FML! But to keep the lyrics things going, "This is the way you left me i'm not pretending/ no hope no love no glory no happy ending"

Dear Blog,
Remember that happiness that exsisted all week. Its gone. My newly found hope in the world, its gone. It crashed like a plane going a million miles an hour into the ground. I feel like someone shot me over and over and I just coulden't die. I feel like i'm being sucked into a whirlpool. I feel like chuck when blair dumped him. I feel the pain of all the world in one person. This is when fml comes in. F.M.L!!! The saddest thing blog is that I have no one to talk too. No one understands. They try but they dont know what it really feels like to have the hope sucked out of you. I know you think i'm just being a drama queen as always but this is diffrent. This is terrible. When you think that things are turning around for you and they dont its awful. Unlike always knowing things woulden't work out for a second you get a taste of what life could be like. Then suddenly it all gets taken away from you. The birds stop singing, you stop listening to songs like hello and your realize that you should be listening to songs like happy ending because in the real world there is no hope, no glory, and NEVER a happy ending.

It hurts, it really does. It makes me want to cry and just fly far far away. Where theres no one who can hurt me and no one who can make me feel like shit. In a world where its just me because i'm the only one who can care about my feelings and care about myself in this world. To some people my feelings are nothing.I am nothing. Those people dont know how it hurts to believe in something and get it snatched away from you. They dont know how it feels to have happiness playing out and then it leaving you. They dont know how it feels to be the girl thats walked by, not the girl you stop for. To be the girl stomped on, not put on a pedestool. Don't think i'm nieve. I know there are PLENTY of girls out there that have felt hurt and invated. I know plenty of girls have felt pain, have believed just to find out theres nothing to hope for. I know people have felt worse. There are poor people dying out there but it still does not make me feel any better.

Part of me could say that I knew all along. I knew that something was up when I didn't get ignored as always. I knew something was up when there was a chance that maybe someone cared. I knew something was up when I felt something new and good inside. Who am I to deserve that? But instead I prayed that it was nothing and that maybe it was my turn to be happy. But it wasen't. Why?! I dont know! Thats what pisses me off about this stupid world. I'M the girl who prays and believes in god and goes to church every sunday. I'M the girl who works hard on school and follows everything my parents say. I'M the girl who deserves something real but instead the stupid little sluts are the ones getting what I want the most. And I cant do anything about. I prayed for a miricle and I got NOTHING! This is a dog eat dog world and I should have never forgotten that.

Now don't get me wrong. Theres hope for you readers. If your a skiny little b*tch who wears short jeans skirts and a bikkini top all the time. If your name is paris hilton and you have a billion dollars in the bank. If you have the kardashians looks and body. If your a playboy bunny who was meant to meet the super bowl winner. IF you were prince of england destined to get your diana. But if your name rymes with fariam mali then its not happening unless its a joke! Sorry but unfortunetly it just dosen't happen. So what this means for me is that I need to get out of the clouds and into reality. I am not any of the above, I'm just a stupid african girl whos always gonna get stuck with crap. And what can I Do about it? Nothing. Its life. I better get used to it.

Song of the day: Prayer of the children

quote of the day (lyrics to prayer of the children):
Can you hear the prayer of the children?
On bended knee, in the shadow of an unknown room
Empty eyes with no more tears to cry
Turning heavenward toward the light

Crying Jesus, help me
To see the morning light-of one more day
But if I should die before I wake,
I pray my soul to take

Can you feel the hearts of the children?
Aching for home, for something of their very own
Reaching hands, with nothing to hold on to,
But hope for a better day a better day

Crying Jesus, help me
To feel the love again in my own land
But if unknown roads lead away from home,
Give me loving arms, away from harm

Can you hear the voice of the children?
Softly pleading for silence in a shattered world?
Angry guns preach a gospel full of hate,
Blood of the innocent on their hands

Crying Jesus, help me
To feel the sun again upon my face,
For when darkness clears I know you're near,
Bringing peace again



I feel like those children....only worse

P.s. I now have a mortal enemy! Who cares what his freaking intentions were he made me feel this way therefore hes going DOWN!

jk, i'm not that mean I just need someone to throw my anger towards...