive. For all the men out there. PUT A RING ON IT! Listen to the words of the great beyonce, they'll answer everything.

Gossip girl and one tree hill were amazing last night! I dont know if I mentioned it but brooke found out she cant have kids and her and julian were getting ready to marry but that kind of changed things. Because Julian wants kids but hes been lying to brooke about not wanting them. Who does he choose to confide in? Alex who happens to be in love with him. So ofcourse alex talks to brooke and absolutley crushes her. Its terrible. It was so sad I wanted to cry. I felt for brooke because she was the one character on one tree hill who always wanted to have a baby and be married and be a mom. But now shes the last of the original girls who dosent have a man and a baby. Its really sad. But anyways julian freaked out at alex and I think she commited suicide because she was in a bathtube filled with blood looking dead. GOSSIP GIRL had some baby drama too. Guess whos pregnant now? Dorota! Her maid. Shes getting a baby. And serena decided to ignore nates plea for her to stay and be with him and go off with a married man!! It made me so mad. And chuck being the hot amazing guy that he is let his girlfriend blair go to paris without him so he can nurse his best friends heart back to health. I love, love love it. And cant wait till nxt week.

Song of the day: Single ladies, Say my name, Baby boy. Just anything beyonce and destinys child. Im in the mood for it!



quote of the day: Do it with class but undress that ass - Kourntey Kardashian talking about Kim Kardashions playboy shoot.

Ok so I thought for a long time about it and decided that im not asking prince a. to go to formal with me. Dont get me wrong I would love to go with him and it would be a dream come true but I dont think thats the enviorment I want that moment to be in. And I dont know if i'm ready to ask him out yet. Or if I can. Like I have asked like one guy out and it wasent even face to face. So I was thinking some day next summer , I could just call him and just say how I feel? But anyways im not ready to do that in my school with all these people (some of which I dont even like) ruining the day thats supposed to be perfect. So I will do something about it but formal isent the step im going to take for it. I think I'll just go to formal on my own and enjoy myself with some friends and hope it goes well. But the idea of asking him out is officially an option because life is too short to just be pleased with a fantasy. Am I right? I'm pretty sure im right.



Next week i'm going to take my written drivers test and then i'm going to be able to start practicing with an actual car! I'm really excited becaue now seems like a good time and i've been taking practice tests and at first I was failing but I just got an a 100% one! Its really exciting! I've also been reading the newest book in the pretty little liars series. Its amazingly good!! I'm starting to believe the dont trust the cop stuff after this mystery book. I've also been very into keeping up with the kardashions latley. And there was a recent episode where kris was urging her husband bruce to have plastic surgery. To me it seemed like she thought he was ugly and made him fix it. But she ofcourse said its because she thinks he feels uncomforable with himself. Is that ok? To make someone you love change themselves because you dont like it. I think not. But the show has been really good but it ended with a LOT of breakups. Which is always saddening. Rob is no longer dating that cheetah girl after he totally intruduced her to his family and was caring to her. It was sad. But her family was too conservitive for his crazy family. It was cute though, him trying to change them.



I think im addicted to keeping up with the kardashions. I just cant stop watching it. Theres just something exciting about the way they live their lives. I'm going to watch again in a second but I figured something out. I dont really want those realationships with some of the guys I meantioned to work out. I just enjoy their attention and kinda like talking to them but im its really superficial and i dont like their personalitys. BUT I do want i to work with prince. I REALLY do. And I need to do something about it. So im going to start thinking about a possible fb mail letter to send him.....

Song of the day:
My boo - Usher and alicia keys

quote of the day:
Make a wish, take a chance, make a change and breakaway (a.k.a. talk to prince)

OMG! HELP TWEETER....

I spent the day with some of my BEST FRIENDS! I love them all . I hung out with SAMIRA, OLIVIA M. , and OLIVIA W. And I was telling Olivia(s) about how much fun had with samira and my "African clique". And they were all reminding me how lucky I am to have all of you guys cause I blab about you all the time like samira, Iman, the guys, the aunties just all of you. And So the olivias said that since formals coming up and I NEED A date that i should ask my prince..... I told them we were totally not allowed to bring other people and they said I had to talk guidence counsler and beg. And they got the image in my head of him going with me. And walking me in and bringing me a crossage and all that good stuff. It would be magic! Im really good at begging but im not gonna beg if I dont get the courage to ask. And I realize its far away and rides are totally a problem. And i would have to tell my parents that I like him and that he was taking me obviously. But maybe? And it would be a good time to bring up that I really like him and show him how much fun I can be.

my little birdy friend (tweet, tweet) what do you think? Have the olivias lost it or is it about time average cinderella got her prince and turned into a princess? The shoe does fit. :)



BUT he could say no, and then that could make life a whole lot more awkward and id have to get over it and give the whole things up and that would be crushing. Not to meantion i'd be so nearvous I might make a fool out of myself. I need some help and some thinking over to do do.

Holiday season has begun!!

So yesturday was thanksgiving and today is eid and im pretty much thinking that holiday season has begun!!! Thats really exciting. Even though I dont celebrate half of them its still fun to see people cheery. Like kwanza. I love seeing people pretend to be african. Wearing nigerian shirts and saying upendo a lot. Its nice and when hannukah comes around I watch that movie about the jewish basketball players, then my birthday (party? , no party?), and then christmas which is always great. I decided to ask for an ipod touch for chirstmas and some little stuff for my birthday. Like a curling iron, cake decorating kit, new jacket thats in between heavy and light. That kind of stuff. By the way Samira. If I was ot have a party it would be on the 18th. So mark the date. But the way things are looking so far no party for me. But maybe just maybe I can have one the first day of break but thats always bad because people are traveling and stuff. Anyways ill keep you guys posted.

Today I went to kansas city! I love going there because I always see the BEST people I know. Like Princess Samira (tweet tweet, tweet tweet), and the REALLY hot prince with the most attractive new haircut. Wow he just Keeps getting better! :) And then the "sweet and sour" little kids who are so cute and nice but can change within the snap of fingers. And all the nice aunties and some nice uncles. Its great to go there. Then I also have a new FORMAL DRESS!! Yay. I got it in olathe and its realllly cute. Its like a pinkish purple but not magenta ith a black bow and then this black floral design and then this black thing over it but you can see the pink. Its really pretty. Im getting excited about winter formal.

tweet, tweet tweet. (that is just too fun)

Now im gonna go eat cake and probably watch new moon again! bye

Song of the day:
Halo/walking on sunshine glee version

quote of the day:
tweet tweet tweet tweet

Happy Thanksgiving!

This has been an exceptionally great Thanksgiving. I think its the best I've ever had. We watched the Macys Day parade when I woke up and then we made biscuts and tea for breakfast. And then my mom kicked people out of the kitchen and started cooking. Although she will never admit it I think she likes to cook. So she cooked up a storm while I cleaned and then talked to Samira and took care of my dad. Then when she was all cooked out I made the cake, rock cake and monitared the turkey to make sure it dosent burn or anything while she showers. I was thinking it might turn out to be bad because theres a little family fighting going on with my extended family but it was a civilized event. It was my family, plus my grandpa, my aunt bite and my uncle denis,and My uncles moses, sunday, and muhadjeir. We pigged out and then the discussions began...

Every year we talk about world issues. Its just a given that the conversation will lead to it. The first one was isreal and whos land it is. We are christians and christians started out as jewish people. Not all of us but some. And in the bible it says that god helped moses (musa) take the people out of egypt and lead them to their promised land. And it said that they would suffer for 40 years untill they got there. They believe that the place they reached after 40 years was isreal. Then there are the origninal people that were already there. And its this big never ending debate which causes a ton more world issues. And its fun to talk about it.

Another dicussion that seems to come up is adam and eve. The words in the swahilli bible is that god made a helper for adam and she was eve. Therefore woman were meant to be helpers according to some members of my family. Not me! I think it was meant that they were meant to help each other and make an easier life style. Then today something else came up and I didnt want to believe it but it made sense. Someone said that they believe that more white people will make it to heaven then colored people. Dont freak out just yet. The point was that it seems that although people of colored attend religious places and stuff they dont actually follow through with the deads. Theres a story that took place in zanizbar. A leader of islam was on his was to the mosque when he ran into this blind man with a stick and this white girl walking him across the street and helping him out. He was curious what was going on and asked where are you from, and how do you know him? She said that she dosent know him but shes from denmark and shes with a group of peope trying to help the handicapped people of zanzibar. And he decided to stand by and watch how many other people would take an intrest in the person helping the handicapped person. No one stopped. No one of any religion, of shamba or mainland, tall or short stopped to see what was going on. Where were the african people to help their neighbor, family member, and friend cross the street and survive doing the daily stuff? It took someone white from america to care for the person. Who do you see doing good deeds? Im not going to lie I never really see black people voulenteering. And if they do its a minority. Its really sad when you think about it.

Things I am thankful for: Having such a wondeful family, Having the best friends in the world, Good health, Having something to believe in, God never giving up on me even when I make mistakes, Teachers and world leaders for making sure things arent caotic and teaching us, and for having a genuinly good life. :)

Anyways ill dicuss more of the issues later. Im having a fashion emergency. I have nothing to wear tommorow and I might see prince there. And I have to look cute because i wont be looking small after pigging out today. But I WILL find something nice to wear.

Song of the day:
WE are the world - Michael jackson and others

Quote of the day:
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

I forgot to mention who else was at the Kardashion wedding! Adrian balon the spainsh cheetah girl! And she seemed like a female dog! Sorry but its ture. Like Rob kim and khloe and all of thems brother used to date her and despretly wanted her back and she went up and talked to him and she was pretty mean. Like he asked her if she cried and she goes I dont do s*** like that. I mean what? And she was drinking up a storm. And it was not good. And to think she was my favorite cheetah girl!

I just finished watching the movie precious. It was phenomenal! I believe it. I felt like I was in the movie. The main character precious is being emotionally/mentally/physically abused by her mother. The reason her mom is doing all of this stuff is because precious was being raped by her father and had one kind and one on the way. Her first child, a girl named mongo has down syndram. It was really sad and she let her live with her grandmother because her mother was such a mean person. When she had her secound chance he was healthy thanks to this new school shes been going to that sent her to the hospital for the birth and guess what his name was? Abdul, only they said it Ah-bdool. Like two seperate words. And it had a happy ending but it was tough to watch and see all thost scenes. Monique is a wonderful actress. I had never taken her seriously as an actress before this movie. Her emotions make her feel so real. and mariah carey was ok but her part wasent too hard in my opinion. I would suggest the movie to anyone but theres a lot of bad language and there are some scenes that made it rated r. But its online. And it will make you be thankful for your life. :)

I finally got to see the kerdashian wedding episode today. Everyday people in my history class talk about how much they love the shoe and I sleep realllly early and I never get to see it. The kerdashian family is beautiful. Their all like drop dead perfect. Perfect hair....anyways I got to see the wedding tomorow. And I played which one is the misfit. ding ding. Its the bruce guy. He seems to have a close connection to their father but how could he marry his wife? And he seems to love those girls. Theres not denying it but I dont like how he went and married their mother when he was best friends with their father. I just dont like that. When you were in love and married and they died, I mean its diffrent if they hurt you or you grow apart but they were married and they lost each other by bad fate. And then you forget that love and give it to someone else? I perfer that romeo and juliet thing. Their love is so strong they cant bare to live while the other is gone. Call me crazy but thats my veiw. My mom nows this 77 year old man whos wife died 3 months ago and he went to the nursing home to tell them all hes remairing a "younger" woman. Shes 71. They get married two days after christmas. Is that fair to that poor woman who died?

Ok back to the kerdashians. People seem to be like Chloe rushed into the marrige thing. They knew each other for a month. etc. But from what I See she loves that man and he loves her too. Its the sweetest thing. I love it. I want that for myself. That happy romance where you smile all the time and nothing is bring you down? you know? Its the sweetest thing. And then courtney is having a baby with that one guy and they also seem pretty happy. And hes standing by her and loving her so it should be a happy baby with happy parents. Its an amazing wedding. True love is the best thing that can happen to a person. Im gonna live by that.

To love! Happy early thanksgiving everyone! :)


song of the day:
Imagine - glee version
I absoulutley love imagine. It makes me feel so good inside. And it gives me hope. I love it!

quote of the day:There are three things that last: faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love.- I Corinthians 13:13

Ok so I had a good field trip. I went to the world war 1 museum and it was intresting. It was kind of sad at the same time. 9 million people died and that was definatly no good. I never understood the point of war. I think what should happen is that if countrys dont agree they should agree to disagree and then isolate themselves from each other diplomatically. I wont hurt you and you wont hurt me but I no longer consider you part of my world. does that sound terrible? Like a signed document divorcing one and other and then later on if one changes their ways they can just publically shred the document. But it was really sad and I felt bad for all the men. They had to fight the war but the woman ended up with yellow skin and hair from factory work! And then they had to marry old men or babys just to make more men for the next world war. crazy huh? Thank god I live in todays world.


I've been really out of it latley. I dont know whats wrong with me. I just get side tracked and weird stuff happens to me. I dont know if ive just not been paying good enough attention to my life. This break will do me some good. Ill sleep in and make sure to get enough rest. Tommorow im going looking for a formal dress. That should be fun. I cant decide if I should ask someone or not. Is it fair to ask someone if their not the only one your heart desires? Like the guy Im thinking about asking is ok but hes NO prince. But prince lives far away and cant take me to formal, not to mention i could NEVER ask him. that would be mission impossible. So is it ok to ask another guy and be dancing with him and share dinner with him when your really thinking, your a great guy but your not as good as my prince. I think maybe its not a good idea. Plus I may have more fun just going with my friends. :)

Follow up on Adam Lambert. So im not the ONLY one who though his performance was unappropriate. Good morning america and some other news stations canceled him after his American Music Awards performance. They didnt want someone who was so innapropriate on stage. Oh and guess who we rememered today? Hes a one hit wonder and won the songs of the day award presented by Ms. Mariam princess ali lautner Jackson! :)

Song of the day:
Angel by Shaggy!
"girl your my angel, your my darling angel"

Quote of the day:
The truth is that many people set rules to keep from making decisions.

AMAs and mores

The american music awards were FANTASTIC! I loved them. The show was opened up by janet jackson who did good, but I was a little dissapointed. It wasent nearly as active as scream was at the mtv awards and I would love if she did that again but I guess he has to move past her brothers shadow. Alicia keys was PHENOMENAL! She did two performances and its hard to choose which was better but she was DEFINATLY the best performer of the night. hands down. She sang empire state of mind and Try sleeping with an oen heart. Empire state of mind was with Jay Z and that was really good. Mrs. z wasent there though? Hmm was she green with gucci envy? We will never know. Whitney Huston was the biggest dissapointment of the night. I liked her strength but it seems like her voice is wearing away with age. It wasent as powerful as the old songs. Eminem and 50 cent though both good rappers were just a little.....cussy. Every other word was a cuss world. I was shoked that lady gaga won NO awards last night. Shes a big name and that was not the best way to appriciate her. Her outfit was confuzing. At first glance I thought she was naked but she was wearing this flesh colored thing. Bad romance was GREAT though.

Adam lamert....I knew voting for chris allen was a good idea. My god what he did on stage was not appropriate. He had this guy go up to his private area and act like he was sucking on it with his mouth for awhile. He made out with this guy on stage for awhile. It was not very good. I thought it was pretty unappropriate. I dont mind if hes doing that stuff downtown or at a restraunt and he just got caught but on a stage, where kids are watching admiring him. Idol was a family show you know. im not just saying it because the whole thing was guy on guy but because its inaproppriate for private stuff being made public no mater whos doing it. So no pda ok? Samira no matter how wild you feel in front of a camara , dont do it :)

Now to my two favorites. Taylor swift and Michael Jackson. Taylor wasent at the show but was in london and heard the announcments live. She won 5 well deserved awards and beat many modern dad pop artists. michael Jackson won 4 making it official that he won more american music awards then any other. But in the end he lost to taylor swift which I didnt agree with. Michael spent his whole life doing music. 40 years if you count the 3 years before he could talk and the 7 when he was taking care of his kids. Taylors been singing for 2. And you know im saying this because its the truth. I love taylor swifts music but that was a pretty big award.

Every awards that Michael won Jermaine would go up for him. And guess who he brought with him? Jaafar Jackson! :) . He was so cute. Did I ever tell you guys about my fantasy about marrying a jackson? I want to marry a jackson so I can therefore be a jackson and the jackson I always imagine marrying is Jaafar. Hes SO cute. He didnt talk but he was with his (brothers?) JerMajasty and Jeremy. They were also cute. But Jermaine excepted the awards almost like he won them. Thanking his family and some other random guy from the jackson 5 days. I would have rather he said thank you for loving my brother , I miss him and together we can make his music live on forever. Bu you know thats just me. I want talk trash on my future imaginary father in law. I was also suprised Janet didnt accompny him to get the awards for HER brother as well. Oh well im sure they talked it out and everything. It was nice. and the JACKSON FAMILY DYNASTY a tv show starts on december 13th. :)

Song of the day:
Human nature - Michael Jackson

quote of the day: About the time when we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends - Herbert hoover

I just finished watching the coolest movie! 50 first dates!! Samira told me about it like a year ago and I FINALLY got to it!! I loved it so much! It was one of the most romantic things ive ever seen. I wonder though what that would be like, having to start over all the time. Thats just one more thing I can be thankful for having in my life. A pretty good memory. It also reminded me that theres a happy ending for everyone. Yesturday I watched Four christmases! That was equally good. It made me crack up laughing! That one is about this couple who lies to their families every christmas about helping some kind of cause , but this year it got fogged and they were on the news so they had to visit all 4 of their familys. They realized without reaching each others past they didnt really know each other and they also realized they want to have a family and get married and stuff! I never really understood people who would rather spend their life "playing the feild". Dosent that basically mean you'll never be loved or cared for and your looking for romance but not true love? Oh well who am I to judge, it just dosent seem that great to me.

I read a really really really really good book yesturday as well. I read it from start to finish in one day. Its called thirteen reasons why. Its about this girl who commits suicide and right before she does she makes a tape about the thirteen people who brought her to this desicion and they have to pass it on to one and other and they all hear how they became part of the story. Its made me realize that its definatly the little things that add up to making a person feel so broken and so unloved. I was always the person who said Suicide is stupid, people who do it are stupid, and that when people say their gonna commit suicide it means their not really because if they really didnt care for a thing on earth they wouldent tell anyone and they'd just get on with it. But I realized I was wrong. Its not like the people who do this want to leave earth, the reason they tell people is because they are dieing for a good reason not too. their dieing for someone to come to them and make them feel like they matter. Some of the biggest signs is a drastic chage in apperence like chopping off all your hair, or suddenly wearing NO makeup or something. and the second sign is giving away your stuff with no genuine explanation so watch out for that and dont be afraid to try and make a diffrence in someones life.

The american music awards are tonight and im pretty excited!!! Alright have a good rest of the weekend. And tommorows basically the first AND last day of the school week! Can I get a YEAH!

Song of the day:
My place - Nelly (Its really old but it reminds me of a really good summer I had around 2004 or 2005 and I never turn it off when it comes on shuffle).

Quote of the day:
The only abnormality is the incapacity to love

THing you better do at 7:
WATCH THE AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS! (yes im talking to you Samira!)

NEW MOON!

OMG!!!! NEW MOON WAS THE BEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE!!! I LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED IT! I GIVE IT A 50,000 STARS!!!! ILL START FROM THE BEGINING AND TELL YOU ABOUT IT.

I left home at 5:30 and my friend Olivia came to pick me up. We got in the car and got in line. We were towards the front with only 2 groups of people in front of us. We sat down and started the hour and a half wait. There were people everywhere. When we got there there was already a huge line for the 6:40 showing of it which was sold out. Every showing from the a.m. to 10:10 p.m. were sold out! It was that big here in lawrence. As the clock ticked more and more people showed. This huge group of people tried to cut in front of us so what did we do? We called the manager. You really cant mess with me and my friends when it comes to New Moon. We bought popcorn, used the bathroom and took care of anything we might need for the next 3 hours and then it was time to get it. We gave our tickets then ran. We got the best seats in the whole theater. 1 row rom the back in the center!!! It seemed like forever for the previews to end...

Then it started. My god, it was amazing. That seems like an understatment. First things first the guys were HOT! Hot! Hot! Hot! smokin hot!!! (Talking about the wolf clan by the way). They were amazingly attractive and the first time they came in the whole theater sighed. Same with when edward came on but that was more out of excitment. The scenes followed the book perfectly and you got really sucked into it. The ending made you want to cry because you wanted more so badley. I decided I want to see in 50 more times! It was THAT good! I decided to foget all those other guys exsist. I want a sexy wearwolf man like TAYLOR LAUTNER!! Did I mention he looked good? HE LOOKED GOOD. He spent a lot of the movie with his shirt off and chopped the long hair off and got this tatto. He made you want to drool. There is hope for the human race. Then theres this part edward took his shirt off EWWW. It was nasty. He was all unbuff and pale. And he had hair in weird places on his chest. he needs to take some tips from tayler lautner my future husband. AHH go see it! Everyone! Its perfect and missing it is like missing out on half your life!!!

Yours truley, mrs. taylor lautner! Sorry taylor swift he is officially MINE :)

Ding ding ding. It is first hour. Im in my english class and my teachers not there. We got this substitue. We just finished reading twealfth night on thursday and the story line was good and exactly like the one of shes the man. No matter how many all 3 of her classes begged her the teacher would not let us watch that and insited on the ancient boring version. So this girl in our class brought shes the man. She slowly sent it up towards the front of the room and this girl switched the dvd. The directions on the subs sheet was to just press play. The video would be there already. So she did and it was shes the man!!! She was laughing along and she totally loved it. She didnt catch on at all. The other classes watched it to and in fourth our this other girl was supposed to switch the dvds back before Ms. G.I. Joe got back. But the substitute teacher saw her and she ran for it. The sub caught up to her and made her give it back because she was "stealing the schools property". It was all pretty worth it. It was my first ever time witnissing a school prank that went through :)

I figured something out. Im totally growing up. Im done with all the stupid drama and I realized that although boys are fantastic, I mean NO one can disagree after they've seen a shirtless Taylor Lautner.....I dont really need them to be happy. I'm pretty happy as it is right now. Winter formals coming up and I wanted to ask this guy to take me and it would be a date but we wouldent be dating and I realized if he said no it wouldent be the end of the world. I would just dance with my friends and have a good time like I always do. Maybe everything I used to think was a big deal was really nothing. Its intresting how my mindset has changed. I kind of like the new Mariam way of thinking.....

A life changing news event came out yesturday. Oprah announced on her show that season 25 will be her last year of doing the show. No more oprah. Can you believe it? She said there was no definate reason except for that it felt right to be leaving after 25 years. She spent half of her life doing the show and had some pretty legendary interviews. Tom cruise jumping up and down on her couch, one of three michael jackson interviews in all 50 of his years of living. Shes had all the big respectable celelbritys. Had more seasons then any other show. Shes a sucsess. I was talking to my dad and although he didnt agree at all, but I said that its almost like a dieing family member. Ever since I was born Oprahs been on the t.v. with us at 4:00 everyday. Never one day has it been cancelled or has she missed a big event that happened in the last 25 years. Its sad that its ending. Although it is going till 2011 the idea of an end to it is pretty sad...

Song of the day: Under control - parachute

Quote of the day: Do you have a.d.d? -Sisi. Im not sure, but I bet i dont because thats just what they call stupid kids to make them feel better - Daniel. It was hilarious in class.

A new sense of freedom

Yesturday the coolest thing happened. I'm pretty sure I mentioned glee and the janet jackson interview. So I did everything I was supposed too and parked myself in front of the television. And I was pretty sure around 9:30 my dad would yell," Mariam! Go to bed!" and that would be it for my interview. But the time ticked on and my dad never said it. Even though he was upstairs and could hear the tv on. At 10:00 I said good-bye and went to bed and wasent even in trouble! They trust me! Isent that so cool!!! I know most kids can stay up whenever they want since like sixth grade but its diffrent for me.....my parents are pretty strict. It was a big day.

The interview was wondeful. I never really felt like I wanted to be like a celebrity before, but after that interview I figured out I want to be like janet Jackson when I grow up. Shes 43 but still pretty and in style which I would absolutley love. She lives in a big beautiful house by the beach. She has a sense of family , and shes a millionare. Shes sucsessful and down to earth. Not to mention shes an amazing dancer and has really white teath. Can you say role model? The only thing missing is that perfect guy for her but some day she'll hook up with the perfect celeb like leonardo dicapprio or something and then she'll have that happy ending she needs. I know Samira isent her biggest fan but....shes a good person and donates to charity!!! Oh and shes comfortable with herself. I need to reach that point where I like me and the way I look and stuff. im pretty close to there but I just need to be healthier first. And then ill be on the first step towards being like janet jackson! Did I mention I need hair like that?

The most weird thing happened. Ok so it may just be the boy apprciation syndrom ive been having but today I reacted to a guy in a reallllly werid way. I was in second hour spanish and we have delivery people who deliver stuff for students. And this one asian girl always delivers for second hour. Today this one guy who I sort of said I was over yesturday walked in and had a note. He looked right at me and smiled but I thought he may be looking at his ex who was sitting behind me. First of all its really odd that he was the delivery guy. Then it turned out the note was for ME to go to the student services office. But my teacher just would not let me leave and what if he was waiting for me!! But anyways the whole point was when he smiled at me in this cute and cool sweater my whole body reacted. My heart started beating fast and I felt like my body was a machine brought to life and then weirdly...my period started. Right then! He caused my body to turn on! haha he turned me on. He made me feel alive, and he didnt even say anything except for your welcome and smile cutley. Conncection? Maybe but I wonder if he felt anything. Hes single right now but we havent spoken since fahtmas birthday party when I was in 5th grade and he happened to also be at the pool. Weird huh? I wonder if he remembers.....ok so the guy appriciation continues.

Thanksgiving seems kind of like a dissapointment since Samira wont be coming :(! I wish there was some way it would work out. But theres always Auntie Khadijas I guess. Your going right? So I still will see you!

p.s... the oprah show ends in 2011 after 25 seasons!! can you believe it! A world without the oprah show!!! But apperently there might be an oprah CHANNEL after that which makes it ok.

Song of the day:
Superstar- Taylor swift

Quote of the day:
A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it.

So I was watching tyra back to back, I havent been able too in so long, because Tyra can have some iffy topics and my dad freaks out when I watch entertaiment tonight so its a bad idea to watch tyra in front of him. Plus for some reason he hates her along with paris hilton (who apperently looks like a rat?) and Larry king (who apperently needs to retire). Anyways if that dosent say enough my dad and I have pretty diffrent tastes in tv. But back to Tyra, she got in a deep whole when people started saying she was making her models "black". She did a shoot to celelbrate diversity and she switched up people skin tones.Some of those white models became like black asian mixes and some other rare stuff. And she said that her goal was to get people to see that theres beauty in every color. She had a woman on her show who was "too dark". She was black but she wanted to be lighter, not white, but lighter so she bleached her face and all her kids faces, so she could be whiter and people would believe it. Thats pretty gross. But it modern society it seems like everyone wants to be darker by tanning or lighter by bleaching. Even in Africa where EVERYONES black. Its time we love ourselves people. If we dont love ourselves nobody will love us.

Ok so for the tv update. My favorite couple, Chuck and Blair are still happy and together. The 3 some has basically made things really awkward between dan, his girlfriend, and his best friend. Apperently during the 3 some Dan was waaay more into vannessa then olivia. and shes pissed and left him making him realize how much he loves vannessa who found another guy. Serena was afraid she would start an affair with congress man trip (hes like 20 by the way), and he also happens to be nates cousin. But when he figures out his wife lied to him he comes to the bar where Nate and Serena are hanging out and remembering the shepard wedding where they lost "it" to each other. Right when Nates about to kiss her (AWWW! they would be so cute together). The congress man walks in and leaves with her and the affair is on! No one tree hill update for you guys! You should all be watching it. tonight on fox is glee!! then right after on Abc Janet jacksons first interview since the death of her brother the late and great michael jackson.

Me update! Well im basically doomed and will fail at life because my math grade is a .......very very very low b-. closer to a c then i have EVER been before. Its terrible. And she says its my fault for not "making math a priority". i got so upset. All thats left is a prayer. And a bad habbit is forming. Today I learned how to make the most perfect cookies and I ate a lot of them. I really need to loose weight. I havent really made it a priority yet, and I should! This is the biggest ive ever been in my whole life. I used to think I was fat when I was about 20 pounds lighter and this is no good. At all! ugh..life is stressful. Ive dropped some of my male intrests. I think im basically left with 2. The otheres I havent really talked to for that long but im not gonna lie some of those guys is really dreaming big. But whats the point of life if you cant dream....... whos still on the list you may ask. Prince (dreaming big), Ruben (idk), and a little bit of sebastion....not enough to call him a third

Song of the day:
Just a dream - carrie underwood

Quote of the day: "You kind of get 10 seconds with each person and you never really say anything and I kind of got bored of saying, 'Hey, how are you doing?'" Pattinson tells the talk show host. "[A fan] said in her 10 seconds, 'What can I do to get your attention?' I was like um, just take your clothes off." The fan's reaction? "She stood there and frantically started taking her clothes off and got dragged out of the room by security," says Pattinson. "I never felt more terrible." - Robert pattison

All the words i've wanted to say to a certin boy (s) and never have.... and also some pretty amazing love songs.
1. Love story - Taylor swift
2.Our Song - Taylor swift
3. Hate that I love you Neyo & Rihanna
4.1234 - Plain white tees
5. You belong with me - Taylor swift
6. So small - Carrie underwood
7. superhuman - Chris Brown
8. Check yes juliet - We the kings
9. Marys song - Taylor swift
10. No air - chris brown and Jordin Sparks
11. Realize - Colbie Colliat
12. Under control - Parachute
13. Jump then fall - taylor swift
14. these words - Natasha bedingfield
15. So close
16. All my life
17. Hero

All really fantastic songs by the way. :)

So lets take it back to about a month or two ago? Remember how happy I was about hanging out with a guy? not in the romantic way and he was a musician and i listened to his cd? Well its on youtube now. isent that cool? And it "just came out", but I heard it a month ago when it was written just the day before. cool huh? I feel cool. I like the music thing. Im loving it more and more. I dont think I can be a proffessional musican. I mean im starting to have more confidence in the way I sound and my writing skills. I think im pretty good. I want to work harder on it. I just loose intrest in things really fast. Its a really bad habbit.

So you want to know what my weekend was about? Glee. Glee, glee, glee. I saw the cast on tyra the other day and figured out that I was really missing out. So I looked online and watched all 9 espisodes. It is so good!! Its not as dramatic as the other shows I normally watch. It tkaes place in a high school following the teachers and students. Its great. And theres LOTS of singing almost like a musical. Its basically a socailly acceptable, and more intense version of high school musical. Like theres more teen drama and stuff. Its real and has the drama between the popular kids and the glee club. And it also includes the stuff that no one wants to talk about. Like theres a gay guy on the show and they show the issues he has to deal with, then theres a handicapped boy. And they talk about how hard it is to be him in one of the episodes. Not being able to reach stuff, being felt sorry for, and how the chair pushes people away. Its realy sad. But its generally a happy show that makes you feel good. Samira you would like it. Its not a drama but its a happy show with singing and dancing. I love, love, love it. Watch wensday nights on fox! You know I will. Oh and gossip girl and one tree hill tomorow!

New moon is coming out! Im so excited. Im getting my ticket early. Im gonna love this movie because I am Team Jacob all the way! I love, love, love jacob. Not only is he waaay more attractive then edward. I really dont get the rob pattison love. He has a mysterious look but hes reallllly pale and creepy. Hes just not my type. And then the way both guys love are diffrent. Jacob cares about Bella but hes not weak like Edward. He dosent let her do whatever she wants. And he wont let her go through with something that could hurt her. Jacob knows when to say o and hes tough and he has his own life. Hes her own age and hasent lived for 112 years and if I was bella I would want jacob. But I will admit that edward may be the perfect guy for bella. So Jacob becomes a main in this movie and this is when the wolves come in. I love the pack. I want a book just about them but Stephanie meyer just wont get an email adress for fans!! It sucks Anyways EVERYBODY young and old, man and female should go see NEW MOON on friday ! :)

Song of the day: Can you see what I see

Quote of the day: If a composer could say what he had to say in words he would not bother trying to say it in music.

p.s. just wrote a new song! :)

I saw something scary, i cant lie gross, and real. This woman mrs. nash on oprah the other day. She got attacked by a chimpanzee. I think it was on oprah on wensday I guess. I heard about it from my brother. He was in tears as he came upstairs to tell me how scared he was of something he saw online. I asked him what it was and he said well on oprah, i craked up at the idea of him watching oprah. He cried harder and said he was on a game website and they showed a picture of a lady attacked by a chimp. I quickly used my clever sisterness to tell him that it was a lie used to scare children and he fell for it. But it made me curious. So I went to oprah.com, clicked on wensday and there was a picture of this poor woman. No eyes, nose, or mouth. Nothing. She has a chuck missng from her sculp. She was wearing this hat with a scarf over it so you could not see her. Although part of her head-thing was showing. Eventually she took of the scarf I guess and it was scary. DONT MESS WITH ANMALS. Momma didnt raise no fool, right? Then dont mess with animals. They are equal to dracula, I dont care how long they've been part of your family or if their a newborn. they are monsterous. Unless its a goldfish suck it up and throw it away unless you want your eyes, ears, nose, and mouth ripped out. The poor woman will never eat, wali or steak again. She has to drink through a straw through a small space in her head the rest of her life, and thats the least of her problem. Dude, i wonder if its worth living like that. There wouldent be a very big chance for love. Guys are REALLY supperfical. But God bless her to live a happy life. Samira, pray for this poor woman she really needs it. As many times as you can. Its really sad and DONT look at the pic, k? Is kinda scary

Hows it going everyone? Ive had a pretty good week if i say so myself. If I had to pick a highlight of my school week it would either be the bus rides home of history, because we've been playing this game called the urban game. And its representing Europe after the industrial revolution and you create your own town and watch it grow and stuff. It is really cool! Yesturday was a tough day around my house. My brothers parent teacher confrence did not go well. We're all going to have to try a lot harder to help him and make sure he improves. Its weird because a lot of things that came easily for me didnt for him. And we have very similar dna. I've also been enjoying spanish class. The rein of the not so great student teacher is wearing off!!

Yesturday I went to a meeting with my friends (akira, taz, sarah, marina, that group) to a thing called friends for firebirds. And its about students being friends with people with downsyndram, autism and stuff. It made me realize what its like being them. When their in the hallway, people just autamatically walk the other way. When they sit at a lunch table no one sits there. Its not on purpose, well not my opinion at least it just isent and option in my brain. I mean I sit at the same table everyday but its filled with friends and we talk and laugh and stuff. They never get an oppurtunity of that. The only people they get to hang out with is their parents. And this is gonna be a couple times a month we're gonna do puzzles and just hang out with the special ed kids. Great huh? Its a wonderful cause. But im gonna be honest...im a little worried about it. Although they made it sound like its gonna be the same as hanging out with your friends its not....come on I know its not. And I just dont want it to be a burden or something I dread you know? Dont get me wrong im gonna do it, but I feel like my whole heart wont be in it. Does this make me a bad person? And I love lunch with my friends and I think everyone deserves them but what are we gonna do? Some of them dont talk and maybe they wont even like us. But we'll see what happens and ill keep you posted.

Alright yesturday I watched a Chris brown interview. He was on 106 N park. I like that show but ive never seen it that way. It was serious and I could tell the girl on there didnt really like him. He discussed rihanna. The part that got to me was when he said its not just a room full of people hating you, its the world. And he admitted to feeling a little sorry for himself. He said he thinks he had a fitting punishment for what he did and what other people with the same crime dont have to deal with it the possability of loosing your carrer and getting hate mail and weird looks from people who dont even know you. Its pretty sad. When asked what he'd tell thje chris brown from a couple months ago he said,"make some wise desicions, brotha your not invincible. And remember what you have could be gone tommorow. " I didnt like the brotha stuff. It made me feel he wasent taking it seriously. He also said he is not his stepfather because he is a better person now.

Another part that got me was when he said, " i read everything, watch all the shows, read the papers, all the blogs.....". Blogs. He may have read my opinion on what happened. Just in case hes reading this now. Chris brown I am not deniying that you are freaking adorable and have the voice of an angel. Trust me I havent forgot it. I have cry no more, and I can transform ya on my ipod. Along with russion roulate. I havent changed my opinion on your music but im not yet convinced about you as a person. But ill keep watching those interviews :).

Thats all for today, peace

Song of the day:
Spotlight Usher and Gucci maine

Quote of the day: There's only one person I want to thank, and that is Jay for putting a ring on it." - Beyonce

Ok so im gonna take you back through the thought process that made me think about this. I was thinking about winter formal and one thought led to another and I remembered my old formal dress and how terrible it would be if I never wore it again then I thought, hey! maybe ill get invited to a wedding and I can wear it then. So I started thinking about weddings and it got me thinking about something else. Africa is the poorest country in the world right? hands down they win. But who has the most fabulous weddings. Africans. Theres a family whos LEGENDARY for their weddings in zanzibar known as the mawhite family weddings which occour every other year. And one year no one was getting married that they knew but they HAD to have a wedding so they married off cousins. gross huh? Anyways, african weddings can be up to ten days long.

You have the reception, the akdi or the church serimony, then you have chai (tea party), then you have the lunch, then you have the hina (hena tatoos put all over the bride before she weds to look pretty) , then you have the sanduku (all woman, a bad full of clothes and stuff for the bride), and then you have the party for the "younger" people (basically 60 and down) to dance. I cant even think about the other two excuses to party. The weddings they have in africa are these really elabirite thing with a stage for the bride and groom, then little cotten things with bow to put over the chairs, flowers everywhere, balloons and a ton of food. They always hire a dj, and singers and its this big celebration.

Now we have the american wedding. America is the richest nation in the world. hands down. its normally a one day things with the akdi, synegoge thing (excuse my really bad knowledge of jewish terms), the athiest wedding with nothing but rings and signing forms, and then the church ceremony in the morning. and then afterwards MAYBE they'll have a reception not at a hotel but outside and use plastic chairs and maybe theres a band or an orchestra. Theres not stage. The dress isent elabarate. Its just your average party that ends before dinner so they dont have to pay for food for the guests. Can you see the diffrence?

Now I began to ask myself why does it work this way. How come the richest country has such a simple cheap wedding and the african country has elabarate expensive weddings. There are two answers in my book. The first is simple thinking. The reason that america is richer then africa is because they DONT spend all that money on weddings, and stuff and focas on making nice homes for themselves and their family. Where as africans would rather have a big blowout then not have enough money for anything but rice after the wedding. So its name and what people thing of your first. The second is just the way our society works. An american person can not afford to take 9 days off work to party. In africa, tanzania at least if someone in your family is getting married or died you can just leave work for as long as it takes to celebrate. no questions asked. Its pretty likley that your boss wont go to work either and party. And also American culture is to take a honeymoon. and those are sort of expensive so its more of a private celebration then somehting that involves a whole comunity. Intresting huh? Now I want to find out how chinesee, mexican, and australian weddings work to compare. If you know anything about them hit me up! :)

song of the day:
You belong with me taylor swift

quote of the day:
Whats cookin, good lookin ;) (wink)
Harusi ni watu na watu ni sisi - A wedding is people and the people are us

whats good?

You know what saying I love to hear but never use. Whats good? I love it when people say that. To me its like forget the bad news and just tell me whats good. So to all my readers a.k.a. samira whats ? I know your dieing to know whats good with me. Well my enligsh teacher who apperently might be...lesbian.....was gone today. Which is definatly a good thing!!!! Shes kind of mean. I dont like the way she runs the classroom. But the sub was nice and we did some kind of fun activitys. Choir was great as usual. And todays 11/11! I missed 11:11 so im gonna have to stay up tonight to make a wish. I think im going for world peace. :) then in history....did I mention we got new seats?I get to sit by this guy...his names sebastian....hes nice. At first I thought he would just blow me off but he makes an effort to talk to me and stuff. he models for american eagle. Hes cute. Not as cute as someone else I know but cute. And he showed me his iphone and his birthday in december. Ill keep you posted on him.

Yesturday a monster died. The person who is also known as the D.C. snipper. He was crazy and killed ten people. The weird thing about him is he had no target. He just randomly started killing people. My dad thinks that anyone who starts to do stuff like that is sick with a mental issue because no human would like to see another human die if their perfectly ok. Did he deserve the death penalty? Mariam the christian, and mariam the grudge holder have two diffrent veiws on that. Mariam the christian says that he didnt deserve the death penalty because we're all sinners and no one deserves to kill another human being except god. He should have died when the time was right and possibly gone to hell or repent and the killings be treated as a mistake. Not to mention though shall not kill is very important and the killer of him may have to deal with the sins. Mariam the grude holder says that wasent punishment enough. He died pain free when all of those people died in the worst possile way. and what about the familys of those who died who now have to live without their mommy or little sister. Does that seam fair. No! not at all. But its too late to change anything now. Do you know the U.S. is the only "civilized" country that still does the death penalty. No other countrys are doing it anymore because its inhuman. And you know ghandi said an eye for and eye makes the whole world blind. and he was a brilliant dude.

So did I mention I wrote another song with a piano part. I made a big dare. Taz asked to see my song and I gave it to her so Im gonna get a second opinion on my music. Samira you've heard the song. Its calld too bad, if you remember it. My birthdays coming up and im pretty excited about it. I will be 15!! Thats pretty exciting. Ill keep you posted on how many days till the big day. Oh and thanksgiving is coming up and Samiras coming over!!! yay! I like thanksgiving but my dad makes fun of my and says its just cause I like to eat. Isent that mean? Just because I want to be thankful im being ridiculed. Poor mariam, poor poor mariam.....

Song of the day:
Ghost - Parachute

quote of the day:
Never apolagize for showing feelings, When you do, apolagize for the truth!

You know where I get my most intelligent conversations? At the dinner table. My family does the whole lets have dinner together and its not intentional but we end up spending hours at the dinner table just talking about stuff. Not its more in my living room because my dad has this machine located there where he has to spend about 2 hours everyday working his knee on. And so we move the conversation there sometime. We were talking about the war in Iraq today. First of all we all realize that the Iraq war isent really fighting anyone right? Its a war against terror. I think if we really want to fight terror we should deal with the wackos in our own country killing, rapping, stealing. But instead we tackled other peoples "Terror". And my dad said something that kind of stuck the other day during dinner. we're fighting a war loosing a ton of valued life but them in Iraq dont value lfie. They dont care if they live or die. Their families dont spend a lot of time thinking about it because in their minds ripping of a suicide bomber is a one way ticket to heaven. (maybe it is, who really knows? I dont believe that though). Its a war we could never win. Because we care and they dont. Its just something to think about.....

I had a decent day today. I pulled a really high grade on my english and history tests. A's all the way! We got new seats and I get to sit by a sweet guy named sebastian. For your information im not really crushing on some of these guys but I just like their presence and being around guys. Its nice and diffrent. I feel like im easier to get along with and want more friends. I had some girl time today :) . Akira came over and we practiced some womans choir songs for awhile and then we kind of stopped doing that and had fun and talked about some stuff. We listened to some music and it was nice being around someone with my age who you can just talk to and that can relate to you. Its almost thanksgiving break which should be fun!!! Samira is coming!!! :)

F.W.B also known as friends with benifits. I dont like it, and im not going to beat around the bush about it. I dont like that some people dont want to commit to you. To me that just like getting a free hooker. Someone who will fufill all of your needs and you will give nothing to. Its the equivilant to the suicide bomber (ok thats an over reaction but ya know). They get what they want and they dont care because they already got that kiss or that date to prom. I mean I understand some people dont believe in "Real" relationships. With a man and a woman. And I dont really know how I feel when it comes to non-straight people because even if they wanted to its illegal for them to commit. But I think if you really care about someone your not going to want or need anyone else. But what do I know. Im just a girl from lawrence kansas. But a wise person would listen to me and not get it an open relationship because when they leave your for the next beinfactor you'll feel used like a kleenex. Used once and thrown away.

Song of the day:
She is love - Parachute. Great songs!!!

Quote of the day:
Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.

You guys get two today...heres the second ond:
Tears of joy are like the summer rain drops pierced by sunbeams.