"Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me/ Lyin' on the floor, surrounded, surrounded/Just a little late, you found me, you found me..."

Hey readers!
You all should know this but just in case you don't the lyrics today are from the song you found me by the Fray. Its a pretty good song and I like the fray. I'm the in the "the fray" type of mood. The chamber choir list got posted today. I wasen't on it. It was a little dissapointing but the people who did make it were all the sculpted perfect people who take private lessons 3 times a week. All the people who just have choir expirence in school didn't make it. I'm glad that i'm not as depressed as I thought i'd be. I love choir, and I have a good teacher so we're going to sound good whatever choir we're in I just wanted to be the best you know? Is it wrong to want to be the best at something? To be better than whats expected?

I'm glad I didn't get too upset over the whole chamber thing. If you know me well, than you know I don't get that upset often. I've known people for 10 years and they've never seen me yell or cry. I guess i'm an emotionally stable person but when things go wrong they stick with me forever. Its so weird. I can think of 3 insidents so far this year that have upset me and they're all so stupid. Its mostly 3 insidents where I embarassed myself at school or in public. Sometimes I think I might try to hard to be the best. Weather it be education wise, or clothing wise. I guess i'm just looking for that something to boost my confidence and make me feel sepcial. Maybe i'm just looking for someone to find me. To see some kind of light in me. High school is a time for self descoveries but I feel like i'm confused on who me really is. I'm undefinable.

Today i'm going to give you a good person leson. No, I don't think i'm the best person in the universe or anything its just that someone brough these things up to my attention and people slip off on this a lot. A lot of people give the word "retarded" a negative conontation. As in when someone makes a mistake they say something like "dude, thats retarded". Its mostley a problem guys have but when you think about it its a little insensitive. To people who are special and to the person your saying it too. Give it a second thought before you say it. Oh and another thing is when people say somethings gay or say the whole "no homo" thing. I'm not defending gay people or anything (sorry if that offended anyone) but I just think that if you want to complement someone of your own gender you should be able to do it without having to explain yourself. Why not say you like your friends outfit. Why do people feel the need to add "no homo" to that kind of thing. Its not the end of the world if one of you says it, but I think you should be confident enough in your own skin and orientation to not have to say that.

song of the day: You found me - the fray

quote of the day: Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.