sneak peak

I thought i'd give you all a little sneak peak into my brain today. Something dumb happened, because I suck at being sneaky. I accidently deleted something important. So then my brain got freaked out about putting it there again wondering a ton of stupid things. Anyways I was super worried, if I was old my blood pressure would be up and everything. But at the end I figured out why I might be so worried.

I think I'm scared of getting what I want! It took me a life time to realize it but I think that just might be the deal here. I'm scared of actually admitting my feelings, actually being vunerable, and actually being known for what I am. I'm scared of my inner feelings being exposed to anyone. Like I was saying the last couple of days, I'm my worst enemy. The reason i'm not getting some of the things I want so much is fear. I'm scared of what will happen when everything I want is handed to me on a pretty silver platter. What then. What if I woulden't know what to do, or how to act. What would be acceptable what woulden't be. What would I wear? I have a fear of making a mistake, showing my imperfections. Thats whats standing in my way. Thats my biggest fear. I need to get over it as fast as I can because this fear is taking over me. Every day that passes i'm becoming more and more scared. I'm scared to really live.

How do I get over this? I need some help. Readers heres your chance to come to the rescue....