"When I see your face/Theres not a thing that I would change/Cause your amazing Just the way you are/& When u smile/the whole wrold stops and stares"

Hey, so I bet most of you have never heard of Paul Simon. Hes one of those old is god singers. If i'm honest with you i've never sat and listened to a whole song by him but my mom has his graceland album and so I was like wow, paul simon. the quote about music below was on the board in choir and for some reason it stuck with me. I love music, for those of you who don't know. Theres something about sitting and listening to a good song like "Just the Way you are - Bruno mars" or Hey there Delilah - plain white tees", a song spoken to the hard that makes you really feel. That makes you wish that you were the person singing it and feeling the same way that they feel. it takes you out of your own little world and into a better mroe creative enviorment where you just sing, and forget your troubles. Ofcourse my favorite are love songs, but latley i've loved any song that just makes you dance. Music dance go hand in hand. Any great entertainer, like michael jackson, or elvis knows that. Because when your body is enterprating the sound your making it has a whole different affect.

I want to be a great musician. Whats stopping me? Well for starters when I listen to work by other "normal people" on youtube and stuff I just can't take them seriously. Theres something that dosen't have the same effect on me as when I hear those proffessional songs. Someone singing Jennifer Hudsons, "and i'm telling you i'm not going" just never has the same effect as actually watching Jennifer do it. If I make music I want people to stop, listen, and feel it. And first, I have to feel it myself. I feel some of my songs more then others. Most of the time I just right songs about this ideal romance i've never even been in, so I think that you can tell i'm just singing words not feeling. And second of all, I don't have moves like M.J. I can dance, most of this modern stuff I can do but I can't come up with my own dance moves. I know what your thinking, choreographer. And your probably thinking, Jennifer Hudson only sounds good because of the editting. I don't think its true. But I might just be living in a fairytale world.

Why i'm not working harder on my music also has to do with the way I was raised. My parents taught me that math and science puts food on the table. They pushed me in the direction of becoming something that guarentees sucsess. I'm really thankful to them for that. Because singing is one in a million. You can pray as hard as you possibly can that your that one but chances are....your not. Thats when the sad music starts playing. I think some people just shine when they perform, and those are the people who make it later on. Who knows though, maybe I will break into the buisness someday. For now i'm content with just listening to an awesome song like Michael Jacksons - human nature, I don't have to make it. But I will continue to write songs because their fun. Its a ton of fun sitting there with a notebook and pen making up different lyrics and beats in your head. Don't believe me? Give it a try you might fall in love with it too.

Song of the day: Just the Way You Are - Bruno Mars (got moved up to number 2 on itunes today! Yay! I love love love love this song) Listen to this song, anyone would like it.

quotes of the day:
"I try to open up my heart as much as I can and keep a real keen eye out that I don't get sentimental. I think we're all afraid to reveal our hearts. It's not at all in fashion. " - Paul Simon

"Music is forever; music should grow and mature with you, following you right on up until you die. " - Paul Simon

celeb corner: Ok I fed y'all false information and I apolagize. Drake and Nicki Minaj are NOT married. I repeat he did not put a ring on her finger. Team Weezy just had a little publicity stunt getting buzz started about the two of them. By the way #freeweezy (not because hes that great of a musician but because hes reginaes daddy).

"I'm alone/on my own/thats all I know/I'll be strong/I'll be wrong but life goes on/I'm just a girl... Trying to find a place in this world" -T. Swift

Hi everyone! So I have a question for you today, what is the oppisite of faith in one word? Are you thinking about it? Well this morning as I was getting ready for school my mom had the t.v. on to this ministers show, Crefello dollar is his name. And he was talking about what the oppisite of faith is. The word he used was fear. It makes sense dosen't it? When you have faith the world is the limit. When you have fear something is holding you back from all the world has to offer. Everyone has fear, its a given. What makes us scared? Well for one, a lack of faith that everything happens for a reason and that we're all destined for greatness. You hear that? We are all destined for greatness. I just know it. Everyone destined for a different kind of great though. Some of us might reach a buisness level of greatness, and others might get the pure of heart level of greatness. It depends, but what I know is true about myself and probably all of you is the fact that fear holds me back from a lot of things.

I for one know that I wasen't born with fear. Fear was instilled in me by people. I believe the year was 7th grade, I was 11 years old just a girl trying to find a place in this world. Then a couple people came and decided my place for me. That place didn't happen to be reaching for the stars or destined for sucsess. They burned my light out. And the saddest part is that I let them. They told me I wasen't this and I wasen't that. And i'd never get this. The stupid mistake I made, was beliving them because of FEAR. I had FEAR that they were better then me and most of all I had a fear that what they said was true. So for years I let the fear hold me back and I found different excuses for why I wasen't out there living. But then I took some time to think about it. What exactly made me think that they were better then me? Did they have a 4.0? I dont think so. Did they have any talent whatsoever? Unless sleeping around is a talent then no. So they had no right to bring me down.

Those girls, giving people their wrong place in this world. Their wrong. Their stupid, and 50 years from now you'll be wondering why they let you feel so down. Don't wait 50 years. Don't be scared forever. Theres a life to live and if you have faith in God or faith in your destiny then nothing will stop you. You can't have both faith and fear and I think that faith is a better choice. Start living today, while life is good for you. Don't wait, don't be scared. Theres a whole world out there waiting for you to enjoy it and find yourself in it. Create your own place in this world.

song of the day: A place in the World - Taylor Swift (back from her 1st album)

quote of the day: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself

"California girls we're unforgetable/Diasy Dukes Bikini's on top/Sunkissed get so hot we'll melt your popsicle/oh oh oh oh oh"

Heyy, so summer is coming to an end for some of you readers who don't live in kansas, the weirdest school district anyways. So I figured I would list some summer awesome things (some that were stolen from People Magazing)so that we don't forget what SUMMER 2010 was like (I will get past the celeb stuff, skip past if not interested):

Song of the summer: California Girls - Katy Perry ft. Snoop dog (We all jammed out to it at least once this summer. Its a fine fresh fierce song we can sing along to with our daisy dukes and summer bikinnis on top)

The scandles: Well the number one scandale was the whole Mel Gibson phone call thing where he yelled at poor baby mama and they both eneded up looking like idiots on t.v. The second scandle was ofcourse the Lindsey Lohan going to jail drama. And teh fantasia having an affair and trying to commit suicide thing

The "it" couples of the summer: No one I personally know but T.I. and Tiny, Alicia keys and Swizz Beats, Chelsea Clinton and Jewish guy, and Megan fox and regular guy

The movie of the summer: to me was ECLIPSE or Grown ups but I think top grossing wise it was Toy story 3. Inception did pretty well too. we all love us some leo

The make up and breakup of the summer: Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston. Deep down inside we all wanted them to get a happy ending with adorable Tripp.

Break up: Jake and vienna

The weird summer accessorey was: The vuvuzella (the thing that makes the weird buzzing noise durring the world cup.

speaking of the World Cup: It happened this year in AFRICA and it was amazing! Spain won, Argentina was pretty awesome as was brazil, germany did well, but the neatherlands did even better. Lets not forget it, shakira will help with "this time for Africa"

Summer fashions:
1.Flower printed skirts, cute matching tops, jackets with a belt around and cowboy boots.
2. "Flesh colored" (if your white) dresses
3. The one shoulder look (rocked by the whole kardashian family all summer
4. Daisy Dukes, bikinni's on top for those west coasters
5. All those hott, black form fitting mini dresses (nightlife was rocking)

Accessories: Those silly bandz became popular, started be the biebs and made popular by the bieblivers (and everyone at my school)

Show of the summer: Pretty Little Liars took over the lives of many on tuesday nights

I personally had a fantastic time in both Seattle and the NorthEast! I love both areas and it reminded me that theres a big big world out there waiting to be discovered and lived in if gods willing.

The lakers won the NBA Champianship beating the celtics. That was a big moment

More basketball news: Lebron James decided to go to the Miami heats and made the biggest deal about it. It was exciting for miami though

speaking of miami: Kourtney and Khloe went back, how many people were glued to the screen through all the scott drama?? thousands

Our world: The oil spill was big news this summer and continues to be a problem. Pray/cross your fingers about it being better.

you know I coulden't just do one song right? Sorry but the hot music to go along with california girls was:
Love the way you lie - Eminem
Not Afraid- Eminem
Your love is my drug - Ke$ha
Teenage Dream- Katy Perry
Got your back - T.I.
Impossible- Shontelle
Dynamite- Taio Cruz
Yo side of the bed - Trey songz
OMG - Usher
I like it - Enrique Iglasias
Airplanes - B.o.b. ft. Hailey from Paramore
Alejandro - Lady Gaga (OH YEAH! Another highlight of my summer was going to the monster ball tour! she was awesome and I heard it live)
Nothin on you - Bruno mars and B.o.b.
BILLIONARE - Travie Mccoy (rulled my charts)
Cooler then me - Mike Posner
Your love - Nicki minaj
Mine- Taylor Swift

And thats just naming a few, music was great this summer! loved it all.

"I want to love you/P.Y.T: Pretty young thing/You need some looovin/T.L.C.: Tender love & care/And i'll take you there..." P.Y.T. - MJ

Hey!
Ok so I wanted to start today by saying that I love all of you for spending your time reading this blog. I love you all for finding my average life and increadibly weird thoughts interesting. Before I forget I also wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL JACKSON! I love him too, his music I mean. I was rockin out to it all day in honor of my mans big day. He would have been 52 I hope hes resting in peace up there with my grandparents and others that I have lost in my life.

Ok so I'm in a really good mood. For once it has nothing to do with a prince or some other boy (although just thinkking about prince makes me happy, and i've been thinking about him more and more latley but anyways...), i'm just happy because I'm happy. Life is just feeling good. Carpe Diam has become whats always in my mind. Its finally sinking in that time is moving fast and in two years i'm going to be a full grown adult paying bills, and inching closer and closer to the boring part. So I'm having fun with good friends who keep me laughing, a lot. Laugh people, its healthy for you. Honestly its good for your heart, laughing and tea. Laughing + Tea + cute boys like the characters in my book + faith in God (because he is great and opens so many doors that would be unreachable without him)+ some kind of passion (Acting, music, celebrities, watever floats your boat = HAPINESS!!!! Happy, Happy, Happy

Tonight are the emmy's and i'm actually writing this in between comericials. Steve Carell was actually REALLY snubbed because this is like the milliionth year hes been nominated but didn't win and hes quitting the office so everyone thought he'd get it. Nope, this weird guy whos always on commericials won. Best Dressed of the Night: one of my favorite celebs KIMBERLY "KIM" KARDASHIAN! She looked stunning in this white dress with an amazing swoopy necline like this dress my mama has from nordstroms (don't worry my mama's styling when it comes to evening gowns the dress was very young). She was just picture perfect in white. Yay Kim Kardashian!! Gleeks, you'd be happy because our men looked awesome! Especially the pukermen, ak.a. puk. Lea Michelle was probably second best dressed of the night, she also looked stunning. As did Quin, everyone who wore Oscar de la renta REALLY wore Oscar de la renta. I want a gown by him myself. Anyways, i need to get back to those but not without leaving you a pic of those stylish girlies.

Lea Michelle came pretty close to best dressed she looked lovley but you could tell she starved herself for the dress. She looks a lot skinnier...hmm...



Kim Kardashian #1 dressed of the night. Simply Stunning in Oscar de la Renta


Eva Longoria always rocks the red carpet. Its her Latina blood, love the black and gold



song of the day: P.Y.T. - Michael Jackson

quote of the day: "I just want a nice Arminian boy" - Kim Kardashian

"#messagetomj thank u 4 giving me and so many others inspiration and dreams. Ur the greatest that ever did it and ever will do it. Ur my hero" -Justin Bieber

I love Nicki Minaj/ I told her I'd admit it/ I hope one day we get married just to say we f---ing did it/ And girl, I'm f---ing serious/ I'm with it i

Hi Loves! OMG the celebrity world has been going crazy and i've been dying to fill all of you lovleys in. There is some big news out there. The Young Money (lil wayne) family just got a lot closer! DRAKE AND NICKI MINAJ ARE MARRIED! A lot of people are saying its a publicity stunt but I personally don't believe it. I can kind of see how they'd match. Drake is so cute, its so sad that he was on and off the market so fast. Another celebrity possability lost. But we all should have seen this coming (cough cough people magazine) because Drake has a line that says "I love Nicki Minaj/ I told her I'd admit it/ I hope one day we get married just to say we f---ing did it/ And girl, I'm f---ing serious/ I'm with it if you with it/ 'Cause your verses turn me on, and your pants are mighty fitted," . That basically says "We're getting married or marry me. Their wedding announcment went more like this:

U scurred? @drakkardnoir u ready to make the announcement or wha?" Minaj tweeted Friday afternoon. Drizzy responded about an hour later with, "Baby I am never scared. PROUD is more the word I would use," before tweeting, "Please refer to @nickiminaj as Mrs. Aubrey Drake Graham and dont stare at her too long. She's finally mine. :)."

The hip-hip diva re-tweeted Drake's missive and added, "Yes, its true. Drake and I tied the knot."

The other really big story is between Mrs. Mariah Carey Cannon and her man. Rumor has it that her ego is preggo. Now she hasen't admitted too it but she did gain some weight, and she was spotted wearing maternity clothes. Now its possible that shes not but her "close friend" said that shes just really super sticious and dosen't want to share the news until "the time feels right". It she is pregnant, congratulations mariah. If shes not well, the baby will come when the time is right. And if the time is never right then we'll just have to get over talking about how cute their little mixed child would/could be.

song of the day: Find your love - Drake (he did it? We can all do it too! Congratulations drake and nicki) & Your Love - Nicki Minaj (love this song but I can't help but think shes trying to be a black gaga)

quote of the day: Intense love does not measure, it just gives. - Mother Teresea (love this quote! btw, it was her birthday a couple days ago. This woman is truly kind hearted and its sad that shes gone. hopefully her works will inspire other people and shes resting in peace now :). Happy birthday too mother teresa)

"That should be me holding your hand/That should be me making you laugh/That should be me/this is so sad/That should be me/That should be mee"

So as most people already know, I Mariam have Bieberfever. Its not the intense kind, I survive without tweeting about him every second and kissing the t.v. screen whenever he comes by. I leave the pure devotion to other girls but I do respect his music and his absolute adorableness. But recently I gave up the fantasy of meeting Justin Bieber and him giving me the worlds most perfect kiss. Why did I give up? No I did not gain some brain cells or check into the real world but...

I have competition. No I don't the millions of 8 year old girls who scream every time they hear a meantion of Justin. I mean a women that I truley admire. One of the most fashionable women around. Jealous of her hair and would trade bodies with her in a milla second. Who's my competition? None other then Kim Kardashian. She has a crush on Justin. No joke. They did a cover of Elle magazine together. When she went on lopez tonight he asked if they may ever date. She goes..."If he was of legal age…Justin Beiber has this swag to him." haha. She loves him, she loves him, she really really loves him.

Its ok though, if he gets anyone it should be Kimberly. She's amazing and i'll get to watch it on Sunday nights at 9:00. Its cool thought because I still have my celebrity husbands, Trey Songz will always be mine, sorry kim :)

song of the day: That should be me - Justin Bieber

quote of the day:"If he was of legal age…Justin Beiber has this swag to him."

"You think i'm pretty without any make-up on/You think i'm funny when I tell the punchline wrong/I know you get me so I let my walls come down..."

"WE CAN DANCE/UNTIL WE DIE/YOU AND I WILL BE YOUNG FOREVER/YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'M LIVIN A TEENAGE DREAM/THE WAY YOU TURN ME ON/I CAN'T SLEEP/LETS RUN AWAY AND DON'T EVER LOOK BACK...."

Hey Everybody! I started in all caps because Katy Perry's album TEENAGE DREAM just came out and I'm loving my Katy Perry music. Her songs have been describing my spirit lately. In my heart I feel like I'm living a teenage dream. I'm healthy. I have the sweetest family anyone can ever imagine. My friends are to die for and we have to much fun together. I'm doing decently in school. I just knock on wood and pray to God that my life will continue to go this way. Yes, I'm missing a prince charming but i've been blessed with so many other things at this point in my life that I'm happy. We all go through different life struggles and different events but man we should live our teenage dream. Live it now, now when we're over 30 and paying taxes. Now, when life can truly be free and exciting. Don't hold yourself back for any reason, live your teenage dream.

Yesturday, I entered myself for this competition. It involved some singing and I did my best to try and win a roll in Jusin Bieber's movie. I love Justin. He's a teenager living his dream. He's a multy-million dollor sensation at only 16 years old. I still don't and never will understand all the haters he has because he has a to die for voice (better then any one i've ever heard, including the chamber choir cough cough). Anyways I auditoned not only because I like J.B. but because I feel like I should give it a try just to see what happens. Trying dosen't ever hurt. I want to be living my teenage dream and its time I step up my game and start living it.

So everyone lets run away from all the crappy teenage drama thats holding us back from reaching our dreams and NEVER look back :)

que the music: You make me feel like i'm living a TEENAGE DREAM the way you turn me on...

song of the day: Ah-obviously Teenage Dream - Katy Perry (shes so pretty, jealous)

quote of the day: I hope and pray for my big break, the day when the bits and pieces of my dreams come together to form one huge perfect reality. - Mariam Ali (a.k.a ME!)

"A dream is a wish your heart makes/When your fast asleep/In dreams you loose your heartaches/Whatever you wish for you keep/Have faith in ur dreams"

Hey everyone!
I must let you know something. I think I found a new passion of mine. I love writing. I mean ok, its obvious that I like to write because I post stuff here all the time and if I didn't like to write I wouldn't be doing this. But a different kind of writing. Remember I said I like to tell stories? Well as some of you know i've been writing a full fledged book. I've actually reached 115 pages on Microsoft word, and thats about how long a whole teenage book is. I'm really proud of my work and I think that it turned out really well. I'm pretty close to finishing off the first book, Im aiming for a series. The next step for me would be to get an agent to read it. I think i'm actually going to aim for that after months and months of editing it. All of you should keep me and my book in your prayers. Maybe you'll be seeing it in stores near you.

Do any of you have a dream? Something that you hope to accomplish in life? I think that everyone should have a dream. Weather it be as simple as taking a road trip somewhere or being an astronaut and walking on the moon. Dreams help you remember what life is all about. It gives you something to work on and something to truly show what you've done with your time on earth. Gods given each and every one of us different talents. Some of us can sing and were meant to make albums. Some of us were meant to make books. But not a single one of us were made to do nothing. Maybe you just haven't found your dream yet. But the rewards of just trying to accomplish something outnumber so many other things. So think about it, what's your dream? How close are you to reaching it? Have hope, someday your dream will come true.

Song of the day: I have a dream - Common & Just a dream - Nelly

quote of the day:

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

- Cinderella (Disney movies teach us a lot more then you would think. Cinderella taught us that an average girl can be a princess. That a girl like me and like you can have dreams and they can come true. Just because its a fairy-tale doesn't mean it dosen't happen, even if its one in a million. Maybe that one, is you.)

"This that slumdog millionare bollywood flow/Real friends never hear from me/Fake friends write the wrong answer in the mirror for me"

You know the saying you never know you have something good until its gone? It is so true. I don't why but I deal with this all the time. I meet people and they turn out to be some of the kindest hearted people and I don't see it so clearly until their gone and the chances are over. Then i'm stuck at home listening to sappy Taylor Swift songs with nothing to do about it. This is really becoming the story of my life. What to do, what to do?

You know, I think people don't follow their instincts enough anymore. Me included. Sometimes you just have a strong feeling about something and you should just go for it. Especially if the result isen't gonna end in physical pain or death. I feel like when you hold yourself back from things your missing out on half your life. There are so many oppurtunities out there that you feel like you should go for but you don't. I think maybe it pays to listen to your heart more often then you listen to your mind. Because your mind will make you scared and keep you nervous but your heart...just knows whats best. maybe not i'm just thinking out loud hear.

Our generation of teenagers have forgotten how to really have fun I think. Yes we go out and we do things but it seems like people from an earlier time period were better at it. Like not everything bored them to death and they weren't texting about absolutley nothing 24/7. Theres this list that came out about the freshaman going into college this year and somet things you woulden't think about them. Like theres certain gestures that a majority of them don't know. What they considered "new music" at a certain age is now on the oldie section. If your bored check out the list.

song of the day: Right Above it - Lil Wayne ft. Drake (ok I know most of the words to this song are absolutley nasty but I really like the beat in the background. plus drakes cute :] )

Quote of the day: Familiar acts are beautiful through love

"When you smile the whole world stops and stares for awhile/Cause your amazing/JUST THE WAY YOU ARE...."

Hey!
So I guess latley it seems like every day I discover something new about myself. I'm not exactly trying to "discover myself" I just am. I've always been a talker, but only if I know you really well. If I don't know you i'll probably be dead silent, although thats changing. But along with the silence I always listened, and caught different things. And then I would tell someone else all these little things. I like to story tell, thats part of the reason I like this blog because I get to tell my story. It may be to one person or no people but I get to put my story out there. I'd like to think that someone can find something extrodinary out of my ordinary life just like I can do with theirs.

This weekend has been fabulous. It started with a good friday night. I went out with some my favorite people; the besties to see Eat Pray Love. I really enjoyed it. It was a pretty good movie but it was kind of long so I got a bit bored after awhile. But overall I give an A because it left me feeling good, and gave me a enw perspective about life. It was about really living. Doing what you want and pleasing yourself in an unimaginable way. I think you all should go see it.

On saturday I slept in, which felt amazing. Then I woke up had breakfast and headed to the part to meet the same friends from the movie. We were planning to play soccer together...it didn't work out quite well but we ended up spending most of the day downtown. I came home and started getting ready for teh dance. I was in l-o-v-e with my outfit. I straightened my hair and felt pretty cute and confident. The dance was a ton of fun, I spent most of the night well dancing. It was good times. Just a little bit of drama but not enough to ruin my expirence.

Then this morning I woke up feeling nervous & shaky. Somewhere deep inside I knew what that meant.....:)

song of the day: Just the way you are - Bruno mars (Did I meantion that I am madly deeply passionatly in love with this song?!?! AHH, its too awesome. Its one of the sweetest songs in the whole world and whoever it was written for should feel like a queen. I <3 Bruno Mars! )

quote of the day: A single question can be more influential than a thousand statements

"Flash forward & we're taking on the world together/& theres a drawer of my things at your place/You learn my secrets to figure out why I'm gaurded"

Hello Hello, I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello!

So I don't want to sound too repetitive but i'm just dissapointed in what i've been seeing latley. I feel like I want to talk about it to someone but no one else sees it. No one else is noticing whats happening to life as we knew it. School for instance, today we had an assembly. It involved some of the "popular/well liked people" getting on stage and doing the stinky leg, and the dougie. All that different stuff trying to promote the dances. No one goes to the dances not because they all don't like dancing but because they "have better things to do with a friday night". Where do you find them all on friday nights? Facebook. All a million and one of them are on there. So their "better things to do" is be on facebook becasue they don't want to go based on what people will think of them.

What people think of other people has become such a big deal in our generation. It feels like barley anybody is themselves anymore. We're all like a cloned version with the same electronics, clothes, attitudes, and word choices. Why? I don't know. Maybe thats how all teenagers were throughout generations but I feel like Freestate has hit an extreme. Uniqness is so awfully frowned upon. Today this girl at our table at lunch wore this button down jeans shirt, this other girl gets on her phone and shoes a picture of justin timberlake wearing a similar shirt like 2001. Meaning that the girls shirt is old, and manly. The girl dosen't say anything but later she tells me that it kind of hurt. That other girl didn't even care how her fellow human being would feel. Things like that are always going down at freestate.

Theres this girl whos really just a bit awkard, and unique. People are always blabbing on and on about her. It makes me wonder, what makes them think their any better then her. And how do they know that they won't be her at some point in their lives. But the negative thinking just rubs off on you subconciously. Now whenever i'm around the girl I think of all the other girls laughing at her during lunch and stuff and wondering if I'm with her for sympathy or weather or not what their saying is true. I Think people should give other people a chance to judge people for themselves. Its not fair to call the water blue before someone else has the chance to see it as aqua. Does that make any sense? I know that all people think bad things about other people but its best that some thoughts are kept to ones self.

song of the day: Mine - Taylor Swift (come on, just go listen to it already. Its too awesome!)

quote of the day: Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Whats wrong with the world/people livin like they aint got mamas/I think the world addicted 2 all the drama/Only attracted 2 things that cause trauma

Hey again!
Remember when I told you the world outlook was kind of greatly changing? I saw the saddest story on the news today. It was actually on Kansas City news, sorry kansas city readers but one of your neighbors messed up big time. The police went into the home of a woman and up in her attack was a 6 your old boy. This six year old boy was covered in his own waste, weighed the size of a toddler, and seemed to have been up in that attack for possibly months! Can you believe someone would do that to their own child? The child they concieved and carried for nine months just to drop in an attack. Isen't that the most terrible thing you've ever heard? Its suspected that the son had down syndrom and that may be part of the reason he coulden't speak up and wasen't discovered sooner. Its so sad, keep that little boy in your prayers.

Then I saw this awful story about this other monster who murdered her two children, got away with it, only to later turn herself into the police. It really wasen't the normal situation because she really had no reason for doing this, she "just did!". What kind of people do we live with. This woman could be your neighbor, your friend and you woulden't even suspect in the current world we live in that the women was crazy because most people are these days!

What is it that makes it ok for people to do things like that? It gives me shivers down my spine. What can make a person do such horrible things? I know they say its normally people who were "abused" as children, or got made fun of. But that is so minor compared to taking away someones life. If any of you find yourselves thinking thoughts like that, think of this. Every life is important. You never know what child is gonna grow up to cure cancer, or become president. Who are you to stand in their way? No one stood in yours, what you become is up to you. So if you feel like you really can't take care of your kids I assure you someone out there will. We live in America! Adoption and foster home systems are pretty decent. If you hear anyone with those kind of plans my advice to you is this: 9-1-1 (use those texting powers and type fast!)

song of the day: Where is the love - Black eyed peas (I use this alot because it really applys to this kind of blog about whats happening to the world)

quote of the day: If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love. - One of my favorite celebrities of all time: Princess Diana

"I was thinkin bout her/Thinkin bout me/Thinkin about us/what we gonna be/Open my eyes, yeah/It was only just a dream..." - Nelly (hes back!)

Hello world!
Hows it going? Things are going well for me, except for the fact I feel like I haven't been blogging as much latley! That is gonna have to change because I feel like I have quite a bit to say today. You know what bothers me? "Me too" people. Are you thinking, what exactly is a "me too" person? Am I one? Well I'll explain. Me too people are people who basically try and be exact copies of others. Whenever they say something their like "me too". And I'm not saying that its bad to agree people. That is completly the oppisite of what a "me too" person is. Me too people agree with everything weather they agree or not. At the end of the day their personality matches that of whom their copying. I notice this so much at school now. Its kind of sad. Today I was in a class and someone goes, "what religion are you?" and then the girl says some big word that means as they put it "I don't care enough to have an official religion". Then that girl says those horid words "me too". I'm the same as you. But the girl happens to used to go to church, i'm not saying that makes her a christian but its exhibit A of the me too thing. Shes made herself an exact copy of the other girl in every way.

So what do you call this? Does that mean the person is insecure? I'm not exactly sure. But what I do know is that the person their copying dosen't normally realize that their having that kind of effect on the other person. They just think wow, we gotta be soul mates or something. We agree on everything. Next time your at school or some kind of public place, sit back and observe. Pay attention to yourself as well. Are you a me too person? Do you think its a bad or a good thing? Just think about it.

song of the day: Just a Dream - Nelly (ITS BRAND NEW AND AMAZING! LISTEN TO IT =] )

quote of the day: He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life. - Mohammed Ali

"Sing we together all day long/Now sing we all this joyful song/Now desending never ending all day long" -choir (heard it a million times today!)

Hey!
Today I had a really good time. As you can probably guess it wasen't at school. I had a great time downtown with some friends. The truth is that I needed that trip. I escape from my own life a little too much and sometimes I forget how nice it is to have friends and just talk. I love to talk but sometimes I feel like this is the only place where I can really talk. I think thats part of the reason I want a bf sometimes, I just want some to talk too who will listen. I forget that friends can do that too!

Our group of friends is changing a little. People are making friends outside the group and kind of bringing them in. Their all nice people I just started noticing that I don't like the other group all that much. So then I used them as an excuse to kind of escape again. Its all so weird. All I do know is that it would be cool to do more stuff with people. Its not like i'm a total loser who never leaves the house but it has been awhile since I had a good conversation with something.

I also think my friends are starting to forget that we actually like each other, if that makes any sense. I think we all do its just that its been awhile since every single one of us did something together. Hopefully it happens soon! I'm in a good mood now.

song of the day: E.T. - Katy Perry and Right about it - Lil wayne ft. Drake (Both of these songs JUST came out and already topping the charts)

quote of the day: Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, and somewhere in the middle we became the best of friends. ~Author Unknown

"Cause Baby Tonight/The DJ got us fallin in love again/So dance dance like its the last last night of your life life/Gonna get you right" - Usher

Hi dolls!
Hows life? I think my life is good. I feel good right now. Not for any secretive reasons, or because I Bought something but just because. I like feeling like this. Its good stuff. Anyways, today I had some writers block. I wanted to write a song, very similar to Taylor Swifts I'd Lie, lyrics wise, but it just wasn't coming to me. I wonder what it means. I hope the block doesn't last for too long. Maybe part of the reason I feel so good today is because we went to church and we sang create in me a clean heart, I like that hymn. That must be it.

In school these first couple days we've been talking about Puritans in both history and english. In english, while discussing the puritans she decided to ask all about our faith and what faith is to us. My mind works in exacts so I automatically started thinking of a way to describe faith. I came up with: Faith is a belief in a person, situation, or being. I came up with this because I know you can say "I have faith in you (faith in a person). And then you can say, "I have faith that it will all work out (faith in a situation)". and last but not lease you can say "I have faith in God" (faith in a being). Anyways we all had to make a list of the things we had faith in.
My list looked like this:

I have faith in god/Christianity
I have faith in my family and friends
I have faith in Karma
I have faith that all people have some kind of good inside of them
I have faith that education is the way to power
I have faith that everything happens for a reason

that was all I had. I just now remembered that I had faith that true love conquers all, and that retail therapy truly works; but those are both things I wouldn't have written in school anyways. I was kind of disappointed in how little the list was. It made start to wonder if it was a good or a bad thing to only have " faith" in such few things. But then as I continues to look at my list I realized that a better word for some of those things were I believe in... Are faith and belief the same thing? I kind of don't think so. Believe dosen't sound like as strong as a word as faith. In my mind people BELIEVE in the tooth fairy, and have FAITH in god. I guess faith is reserved for more serious things to me. What do you think? Do they all mean the same thing? I think you all should make a list of what YOU have faith in and see if anything on there changes over time.

song of the day: DJ got us falling in love again

quote of the day:We are searching, trying to find something which makes us tickle, makes us laugh, gives us memories, makes us great. Most search for it and never find, others are born with yet never use it, only a few find it and make use of it. Those who do, will be remembered forever.

Mariam is listening too "You made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter/ You are the best thing thats ever been mine..."

So as you all know music is a bit of a passion of mine :) I listen to music throughout most of my day, if things are going good. Its been awhile since I shared what I was listening too with you guys but I figured better late then never.

1. Mine - Taylor Swift (Absolutely adore that song, Taylor Swift gets better and better every album)

2.Waka Waka (This Time for Africa)- Shakira. (Shakira did a fantastic job on this song and I just can't get enough of the African beats in the background)

3. Teenage Dream - Katy Perry (I've listened to this song a million times in a row enjoying each time, enough said)

4. Dynamite - Taio Cruz

5. Love the way you lie - Eminem (I especially like Rihanna's part)

6. DJ got us Fallin in love - Usher

7. Riding Solo - Jason Derulo (I discovered that song way before it was popular: check previous blogs)

8. Billionare - Travie McCoy (did anyone see him perform at the Teen Choice Awards? It was too good)

9. Your side of the Bed - Trey Songz (slow jamz!)

10. Impossible - Shontelle (I will never get tired of that song, I kinda want to sing it for Encore)

11. God bless the broken road - Rascal Flatts (what can I say? the song is fantastic)

12. Got you Back - T.I. ft. Keri Hilson (OMG! I LOVE THAT SONG AND I LOVE T.I, because he's awesome to write that song for tiny! )

13. Waavin the flag - Ka'aan (It makes me smile)

Those are just a few of the songs I've been enjoying latley! Hope they bring joy to you too!

First Day of School

Today was my first day of Junior year. Last night I did my nails, straightened my hair, and was all ready to go to school fearless style. I felt good, the alarm rang at 5:30 a.m. and I started missing summer. But anyways I got ready more and then I was off into the car to drive MYSELF to school. I was so nervous, I'm not gonna lie to you readers. It was my first time driving by myself. It went well though! I got to school in one piece. When I got there I found my friends and caught up with them for awhile. I went through my schedule and before I knew it the day was over. All that fear I had about the school day was all for nothing.

I'm not sure what my favorite class was yet but I had a friend in every class except for physics. I was glad that friendships don't get weird if you haven't talked at all over the summer. Everyone was nice and super dressed up of course. But it felt good to be back in school, getting in the hang of things. My teachers were all pretty cool except for my Adv. physics teacher who was a little weird, but we're all unique. Theres nothing wrong with that. I actually felt fearless. During the get to know you games I wasen't as scared as I normally would have been. In choir we did this weird name game which was embarassing yes, but I participated and didn't speak too quietly. I had a new sense of confidence, it may just be a little confidence but its there.

I'll keep you updated on how school continues to go! Oh and before I forget, don't you want to know what I wore. I wore my jeans capri's that are just a little bit fashionable faded and cuffed, then on top I wore a black undershirt and this purple tank top with a braided strap, and a lacy back. I think I looked pretty good if I say so myself :)

song of the day: Just the way you are - Bruno mars

quote of the day:sometimes in order to not fall apart,
you have to let go of what keeps you together

"I can't wait to fall in love with you/You can't wait to fall in love with me/ This just can't be summer love...." - Justin Timberlake

Summer 2010 has been amazing. One of the best summers of my life. I was in 11 different states: New York (2 days), Pennsylvania (1 dat), Maryland (multiple days), New Jersey (2 days), Illinois (2-3 hours), Washington (10 days), Oregan (2 days), California (2 hours), Colorado (1 hour), Kansas (most of the summer),and Missouri (maybe about 20 hours) and each and every one of them now has a special place in my heart. I got to see some of the people I love the most, my family and my best friends.

I got pretty far in my musical life. Getting a little bit better at the guitar, and a lot better at the piano. I recorded my first official song. I proved that I was independent enough to fly half way across the country by myself.

I made a lot of self discoveries and figured out where I am in life and where I want to go. I took some risks, and chickened out on some things.

I was part of a couple of things that benefitted other people, had an opportunity to give back a little bit.

I also spent way too much time of facebook and twitter :/

I really lived. I have close to no regrets for this summer. I'm blessed to have had such a great 2 and 1/2 months. I hope the year continues this well.

Keep you fingers crossed for me going back to school today.

song of the day: Summer Love - Justin Timberake, Summertime- Will Smith, Summer girls - LFO

Kardashian moment of the day: "you can lead a horse to water but the pencil must be lead" - Khloe Kardashian

The book Kardashian Konfidential is coming out soon. I'm defiantly buying that one!

sneak peak

I thought i'd give you all a little sneak peak into my brain today. Something dumb happened, because I suck at being sneaky. I accidently deleted something important. So then my brain got freaked out about putting it there again wondering a ton of stupid things. Anyways I was super worried, if I was old my blood pressure would be up and everything. But at the end I figured out why I might be so worried.

I think I'm scared of getting what I want! It took me a life time to realize it but I think that just might be the deal here. I'm scared of actually admitting my feelings, actually being vunerable, and actually being known for what I am. I'm scared of my inner feelings being exposed to anyone. Like I was saying the last couple of days, I'm my worst enemy. The reason i'm not getting some of the things I want so much is fear. I'm scared of what will happen when everything I want is handed to me on a pretty silver platter. What then. What if I woulden't know what to do, or how to act. What would be acceptable what woulden't be. What would I wear? I have a fear of making a mistake, showing my imperfections. Thats whats standing in my way. Thats my biggest fear. I need to get over it as fast as I can because this fear is taking over me. Every day that passes i'm becoming more and more scared. I'm scared to really live.

How do I get over this? I need some help. Readers heres your chance to come to the rescue....

"Todays you day I feel it/You paved the way/believe it/If you get down get up oh oh..." - waka waka

The lyrics above are to a song I absolutley love. It's called Waka Waka (This time for Africa) by Shakira. I love that song! It makes me feel good. I especially love theAfrican beats it has, it just makes you want to dance. I'm hoping someday I'll succeed in writing a feel good song like that.

So guess what? I'm still in a dusty corner... (refer to a couple blogs back). My horescope was telling me that yesturday would be an amazing day for me if I just spoke from my heart and I didn't do it. For the record I considered it then chickened out. I think part of the reason I chickened out is because I'm not fearless yet. I was scared. Scared if rejection and embarassment. I really am my worst enemy. I get worried too much about peoples opinions. Yesturday I did something I do all the time and suddenly my heart was racing with fear that it didn't make sense. I calmed myself down but it's stupid that I wasted a precious moment of my time worrying about doing something I wanted to do.

I'm trying to change and become less worried about things like that. It's getting better but I'm not there. I'm discovering myself one step at a time. I've come a long way if you look at some of these old blogs. I'm just not fully there yet. I'll get to fearless just not there yet. I believe in me because if I don't who will?

Song of the day: waka waka (this time for Africa) - shakira

quote of the day: reach for the moon, If you miss you may hit a star

Where has all the hope gone?

In my 15 years of living I've learned a lot about the world. Not nessesarily just the geography part of it but the people and things that in habit it too. Lately I've been noticing a change in my fellow human beings. I've noticed that the hope and posativity are gone. It's terrible. I understand that it's a time of economic depression and everything but that's really no excuse. Lately when you walk into a store you see more people frowning then smiling. When you hear people discuss the war in Iraq or any matter of politics in general nobody has the slightest hope for sucsess. Their ready for peace in Iraq to fail, for the president to fail etc... I don't understand where all the hope went. I'm thinking it started with one negative person who managed to rub of on so many other people.

I personally believe that having hope and faith is what makes life worth living. Without believing in anything what exactly are you doing? People who are so sure everything will fail must have nothing to do. Why try anything if there's the possibility to fail right? That's wrong, even math will tell you that lifes a 50/50 thing. Some things will fail and others will prevail. You never will know if you go into everything with a negative outlook.

I really hope that positivity and hope will come back soon. I miss it. This world is a very sad place without it.

Song of the day: Forrest Gump main theme

quote of the day: Life is like a box of choclates, you never know what your gonna get

"Every long lost dream led me to where you are/Otheres who broke my heart/They were like northern stars/Pointing me on my way into your loving arms.."

That is one of the most beautiful duets I have ever heard. The title I mean. Its from the song God bless the broken road. I love that song, I've been listening to it more and more often latley.

I'm trying to figure myself out. But theres a feeling I can't get past. A feeling that gets stronger and stronger every day. The last few days someone has been constantly on my mind. I know i'm a teenager with hormones or whatever but this is different. I feel it all the way from my head to my toes, and mostly in my heart. I've always been a believer that people should follow their hearts no matter what. And i've watched it work out for so many people. Why can't I just do it, admit my feelings somewhere thats not this blog. I'm lost

My horescope has been telling me all week that now is the time to just do what I feel. Todays effected me the most though, it said "you must either move into the unknown concerning a certain relationship, which will bring many changes, or stay put in your dry dusty little corner". I don't want to stay put in a dusty little corner! But i'm scared of the unknown. I'm scared of rejection. Maybe my whole life or roughly the last 5-6 years i've been stuck in a dusty little corner when the castle is only a few miles away. What am I doing in this corner?

Its like a butterfly stuck in a stupid crystilas, holding back on something good. If I just opened up and spread my wings or tried soemthing new i'd be soaring. Its a sad feeling knowning that I am my worst enemy. I'm the one possibly holding myself back from something fantastic. All it would take is 3 words, maybe even less but I can't get myself to say them. The one thing I have figured out is who its directed too. Thats not changing anytime soon.

I'm tired of this corner. I need to get out. I need to admit my feelings once and for all. I need answers and I need to know. Because i'm about to explode.

song of the day: God bless the broken road

quote of the day:

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

-Another little clip from god bless the broken road by Carrie underwood and the Rascal Flatts

Fearless

I'm tired of hiding behind people, excuses, and different things. I want to be fearless. And I want to be able to say everything that I feel. I want to write the perfect song thats not based on something fictional but on something real. We'll see how it works out, but for now I'm courage gaining. But there is absolutely no way i'm going to keep on hiding. What's the point? I have a whole life to live and it starts now. This is the beginning of the building of a new FEARLESS Mariam.

Lyrics to fearless by taylor swift:

And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress
Fearless

?

Have you ever known that something was right? Weather it be an answer on a test, the outfit your wearing, the town you live in. The feeling of knowing that something is just right. If its an outfit it fits you like a glove. And I'm not talking about one size fits all, I'm talking about it was basically made for you. I have feelings like that sometimes. Especially about certain things and people. I get the feeling that things are just ok when I'm around them? Is that weird? Some would say that its just a psychological thing but I personally know that its something stronger then that. Because there are ways that I only feel around a certain person, or when doing something. Like writing a song, singing, or having a conversation with special people.

So what do you guys do when you feel just right? I try to think of ways to keep that feeling around as often as possible because its a good feeling. The feeling that everything's in place the way it should be. I'm lost but i'm trying to find the secret to happiness. The secret to make the feeling last. I think I'm figuring it out little by little. Everything i'm figuring out is leading me in the same direction. I'd have to be an idiot to go the other way wouldn't I? I'm definatly going to follow the yellow brick road straight to where I belong

"I used to think baby you loved me now baby i'm sure/And I just can't wait till the day when you knock on my door" - Walking on sunshine

Dear blog,
I'm happy. From the inside out. I wish I could be this happy all the time and with hope this is the beginning of a new 100% all the time happier me. You know, some people don't understand the importance of words. Words can touch or move a person in an unimaginable way. Little actions that you think would mean nothing to someone could change their whole world. People have a kind of power that most are unaware they have. The power to really make a difference to someone else. You can really have an effect on whoever it is. Like today for example, Someone said something that should have been no big deal but it made me so happy I could have screamed. Its weird how the world works.

For some reason I'm finding it hard to write about something on here. I don't know why because i've written so many different times about so many different things but what my mind is really thinking has become difficult to write on here. Its almost like I feel if I write it down or say it out loud it will curse the situation or make it become less real. Thats how I feel about a lot of things lately. I really need to get back in the groove of this whole blogging thing. But what you need to know about my current situation is that I am happy. I'm happy and praying that things continue to go well :)

song of the day: Walking on sunshine - Aly & AJ

quote of the day: Believe in yourself and know that you are. Know that there is something inside of you that is greater then any obstacle.

" Do you remember we were sitting there by the water/U put your arm arm around me for the 1st time/u made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter"

The lyrics of the day are from MINE by Taylor Swift. The single for her new album Speak now coming out October 25th came out 2 days ago. I was one of the first to know because I'm in the fan club and got a text about it. I love the song. What comes after the part that I posted is "You are the best thing thats ever been mine...". I love her music. She also made number one on itunes overnight. Thats a miracle in itself.

This blog is weird, i've this is my third time typing this but i'm not so sure what i'm going to write about. This is one of those days where i'm thinking about so many things at once, i'm so mixed up I don't even know what to type. So what do I usually do on these kind of days? CELEBRITY NEWS!

Over the last weekend there were three very important celebrity weddings. Lets start with the one that got the most publicity, Chelsey Clinton weds jewish guy (not to be prejudice but does anyone really know his name? no, we just all know he's jewish). Its rumored that Chelsea's parents spent 3 million dollars on the wedding but those who attended say thats outrageous. It was more in the 6 digits. She wore two Vera Wang gowns and the first dance was spectacular. It was choreographed by this dude from dancing with the stars. Heres a pic from the wedding...



The second wedding was of one of my favorite singers Alicia keys. They were married by Michael Jackson's close friend Depak Chopra, meaning the service was nondenominational.She got Married to Swiz Beats this weekend and only one photo was released to the public.It was a gourgeous shot that looked like this....



The last wedding was of a couple I really love. T.I. and Tameka "Tiny" Cottle. They are the most perfect couple. In honor of their union i'll write some lyrics from the AMAZING song: Got your back that I assume is about Tiny since she made an appearance in the video.

"Hey it’s whatever shawty
you aint gotta ask
yes Valentino blouses, summer houses, cash, check!
you can get it you deserve it, flawless diamonds, Louie purses,
my mission’s to purchase Earth for her
present the gifts without the curse
her pleasure is my purpose
pleasure to be at your service
front row at fashion shows as well as Sunday morning service
but better days or for worse"

Also from the song:
"This is for the women..stayed home waiting on the phone
and on visit day show up looking good smelling better, playing kissy face
just wanna let you know we appreciate
everything you do for us on a day to day
and I know we don’t show you all the time but we lucky that you ours
no bouquet of flowers could ever show how much we know we need you
we do all thats in our power just to please you"

All I need to say about all these couples is AWWWW

song of the day: Mine- Taylor Swift

quote of the day: the ones above

"You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream/the way u turn me on/I can't sleep/Lets run away & don't ever look back/don't ever look back"

I woke up this morning, and had this really good feeling about my day. I haven't had that kind of feeling since like, April. At first I was worried, but then I realized it's got to be my womens intuition. So, I went on with my day as usual, but parked perfectly 3 times (huge acomplishment for me). I figured that that must be the good thing. The feeling didn't go away and my day continued to go on greater and greater. I'm happy. Every inch of me is. I hope it will last. But for me with hapiness comes confusion. Intense confusion.

My horescope today predicted the good day and said I should take advantage of my luck and say what I need to say. I can think of a few messages that I need to get out and I'm thinking before the day is over i should. Who knows how long it will be before things go this good for me again. I hope not too long passes.

For the record, I love the song Teenage Dream by Katy Perry. It inspires me to "take a chance and never look back". I've taken many chances that have taken me nowhere and some that have given me some happy moments. So maybe its worth a little sadness, confusion, and disappointment to be trying to reach something great.

Song of the day: Teenage dream - Katy Perry

quote of the day: Live.Laugh.LOVE

Over and Over Again

One of the most meaningful things I did in Seattle was record a song my new producer Jae (pronounced jay) who works and owns Most Wanted Entertainment. I'm pretty lucky I got to record the song for free because I've known Jae my whole life, since he's my uncle. Anyways, while I was in seattle I went to his house one evening and we started the project.

At first he was doing all the hard work. He started putting down the rythem, the beat, the different instruments, and the key. My job was to get my vision across to him. Piano helped me a lot in the song making because once I knew the 4 main chords the song started flowing.

The last thing was of course recording. The second part of the first verse was the hardest to get right but I like how it turned out. Much thanks to Much Wanted Entertainment, I LOVE the song and hope its the first of many. Tell me what you think readers....

Seattle: a magical place (part 3)

I promise i'll talk more about the song later (referring to an earlier post) but i'm going to continue on with the seattle stories.

As my trip was coming to an end, my cousin and my aunt came to visit Seattle from london. Their still in Seattle right now actually. So we were invited to a BBQ to welcome them and me (kinda). This barbaque was at my dads cousins house. So we went and had african food. It was yum. Then I got to spend some time with my cousin Margret; shes only a year younger then me. We really hit it off this time. She watches all the same shows as I do and we were very similar. We had never gotten along the other times we met because we were both SUPER shy so talking was not even an option. But this time we did and I'm glad I got to know her better.

After that lunch I went to my auntie Samia's house again to spend the next two days there. They were gettting ready for Zanzibar Day which was a fundraiser to be held in Bellvue at a part for a library in Zanzibar. They only have one library in the city center and the people in shamba don't have one so this was for them. They were going to be selling African food and invited as many people as possible. The getting ready mostly involved cooking so that was what was being done. So I spent the night there.

I woke up in the morning had breakfast and everything then people started arriving to help with Zanzibar Day. I got dressed and ready in jeans and a tank top. The weather in Seattle was perfect. No to hot, not to cold. It was in the 70s most of the time and it always had a little breeze. Perfection. So after I got dressed I tried to help in whatever way I can. There was this somalian girl whos name was Mariam there. She was hilarious. She was only like 6 but she had the confidence of a 21 year old. So I was kind of looking over the little ones. I then left with my aunt Lina to get something from the store (walgreens, suprise suprise). Then when we got back I was doing something that involved money and got a little pen on my shirt. I then changed into my dress and i'm glad I wore that.

As soon as I was done getting dressed my aunt asked me and this guy named hassan to go to the park first and stay there until everyone else got there. Do you smell as set up? hmm. Anyways we were there and only one person came on time anyways. We helped move things and set up a little bit. I also met my future aunt (or so she says) Deedra. She was really nice. The funny thing is shes not dating my uncle anymore but you know two people in love can't stay apart. Their bound to end up together someday. The fundraiser was a lot of fun, I got to see a lot of people I haven't seen in a long time. It was all in all a sucsess. I'm not allowed to say how much was made but it was a LOT! Not enough for a library but a very good start. :)

Sunday I went to my aunts house and finished a project I was working on. Then just kind of hung out there packing and such. It was my last day. I flew back early monday morning. Its good to be home but I miss seattle a little bit. I like it there. It may just be the place for me when I grow up. But i'm not sure. Still exploring the world...

song of the day: Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

quote of the day:"The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in."

Stories from seattle part 2

So after Oregan I spent a couple days just around the house relaxing and exploring the area by where my aunt Tina lives. I had a sleepover at my moms best friend Samia's house. That was fun because we listened to music and I got to hang out with Aidah and Abdul Wahab. Their about my brothers age and I just played games and such with them.

A little after Oregan my Uncle Jay had a barbaque. It was fun. He has a really nice place. I started off the day watching Hotel Ruwanda (amazing movie), and then I watched the movie my Uncle acted in called Wahala in America. It was also a good one but I never got the chance to finish it. Anyways all my aunts and uncles and my little cousins were together the day of the barbaque. After the lunch I went to the fair with my aunt Fathia and Tina. It was a lot of fun, we looked at some jewlary.

In the mornings me and my grandma became walgreens regulars always doing somehting picture related. And then we would walk to michaels or some other nearby store after walgreens.

After the bbq I went to the space needle which I already wrote about, That was one of the best things I did out of the whole trip.

The day after the space needle, me, my grandma, and my aunt went to the African American history museum. It was fun, they had an ethipoia exhibit there. I learned a lot and it was actually pretty cool. Then after that we hit the mall! Their mall was amazing! It was bigger then Oak Park mall and they had so many cool stores. I ofcourse have always loved H&M (which they had) but I discovered a store called Love Culture which I adored too. The best part was everything I got from the mall was a gift :)

After the mall my Uncle and I went to his house to hang out and just talk and then after that we went to see Grown Ups. That movie was really funny! I actually liked it. It had Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, David Spade, and Salma Hayek in it. It was pretty funny.

The day after that it was just me, my grandma and walgreens in the morning then towards the evening my uncle came to pick me up again and we went to walk around this pretty lake and I recorded a song (more information on that coming up...)

song of the day: Waka Waka (This time for Africa) by Shakira : I adore that song. The african beats are good and I just like it. It makes me happy.

quote of the day: Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?

"We are family/I got all my sisters with me/We are family/Get up everybody and sing"

Hello lovleys!
So as you all know I am now falling back into the routine of my regular lifestyle but I haven't even begun to tell you about my trip to seattle. Unlike I did for the northeast I think i'm going to tell you week by week. Here it goes...

The first day I left the airport in KC pretty early. I was really scared about leaving home and I was going to miss my family and everything. I got on the plane and fell right asleep. Next thing I know i'm in San Francisco airport. I bought some lunch and then I waited for my plane. When I landed in seattle, got on the trains to get my bag and succeeded without a hitch I felt like singing Mama i'm a big girl now, from hairspray. anyways so i'm all ready, then I began to look for my Uncle. I coulden't find him anywhere so I decided to go outside and wait. Guess who didn't show up for an hour? I was in contact with my mom and she was telling me to just call my aunt so I did and she came to pick me up. It was fine, the thing with my uncle was an accident.

So I arrived at the house and the next day my aunt Lina took me and my grandmother to downtown seattle to go to Pikes Market. Pikes was pretty cool. They are famous for throwing fish (its in sleepless in seattle) so I took a picture there. They also had a lot of cool handmade items, and organic things. After that we went back to my aunts house and then to my other aunts house.

The next day we started early with Auntie Lina. We went to pioneer square which was cool. Like a little shopping area, most of the shops were antique or artistic. After that we went to Pikes Market again to explore the little areas we didn't see the day before.

The third day me, my grandma, Auntie Lina, and Uncle Jae went to Oregan. My grandma had a meeting (more about that later). Oregan was about 4 hours away I think, it was pretty ok there. The town that I went to sight see the first day was....bleh. Alsea, it was a smaller town then lawrence. Its where they grow christmas trees. Then we went to this dinner called Darells. It was a senior citizen hang out. The waitress was a little weird too. She was talking really slow and loud. It was hilarious. She later told us that she was bipolar....I felt bad for laughing inside. Then me and my grandma stayed in a motel...yes a motel...the horrer film small town kind. But we both survived, thank god!

The next day we were off to Portland. We started with the worlds quickest shopping trip then we rushed to the meeting. dun dun duuun. The meeting took place with my grandma and this guy she met on the internet about building a school for her church in africa. The guy supposedly worked with architects without borders. I personally believed he was going to be a weirdo, the serial killer type. The 30 minutes it was supposed to take us to get there turned out to be, 2 whole hours. We got so so lost. The directions didn't help at all. We later found out that my grandmas blackberry had a GPS on it so that brought us all the way to the house.

We all got out of the car to meet the weirdo, just in case we'll have to identify him in court later. My grandma went in and then one hour became two hours which became three hours. My uncle Jay was saying that we have to go in, it was funny he said, "that guy could be barbaquing my mother right about now". So me and him went up to the door and I was peeking inside to see if I could see anyone. It was Dead. Silent. Turns out the weirdo saw us coming. He opened the door before we could even knock and grandma was ok. They told us we should go off and visit this college.

We drove to the college. I didn't like it, it was too small for my taste. I enjoyed that because me and Uncle Jay walked around and he told me all kinds of stories. I like stories a lot. So we were cracking up and in about 2 hours I got his whole life story. It was cool because I got to know a lot more about him and he was open to talking about anything. I like the fact he dosen't treat me like a baby and realizes you understand a lot from high school expirence. Anyways after that we went to pick up my grandma and were on the road again to seattle. It was a long drive filled with heavy discussion.

Seattle trip in detail...to be continued

song of the day: We are family

quote of the day: The less you know, the more you believe. - bono

"Celebrate good times come on"

Hey! I'm back home and it feels good but i'm missing seattle a little bit right about now. I had a really good time with family. Their the most important and they were all so fun to be around. I'll talk more about that later but theres something important I learned from seattle I think I need to share. Here it goes...

So the first week when I went to seattle I went to sleepover at my auntie s.'s home and she had a video of when they were young playing at someones 21st birthday. My dad was in it and they were all pretty young. They were having so much fun. It had nothing to do with the drinking, it was an african 21st birthday. But it had everything to do with people just dancing and letting loose. It reminded me how important it is. To just let loose and have a good time. To laugh and really mean it. I laughed through so much of my trip, my heart feels good.

I learned that a person is only young once and the youth should be enjoyed. I spend a little too much time being nearvous about what certain people think but i'm done with that. Or i'm going to try to be. This is my youth and it will be youth wasted if i'm fully enjoying it. Forgetting what everyone thinks and just having a good time.

Now is the time for those short skirts, crazy hair styles, and embarassing dance moves. Its the time to really enjoy our youth and i'm going to do it. I'm glad I got that lesson out of seattle. Really really glad.

song of the day: Celebrate

quote of the day: Your only young once