"Don't know if Snow Whites house is near or far away, but I know I had the best day with you...today"

Today was one of those genuinely good days. I woke up pretty early to catch the bus with a friend and head to the sidewalk sale. I had been kind of avoiding my friends since I got back from Canada and I wasn't in the best of moods but I had a great time with them shopping downtown. There were no awkward pauses and it just felt like a regular group of people having a good time. It was nice. I also controlled my shopaholic habits and didn't buy anything. Except for I splurged for a cupcake from Cupcake Construction which I SWEAR was my idea. I always said when I retired I was going to open a Tea and cupcake place with really bright colors everywhere. The whole idea is like a coldstone for cupcakes. You can design it anyway you want, but the idea was stolen from me. Oh well, it wasn't meant to be.

I had a great time hanging out with my new friend. I was feeling kind of lonely you know and I think god answered my prayers with them. They're both two really cool people that I can be myself around, no judgement or anything. So we also went down to the sidewalk sale then had dinner at my house and watched never say never. Well Me and one of my friends did. Her brother is not interested in Justin Bieber as most boys aren't. Justin Bieber's music just makes me feel good because it's so light and fluffy and that made my day.

Then African Queen randomly trended on twitter. Love that song. I heard it at a wedding in 2009 and the message was really pretty. It's nice hearing a song about a girl like me. Sometimes I feel like I live in a world where my complete opposites are idolized and i'm just there. But I'm working on self esteem issues and finding comfort in the fact that what was meant to be will be. How I look or the weird things I say won't get in the way.

I'm also figuring out that what people think of you isn't as important as it may seem. Be polite and be kind but don't ever change yourself because you don't feel cool enough in front of certain people like your crush or the "popular" kids. If they don't like the real you then it's not even worth it. You are who you are and the people that were meant to be in your life will appreciate that person. I honestly believe that. I hope you all do too.


Song of the day: The Best Day by Taylor Swift

quote of the day: Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of someone else" - Sean Kingston

Paige Conway, The Luck. The Drama. The Whole Story.

So by now every belieber on twitter has heard of Paige Conway. Us beliebers are a pretty close group and word travels fast. My first thought looking at the trends was: who is Paige Conway? I tried to find her on twitter and sure enough someone popped up. Sure enough it was the girl from Ellen. If you think back to a few months ago there was a girl on the show labeled "Justin's biggest fan" and she got to meet Justin. He surprised her at her house and then she got to come on the show where she sat on his lap while he wiped her tears and flirted with her. Turns out, this wasn't her first time. Apparently she had met Justin at the finale of the My World Tour in Atlanta and it didn't go well. They didn't click but she stayed "true" to him.












We all follow Justin so we know that he crashed a wedding last night with Selena. Guess who was at the wedding? Paige Conway meeting Justin Bieber for the third time! Unbeliebable! Here's the story according to someone at the wedding courtesy of brandonyano.tumblr.com :

"I went to a wedding last night in Malibu that got crashed by Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. He came, grabbed the mic and said a few words, took pics with the bride and groom, then grabbed Selena’s hand and literally ran off. They said that they were walking by and heard his song and decided to check it out. Coincidentally, the bride’s cousin Paige (who was at the wedding) had won a contest earlier this year as Bieber’s biggest fan on The Ellen Show and got surprised in her bedroom by the Biebs and also got to appear on the show with him."

He also posted a picture of Justin at the wedding:


There is a high chance that the man was right and it was just a big coincidence, god was continuing to smile down on Paige Conway. But part of this stories missing. It was just the other day that Paige's mom ran into Justin. She even tweeted about it. Now for those of us who have mothers, don't we know they'd do ANYTHING for us. Especially if they knew how much we like Justin. Maybe she'd just let it slip that there was a wedding he should come too. Another thing that makes me suspicious is that the DJ and the wedding spent all night talking about non other then...Justin Bieber. This is an adult's wedding. Justin has many fans but it's not common that their middle aged people. hmmm. Here's proof of both events from Paige's twitter @paigeconway2





Now if this were any of the beliebers that I know, i'd be ecstatic that they got to meet him. I love the fact that Justin is so close to his fans. I love the fact that people get these great opportunities everyday. I think beliebers should be happy for beliebers when these things happen. Not jealous, or angry. I think the reason she got so much hate today is because of the negative tweets about Justin she sent out. Tweets that don't exactly match what "Justin's Biggest Fan" should be like, in my opinion. Here they are...



She said some negative things but nothing truly terrible. These are the comments that made so many people so upset with her. I know another group of people was upset that she gets these oppurtunities because she's a fairly wealth girl. Justin isn't the only celebrity she's met. She's met Greyson Chance, Jasmine Villegas, Cody Simpson, Nicki Jonas, and the entire glee cast.

Now there are all sorts of rumors running around about the two of them. Some people are saying they had a fling. I personally don't believe that rumor, because I don't think Justin could date someone as obsessed as the girl appeared to be on the ellen show. Think about it? Could you be around someone that worships the ground you walk on? Justin has said he likes people that keep him humble. It would be weird kissing someone when a million posters of you are staring back at you. I have Justin posters, nothing wrong with it but I think it would be weird. So if you ask me, they didn't date.

Over all Paige is just a very very lucky girl. I can only hope other beliebers are as blessed as she's been.

Dreams. They're something special aren't they? I'm not talking about the random one where you're dating Justin Bieber or when some evil monster comes and attacks you. I'm talking about the ones that happen when your awake. When you let your heart believe for just a second and day dream. I've been doing it a lot more lately because I really feel like I was born to be somebody. Somebody worth something, somebody special. Weather that means being one of the last girls in my generation with values, or being somebody's faithful wife. Maybe being an author since i already wrote one book and am working on it's sequal. Maybe being a singer, even though I didn't make chamber :/ (still upset). Or maybe...I can be an actress. I spent the whole day saying, "I'm Mariam Ali, and YOU'RE watching Disney Channel. I know I'm weird, but i'd like to make it. I'd like to become someone big someday. I've always wanted too, but I was even more inspired after watching Nicki Minaj and Selena Gomez's E! Story. They were regular people, just like me. But they had a dream and they fought for it and they got it.

What I learned today though, after some research was being on disney channel isn't easy. I would need an agent who costs lots of money, and I would probably need to be a lot skinnier and a little prettier. And the chances are as they've always been One in a million. Am I crazy for wanting to be that one? For wanting to shine and prove everyone wrong? I think this started when my uncle called me a little while again. I hadn't talked to him in a long time and whenever we chat we always get crazy ideas into each others heads about making millions and showing people just how talented we are. We've always been more like friends then an Uncle and a niece. It's nice, I feel like I can tell him stuff about boys or wild dreams without being judged. I told my parents about my latest ambitions, and got a long lecture about success through education being a guarantee and acting not being an excuse not to study.

I want to study. I want to go to college and study pharmacy. I Think I can be perfectly content as a pharmacist. Actually more then content, comfortable. But will it bring great joy to my life? Of course not, what's so great about counting pills. The vacations I can take with that pharmacy money...now that's great but the job itself. No. I guess the reason i'm not truly following my heart is i've seen a good amount of people follow their dreams and fail. So i'm going to study hard and get my degree and get those scholarships, THEN pursue my dreams. And if it was meant to be it will be. That's for sure. Well we just took a little vacation into my soul. Hope you enjoyed it.

A few other dreams of mine are:
To have my own talk show host, Like Oprah and Tyra combine

To be editor in chief of people magazine (I love to write, I love celebs, I love that magazine so why not?)

Write a best selling novel similar to The Notebook. A true romance that makes you laugh and cry and feel in ways you never thought words could make you feel

To make an album entirely of songs by me. And to make them life changing. To be the kind of artist Taylor Swift is to me. An inspiration, and a friend when no ones there. The album should give advice and have a song for every emotion possible

Have my own reality show, and have a life increadible enough for people to actually want to follow me around.

Yuuup that's it

Song of the Day: If This Was a Movie by Taylor Swift

quote of the day: "Everything comes in time to those who can wait." - Francois Rabelais

(what are the chances this is the first quote I see on my quote website when I just blogged about the same concept. crazyyy. It's my luck)

"You can break everything I am/Like i'm made of glass..made of paper/Go on and try to tear me down/I will be rising from the ground like a skyscraper"

Hi world,
Today's a down day. You know, I always come back to this blog when I have a down day. Always. I'm just not good at talking to people. I'm not good at letting other people know that I'm not perfect, and i'm not happy all the time. I'm not good at letting other people in. Lately it seems like everyone around me is happy, AND head over heels in love. Literally everyone. And they tell me all these great stories and i'm happy for them, truly happy for them. These are the people I care the most about and I know that they deserve it. But then I start to wonder, why don't I deserve it? Why don't I deserve a fairytale, a prince, the gift of being secure, and the gift of being able to open up. Why? I try not to be selfish, and I try to be appreciative of what I do have but it's not always that easy.

And sometimes I just want someone to notice. Someone to care. Everyone is so busy in their own worlds that I feel just plain alone. On the upper hand my little cousins came over yesterday and I played games with them for awhile, and they made me feel loved. My family does too, it's just I wish I had more friends who shared the same interest. Who were willing to just be there, no matter what. You know what they say, that which does not kill you can only make you stronger. So maybe this is my time to gain strength. To prove that no matter how hard people knock me down, i'll rise up. Like a SkyScraper.

That last line wasn't my genius it was Demi Lovato's. And she's been a big help to me lately. I've been watching her interviews and hearing her tell her story of depression, and insecurity. She talk's about her eat disorders and loosing friends she thought she was close too. And the world sent her a gift...the song SkyScraper. It's up lifting. And inspiring. And it'll make you cry if you've ever felt what she's singing about. Like the world is falling on top of your shoulders. Like there's nothing you can do to better yourself. Like your loosing yourself among the pressures to be perfect. So thats what I have on repeat. SkyScraper. And with hope, i'll be rising from the ground like a sky scraper and truly achieve not only greatness, but true happiness.

song of the day: Skyscraper by Demi Lovato

quote of the day: That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

"I finally found the good in goodbye, I used to want you so bad"

Hi everyone, I hope you're all good in every way. I don't know if this happens to everyone, or just me but there are moments where I hear something and it sticks. And just makes everything more clear. Yesterday mine came from church. I know everyone has different beliefs and I think thats maybe how it should be because different things connect with different people. I think at the end of the day there's just one god and different ways of worshiping him. But, if you don't believe thats cool too :) All are welcome at this blog. Anyways the words were about what gets you through tough times. And he said you get through not by focusing on what is wrong and what you want to happen, but focusing on God. The rest will happen as it's meant to be as long as your heart is in the right place. Now these exact same words were told to me by my best friend the other day. She was telling me to stop focusing on this guy, to move past but not over. I guess I didn't really understand what she meant but it was finally clear.

I may think I know what's good for me and what I deserve but I don't always know. And the truth is I have no control of what the future holds. So there's no point of sitting and stressing about it. Or worrying. Or even...hoping. For most people hope is a good thing, but for me hope means letting myself get carried away and...it's not a good thing. So i've officially set myself free of the crush, even though it was totally more then that..the word crush doesn't do it justice. That doesn't mean I don't facebook stalk every once awhile, and I don't sit down and sometimes think of him. It's at the most random times too. Like I just recently realized that my dad totally thinks he's a good guy, he actually remembered his name! He never remembers my friends names. And they talked...and it wasn't weird and I wasn't embarrassed. But anyways, i've given up on that idea and i'm waiting for the world to send me someone or something amazing my way. No more trying or crying. If it was meant to be it will be. In the words of the great Beyonce I finally found the good in goodbye..for now. Lets hope it actually lasts this time.

Song of the day: Best Thing I Never Had by Beyonce (Yes, i'm still in love with it. The wedding dress in the video blew me away. I loved it. Plus it's fitting for my current situation)

quote of the day: Sometimes all you need is a broken heart to realize that something even better is right in front of your eyes.Waiting to be found

I'm on the edge of glory and i'm hanging on a moment of truth, I'm on the edge with you

Ok so yesturday I watched the Dianne Sawyer interview with Jaycee Duggard. Wow. Wow. Wow. Anyone who saw it would probably say the same thing. Jaycee Duggard is a girl that was kidnapped by this psycho and his wife for 18 years. Can you believe it? Thats a lifetime. She was forced to live in the shed in his backyard. The man was already under trouble with the police for rapping another young girl, parol officers would come in and out of the time and none of them noticed or asked about why Jaycee was there. During her time in the shed she had two children with her rapist and gave birth by herself with just the man and his wife helping. There was a complication with the her first child and her capturer had to stick his hand in and untangle the umbilical chord :o . You'd think after all this happened you'd be pretty messed up and depressed right? Nope, she's happy as can be. She said being sad would mean the man won. Anyways, next time you think that you're having a rough time or can't find a reason to smile think of Jaycee. She went through a terrible situation and still found the light in the darkness.

I think thats the secret to happiness. The secret to everything being alright. Finding light in the darkness and holding on to it. Lately i've just felt bleh. Bleh means i've been a little down and I haven't been finding the spark in life. I guess I feel a little abandoned by those I love the most. When you're alone your forced to think about things, even things you don't want to think about. I've avoided thinking about things for a long time which made me avoid talking about things and just being quiet and silent like when I was really little. I think some of my friends thought it had something to do with them, but it had nothing to do with them and everything to do with me. Oh well. Life goes on. The light that i've found in my own personal darkness is education. Because education = pharmacy job which = Christian Loubitons, shopping, and traveling.

Education is something that I know will result in good things. There's nothing negative that can come out of it. There's no way my education won't want me or will choose someone else over me. There's no way my hard work will turn to nothing. Too bad education isn't as fun as other things...but I have to hope the fun will come later.

Random Fun Fact of the day: A baby was born at sixteen pounds in dallas texas! Thats the size of a six month old baby and he came out like that. The poor mother. But what do you expect...everything's bigger in Texax haha

song of the day: The Edge of GLory by Lady Gaga

Quote of the day:"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley

"Father father father help us send some guidence from above, cause these people got me questioning...where is the love?"

Hello Hello,
Today I was outraged, and dissapointed on so many different levels. Four words: The Casey Anthony trial. I've been following this trial from afar, not since 2008 when it started, but recently when the case started being telivised. I listened to the CNN information and all kinds of things and I personally came to the conclusion that Casey anthony murdered her poor 2 and a 1/2 year old child. This is why:

1. She didn't report her daughter missing for 31 days. 31. What kind of mother doesn't notice her child is gone for 31 days. If not suspicious or murder then definatley child neglect. It was her mother that reported the child missing after not seeing her for a month.

2. 2 days after her daughter went missing saying "Bella Vita" which means beautiful life. For the 31 days that she was gone Casey Anthony partied it up like a lion let loose from her cage. All the while, her daughter was dead. Did she care? No!

3. Her own father, said her daughter was guilty of murder. She made up some crap about how he abused her as a child. You waited 25 years to bring this up? Now?

4. Casey claims that her daughter "fell in the pool"? Well tell me Casey, how did she end up in the woods with duck tape over her mouth? Does that just happen.

Those are just a few of the reasons why I think its obvious she did it. And it makes me sad that that little girl didn't get any justice. It made me sad that poor Caylee Anthony can't even defend herself now and got her life ripped away from her. She'll never drive, or get married, or go to prom. All because her mother was a cold blooded monster. What scares me is that this women is out there, free to roam, and kill other people. If someone can kill her own child then she has no problem doing it to someone else. God forbid shes reading this right now because then i'm a gonner.

I'm dissapointe in our justice system because Michael Vick was sent to prison for killing a dog (don't get e wrong, thats a bad thing), but she was free for killing a huamn being. It doesn't seem right to me. If Casey did do it, then her justice is waiting for her in hell. Karma will get her. Not to meantion she has to live with the guilt and I coulden't even imagine how terrible that would be. Knowing you ruined your childs life. It's so sad.

song of the day: Where is the Love by the black eyed peas

quote of the day: Where there's a will, there's a way

"Someday i'll be living in a big old city..." - My dreams of the future

So my life has been filled with lots of talk about the future and I too have been daydreaming i'm just always embarassed to talk about it. So don't try to get me to. I won't. But seeing as this blog is like my diary i'll let you in.

20 years from now...if gods willing, and everything goes as I want...

I would have graduated from high school, and have a degree in pharmacy

I would have traveled and stepped foot on every continet except for Antartica,because I can't think of a single thing i'd want to do in Antartica. Specificallly I hope to have been to: Greece, Italy, Dubai, Seachelles island, South Africa, Jamaica, Bahamas, Hawii, Tokeyo, and any where else the world takes me.

I'll be married to an amazing guy who likes dancing around to music in the living room, likes to travel and see things, listens when I talk (not just nodds but really listens), and most importantly loves me with all his heart. Not to meantion he's going to be cute..

I want to have five children (four girls and a boy), seeing as I wrote an entire book based off my day dreams and hopes for the future I have names: Angelina, Natalie, Delilah or just plain Laila, Isabelle, and Justin (yes i'm naming my child after Justin Bieber he inspires me. But I swear I liked the name Justin before him.)I want them to know they're loved and I want to be close to them.

I want to live in a beautiful house that I designed with a pool in the backyard, a hot tub, a little spa area, big spacious rooms, and lots of colors everywhere. And orchids, there should be orchids. I want a killer sound system that spreads through the whole house. Music should be playing at all times all over the house. It'll set the mood and the feel. Music is life. This home will be in some quiet neighboorhood, maybe in calabasis, california or somewhere else. I also want a simple house in the hamptons to spend my summer in (who said I can't dream big).

I want to be famous, I will probably have my own television show similar to oprah where I talk about life and interview celebrities. Give my opinion on things.

I will also have my own reality show, like keeping up with the kardashians. One can only hope to have a life is as fun as theirs.

I hope to have my fingers in the music buisness. Maybe song writting, or teaching piano on the side. Or having an album of my own. I've always dreamed of an album of all duets. With songs kind of like Superhuman or Just a kiss by CB and Lady Antebellum.

I'd like to help the world somehow. Maybe by donating money or volunteering at one of those hotlines to give people advice or just talk to lonely people. I want to do something, find some way to give back.

I want to be close to my family, and a few of my besties. I hope we still have many good times together and everyone that I love is just as sucsessful as I am.

I want to be really fashionable, no mom jeans and old lady clothes for me. I hope to have a killer fashion sense and wear french heels everywhere, everyday just because I can. I admire french people's lifestyle. Tennis shoes are for those who can't work it. I want to strut like I mean it, bring on the Christian Loubitons.

I hope to go to concerts often, there's just some kind of magic in concerts. I can't explain it. It's crazy. I hope it still feels just as magical 25 years from now.

And most importantly I hope to be healthy, and happy and alive. Yup these are my dreams. I just let you in. Be glad.

"I got my hands up they're playing my song, I know i'm gonna be ok/Yeaaaah it's a party in U.S.A."

Happy Fourth Of July my loves!
Today we celebrate our independence from the british people. I never thought about it before this year but imagine how brave these people had to have been. To sign the form and announce that they're willing to give up what they know (kind of like leaving your parents house for the first time) and just go off on their own not sure of whats to come. That my friends, is FEARLESS. So I salute all those original americans that made the life i'm living here in this beautiful countey today. America still remains one of the only countries where someone can be born poor with nothing, and achieve greatness. Kind of like Obama's story. The American dream lives and will continue to live as long as American's have the same heart. So the rant is over, God bless America. I'll tell you guys how I speant my fourth of July.

I woke up to plumming work being done at my house, and spent some quality time with my Harry Potter book. I'm trying to read it as fast possible to finish before the last movie comes out. I hung out with my family a little then we went to the party we were invited too. It was at a Kenyans family's home and they invited all people from kenya with the exception of my family, we're from Tanzania which is also in East Africa if you didn't know. Kenyan peple and Tanzanian people seem the same but they're very different. I enjoy spending time with both groups. We had dinner together, we prayed together, then we went out and played soccer..which is highly unusual for me. I'm really bad at sports which can be really embarassing in certain situations. I feel guilty for letting the whole team down but everyone was playing. People from ages 21 to 6. It was fun. I felt very together. They are good people. Us
African people have got each others backs.

At the party there was a very unique couple. There was a midget man, with a hunchback..married to a tall woman. I know these things happen all the time but I thought it was the cutest thing. It reminded me that love has no words or boundries and it isn't alway predictable. It just reinforced the whole soulmate theory for me. Everyone has that one person they were meant to be with. And there are lots of trials and issues that might occur and get in the way but at the end of the day the person who you really belong with, the right person..they won't care. A lot of the time I sit and fantasize about that person in my life. I hope I get to expireance a great romance like that of the notebook or titanic in my life. I'm not in a rush though, when it's the right time with the right person everything will all in place. No effort needed. It's called the "sit and wait method". It was preached to me and my best friend a couple years ago and we never forgot it.

song of the day: Firework by Katy Perry (It seems appropriate seeing as it's the fourth of July)

quote of the day: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness - Decleration of Independence

"Boy you got my heartbeat running away/Beating like a drum and it's coming your way/Can't you hear that boom badoom boom boom"

Feelings. The definition of a feeling is "An emotional state or reaction." All it took was five words to try and describe the very thing that makes us human. Thats the difference between us and spiders and aliens right? We feel things. We feel happy, we feel sad, we feel attracted, we feel turned on, we feel repulsed and the list goes on and on. I know I have a lot of feelings, some that I show and some that I don't. Some that i'm proud of, and some that i'm not. And sometimes it's just hard to show what it is i'm feeling to anyone. Not my family, not my friends. I don't know what it is inside of that is so scared of letting people in my head. I don't know if it's the fact that they might not like the person that they see or that it won't live up to who I used to be. Or that maybe it's wrong for me to want certain things. Its weird. I wonder if i'm alone in this feeling. It started this year and thats why I stopped blogging and kind of stopped talking. I wasn't up for letting people in anymore. I think thats what happens when you open yourself up the most you ever have and the other person doesn't let you in.

Do you ever wonder about other peoples feelings? I hate having to wonder weather someone just felt insulted when I said something or their mad at me. I have a big mouth but only with the people I'm the closest too. If I'm telling you something painfully truthful, know that I love you. The other people aren't worth the potential fight. Every once in awhile I feel a super bass. If you haven't heard the song you don't know what i'm talking about. I'm obsessed with it. It's called super bass by Nicki Minaj and it's about that boy that makes your heart beat so fast and so loud you swear the whole entire world can hear it. Except for him..And if he can't hear it he's ignoring it.

The super bass is a feeling that makes me shy. Like a little girl. and it makes me do stupid things because I don't think about consequences. I just think about finding any way to make the other person feel the same way. But thats just another problem with being human. You can't make the other person feel the way you want them too. It doesn't work that way. And sometimes you can spend years trying to figure it out, it being what the other person is feeling, only to find out it's not the same thing your feeling.

But I can't get the idea out of my head that if I could just hold myself together for 5 minutes, wear the cutest dress on the face of the earth, get past the awkward small talk and just let it out...he'd feel it too.

But I didn't do that. And I probably won't. And it's just too little, too late.

Song of the day: Super Bass by Nicki Minaj

quote of the day: Sometimes the thing you want the most, is the thing you're best without

Vacation Stories Continued...

Stratford didn't bring the end of vacation. We spent the next day meeting up with my parent's old friends. It was fun. They had kids my age but we didn't really talk that much. I think I hold myself in high standards sometimes, not that i'm vain but I feel like if i'm a guest at your house you should come talk to me not the other way around. Does that make sense? Maybe it's because they were boys and african people still have an old fashioned mindset about different genders together. I don't know anyways we did that and then went off to niagra falls which was just breathtakingly beautiful. It's one of those things you see on T.V. but actually being there and feeling the mist all around you, and seeng an endless amount of water coming at such a high powered speed was really cool. I enjoyed it and tried to take as many awesome pictures as I could. I think i'll try and post some later.

After Niagra falls we just hung out around hte house and then went to Danders square again because thats what canadian people do every night from what I could tell. Toronto wass a very diverse city. There were all kinds of people there from all over the world, but very few actual canadians which I found weird. I didn't really hear any difference in the way they speak over there and we speak here except for the occasional eh? . But those were only in stratford, people in toronto didn't even say eh? that much. I loved their living stype. It was rare to see houses. Seeing as they have so many people in such a small area most people live in these gigantic apartment buildings. They are as big as skyscrappers and you can fit an unbelievable number of people in them.

Following Canada we stoped by Chicago for a day and a half. We wanted to fit in as many things as possible. We started in Willis Tower and went up to the sky deck which used to be the tallest building in the world before dubai build one like double the size. It was really cool up there and they have this awesome glass case type thing that sticks out of the building and you get to step on glass right about downtown chicago. It's not for those scared of heights. After sky deck we went to millenium park and walked around that area. Then we went to Taste of Chicago which was like this long street where all the restaurants in chicago sold food for a week. And you buy tickets to purchase things and get lots of free stuff. Then last but not least we walked ot the navy pier and saw all the fancy people and their yachts. We went on the ferris wheel and I rode a taxi for the very first time. It was cool.

The next day we said goodbye to Chicago by going into the Aquarium which has every kind of fish from every place you could ever imagine. I saw real live penguins and found out that the beluga as in the thing from the show baby beluga is a real animal!! I really enjoyed it there, it's a nice place. We got to watch a shortened version of Happy Feet in 4D which is where you can "feel" the movie too. Like for all the snow scenes we were surrounded my bubbles and if mumba got poked then we got poked in the back too. and for happy feet this thing under our chairs swished all around. It was cool. We also saw the regular animal show where they did tricks and stuff. I salute anyone who's brave enough to work with those animals. It looks scary. We ended in the Indian part of chicago where I got a henna tattoo and ate at this good restaurant. I loved both chicaco and canada. It's definatley not something i'm going to forget any time soon.

" A way to come together and a way to make things better. We need a holiday..."

So this summer I went on vacation to Canada: Toronto & Stratford, along with Chicago. I had the time of my life. It always feels good to just get away for a little while and have a good time. We drove 20 hours and believe me..it was a long time but the excitment got me by. I've had a little obsession with Canada for awhile, it just seemed so cool. The first day we arrived there we went to meet up with our family friends and then hit the Eaton Center which is this huge outdoor shopping area. They have over 200 stores and people go to the center of that place, Danders Square (similar to time square) where people sing and dance and perform there. There was even a michael jackson memorial on the day of his death anniversary. That was the spot.

The second day we went to Stratford which happens to be Justin Bieber's home town. Yes. I'm one of them. I'm a belieber. We arrived in Stratford and I was a little shocked, it was a really small town. Mostly residential homes and they had one "main street" with little shops and restaurants. It was the cutest thing i've ever seen. All the old buildings and such. I had lunch at pizza pizza where Justin bieber ate in never say never and they talked to me about justin a bit. Then I went down to the stratford upon avon lake and as we were walking back to the car my uncle met a coworker of his. She happened to be from stratford and know Justin bieber's mom from school and a dance class they took together. She offered to take me to his house and some other spots. So she took me to all the diferent places from NSN and we ended at justin's house. I had a letter to leave justin..just because I wanted too. So I got out of the car and walked to the mail box. Then this dog stars barking, not just any dog, but sammy bieber. I freak out and go back to the car. My mom tells me to go back and not to be scared. Then a man comes to the window, my parents think it's justin's grandpa and start waving at him. The lady goes in the back of the car and hides because she thinks they'll call the police.

Justin's Uncle Chris (who's his mom patties brother) makes a wait sign and comes outside. I patientlly wait and out comes this man that not wearing a shirt, that looks kind of short and a dog whom runs out and he catches. And suprisingly he starts to chat with me and my family about his family, and justin, and us, and why we were there, and what big of a fan I was. I tell him about my letter then he goes "I normally don't give anyone special treatment but...wait. Turn off the cameras. All of them. " So my parents and I turn off our camera's and the camcorder and he goes, "Come with me". Me, my uncle, monika, and my brother start walking to the door and he turns around and says, "wait, not all of you. Just her." and he points at me and smiles". My heart starts beating so fast and I understand whats happening. He opens the door and I walk in. To my left are all these pictures in beautiuful black frames of justin and pattie and all the other members of their family like a collage. There are stairs going up and stairs going down. Chris starts walking up and in the living room I see couches and a tv like any other living room. Theres a white avril lavigne pillow on the couch that looks autographed. The walls are filled with all of Justin's platnium album thingy's. The main one about the couch has all 3 of the albums and a big gold record.

Chris motions for me to come up more stairs and theres a platinum album for the acoustic on the wall. Then he opens a door and i'm in Justin Bieber's room. It was just like in the movie. The bed was made but just a little messy like someone had sat on it or laid on it. The room was really small. There was maple leaf stuff all over the wall that matched his bed cover. On the left side he had all these medals from soccor and hockey and two pictures of him when he was little, one of them was him on the soccer field. On the right was his dresser with a bottle of someday on and some lotion and stuff. Not much. Then his uncle chris says have you heard of someday? And I go "yeah I have it!" and he goes "well this is Justin bieber's special bottle" and he sprays it on both sides of my neck. I freak out some more then he motions like time to go and gives me a speech about how I shoulden't tell justin's grandparents he could get in trouble blah blah blah. Then I agree and beg for just one picture in justin's room. He says no and that this is for justin's privacy. And he also says, "I don't want these all over facebook and youtube and all that. This way no one will ever believe you" . He laughs and i'm crying inside of joy and saddness. He gives me a hug and off I go.

Long story short, I had a great time in stratford

song of the day: Holiday by Madonna

Quote of the day: The "best" investment you can make isn't gold. It's the people you love, the dreams you have, and living a life that matters.

"I've been California dreaming for your heart for me..."

Well well well, you know me right? You know my weakness? It's the weakness that kind of started this blog. It was a place where I can talk about how I felt and everything. A month ago I told you I was over my weakness. I should've known it wouldn't last. But I can't help it! He's like my kryptonite! All he has to do is smile and say my name and there I am again wanting him and searching for him like a lost puppy. What the hell is wrong with me? I don't know what exactly it is but something about him..it just makes my heart beat fast. And the funny thing is he can't hear that super bass. I mean I'm not really all that flirty around him because we're never in a situation where that seems okay. And sometimes I wonder if he even believes that I like him.

The bottom line is he doesn't like me. I need to get over it. God help me. And if not God one of you. Is the fact I can't get over him a sign that I shouldn't be? I met a ton of cute canadian guys, like Trey songz types and none of them gave me the same kind of butterflies he does. I have a serious problem. And it's only getting worse. ugh.

song of the day: California King Bed by Rihanna

quote of the day: "Shrek is the best fairytale. He teaches you that no one needs to be perfect to have a happily ever after." - Damn Teen Quote on twitter

"And it's you and me and all other people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you" : A tour of my iPod

Hey young world! I just got back from my vacation. Drove 19 hours to Canada (more stories later) but it didn't feel long at all because I had music. Music is my life. It has been since about the 2nd grade when saw Alicia Keys singing Fallin at the Macy's day parade. She was on the piano and something about the keys and her voice joining together just made me want to do that. That performance stuck with me forever. I like everyone else like listening to music. Not just for the lyrics but for the beat and the instruments and the construction of the song and the feeling the song gives you. Anyways music is a big part of my life and I wanted to let you guys into my iPod...here are the songs I got yesterday.

1. Best Thing I Never Had by Beyonce : this song is amazing, the piano part is pure genius and the song describes how I want to feel about the prince thing. It's not how I feel but I just want to be over it..I just can't. But I do know, I'm the best thing he never had :)

2. California King Bed by Rihanna: This song is something special, not the typical Rihanna dance jam. It's slow with a beautiful guitar part and ah-mazing lyrics. I want her voice.

3. Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga : This is hands down my favorite song off of the Born This Way album. It just a fun, upbeat song with a killer saxophone part in the middle. How can you not start dancing when this plays.

4. I got you by Leona Lewis: I've been a Leona fan for a long time. She doesn't disappoint, it's just as soulful as all the others.

5. Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) by Katy Perry: Such a fun song, the music videos pretty awesome too if you haven't seen it.

6. Man Down by Rihanna: This song has a reggae vibe that I really like. I have island blood and something you'll find on all islands is a love for music with this kind of feel. It's really down to earth. Rum pa pa pum

7. Motivation by Kelly Towland ft. Lil Wayne : The Bet performance of this song with Trey Songz was crazy. I wanted to trade lives with kelly in that moment so bad. It's a typical sex song but still good and creative.

8. Roll Up by Wiz Khalifa : I avoided listening to this song for a long time because I thought it was about drugs..don't ask. I actually ended up hearing it at church camp and I love the beat. It reminds me of the stuff from when was little and it has a good summer feel to it.

9. Stereo Heart by Gym Class Hero's ft. Adam Levine : Definatley something different, not your typical modern song. The words are cool and I just like the feel if this song too

10. Love you like a love Song by Selena Gomez: I'm a belieber and I support my belieber family and Selena's obviously an important part of that for Justin. This is a dance song, it reminds me of stuff that Britney Spears does, she really has improved though.

11. Turning Tabled by Adele : can Adele even write a bad song? This is magic and deep and soulful. I dare you to listen to it and not think of someone or feel something. It's good. Her while album is.

12. You and Me by Lifehouse: this song is very very old. I wanted to know the name for so long and I finally found it. The words are beautiful.

Anyways these are the songs that are new to my iPod , Enjoy!