Disney "A dream is a wish your heart makes/when your fast asleep/ In Dreams you loose your heartache/ Whatever you wish for you keep"

Hi Readers!
I feel like the song above is self explanitory. Everyone in the whole freaking world should know that that song is a dream is a wish your heart makes from cinderella. Did you not know that?AHH! Get yourself to blockbuster as fast as possible and rent those movies. I have seen most ever disney movie ever. I love them to death. I am 15 years old and I still love watch Mulan, Aladin, Cinderella, and the Lion King. Those movies are just some of the best ever written. They have a feel good message that everyone should enjoy. I swear when i'm married like once a month I'm gonna force my husband to watch Beauty with with me, and when and if we have children that will totally be my excuse. But theres one big thing that I was missing all these years. I'll tell you how I found out about it.

So I was at diversity club and we're having a lock in. Ms. Hunt said we could choose a couple movies that we would like to watch. We decided on The lion king and Princess on the Frog. Do you see why I love Diversity club so much? Their on the same page as me on this whole disney movie thing. So then Akira brought up something about the lion king. So apperently theres a scene where one of the lions is lying on the ground the word sex is in the background. This happens in like every single disney movie. The word sex is hidden around or theres little hand symbols that mean something perverted? How did they get there?? I have the answer for you. So apperently there with this pervert guy who worked for disney as an artist and he would hid this stuff everywhere. In the songs, the pictures. Like in aladin theres this part of the song that says, "good teenage girls take their clothes off". I found it really fascinating that i've seen those movies so many times and never noticed. So I posted a link for you guys to check them out. You really should its shocking!


some clips: http://listverse.com/2009/05/10/top-10-hidden-images-found-in-cartoons/

http://sarcasticbastards.tripod.com/id22.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73fCLx-mFLg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylZrx6pwugE&feature=related

"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night skys like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now"

Hey readers!
So the lyrics uptop are from an AMAZING song. Its called Airplane by B.o.B. (whos knew album is pretty killer) and Hayley from Paramore. Its really good, because when you mix raps and the piano the result is always good. Seriously ALWAYS! And in airplanes they have that combination. What i've seen from B.o.B so far is hes not really a hard core rapper like eminem and lil wayne. I dont like that kind of rapping. I liked the more relaxed kind of tone where every other word isen't the f word. The true rapping where the rappers speaking from their souls. Not talking about nasty stuff. Maybe i'm just not seeing the true art in that but anyways I like B.o.B especially the song airplanes! :)

I have a world event for you my chicas and chicos. Any of you heard whats going on in Arizona. Well their "solving the illegal immigrant problem". I'll start with the background on Arizona I heard in class . A lot of mexican people cross the border and enter into arizona. Then they all live in communities together and people who are well off hire them for like 3 bucks an hour for them to garden and do those odd jobs that most people don't want to do. The reason they agree to this even though some of them are educated is because they dont have the right paperwork to legally work in this country. Therefore they are stuck with odd jobs. This practice of hiring immigrants is illegal. Anyways back to whats happening now.

In Arizona a law was stopped saying any latino person or hispanic looking person can be stopped and be asked for green card. If they dont have it right to jail and a one way flight back to mexico or whatever south american country their coming from. The two sides of this story are 1. Thats racism against Latino people and it shoulden't be allowed. 2. Well, the way this is going by 2020 there will be more hispanics in America than white people and english will be eliminated and "less jobs for true American people". The side that one in Arizona is side two. But no one really knows if this could begin to get passed in other areas or what.

Along with this I have an immigrant story I heard from my spanish teacher. She said a long time ago she had a student and one day she came into her spanish class with a black eye and some marks on her neck. Apperently as a teacher part of your job is to report anything you might suspect as abuse to the SRS. So she said she kept trying to find reasons to find the student to her dest to get a better look. Finally she just asked her what happened and she made up some story about a window breaking on top of her. My teacher just nodded and didn't want to pry any further. Years later she saw this girl and her mother come to church. She said the girls mother had been struggling as an alcaholic and came to the church for help. It didn't help that her daughter who was in her 20s was pregnant. Her daughter happened to be the student she had in class and she found out that the girl had an absuive boyfriend that she'd been dating since high school that was an immigrant from mexico. He was just a really bad guy and when the girl found out she was pregnant she called the police to deport him.

So the guy was deported and throguh the church the girl got everything she would need to raise her baby. The 2nd day after she had given birth the awful boyfriend had come back! After being deported! He managed to sneak through the border again. He came back begging to be apart of the babys life. The hospital had to go on serious security watch to make sure that the evil boyfriend woulden't get to the baby. Eventually the girl decided to take him back and he kept abusing her. The girl was also having a really hard time with the baby. When you have a newborn its a lot of hard work to keep up with life. So eventually the girl decided to give her baby up for adoption. She made the decision thursday and on sunday the baby belonged to someone else. I dont think I could ever give up my own child. That would be heartbreaking. A little after a year later home girl got pregnant again. (Birth control people, birth control). The beating had gotten worse then ever so eventually she turned the boyfriend in to the deportation officers again then went off to an unknown location with her baby boy.

When you hear stories like that it makes me think that maybe our borders should be more secure.

song of the dayy: AIRPLANES -B.o.B. featurning Hayley Williams

quote of the day: Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; and every little absence is an age - John Dryden (This is the beginning of many love quotes comming from my new love quote app!)

"Your still the one I run to/The one that I belong too/ Your the only one that I love/The only one I dream of/Your still the one I kiss goodnight"

Hello readers! The song in the tittle today is by Shania Twain who is a really famous country singer that you've all had to have heard of. Even if your not a country fan her songs are everywhere. Especially weddings, and there is one song by her i've always loved but never knew the name too and thanks to american idol I figured out its called Your Still the One. You should all check it out...its pretty good :)So today I want to talk about love but more of tough love in paticular. I know that I'm always talking about the things that are good that come out life. Because a majority of the time when people are in love good things come out of it. Don't you agree? Well I have a really close friend thats in love but what shes getting out of it is nothing good. And she loves him so much that shes blinded by this.

Before I talk about my friend in paticular I'm going to talk about Latoya Jackson. Most people don't know who she is but Latoya is Michael Jacksons big sister. They were really close before she ended up forcfully marrying her ex-husband whom she thought she loved. This man didn't love her though. I mean I cant read his mind but if he loved her he had a funny way of showing it. He was a real bad guy and would make her stay in the closet all day. He made her write a book trash talking her family and go on interviews making her family look bad. And she did it out of love. I myself have never been in a situation like that but I feel like if I was in that situation I would know to leave. But some girls just aren't strong enough and if you know someone whos in a similar situation you've got to help them out.

My friend isn't being hit by this guy but shes not really being well loved by him either. Half of their relationship is make ups and break ups. Its never her fault and i'm not just saying that because shes my friend. Her boyfriend just always gets made for no reason. Hes got some serious anger managment issues and when he gets mad he'll use cuss words to talk to her and he'll quit talking to her and stuff. He'll just make her feel like crap. Its awful. I finally recently told her she should dump him because hes obviously not the right guy so shes wasting her time. The stupid part is she spends have her time apolagizing to him trying to get him to forgive her when she did absolutly nothing wrong. Something sound messed up about that to you? So my advice to you readers is if your man is nuts leave him. If theres more sadness then hapiness then its not worth it. Before you leave though, try to fully understand his views and give him a chance to see you. But if hes giving you the silent treatment like my friends boyfriend then forget him. Make him chase after you when he realizes he lost the best thing that ever happened. Thats my advice at least. And if he dosen't chase you it wasn't meant to be. This isn't the parent trap its life and thats just the way things go.

So Senior week continues on with a couple new shaved heads. Then when I arrived at school all over the sidewalk was seniors 2010 and millions of pictures of penis'. No joke. I wish I was kidding but someone drew like a ton of male parts all over the sidewalk in chalk and the poor janitor had a sponge in her hand trying to clean it all off. See why I think senior week is stupid? Did the world change because they drew a penis on the floor? Nope. Did it save a life? nope. Did they get caught on the camaras? Yup. I wonder whos not graduation....mwah mwah hahaha (evil laughter)

song of the day: Your Still the one - Shania Twain

quote of the day: If music be the food of love; play on - Its from romeo and juliet

"I am beautiful/ No matter what they say/ and words can't bring me down"-Sorry I Couldent think of a song that relates to the blog so I went with Glee

Hey blog and readers! How y'all doing? Yes for the record I live in kansas and I don't have a southern accent I just think saying y'all every once in awhile keeps life entertaining! My day went ok. It wasn't phenomenal but I had a decent time. Akira came over after school and we rode the bus home together and that was pretty fun. After that I went to piano lesson and that just flew by. I'm actually kind of enjoying the pieces I'm playing! I'm re-falling in love with the piano which is great! So school was intresting. Senior week struck. Last night the first three boys got their heads shaved.

One of them got shaved by his big brother and his brothers friends. His was inappeopriate. They shaved a penis on his head and he had to wear it like that for a whole day. One guy got his whole head shaved except for his bangs and two strands of hair that were supposed to be pigtails. He also had bangs and that looked hilarious. Then the last guy broke the rule and shaved off whatever image they left on his head. Yay for going against senior week! So now the drill is all the guys want to get shaved because it proves that they have senior friends. It's really crazy stuff. But it keeps school intresting I guess.

In spanish class we had a discussion that really sparked in my mind. It started with my spanish teacher discussing how this guy her sister knows lies to his wife and goes gambling once a year. He lies to his wife by buying a ton of stuff from home depo pretending to be fixing a shed or something then he returns all the equitment and uses it for gambling. He spends 500 dollars on the gambling every year. Are you freaking out? A lot of girls in my class did but I didn't. For starters I thought it was bad that his wife wouldn't give him permision to spend the money that he helped earn in a way that makes him happy. I would like to think that when I'm married my husband would let me spend 500 a year on things I like to do. That's only like 41.00 a month. That's not a lot, even for the middle class.

My spanish class also has a new intrest in golf because a guy in there is like the star of our golf team (yes freestate is good at every sport, even the old people ones). So Tiger woods comes up in discussion a lot. My spanish teacher was meantioning how Tiger Woods spends over a million dollars gambling on a game of golf. Then the guy who worships tiger woods says he owns this huge charity facility and blah blah blah. Which is true by the way, I saw it on cnn and he really helps people. But then the teacher said thats not enough he should be donating that money to charity. You know what I thought in my mind? Well charity is always a good thing but I dont see why celebrities get so much grief about charity when regular people donate virtually nothing to them. I understand that its diffrent but percentage wise. The average person donates like maybe 5 dollars every two months to charities they run into. That like 2% of their salary. Where as celebrities end up spending like 10%. And when you think about their jobs are harder then a lot of jobs us "Regular" people have. I think with how hard Tiger Woods works practicing golfing and really using his talent if he wants to blow a million dollars no one should stop him because once again its what he loves. Kim Kardashian probably spends the same amount on shoes. Don't hate people, jealousy dosen't look good on your face.

song of the day: Rock that Body - Black eyed peas

quote of the day: The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.
- Walt Disney

NEWFLASH OF THE DAY: This is really big and i'm excited to blog about it to you. So everyones been wondering...Where has Saundra Bullock been? Guess where? Guess where? Guess where?!?! Shes been with her newly adopted son Louis Bardo Bullock! :) She adopted a child originally trying to adopt him with Jesse James but she announced she divorced his cheating butt today. YAY! The baby is sooo cute. The baby looks either black or of Indian decent like not native american but from India. Check it out on people.com :)

"For all the times you stood by me/ For all the truth that you made me see/ For all the joy you brought to my life/ For every wrong that u made right

Dear blog readers!
The lyrics of the day are from the song because you loved me by Celine Dion. For starters let me say that latley I felt a little disconnected to you readers because Iw as worried abotu sounding pathetic. This is code for once again I was that insecure person that I hated being so I figure the only way to get a little confidence back is to throw her away. So you all know about the whole prince thing right? I mean I talk about him so much on her you probably know him like hes your own blood but anyways he opened this website. How do I know this? Because I read his facebook page like the bible. I said I was gonna start being honest right. Well theres your honest right there. I read it like the bible and like every little post is the key to my happiness and all the pathetic little girls on there are mine to demolish. Its kind of fun the truth. Maybe I have no lief. Anyways this isn't about my creepy stalker habits this is about how I was on facebook and saw his post about him having a website. For the first few hours I refused to click on him because I spent sunday trying to not like him anymore. It didn't work out so well. Anyways eventaully I really wanted to see waht it was like so I clicked on it.

I'm glad I did because it was really cool. It made me feel like my blog needs some kind of decorating because his website was tight. The little song he posted on there made me smile x100,000 because it was really good. I kind of listened to it maybe like 10 times. I liked it. It was my kind of song. Then he posted somethign about music and it made me think of myself. No i'm not selfish I just can relate to myself if that makes any sense. So he was writing a music which is kind of my love. I'm in a serious relationship with music right now and have been my whole life. I love music. Now on his little post he answered the question I never thought of . Why? he answered kind of why hes even doing the whole music thing. He didn't dissapoint. He said he wasen't doing it for money, which was a plus because true music lovers understand the money is a little bonus compared to the joy you feel making the music. He also said he wasen't doing it for money or "chicks" which made me smile. I smiled because I didn't think he needed any more help in the girl department. Hes doing pretty well on that according to facebook and my intuition. But it also proved him as a true artist.

Then lastly he said he wasen't trying to be anythign but himself. And I loved that. Its part of what inspired me to be so honest because why should I act like i'm feeling one thing when i'm really another. And the best news is he said it wasen't gonna be a "gangster" album. I totalyl woulden't have taken him seriously if he was talking about sleeping with girls and smoking in the ghetto, when I spent the last couple weeks writing about an 8 year old version of him. Anyways enough about that but I would totally buy this album. 30 bucks tops though, i'm a poor girl so that would be like giving you my 3 motnhs salary for 12 songs. but it woudl be worth it.

This is terrible. I actually had a subject of the day and I got totally off track. Geting back on track; at Freestate High School this week is senior week. What's senior week you ask? All the seniors in the school are allowed to pull a senior prank as long as it dosen't hurt anyone then outside of school the seniors basically make the sophmore and juniors life a living hell. Its really not so bad if your a girl but guys get their heads shaved all messed up and they have to keep it like that for a whole day. I really dont like the whole senior week thing and if anyone did anything to me I would tell. I suggest that you do the same thing because if you keep on acting like its ok for people to push you around or do as they want to you then later of in life your gonna be the person who lets your spouses abuse you and find no problem in abusing other people. So get on board this train and lets be against senior week together.

The last subject of the day is pertty cool. So as many of you know i'm trilingual. I am fluent in English and Swahilli and I also speak spanish. Now I Dont know what the real definition of fluent is but for me I know I'm fluent because I can have a full conversation with someone in both languages and I can think in both languages is that makes any sense. But i've noticed the language that I normally think in is english. And I also dream in english even though i know both. Is that weird? For those of you who speak multiple languages are you the same way?

song if the day: because you love me - celine dion

quote of the day: A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.
John Lennon

Random tidbit of information: I'm really excited for the movie letters to juliet to come out. It looks fab.

Blast from the past

Remember last week I began to tell you my story? I started with my first few memories. Well I decided i'm not really going to do this whole get to know me thing cronologically because thats just another part of me. I dont necessarily always do thing the way their supposed to be done. Sometimes I find shortcuts.

If you remember from last week I told you I was born in maryland. I lived in this tiny little apartment with my parenst and an assortment of other people. There were ALWAYS people in my house. We got guests from all over the world and various aunts and uncles were always living with us in this itty bitty two bedroom apartment. I can see the place now. It had a white door with two locks. One regular lock and then one of those locks you slide across the door. And then it had a whole in the door so yo ucan peek to see whos outside that I could never see out of. When you opened the door you were in the living room. We had these not so pretty beige couches lined up against the wall and this big brown entertaiment holder with the tv and vhs and sound system in it. Then from the living room you could see the whole home. There was a dinning room table placed against the wall and two bedrooms with a kitchen in between. It was home.

Back then I didn't realize that my home was small compared to how most of the middle class livied. I didn't really realize that it was odd that most of my neighbirs only spoke spanish. I was just a little girl and to me this was normal. Ever since I was a little i've enjoyed television. I've never been one of those channel flippers who can just watch anything. Even back then I had my shows. I would watch barney and teletubbies in the morning then aurther in the afternoon. I loved those shows and enjyoed them very much. I also used to watch this show about a girl who wore stipped pants and lived on a clock. I was a pbs all the way girl.

I was really gulible. My parents could convince me anything. For the first five years of my life I was convinced that the doctors told my parents I had to eat oatmeal every morning. Back then the doctor was like the police to me. I was scared of them because they gave shots. And everytime I would tell the doctor, " Be careful. I'm a little girl only 5 years old! Dont give me the big people shot please". Then the doctor would assure me it was the right shot but I would still cry and kick and scream like there was no tommorow. I had this video of kids from south africa singing that I would really enjoy. They sang some sogns in english and others in south african and I knew all the words to both. I would even do the litle movments. But that was jsut me.

So there you go, that was a blast from the past. more coming next week.

"Lets waste time chasing cars" - snow patrol & L.O.V.E.

Hey readers!
Your probably wondering what the title if the day has to do with my life. What it means is i'm done chasing boys and I am now chasing cars. A little red slugbug convertible could make me way happier then any of those boys. Same with the cute black Kim kardashian bently. It's adorable and was way more useful to her then Reggie ever was. Ok so maybe this concept is dumb and reality is i'm not getting a car but I do mean what I said about no more chasing after boys. So far this year I had really only chased after one boy. I did like others throught the year but both j.'s never got chased. I talked to them but it wasn't with the intentions of trying to get them to like me. I guess you can say I'm gonna wait to be chased. Even if that takes years.

Ok so the above paragraph was written in the morning right before I went to church. But after going to church I guess you could say I was healed or something. At church the subject of the day was love. When I heard this I was starring to get cranky because the last thing I wanted to hear about love when I was officialy done chasing boys. But I listened anyways and I was glad I did listen.

The first thing the paster did was take out a little action figure of the tinman from the wizard of oz. Everyone was confused at first about what the tin man had to do with love. The paster started talking about how in the wizard of oz the tin man was looking for a heart. He talked about how we all are like the Tinman and we build a suit of armor to protect ourselves from getting hurt. The suits are built from people teasing you, betrayal, dissapointment and many other things. We discussed how although we all think the suits are protecting us they're really hurting us and society. How is it hurting society? I'll get to that. For now back to love. I'm always talking about the saying men marry women like their mothers. You now why that is? Because you learn what love is from your parents. The amount of affection they show you and how your family expresses their love for you and each other. A long time ago a study was given back into the 60s and they came out with the theory that by "Babying your children with hugs and kisses you are harming them in the long run ". Recently they discovered that the theory is a bunch of crap.

Although the great Tina turner said"It's physical /Only logical/You must try to ignore /That it means more than that /Oh whats love got to do, got to do with it /
What's love but a second hand emotion / What's love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart / When a heart can be broken ". She was wrong. The latest study says that babies that aren't given the love and affection they need die and turn out psycologically messed up if they survive. A really great example is that Russian boy I talked about a few weeks back. His parents adopted him from russia which is really popular because a majority of caucassian people that adopt don't pull a Jolie-Pitt and they want Caucasian children. But that's not the discussion of the day. The children in those orphanages get virtually no affection. They get fed and changed but recieve no love and no kisses. Sad huh? Well that's the reason that Russian boy turned demented to the point where he didn't know how to love and that family didn't want him around. It's really sad.

Another study was done with monkeys. The guy running the monkey thing decided to take the baby monkeys away and birth and provide them with two things. A robatic monkey to feed the monkeys and a soft Terry cloth. During the expiriment the scientist observed that the monkey spent all it's time snuggling with the cloth for affection! This monkey had never seen this done but he felt he needed some kind of live. When the monkey grew up it was put with other monkeys and it didn't know what to do. The monkey spent all it's time alone and didn't mate to reproduce. This monkey didn't know how to love.

The monkeys are the same way humans are and a lot if people in our society don't know how to love anymore. There's so much mire hate then love. This is why the divorce rate in America is over 50%. They don't see their parents love and the result is they don't know how to love. So to the broken hearted this ones for you. Although it feels like love won't happen keep hope and it will. Learn to love . For the single mothers and fathers I know it's hard for you but no matter what kiss your children and fill them with love. If it's hard for you then do it so they know how to love. Do this for the future generations and although it's hard don't given up on love. Even when your hearts Bern stomped on, you've been turned into a joke, and it seems impossible love. Because without it the good is gone from the world.


song of the day: Whats love got to do with it - Tina Turner

Quote of the day: Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

Hey blog and blog readers!
I hope life is treating you all well. I want to go back and discuss the last blog which was a pretty serious one for me. I think I totally blew the whole thing out of proportion. Drama is my middle name after all. Not to give you the wrong impression. I really did feel that way at the time. I'm still hurt about the whole thing but I will not allow myself to loose hope because when your hope is gone you have nothing left and everyone needs something to live for! I examined the situation a little bit . What was the situation you ask? On Monday I thought I was talking to prince through texting but I wasent. It may seem like no big deal to you but it was to me. It takes a lot of me to open up to someone and be a hundred percent real. I was being brave and just going for it trying to see if we could keep a conversation going. And "we" did. But later on I found out it wasent even him.

For starters I knew something was diffrent because the normal prince just tells me his sisters gone and ignores my little small talk attempts. The normal prince is meaner. But I though hey, maybe today's my lucky day. So we kept texting for maybe like 30 minutes. We talked about nothing and something. I made a fool of myself and was happy about it for 5 days. It kind of made me realize that maybe I don't know prince as well as I thought. The true test was when I asked him about this album and he replied accordingly; or his brother did. I don't really know how to read princes brother in all this. There's a high percent that he was texting me as a big joke so he can laugh his butt off at the stupid things I said. That's probaly what happened. The second small percent object is that he was just bored and needed to entertain himself . Option four, it was a plot between him and his brother (prince) to stomp on my heart so I would comity suicide and they can pretend I never exsisted. Any other ideas?

So what have I learned from this? Rule one: never ever ever trust texting; learn from me. Rule two: bad things happen to good people and there's nothing you can do about it. Rule three: maybe I believe in this prince idea to much and the reality is it just wasn't meant to be. Rule four: the saying every cloud has a silver lining is false because I don't know what's good about this. That's basically it for this as a learning expirence but now I'm never texting him again. That was it and it's over. I can't go threw that emotional whirlpool. I also kind of learned that I let him have a big chunk of my heart that he didn't really earn yet. So i'm gonna do my best to get that back. I' ll keep you updated readers! Bye

song of the day: true colors-glee

...

Dear readers,
I hope the last blog didnt worry you. I was just angry and sad and hurt and blogging was the best way to get it out. I'm watching a romantic comady as we speak which should lift my spirits and tommorow I will go out for a little retail therapy, i'm thinking shoes. A good pair of shoes will make me forget it ever happened.

FML! But to keep the lyrics things going, "This is the way you left me i'm not pretending/ no hope no love no glory no happy ending"

Dear Blog,
Remember that happiness that exsisted all week. Its gone. My newly found hope in the world, its gone. It crashed like a plane going a million miles an hour into the ground. I feel like someone shot me over and over and I just coulden't die. I feel like i'm being sucked into a whirlpool. I feel like chuck when blair dumped him. I feel the pain of all the world in one person. This is when fml comes in. F.M.L!!! The saddest thing blog is that I have no one to talk too. No one understands. They try but they dont know what it really feels like to have the hope sucked out of you. I know you think i'm just being a drama queen as always but this is diffrent. This is terrible. When you think that things are turning around for you and they dont its awful. Unlike always knowing things woulden't work out for a second you get a taste of what life could be like. Then suddenly it all gets taken away from you. The birds stop singing, you stop listening to songs like hello and your realize that you should be listening to songs like happy ending because in the real world there is no hope, no glory, and NEVER a happy ending.

It hurts, it really does. It makes me want to cry and just fly far far away. Where theres no one who can hurt me and no one who can make me feel like shit. In a world where its just me because i'm the only one who can care about my feelings and care about myself in this world. To some people my feelings are nothing.I am nothing. Those people dont know how it hurts to believe in something and get it snatched away from you. They dont know how it feels to have happiness playing out and then it leaving you. They dont know how it feels to be the girl thats walked by, not the girl you stop for. To be the girl stomped on, not put on a pedestool. Don't think i'm nieve. I know there are PLENTY of girls out there that have felt hurt and invated. I know plenty of girls have felt pain, have believed just to find out theres nothing to hope for. I know people have felt worse. There are poor people dying out there but it still does not make me feel any better.

Part of me could say that I knew all along. I knew that something was up when I didn't get ignored as always. I knew something was up when there was a chance that maybe someone cared. I knew something was up when I felt something new and good inside. Who am I to deserve that? But instead I prayed that it was nothing and that maybe it was my turn to be happy. But it wasen't. Why?! I dont know! Thats what pisses me off about this stupid world. I'M the girl who prays and believes in god and goes to church every sunday. I'M the girl who works hard on school and follows everything my parents say. I'M the girl who deserves something real but instead the stupid little sluts are the ones getting what I want the most. And I cant do anything about. I prayed for a miricle and I got NOTHING! This is a dog eat dog world and I should have never forgotten that.

Now don't get me wrong. Theres hope for you readers. If your a skiny little b*tch who wears short jeans skirts and a bikkini top all the time. If your name is paris hilton and you have a billion dollars in the bank. If you have the kardashians looks and body. If your a playboy bunny who was meant to meet the super bowl winner. IF you were prince of england destined to get your diana. But if your name rymes with fariam mali then its not happening unless its a joke! Sorry but unfortunetly it just dosen't happen. So what this means for me is that I need to get out of the clouds and into reality. I am not any of the above, I'm just a stupid african girl whos always gonna get stuck with crap. And what can I Do about it? Nothing. Its life. I better get used to it.

Song of the day: Prayer of the children

quote of the day (lyrics to prayer of the children):
Can you hear the prayer of the children?
On bended knee, in the shadow of an unknown room
Empty eyes with no more tears to cry
Turning heavenward toward the light

Crying Jesus, help me
To see the morning light-of one more day
But if I should die before I wake,
I pray my soul to take

Can you feel the hearts of the children?
Aching for home, for something of their very own
Reaching hands, with nothing to hold on to,
But hope for a better day a better day

Crying Jesus, help me
To feel the love again in my own land
But if unknown roads lead away from home,
Give me loving arms, away from harm

Can you hear the voice of the children?
Softly pleading for silence in a shattered world?
Angry guns preach a gospel full of hate,
Blood of the innocent on their hands

Crying Jesus, help me
To feel the sun again upon my face,
For when darkness clears I know you're near,
Bringing peace again



I feel like those children....only worse

P.s. I now have a mortal enemy! Who cares what his freaking intentions were he made me feel this way therefore hes going DOWN!

jk, i'm not that mean I just need someone to throw my anger towards...

"Cause I wonder where you are & I wonder what you do/ Are U somewhere feeling lonley or is someone lovin u/Tell me how to win your heart..."

Dearest blog readers!
The lyrics above are to one of the best songs ever written. And the sad part is I've lived 15 years and i've just now heard it. My parents have had the cd in the basment since 1982 and they never told me that an amazing song was in there. Maybe they were trying to raise a music deprived daughter. So what song is it? It is Hello by Lional Richie. It was performed on glee two weeks ago but I sugest you listen to the lional richie version. You'll get inspired. This si back to my appriciation for old music phase. I made a cd of glee so I could listen to it in the living room and the song came on. I was telling my mom how good it was and shes like "Sweetie i've known about that song since 1982". And I was like "You should have told me about it!" She went down to the basment and pulled out the Lional Richie album that Hello was on. She also brought up a couple other cool cds that I enjoyed. Especially the Bob Marley one. I have a new appriciation for his music. I can jam out to them now. haha :)

Even though I can talk about music forever, I am going to spare you. Yesturday was actually a pretty good day. Like I said the whole week has been fantastic and Im still happy about the things that have happened the last couple of days! Like some new songs I heard. :) But sticking away from the music aspect yesturday my friends and I had a party during lunch. It was like a picknik thing and everyone bought food and we ate together family style. It was pretty cool except for people kept starring at us. Then a couple senior guys came over to us pathetically begging for food. It was cute but we had a really good time. When I got home I walked up the hill with olivia watson and jogged a little bit. It was a good workout. Hopefully by this summer I can be someones dream girl...well i'm hopping anyways. I need to get the wheels a moving on this opperation or else it wont work and i'll be alone forever. On a more cheerful side after the walk olivia came over to use my halmark factory. It was fun. She used my card maker program for Hana's birthday present. I got her a giftcard to target and a cute little card that was shapped like a purse. My mama knows her halmark cards.

After we made the card we walked to the party. It was a suprise party thrown by Hana's parents & family with the help of 3 of Hana's other friends. I scored an invite which was awesome! When we arrived to the party we hid in the garages and when hana came back from her walmart trip distraction she opened the garage and we all yelled suprise! She was so excited and looked so happy. It was good! Her parents turned her garage into like a concessions area. They got a popcorn machine and little popcorn holders. They made hot dogs and nachos and had a ton of candy. It was cool. The theme was 80s movies so we watched better off dead and some of the breakfast club.

Her parents got a projecter and projected the movie onto this screen they hung on her garage and we all sat on blankets and lawn chairs on her driveway. There was a ton of people there but the ones you bloggers know of are : Jacob B, Olive, and olivia. While I was at the party I joined another party. My biggest sister is Sarah shin even though shes the shortest of the bunch, and then Olivia is my second big sister, and sarah is the third big sister. I'm the youngest :) It was fun because we had asain brothers from the movie that we were cheering for. It sounds stupid but we had a really good time with it. It was nonstop laughter. I needed to go to a party. It had been awhile. So that was a fantastic time.

When I got home around midnight, the first thing I did was get on the computer and read the first two chapters of the Maria and Amir story! OMG! I loved it! It was really good, and I managed to fall in love with the main character Amir. He will soon be like the new Jacob Black if I decided to share him (which isen't happening, sorry ladies). I read and reread the two chapters over and over again. It felt right. Like the story was written really well based on reality. It was nice. But in a little sad in a way because I could relate to the main character. She was painfully like the me I wish I wasen't but totally am. I guess it was a bit of a reality check. Anyways I shouldent be telling you all this. I should be telling the author! Which i'm gonna go do right now. Bye bye readers

song of the day: Hello by Glee and Lional richie. Listen to it! Please its a fantastic song.

quote of the day: I've been alone with you
Inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips
A thousand times
I sometimes see you
Pass outside my door
Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted
And my arms are open wide
'cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much
I love you

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again
How much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello!
I've just got to let you know
'cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying I love you

Hello!
Is it me you're looking for?
'cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying I love you

beautiful lyrics to hello

"Like a virgin/Touched for the very first time/When your heart beats next to mine" -Like a virgin Madonna

Hello Everyone!
I am in the worlds best mood. I have been all week. I'm serious. It was nonstop good stuff since monday. Monday was the best day of the week if you'll believe it. I have a story but I feel like its too phenomenal to tell. So maybe in a few months. But anyways you know what made tuesday realllly good? GLEE!!!! I'm in love with that show. It took me to a whole diffrent level of happiness. They did Madonna songs! YES! Ok so I want to explain the whole madonna thing to you all. I recently discovered her music and fell in love with it. Number one, because its good. Before the death of the late and great michael jackson I wasen't really a fan of old music. Sure I listened to my dads favorites (Tears in heaven, rest your love on me, one love). But I didn't realize that the truth of the matter is that music made in the past 20 or 30 years is waaaaaay better then any of the songs we have now. I promise. If you have a true appriciation of music you would understand that.

When Michael jackson died something that I regreted was the fact that I just now discovered songs like man in the mirror and human nature but they had been around for so long. Michael jackson is a great. But hes gone now. I will never be able to go see MJ do his thing on stage. So along with my facination and appriciation for him I discovered his ex girlfriend. Non other then madonna. I digged up one of her old cds and I fell in love with it. Her songs speak wonders. Their lyrically amazing but the beat just talks right to your heart. Am I nuts? Do you feel fufilled when you listen to music? Because I do. Right now i'm listening to what it feels like for a girl - Madonna. Its a good song and Madonna is a pretty good example about how you can sing something that isen't romantic and still touch people in the same way. Anyways the main point of this is Madonna is amazing, a wonderful legend and the best part is shes still alive and still has concerts. So a promise I made to myself was that I would go see a madonna concert and mark my words people I will!

I personally believed that gLee did a phenomenal representation of the greatness of Madonnas music. I loved every song. Ofcourse my favorite was like a prayer. I am obsessed with that song and Glee did it so well! I loved it so much. I sang along to every since word. Like a virgin was really great as well. The musicality of it made me want to faint. They didn't really change much about it but they just made me remember the fantastic other songs Madonna has out there. Another song that had really good vocals were the compbination of borderline and Open your heart which was the duet between rachel and finn. They made the sogn have passion. It was great. Then the band with Mercades and Kurt doing 4 minutes. They stole the show for awhile. I was like WOW! I know that mercades can really belt it out but she reminded me that she has a voice just as good as rachels. Kurt as well! He can sing it man. I thought it was a good twist to the show that they joined the cheer squad. Long story short I LOVE GLEE! :)

Songs of the day:
Like a prayer
Like a virgin
Open your heart/Borderline
Express yourself
Crazy for you
What if feels like to be a girl

BOTH THE GLEE VERSIONS AND THE MADONNA VERSIONS

"I gotta pocket, gotta picket full of sunshine/I gotta love and I know that its all mine oh oh oh oh oh!"

Hey Readers, Lovers, and friends,
How are you all doing? I am doing supercalafradjalisticespialadocios! If you read it you will realize thats a word and what it means is MARIAM IS DOING GOOD! Why the reason for all caps? Don't you all wish you know. Today was a pretty fantastic day because yesturday was one of the best days I have had in a long time. Yay! I really hope you all are as happy as I am readers, because then the world would be smiling. Yup I am that happy and the last paragraph was really that cheesy. But hey? I'm just being me. Oh and for the record I am not this happy because I am high! I dont do drugs and I never will. But today is a little holiday that I found out about a couple years ago. Ever heard people talk about 420?

Every year on april 20th people decide to skip whatever is important in their lives and get high. No joke, and the seniors at my school decided to make 420 senior skip day. They all were gonna skip school and get high together. Pathetic bunch of losers huh? If you love me all, heck even if you dont love me dont participate in 420. You want to know why? 1. Its illegal, and once something goes on your record it never comes off. 2. Right now it seems like the "high" feeling is amazing but one day your brain is gonna hit a point where its so "high" you can never come back to reality. In other words, you'll be in high school forever because you wont be able to physically learn anything. 3. If you get high you wont be able to have babies, it is scientifically proven. I learned about it in health. So those are just 3 reasons why you shoulden't be the biggest fool on the planet on 420. Do something productive. Oh and one more thing. As my cousin pointed out a lot of people celebrate today thinking it was bob marley and they are celebrating his legacy by smoking. One, I love bob marley and his music and I celelbrate him by buying songs and spreading his songs not by smoking weeds. And two Bob Marley was born Feb. 6th. Waita prove my point on the "high" feeling staying in your brain forever.


You will not believe whats been happening to me latley. So I go to school and all throughout the day people say things and I'm like, "ooh as soon as I get home i'm gonna blog about that." Then I get on the computer and it all just escapes my mind. So I guess i'm going to do a little current events. Well we all heard about that terrible volcano up in iceland right? WELL; for the past week people could not fly into europe or out of it. It dosen't seem like a big deal but imagine going on vacation, spending all your money because you know your coming home on a certain day, then being stranded in a foreign country with no money. It sucks dosen't it. This happed to a lot of people and cost the airlines a total of 1 billion dollers. It finally cleared up today though, and people were able to fly through heathrow which is one of the biggest airports in the world.

Today I learned about something that everyone needs to know about. Theres somethign called Carbon Monixide poising. What happens is you begin to have a Carbon monixide imbalcnce in your home and it can be deadly. Theres alarms for it just like smoke detectors and everyone should get one. I don't have one but I am currently pushing my parents to by one. What happens is you start expirencing terible headaches and shortness of breath. It feels like no big deal and when you go to the doctors office, they can't find anyhting wrong with you. If you fall asleep in a house that has carbon monixide poising you and your whole family can die. Tommorow i'll tell you a story about it. Right now i'm off to AMERICAN IDOL AND GLEE!

Love you readers

Song of the day: Vogue - Modonna in honor of Glee

quote of the day: "Thank God Billy and Scottyu aren't here because 2 gays and my wife in an antic shop is *Dean Mcdermet shivers*

The second quote is also from Tori and dean. "Do I have a touch for certaint things - Tori" Of course you do, thats why I put a ring on your finger". :) I thought that was the cutest quote ever

"My friend showed me pictures of his kids, and all I could show him was a picture of my cribs .../his kid got a report card all I got is a sports car"

Hey Readers! I have found a new love, that is replacing you in my sweet heart. That is why I haven't blogged for most of the weekend. I began to write about the story that has been playing in my head for years. The story of Mary and Amir. Although the parts that Samira read to me before were much more well written, its been fun to just write through it from myself. The lyrics of the day are from teh song "Welcome to Heartbrake" by Kanye West. I had to edit it just a little bit so I could fit it in. I'm sure you fanatics caught unto that. I had actually never heard it before today when this guy told me it was his favorite song. I figured if it was his favorite, then it had to be a good song. I was right, it was pretty good, classic Kanye West stuff. I'm hoping he didn't get mad at me because me and my big mouth went and said kanye was a jerk. You should always be careful who you insult when it comes to celebrities because the one you hate could be another persons icon. I need to work on my polite conversation skills.

So on saturday I finally made it to private drivers ed! I know you guys are all just really excited by the news. Just kidding. It was acutally a pretty intresting class and I learned some things. Larry the guy who was teaching us was really funny. He started driving when he was 7 years old and has been driving for 62 years. He said he taught half of lawrence to drive. He said he had taught people that ranged from age 14 to 82. And the 82 year old lived another 10 years after that! That just cracked me up for some reason. The class lasted 8 hours and started early in the morning. I got way behind on sleep. But now I know what to do when a train comes. For the record the answer to what to do is STOP! You cannot beat the train. It weights a kajillion pounds more then you.

On sunday I went to church in the morning with my momma and brother. It was pretty good but my mind kind of went elsewhere during the service. I need to work on being a better christian and fast. I was talking to my mom this morning and i'm starting to feel like this is it. As in this is it for the world not like this is it michael jackson. With all these earthquakes happening, the hurricanes, and a volcano actually erupting! Thats crazy. A volcano hasen't errupted in years. I'm starting to worry and people need to find God and fast. Pray people, for forgivness and maybe the world can keep going and the horrors will stop. I'm worried.

This is completley off subject but I learned about someone pretty cool in spanish today. Her name was Eva Peron, or Evita. Shes like the south american Princess Diana. She grew up kind of poor and slept her way to the top. Soon she was married to the future president of Argentina. Eventually he made it and became president and together they ruled. Eva died her hair blond and they lived a great life. Eva donating to charity, the money that she stole from the people themselves. She was really loved though. But then at 33 she was discovered to have cancer of the private parts. I cant think of the scientific word for it. She was dying and quickly. She managed to attend her husbands reelection but died soon after that. when she passed the people went mad and all wanted to see her so they were granted that. Her husband decided he would preserve ever organ she had and every inch of her then put her on this high statue for everyone to see. The idea sounded hella creepy to me. It gave me the shivers. Eventually something didn't work out and they had to flee the country. The body of Eva was preserved, 2 years later but it had to be sent to italy. All that work and she was burried. But eventually the argentinian people demanded she be unburried and then I saw the scarriest thing. They showed us how well preserved she was. I saw a dead person. It was scarry stuff people, scary stuff.

Our spanish teacher tells us that most american people are preserved. Apperentaly they take all your organs out and fill you up with some kind of fluid. That is NOT the african way to do things and it does not sound goood to me. What do yo guys think?

song of the day: Don't cry for me Argentina - Evita Peron and Welcome to Heartbreak - Kanye West

quote of the day: Life is hard. After all, it kills you. - Katherine Hepburn

" A thousand miles seems pretty far but they've got trains and plains and cars i'd walk to you if I had no other way..."

Hello Readers! I exactly what is on all your minds... TGIF (Thank God its Friday!). Unless you work weekends, but my figners are crossed taht you dont. The long awaited friday has arrived. This week has been a little rough for me starting with a chemistry test and ending with an algebra 2 test. But I'm confident I did well on both. Yesturday I told you all a little big about contest but now i'm going to eleborate on some little details that are worth the meantion. I always tell you guys some places to find good, wholesome, nice boys. Last time I believe I talked to you about epispicol boys but this time i'll give you a diffrent kind of boy located near you...Choir Boys. Aww, they blew me away with their sweetness yesturday during contest.

Not only did they sound amazingly good but when I walked of the bus and into Topeka West High School I was greated by a boy in a tux holding the door open for everyone, thats 280 people. He had a big smile on his face. Entering the Room I found a line of Men in Green Robes (Meaning they go to Freestate), and they waited at the edge of the wall untill every one of us girls got a seat! I'm serious :) It was the kindest thing ever. Some of them didnt sit down the whole time. Then when we were dont with our performance we got a standing ovation from the freestate guys. They all clapped and yelled and whistled. Their just the sweetest guys. Go for them ladies, and I'm sure you have a school choir. More often then not the boys who do sign up for choir are gentlemen who were raised right!

I also told you that the orchestra went to concert yesturday. Well we got a one!! Isen't that awesome. Unlike choir its rare for the freestate orchestra to get a one. It was the fourth one ever! We did goood. I was proud of the orchestra, but our teacher is a little on the embarassing side. Ms. Bassow is fairly nice, I mean she ahs her days like everyone else. Shes a senior citizen who is "happily" married, I know this because Taz caught her kissing her husband before the concert in teh orchestra room. Anyways she shows up to school wearing a tuxedo on the day of concert. She also has really short hair, so she looked like a man. I felt really bad for her. She had on the suit jacket and everything. She said one year they actually introduced her as a man for concert and apperently she wears this every year. Some people should not be allowed to dress themselves in the morning.

Something weird happened, well not really. So its the end of the day right. And everyday when the clock ticks 3:05 I leave computer applications. Today it was actually a really fun class because we got to watch Eagle eye which is an amazing movie by the way! I can't really begin to explain it, just know its worth seeing and its very easy to get into the plot. Anyways we finished watching eagle eye and I went down to the main stairs to find JD and his boys there as usual. They were talking and he was pretty cute and I walked by him. I was/am starting to get over him as I meantion before but as I come from my locker I waved to Sarah and was smiling then I turn around and JD was looking at me, or in my direction. And he takes off and walks pretty closly behind me. Not creepy close, but close. I ofcourse get smiley and couldent even control myself. It looks like he might say something....then he dosen't. When I turn the cornor to head for the door he stops and talks to non other then plan (old crush, he was a taller version of prince but at the end of the day they didn't compare). Anyways that was a little end of the day excitment for me.

song of the day: Anything starting with Hey. In the world of my ipod that means... Hey Mama - Kanye West, Hey Stephan - Taylor Swift, Hey there Delilah- Plain White Tees, and Hey, Soul Sister - Train

Quote of the day: There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up. - Lucas Scott from One Tree Hill


newsflash of the day: Kim Kardashian not only did a nude photoshoot to show insecure girls to love their curves, but she went on her first after reggie date with a Spanish Soccer Player from Madrid. Reggie Bush Who?

My Favorite Gossip Girl Stars were, and some still are all dating each other. Leighten Messier who plays Blair was with Sebastian Stan who plays a bad guy. They broke up this Week. Ed Westwicl (AWWWW!) who plays chuck was with Jessica Szohor who he dumped earlier this week for cheating on him with his best friend! Scandalous! I wonder if this will effect the show. But then when you think about some of the OTH stars were married and divorced and the show is still going so I hope its no biggie

Contest day: "Hear though how soft, how saaad his voiice is ever Kalling (yes with a k)"

Hey Everyone! Guess what? Im really excited about something that I just saw on yahoos main page. Ok a couple of days ago, I told you all that you can save the world with love. I know it sounds cheesy but the true story is that this can save the world. So wheres this going? Well there was a bank robbary and this man had a gun and he you know said " hand over the money". So big guy goes up to him and gives him a big bear hug. It stoped the robbery until the police shows up. I know he wasen't really trying to save thew world, he was just trying to stop the robber. But what he didnt realize was that he was taking my advice and stopping one person from ruining the life of others. So go out and hug someone, now I didnt say feel someone up and be a creeper, I said hug someone :)

Today was one of the funnest school days ever. I really enjoyed it. I woke up early in the morning, 5:45 am to get ready for the choir concert. I dressed up. I wore my cute red barcelona dress, with the tights and no jewlary because thats the choir code. I felt really good and pretty. I'm not trying to be vain or anything but every once in awhile its good to take a look at yourself and feel fabulous. so I was all ready to go and arrived to school. Put on a robe and I was ready to go. Where was the choir going you asked? Well teh choir was going to Topeka West High School to sing in the bad room. I know it dosen't sound ideal, but its a really big deal for the lawrence school district. The Freestate choir has never gotten anything but the highest score which is a one. My combined womans choir along with the other 2 choirs that went kept the tradition going and we all got ones! Yay Freestate choir!

The orchestra also performed, and I dont know what our score is. I'll keep you posted.

So its been a long time since I talked about...JD. I know you readers are probably crying thinking, nooo I thought she was over it. I think i'm getting there but today he most definatly noticed me in my little red dress. We made eye contact when he frist arrived in the lunch room and he gave me this look that made me feel soooo good. He got a little smile and for the first time in a long time he stayed in the cafeteria for lunch. I have to say when I talk about him I dont get as overwhelming of a feeling as with that other boy. I dont feel as deeply for him but he sure can make me smile.

song of the day: Rosamadrye, Choreagraphy, Negra Soom, And she weeps over Rahoon. All the pieces we sang/performed for contest today.

quote of the day: Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

"Its amazing how you knock me off my feet, Every time you come around me I get weak..Nobody ever make me feel this way, heeeyyy" - I Wanna Know. Joe

Hi readers!
Those lyrics to the song you just saw on there are from one of my all time favorite songs ever. I love that song so much that I am listening to it right now for the 50 millionth time. Its a song that touches my heart. Is that weird? Music touches me in an unexplainable way. To be honest with y'all I feel more when I listen to other peoples music then when I'm making music myself. Its really werid. Some lyrics I can just relate too and some artists make you feel their passion. Joe can do that, Really well. If you dont know the song then your missing out on half your life. Its really good. I want to write lyrics like that. And I'm thinking part of the reason I cant write that kind of music is i've never been loved. In the romantic sense I mean. I mean my family and friends love me but its not the same. When someone loves me with that chuck and blair passion i'm almost positive my music will improve. Because the things I'm writing about will have meaning. Some of the songs I write do have meaning, those turn out to be the best.

I have reached a point in my life that is so weird. And I have a feeling that millions of people are feeling the same thing this very moment. Its almost undescribable. Its the feeling a person gets when they cant stop thinking about smeone. When the highlight of their day is when he changes his profile picture. When a person looks forward to a time where they can just breathe the same air as that person. Thats all it takes for them to feel complete. What is that? Dont tell me its a crush. I feel like its more then that. Giving it that label is a joke if you knew what I was feeling. But it isen't love either, because to feel true love you have to be getting it back. I'm not getting anything out of it. Im so confused I wish someone would just give me all the answers. Yes readers this is when you are given the oppurtunity to solve my problems. If you have the answers throw am at me. I'll accept them with open arms.

Ok so back to a less serious subject the two shows that i'm love with both had extremly good episodes this week. I'm going to start with Gossip Girl because reality is, that was waay better then Glee this week! Last episode my favorite couple of all time, Chuck and Blair broke up. They were the couple I Wanted to get together from day one and they had a love for each other that was unbelivable. She would do anything for him. As would he. But thats the reason they broke up. She said that she loves him too much, and she dosen't like the person she is with him. The episode ended with chuck going off to bed with a russian woman! He tried this whole episode to prove he loves her, but she just wouldent have it. And the way its looking the writers are trying to push Blair and Dan together which is unacceptable because Blair is meant to be with chuck. When hes not with Blair he gets into trouble. Its awful. Last time he almost jumped off a building. If the writers care about me at all they will put chuck and blair back together.

Glee also had a not so great night. I'm going to wait to blog about it though just in case some of you missed the new episode last night. but GLEE is back. The song of the day happens to be one of theirs.

Song of the day: Hello - originally written by lional richie but sang by Lea Michelle and the Guy who plays jesse last night

quote of the day: I love you. Saying it was hard, but I did and I've never looked back - Chuck Bass

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle, life is a maze and love it a riddle

Hello everyone!

How are you all doing? I'm doing ok. Yesturday night I had a choir rehersal for contest on thursday. It went really good. It felt amazing to be part of a womans choir that good. It wasen't just my regular class but all the women in the choir program singing together and if you haven't been to a freestate concert that is a lot of women. We are singing nigra soom (meaning I am black in italian), and She weeps over rahoon which is an erik whiticar peice. I had never heard of erik whitickar before this but choir nerds are obsessed with him. He has one of a kind music. The song we are singing is almost creepy. Theres this part where the altos just start whispiring. It will definatly giving you chills.

On to a less serious subject, I read a line in a book that was seriously awesome! Ok so she said something unimportant around it but what she said was "that would be one of the 6 things I could say if I was a doll". It really got me to thinking what would I say if I was a doll!! I dont think i'm one of those people that repeat things. If i'm in long conversations i've caught on to the fact that I saw "you know what I mean" a lot. But other then that I dont really have a phrase that I say that much. It also got me thinking what my doll would look like. For starters it would be the first plus size barbie in the history of the world..not nesessarily a good thing. But hair would be so cute! And if I had to pick an outfit to wear for it it would be this flowerly blouse I got from forever 21 with dark blue skinny jeans. I would also want to wear the black shoes with a gold bow on them that I got from forever 21. In the doll world mariam carries around a louis vuitton. And I would want matching jewlary. I also would be a non- cheap doll which means I would come with more then one outfit. Long story short someone needs to make a doll out of me. I think you know who my ken doll would be... What would you in a doll world be like?

So on a more serious subject you know how latley before peeple buy something or get a new car they look on the online reviews. Well I was just thinking, if I owned a buisness it would be so easy to log in with diffrent names speaking about how great my little cafe or whatever is. Not to meantion you would give your friends free products to discuss how great it is as well right? I'm a little shakey when it comes to trusting some of that online buisness.

Guess what? My life is in a pattern. It seems like I cant get out of the same part of the maze, hence the title of the day. It seems like on certain aspects of my life I break through the wall (hard as it is, well for me since I have a brave-o-meter of 0) and then I glance at the other side of the maze. I see the finish line, and then I get pushed back where I came from. Actually I think being pushed back might be better, instead I get ignored. And its not really a good feeling when you see how good things could be, and then you go back to the old ways. Am I making any sense? Probabably not.

I hit a breakthrough with my piano playing! No one knows the secret but I totally figured out what can get me with that passion. You know what it is? I imagined two scenes while I was playing and it made me play with unimaginable passion. They weren't dirty seens but maybe they were a glimpse at the future. I caught one glimpse of me in a wedding dress all dressed up and at first there were a ton of people watching me and the groom dancing. And then suddenly everyone dissapeared around us as the song became more passionate and it was just us. It was so wonderful. And I didnt even realize my playing change till I got up and people around me were like starring at how good I was and my teacher goes "why cant you play like that all the time". And I thought to myself, now I know how to play like that." I just have to get the same happy at heart vision in my head.

Thats all for now readers. Have a quality day!

song of the day: The show - Lenka

quote of the day: Love is a game that two can play and both win.

Piano

"I'm feelin like a star, you cant stop my shine. I'm lovin cloud nine my heads in the sky :)"

Hola Chicas and Chikos. Ya'll doing good? Have you ever heard someone speak spanish with an southern accent? I have its really funny but staying on topic did you guys watch the video I posted yesturday? I hope you enjoyed it. As we speak i'm trying to think of ideas for a video blog, because I think that would be cool if every once in awhile I like personally talked to you all. I'll come up with an idea then do it for my readers...How did my day look like? Well last night I couldent get to bed, I was just really happy... Is that weird? When i'm in a really good mood I just cant really stop and just sleep. So anyways I tossed and turned untill I finally fell asleep. Why was I in a good mood? Dont you wish you could know! I'm going to leave you guys hanging on this one because I almost lost all my secrets and I need some more to be the one and only Mariam Dorathy Ann Alban Ali. Thats my baptism name for those of you who care. Technacally I'm Mariam Dorathy Ann Alban Ali the second. My grandma has the exact same name. My parenst were feeling REALLY creative. Cant you tell? I like my name ok. I'm on and off about the dorathy part. But for now I like it. Thats not my leagal name for the record.

Anyways now to the topic of the day that I was really excited to talk about! And for the record I came up with this one on my own. I didn't even have to be inspired by the tyra show! Look everyone, little miss M. dorathy ann is getting creative :) Ok so the topic is something you've all heard about. Or at least seen in a movie because the whole world has seen the parent trap. That was a little hint there. Ok so today what I want to talk about are the people who runnaway from their men just to see if he'll chase after them. What do you guys think of that? (Notice i'm trying to be more interactive?). I personally think that its understandable but a not so good idea. Because its really hard for a person to realize your trying to get close to them when your running away from them.

The feeling of being chased after is fantastic though. Wheather it be a secret admire or your true love chasing you have way across the country to prove he wants you. Thats something everyone wants. To feel wanted. To feel that someone wants/needs them in their lives. Even I feel that way sometimes... But I have never ran away from someone close to be just to see if they love me enough to chase after me you know? If any of you girlies or guyies (aka manly men that read the blog) are thinking about giving it a try, I would suggest you dont. How about you just stop texting them from awhile and see if they'll text you. You'll get that same rush only in a safter way to help you maintain a decent relationship. Just call me the love guru :)

So I this is just something I'm wondering and feeling aloud. Can you feel the diffrences in my writing depending on my emotion or is that just another secret I get to keep??

song of the day: OMG - Usher ft. Will.I.am

quote of the day: For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. - Judy Garland (I'm loving this quote)

thing to never ever do: Today in my computer applications class and I was sitting next to the two biggest jerks on the whole planet. I really really hate it when people tease or mimic mentally challenged people. Its cruel. Becuase those people cant help it and need the most friends and love out of us all. Anyways the two dummies sitting next o me were mimiking his voice and the way he has some things. I thought to myself god bless that poor boy and knock some sense into these ones. Because soul and heart wise taht mentally challenged child is 50 million miles ahead then tweedle dumb and dumber will ever be. Promise me something. dont ever be them. Thank you :)

April 11th

Hey Luvers and Friends! guess what? About 3 hours ago I got inspired. What inspired me you ask? It was the shooting star falling over my house. No I'm just kidding. I wish it was something that exciting. What inspired me was 60 minutes. Why was I watching 60 minutes when i'm under 25. Well its my daddys favorite show and hes back in town for a week so we were watching it together. Both stories that they were covering today was really intresting. No it wasent about kendra or the kardashians it was like life story intresting. The first guy was born into a matvia family. Think about it? Out of all the nice familys out there this poor innocent guy got concieved by mr. and mrs. mafia.

Nothing against the mafia. I really respect and fear you. So dont consider this blog stepping out of line if you are in the mafia. Because its not. I bow down to you supream mafia guy. Anyways back to the story. This guy and his father basically ruled the mafia. And then he decides that hes done and he wants to be a just person. He was married with children at this point. And the mafia people were like yeah watever step down, more money for us. Because money is the whole point of the mafia. But anyways the mafia guy makes a deal with society to go to jail for awhile then come back up and be considered a good person again. While he was in jail he met with his childrens teachers every friday. The question I asked myself was why wasent he meeting with his children that often? Anyways, what was fishy about the story is that this guy owns acres of land in this beautiful mansion and hes living off "realistate money". Neither him or his wife work and they live a VERY comfortable lifestyle. hmmm, mafia money? I think not haha.

Ok the last story was about this new species discovered in africa. A 9 year old boy discovered the skeleton of a 9 year old boy who lived 1.9 million years ago! Can you believe that it was even possible there were people and a world that long ago? Its hard for me to imagine. But the skeleton of the boy was like nothing ever seen before. It wasen't a human skeleton, or a monkey skeleton, OR one of those human monkey skeleton. Its its own brand of human. The cave it was dug up in was the same cave that they found ANOTHER skeleton like that. They assume it was its moms. But it was a really interesting story. Even though I dont really believe this carbon dating stuff that much. So what if there is a certain amount of rock layer. It dosen't necessarily hold the key to life you know. Anyways its intresting and you all can look it up for more info.

song of the day: Ridin Solo - Jason Derulo

tv show you should watch right now: Pretty wild. You guys should watch it and tell me what happens I got to go to sleep. School is awaiting me tommorow

Get to know me

I'm really excited about adding this to my blog! Now I'm hoping that at least once a week i'll get to write some things about me from the past. I want to tell you, you meaning the world, my story. For the longest time my grandma and my dad have been pressuring me to write a book. It would start with my grandmas life, transistion into my dads, then end with my life. I always thought that I didnt really have a story to tell but yesturday when I was writing details for mariam and amir in love (I dont know what the story is really called yet) I recalled a lot of things that happened in the past that are worth telling. So I will start my story at the very begining....

I was born on December 16th, 1994 at 9:30 pm! I was born in maryland to the parents known as Alban Abdalla and Nativity Raymond. The story that I know of about the day I was born was that my parents were watching t.v. in my room when my mother went into labor. It wasen't that big of a suprise but the doctor had said that I would arrive on the 17th. But I came a day early! Ofcourse I dont personally remember any of this but thats how I came to be on this earth.

The first memory of my own is when I was less then a year old. I was in the baby tub that was in the real tub and my mom was cleaning me. I had hair then already and it was a little curly afro. When I go back to the memory I realize how pretty it looked. I love my hair when its wet! But my mom had me wrapped up in this baby towel that you could kind of wear because it had like a little hood that helped with drying my head. My mom is holding me on her right side and she wipes off the window. She says look Mariam, dont you see yourself? Ofcourse I dont respond because I couldent talk but that was the moment I realized that the person looking back at me in that mirror was me. The memory ends there.

After that I dont really have any memories untill my first day of day care where I was 2 or 3. I wasen't in serious shock because the day care I was being sent too was Charles and his wifes. And they were friends of my parents so I had gone there all the time. I Remember all the kids got in a line and charles is wife made us all say " hello buba" and I was confused because I knew him as uncle charles. But then I remember walking around the house and then getting to the room where they had a ton of colored blocks. I was so in awe I wanted to start palying right away but I Was really shy so I just followed along on the little tour.

Thats all for today but there will be more of mariams story soon. Heres some pictures to help you picture me at that age.

PLEASE WATCH

Hey readers! I just posted my brand new song Dont be afriad on youtube. Heres the link.... I hope you like it and I made an actual video for it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtlKVTMf4Sw ps. the lyrics are below if you want to sing along.

4/11/10

Hello Readers! How are you all today? Its really nice outside. Im in a skirt! Its such nice spring weather I felt like looking cute today :) You know everyone should dress up every once in awhile it makes a home girl feel good. You agree? So yesturday something really great happened. Around ten I decided I would rather open up my song writing book then play sims so I did, and wrote a song that I am really proud of. So proud of that I made a video. I used windows movie maker and it actually turned out pretty good. No its not as crappy as the last video I turned I put on there. I would love some feedback from you and if any of you could come out with some kind of background too it like piano, guitar, or just some beats I would love that. I'm going to post in on youtube then put the link on here when its finished. Most of it its done as we speak, but I still need to add some cool slide transitions. I would really appriciate feed back on it!

Ok so there is something I think really needs to be said. Once I teach you this lesson I think your life and the life of others might be a lot better. You know what words really bug me "no offense but...". No we're all guilty of using it because sometimes you want to tell someone something to help them but you think just by saying no offense it dosent hurt. Newsflash! It still does hurt. Whether you apolagize or not and the words no offense just mean that your trying to get on their good side before your saying that somethings wrong with them. Am I wrong? Nope Im almost positive that i'm right. So heres my words of wisdom to you. Next time you think your about to say those words first think if it will really personally hurt the person. And if that answer to that question is yes then hold your comment in. But when your about to say those words use it as a trigger to control the mean and unessecary comment your about to say next. The world will be a better place if you do. I promise.

Speaking of the world being a better place, on the last blog I was a little down. And its as if the paster knew I was starting to doubt the world the pastor decides to talk about how loosing hope in the world is a step towards loosing your faith. Even when it feels like something being better is impossible you have to always hold on to your faith. Maybe the world is going through a rough spot that will soon be fixed.

I have a serious problem. I have chemistry homeworka and I forgot my book at school again! I can heart my grade being flushed down the toilet as we speak. :(

song of the day: Dont be afraid (dont know it? Click on the youtube link below0

quote of the day: The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

Dont Be Afraid By Mariam Ali (song lyrics)

Someday, I know that it will happen
You'll figure out it was meant to be
You'll wish you knew it so much sooner
That me and you were Perfect for each other

I have a dream that maybe
one day you will let me love you

(chorus)
So don't be afraid to show me that you care boy
Dont be afraid to kiss me in teh rain
Don't be afraid to buy my favorite flowers
But most of all, Dont be afraid to let me in..

Yes I knew that we're really young
But who can choose when they fall in love
When you feel it deep in your heart
Its not ok to hold it in

(chorus)

My hearts the lock you have the key
When you smile and laugh
Hold me hand
Sing this song
You set me free

(chorus)

4.10.10

Dearest blog and blog readers, I hate to leave you guys out of my life. And normally everything worth meantioning is told to you. You've all felt my joy and sadness. Excitment and dissapointment. You have felt it all with me. And im grateful. Even if I only have one radom reader who lives in antartica or something I am grateful for you. So it wont be a suprise that im sharing some big news about my life. You ready for this. The story of Mariam and Prince is being made into a real life published story! Isen't that great? I know your probably jumping with joy reader in antartica. I cant wait until our names become one of the great romances. We'll be like Chuck and Blair, Cinderella and Prince Charming, Jacob and Bella, Lucas Scott, and BROOKE (yes I said brooke not payten he was supposed to end up with her) and the list goes on and on and on. I bet another thing your thinking is....but mariam and prince isen't a romance.

Thats when you bring tears to my eyes readers. I know that we are not a romance. Its a one way passion. Or thats what it seems like although I try to convince myself otherwise. But what I need to figure out is what to do to turn this story into a romance. It does have its comic parts like when I told my grandma about him. That was pretty funny. She even made me email a picture of him to her. and I did... (yes Samira you can use that in the story). Anyways the thing thats missing from the book is the mutual love. Here are some song lyrics to invisible by taylor swift that describe the situation from my view:

She can’t see the way your eyes light up when you smile
She’ll never notice how you stop and stare whenever she walks by
And you can’t see me wantin you the way you want her
But you are everything to me

[Chorus:]
And I just wanna show you
She don’t even know you
She's never gonna love you like I want to
You just see right through me but if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable instead of just invisible

There’s a fire inside of you that can’t help but shine through
She’s never gonna see the light
No matter what you do
And all I think about is how to make you think of me
And everything that we could be

[Chorus]

Like shadows in a faded light
Oh we’re Invisible
I just wanna open your eyes and make you realize

I just wanna show you she don’t even know you
Baby let me love you let me want you
You just see right through me
But if you only knew me
We could be a beautiful miracle unbelievable instead of just invisibleShe can’t see the way your eyes light up when you smile

this is the world we live in

My world has begun to scare me. We live in a world where good inocent people die everyday and Hue Heffner lives to be 84 (as of yeasturday). What is that? I turn on the news and its nothing but negativity. Today I woke up to the cnn breaking news headline. No the cure for cancer hasent been found, Prince william is not engaged and there is no royal wedding to look forward too. Instead the polish president, his wife, and a lot of other polish diplomats were killed in a plane crash. Imagine that? All of a countries leaders dead in mere seconds. This is the world we live in. Another headline that caught my eye was the one about the minors. They have all been found dead. Can you believe it? They head out to an average day at work and their familys and loved ones never see them again. This is the world we live in.

The pope has been making headlines latley. I wish I could tell you its because of his healing touch, or because he is preaching the word of god better than ever imagined. Nope, it has something to do with a scandel which Nostradomas predicted by the way. But there is a little good news for some of you out there. You can cheat on your wife and family as Tiger woods did, probably give your wife every form of stds possible and still be americas hero and the face of Nike. Yup he got the spot back AND Hes winning in the masterworks. And people say all the luck has run out of the wrold.

Another big thing is that a white american family adopted a russian orphan. I dont think he was a baby but he looks fairly young from the pictures definatly not 5 yet. Well guess what happened a couple days ago? They decided to give him back. Just like the shoes you bring home from the store that aren't as cute as you thought they were. Yup they dont want him anymore so they are trying to send him back to Russia. A human being is going to be retured like an object. This is the world we live in. Now a little more on that subject, the parents have reasoning that they thing should explain this situation. No they are not bad people, but the child is demented. He seriously has mental problems. Its just like the scary movie the orphan. He has some serious issues and they dont want to deal with that and dont think they should have to keep him since they werent alerted he was demented. They didnt know he wasen't going to be the cute shoe. I see their logic a little bit but whos gonna love this poor little boy. This is the world we live in.

Now I dont mean to depress you by writing this blog. Sure there are still some things that make you smile about the earth we live in. There are still some good people out there. I have no doubt that the kind souls are still out there fighting for the good thats left in the world. But the main point of this blog is to first, tell you whats going on. And make you think a little. Are you out there doing something like this? Is it right for us all to sit around and watch the world as we know cruble up (metaphoriclly and realistically with global warming and everything). We need to do something about it. Its the easiest thing possible. You ready for this, love. I dont necessarilly mean go out and make love to someone but I mean love in the wholesome state. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love the one that is unloveable. Smile. Just smile. Smile at the good people to remind them that there is still hope for the world we live in. Smile at the bad people to let them know that they haven't won this battle yet. Forgive, "forgivness...such a simple word". I know its not easy to do but sometimes you just have to let it go. I which holding a grudge against the bad would just make it go away but unfortunetly it wont. And the last thing you should do is have hope. You cant give up because that little hope you have could maybe pass on to your children, and their children, and their chilrens friends and eventually the whole world will have it agian. Four easy things that you can do to make the words this is the world we live in be words of joy.


song of the day: where is the love - Black Eyed Peas

quote fo the day: A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act. - Ghandi

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Ghandi

April showers bring May flowers

Hi Readers! Hows life treating you. My life is ok...it could be better but its hard to be cheerful when its stormy and rainy. But im glad its spring. I'd rather take rain then snow anyday. But both make my hair curl up and it looks really cute for awhile untill it drys and looks bad. But you guys probably don't read my blog to hear about my hair. So the gossip of the day is that Jon Gosslin is sueing kate for primary custody. I don't watch the show but I don't know how they'll be able to have a show called kate plus 8 when kate dosen't live with the kate. But the good news is she survived the first round of dancing with the stars! Some more big news is that Jim Carrey and Jenny Mcarthy broke up. They were a really adorable wholesome couple. Some more big news is that Glee comes back next tuesday! I'm watching them on oprah as I watch this and I can not wait to see what happens next. Especially the madonna episode! Thats going to be awesome because madonna and belt it out with the best of them.

So for those of you who don't know I live in kansas! Kansas is a small state and I happen to live in one of the biggest towns in kansas. That is not saying much! I live in a small town. The only fun options of things for teenagers to do is shop downtown (we only have like 4 good stores), Swim at the outdoor or indoor pool, and go to the movies. Thats about it. Now you can always hang out with friends which is fun but eventually theres nothing left to talk about so whats one of the things that mariam does to entertain herself? Cable Television...now people tease me about it all the time but the reality is I don't have much money to spend and theres really nothing else to do so I follow my tv shows. One of my favorite on tv right now, is Gossip girl! I just adore gossip girl, me and tyra banks have that in comman. The story lines are great, they always suprise you, and last weeks was fabulous. But the sad part is my favorite couple broke up... so you all want to do me a favor. Cross your fingers and make a wish (now that wish is that mariam isen't going crazy, and that chair becomes an item again). Thank you :)

So you've probably all heard the saying I used as my title today. April showers bring may flowers. Well April has been an ok month seeing as i'm healthy, and have amazing amazing family and friends but I'm not getting far in making all my dreams come true. Education wise, as always i'm doing fantastic but i'm still looking for luuuv. At least I think I am. Sometimes I talk to my sensible friend who reminds me that i'm only 15 years old and I have my whole life ahead of me to be love. Then I talk to my non sensible friend who says look for someone. Its what you need to add some spark to your life. Go for your crushes before their in someone elses arms. But one of the many barriers between me and luv and some my other goals is the fact that i'm not as confident as I need to be to really get anywhere. I feel like if I go for things and try the only possible result is me getting hurt. And I have to say i've learned this from expirence. I can't live up to the potential that I have in my mind. I have some strong and really decent views but does it matter if no one can hear them? Sure I have this blog. And readers I tell you everything thats my buisness and some things that aren't my buisness. And if the stuff that I Type for you to enjoy would just come out of my mouth maybe i'd be somewhere else right now. To tie this back to the tittle i'm just hoping that good things will come to me along with mays flowers

song of the day: Don't Stop Believing - Glee version (speaking of glee if you go to myspace.com/gleeauditions you can send in a video of your self singing and possibly land a spot on gLee.

quote of the day:
be careful of the geeks you make fun of they'll be your boss one day - bill gates

Easter Sunday!

Happy Easter Everyone! A long time ago today Jesus Christ arose from the dead! Did that sentence hit you as hard as it hit me. He rose from the dead. He was crucified on good friday. Nailed to a cross, he was beaten and he bled. The son of God! The son of god was beaten and hated. The people of the town ordered him to be crucified. And he want through all of this to save a bunch of sinners. Is he a cool guy or what. So today us of the christian faith not only celebrate the candy leaving bunny, but we celebrate the fact that we are forgiven and as long as we believe, the eternal kingdom of heaven is all ours :) Theres my little serman for the day.

How was my easter spent (so far) ? Well I woke up early to get ready for church. Had breakfast and dressed up!! I mean really did it. Matching silver jewlard, a brand new dress, and heals! I was looking pretty decent if I saw so myself. My profile picture says it all! My mama and brother also dressed up. We arrived at church and we sang the song I have sung 15 times before on easter morning. Jesus Christ has risen today. That song proves that it is really easter and gets the feeling in me. The church was full because the twice a year people were there and our usual spot was taken. Everyone was looking sharp. New shoes and dresses were everywhere. Saint Margrets also got a visit from the easter bunny which was fun. After church we went home and I called my grandma. Shes doing great.

Then after making some phone calls to family we decided to go out for lunch but we coulden't think of a place. My mom was rooting for indian palace but I feel like thats where we always go when we want to eat at a restraunt. Then this comerical for chilii's came on television and Chilli's it was. It was pretty good. Then my mom had to go to work and now i'm just chilling. I read some bible yesturday night. I need to do it more often. I've read the whole childrens bible (back in second grade) but haven't read much since then. Its good for me too and not that bad. At least the book of Luke isen't. It made me think they should have a bible class at school. I know there are people of all religions but maybe they should have a class for all those. I have so much information about zeus who isen't even a real god in my head and its "wrong" to study my own at school. Oh well, thats what home is for. I hope you all have a very HAPPY EASTER! luv ya readers!

song of the day: Jesus christ has risen today

Quote of the day: Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die - John 11: 25-26

TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT = Best day of my life

Yesturday, April Second, 2010 I saw my idol and favorite singer right in front of my eyes. It was unbelieveable, undescribable, and amazing. But let me take it back a bit. Remember a long time ago when I got tickets to taylor swifts fearless tour at sprint center? Well I finally got to use my ticket. So me, akira, and my mama took of to sprint center. Only Akira and I had tickets and my mom planned on just hanging out in kansas city till it was over. When we got there, there was a TON of people. Taylor Swift sold out the sprint center after all. So we arrived right at 6 when the door open. I started by buying a taylor swift fearlesss t-shirt, and a poster that has now settled in its permenant home in my room. Then akria and I went up the gigantic escalator to our seats. Glorianna was the first opener and did a pretty decent job. I didn't know any of their songs. At the end of glorianna my mother calls me and tells me some guy just sold her flat, on the floor tickets for $35 dollars!! She had a better seat then me!! Then Kellie Pickler Performed really well. i loved listening to I wonder, Red High heels, and the best days of your life! Those are all really amazing songs.

Right after Kellie Pickler finished performing Akira and I decided to take a risk and do something bad for once. We wanted to be up close. So together we ran and snuck down to some open seats we found down close to the front! Just as we arrived to our "new" seats Taylor swift came out! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! That does not even cover it. Everyone in the whole place was screaming their heads of before she sang a note! You would too!!! It was taylor swift in all her shinning glory just a few feet from you!!! It was the best expirence i've ever had!!! She Started the show out with you belong with me and killed it. Then she sang our song and teardrops on my gutiar. After that was Tell me why and thats when the people wanted their seats. So Akira and I were trying to head back up top when Taylor Swift was about to do an outfit change. We were gettign ready to head out the door and up to our seats but the security lady would not let us go through! I just didn't understand why. We showed her our tickets and everything! Then she asked if we had a wristband.And we were like no. Guess what??? Turns out Taylor Swift was back there!!! Getting ready to suprise the audience!! She had so much love she gets out there and starts singing then takes a break to touch peoples hands, and give them hugs!!

Guess who was like 5 inches away from taylor swifts face. My mama!!! That was the section she was also in that taylor swift went out to sing from!!!!! She didn't get to touch her but it was the coolest thing ever! I was jealous. Her voice is phenomenal. Everyone who makes fun of her singing dosen't know shi*. She is the best performer I've ever seen. Way better then even alicia keys!!! I sang along to every song and danced along. It was just a great expirence. She sang all my favorite songs. Her best friend Abigail from lawrence was with her and she spent quite a lot of time on the stage. She played guitar and sang with taylor on a song. She rocked out on the violin for love story. She was also having the time of her life. Then there was this part during the show where Taylor Swift ahd just finished singing a song. And the audience was loving her. All thousands and thousands of us were screaming as loud as we could showing her the love. Taylor Swift stopped everything, took off her ear plugs and stuff and she just stopped, looked around and soaked it all in. She did this for a couple minutes with the biggest smile on her face. Then she says simple words with pure joy "Kansas City, I think I'm gonna love you forever!". It was awesome and a really moving moment!

Taylor Swift was living her dream and you could see it in her eyes and the way she was just having fun with her best friend. I don't know if i'll ever see anything that amazing again, but I'm glad I got to see this. That concert to me was living. I felt more alive then i've felt in a long time. Sitting around doing homework, chores, studying, watching tv or whatever isen't life! It reminded me that theirs a whole world out there to live in and enjoy. Even my mom said she hasen't had that much fun in forever. And she didn't even know all the songs or all the words. Every once in a while a person has to live. Do whatever it takes to feel grateful to be alive. From now on I don't think i'm gonna miss a concert. I will never forget the day I saw TAYLOR SWIFT!!!

song of the day: You belong with me - Taylor Swift

Celebritys i've seen live: Taylor Swift, Kellie Pickler, Glorianna (4 celelbs), Alicia Keys, Neyo, Jordin Sparks, and Barack Obama! (I am a very lucky girl! )