risks

Hello everyone! just for the record this is blog number 235! Thank you to all the people who have stuck through and read all the blogs so far. I'll keep it up no worries. So is life treating you good? I really really really really hope it is! And you know this whole good or bad thing is all about your mindset. If you convice yourself that your haveing a good time, eventually you will be having one. Im almost positive on that one. You know how im always talking to you readers about taking risks. Well I feel like I haven't talked to you about that one so im going to refresh your memory.

There are many ways to think of life. Some think of it as a ticking clock. The tock clicks every second, until one day time goes on without you. Unfortunetly all people must die, and no one really knows when their time will come! I'm not trying to be a downer but its just the truth. The way I think of it sometimes is you can live life the safe way, you know color in the lines. Never drive too fast, or do anything to "Crazy". Or you could live a life with enjoyment. Where you follow your heart and go whereever it leads you. If you feel like Bunji jumping you strap up and jump of the bridge. It theres some kind of talent competition you enter. Keep in mind that all those people that we admire started of just like us. The Jackson 5 started going to talent competitions all around the country from the time they were all under 18. Think about it, if for some reason michael or jackie or somebody got scared and never entered we would not have had the great music of any of the jacksons! It all involved taking a risk. Facing the possibility that those talent judges might hate you. But they got on stage and danced and sang and they judges loved them. It was well worth taking the risk don't you think?

Think of all those men out there who are deep in love. But the idea of proposing probably scares them out of thier mind. Think about it, they are asking someone to give the rest of their life to them. I hadn't really thought deeply about it until I recently saw valentines day. Ashton Kutcher plays the proposal boy. And anyways its a big deal. They have no way of really knowing if you even are in love with them. No one can read anyones mind. Yet they still by the ring and get down on one knee. Or hold a girl and walk her around the table three times. Whatever it is you and people like you do to symbolize the comitment its a big deal! None of which would be done without taking a ....risk? Get the picture here. All of the good things in life you achieve by risk. By opening that math book a few extra times and making sure you memorize for that test risking the chance of failing anyways. Purusing that dream of opening a bakery. Its all done with risks. So go out there and take some healthy risks. If it dosen't work out for the best then, i'm sorry. I've been there and I know it feels sucky. But eventually life goes on and you realize its a good thing that it worked out that way.

song of the day: Dream Big - David cook (even though archadorable should have won)

quote of the day: If you dont dream big, whats the use in trying?

Lets catch up on the world

I realize that lately my blog has been me, me, me. I'm sorry about that. I've been treating it as kind of a journal to help get my ideas out and such but I'll fill you in on what has been going on in the world lately. The Olympics' have been going on and although I haven't really watched I hear they've been pretty good. A big win for the U.S. was beating Canada at hockey. Their the best as you would imagine and its amazing that we managed to beat them at that. America has a total of 36 medals, 9 of which are gold and right behind us at second place is Germany who has a total of 29 medals, 10 that are gold. In my spanish class we have a german exchange student and her side of the class have been really competing with her on the whole olympic thing. She takes it well though. I don't think I would be able to go to school in a foreign country. We also have exchange students from paraguay and one of the boys came and played his instrument for us on friday. It was a hard, but it was wooden and shaped completely different. It also had a different sound, so it wasn't really boring classical music. It was really upbeat salsa type music that they call polka. Not Steve Erkel Polka but Paraguan polka.

It has been pretty boring in the celebrity world but a lot of them are currently putting a ring on it. Carrie Underwood is engaged to the NFL player Mike Fisher. I am happy for her. Now she has someone to sing those love songs too and weddings are always fun. Hillary Duff is engaged to a hockey player which is also good news. It seems like yesterday when Hillary was the Hannah Montana of our time. Its amazing how fast time goes by. Katy Perry has of course been engaged for a while, I don't really like her fiance though.

Recently there was this whale attack. I saw something on CNN about it. The lady was blond in a scuba diver outfit and she had her hair in a ponytail. She works for sea world and does those shows where you play with the whale and ride on its back and get it to do all kinds of things. Well the whale caught her ponytail and what happened next is kind of unsure. I know for a fact that she's dead and there were people watching it happen. I feel bad for all those people who were of course in shock and ran screaming. This whale in particular had killed 2 other people before. So their debating on whether to kill it or not. I am personally not the kind of person who really feels for animals. I don't know why but its never been in me. I think they shouldn't kill it, but they should put it back to the wild where the only thing it can eat is other animals. Cause if they do kill it what if it eats someone else in the process. I really admire those people who go into animal fields. it takes some guts.

There was also an earthquake in Chile yesterday. My prayers go out to all those people and their families. This world is turning into a scary play. Two earthquakes within two months. What exactly does this mean? Is it the fact that we aren't caring for the environment enough? Or is it something else out of our control. We also had an interesting conversation over dinner a few weeks back when we had some extended "Family" over. We were debating on who causes earthquakes, God or the Devil. I never really thought about it but within the same religions some people thing that everything good or bad is the plan of God. And then others think that if something is bad God didn't cause it it was the devil. I don't really know where my standing is but I would like to believe I believe in a God who loves his people and hates to see them suffer. A forgiving God who can see past the mistakes that we make while we are on earth. But I don't know, Its one of those things that will remain un-answered.

Song of the day: In my head - Jason Deurlo

Quote of the day: Life must be understood backwards, but... it must be lived forward.

Last Piece of news: Marie Osmonds son has commuted suicide on friday. I don't really know who's who in the Osmand family because their so many but it is top news.

dream

Hey people! So its sunday and I just got back from church but I really cant shake this dream I had last night. It was clearer than most. Oh wise one once told me that when a person falls asleep their souls are kind of floating around and if your soul happens to meet up with other peoples then their in your dream. What I remember of my dream was that I was in a museum with Olivia, Akira, and Taz. We went to go see things and inside the museum was J.D. It wasn't like a weird fairy tale dream it was really realistic. We weren't talking or anything, but we were sneaking glances as we went along the museum.

So the guy J.D. who happens to go to school was walking around with a motorcycle helmet and this bike thing and weirdly every once in awhile he would morph into prince who does not go to school with me. But long story short we wandered around and then we got outside and I Was supposed to get in a car with my friends but instead J.D. (for the moment) got in the car and hooked up this motorcycle and was going to drive off. I was desperately searching for a ride and in 2 different cars i saw janae and this blond girl from choir. I've never talked to either of those people. But then J.D. looked sadley behind. He got out of the car and then he handed me this bottle and inside was this water. Before he had given it to be he was swishing it in his mouth and it was gross because I'm even a germophob in my dreams. but he handed me the bottle and I held on to it for dear life like it was some kind of a gift.

I don't really know how I got home but eventually I did. And then I got a text from akira. The the text was very realistic and long. And it started out talking about how people who get in accidents die virtually painlessly and a lot of information. As I scrolled through all that it said, "i'm sorry to tell you but J.D. was in a car accident and is gone but he has no more pain now. blah blah blah". Then I started crying (this is not an uncommon thing for me in dreams). I gave her a call and then she picked up the phone and she was like hello , who is this? And I just started pouring tears and she was like i'm so sorry mariam. So I cried for awhile then I transported to the mortuary where they keep the bodies. Well J.D. was there for awhile and then he morphed into a dead blond girl. And there were these two men fighting for her body then suddenly I was looking through the eyes of that guy. And being chased by a gun by this other guy with a brown beard and frontal balding. He had a gun and was following us on horse and buggy. Thats when I woke up.

Is that not weird that it was so vivid. Tears were still falling as I got up. I don't know if I went to bed a little dissapointed so I was sad. Or if it has something to do with reading the time travelers wife before I feel asleep. It was all in all a weird dream. Dream analyzers are free to take guesses on what this means

J.D. who? Plan what? Prince.... Prince...Prince...... Does that say enough? I could just leave it at that and not mind, but I guess I should start with the beginging of the day and work my way to the end. I woke up fairley early for a saturday but I always feel dumb getting up early. So I stayed in bed and daydreamed for like an hour; then I started reading Push which is the book Precious was based off of. It wasen't great as I thought it would be , because is written in mispelled ghetto language. I could understand it all but it just made the book less phenomenal. I think this may be one situation where I liked the movie more than the book. The movie goes into painful detail about things and as much as I normally like that Its not that great when shes descibing certain things. I wouldn't really sugest it. But anyways I finished the whole book.



The afterwards I went into my room and I was feeling musical, so I recorded songs. All of the songs I have ever written are now on my ipod. I also felt like my voice was better today. Sometimes I feel like I have a really good voice, and other times I feel like I suck. But today was a pretty upbeat voice day. And I also attempted to record myself playing the piano and singing. That went pretty well but I had to clip the mike unto my shirt. Part of the plan was I would ask prince about the programs and stuff he useds to find beats for his songs and record them that way but it never happened...Anyways so I sang and played the piano a lot and before I knew it it was 3.



So I showered and started beautifing. I wanted to look out of this world fantastic. I didnt look that good but I looked a smigin better than I normally do. I did a little eye make up and wore by black and grey striped sweater dress with the matching scarf. I then wore my miley cyrus leggings and some flats. My hair was decently straight and looked pretty good. I also smelled amazing using my good purfume just in case someone important were to get close to me ;) Anyways so I was ready to go and we headed in the car with our awesome cd that I made for my father for his birthday. It had a ton of old songs on it and we had fun listening to it and singing along. Where were you going you ask? We were going to Natasha's 7th birthday party. Shes a family friend of ours. It was in olathe. So we got ready and left and everything and we got there a late but for african people we were early. So we drove around the block and then stopped our second time around when we saw uncle Adam and his kids get out of their van.



We then got out and greeted everyone. He has crazy kids. But their very cute and sweet. So I played with them for ahwile and the other kids. Then I sat down like a mature adult when Sona got there. She was introducing me to this other girl that I was supposed to be instantly friends with. It didn't really work, she was in 7th grade. Nice but we really had nothing to converse about. So the clock is ticking then more and more people show up. We eat and then the funniest thing happens. So Sona comes up to me and is like "is chris brown and them coming?" It just made me laugh, yes Samira your part of "chris brown and them" :) It was funny but eventually chris brown (Prince, you know whatever you want to call the handsome guy) and "them" did show up. I was excited to see my friend Samira and to have someone not little to talk too. So we hung out and I knew that she really knows me well , when I was totally day dreaming and she noticed!!! I've been guy dreaming for like 4 days now and no one even noticed but she did! What a good friend.



Anyways time fasts forward and I realize I havent talked to Prince yet. I was going too today. I wasn't going to be over the top flirty but the plan was we were going to communicate and I would take advantage of the time we had. For the record we have talked before. This isn't a celebrity love type of things. Somedays we can talk for quite sometime, and other days we dont even communicate. Its a weird non-relationship between a quiet girl and a guy whos WAY out of her league. Anyways I just got an intuition that I should go downstairs and talk to him! And I didnt want to go by myself but I could not convince my friend to go down with me. She thought it would be weird! but anyways I just felt a pull from above saying go talk to A. maybe even hug A. do something! But I didnt I just sat. I was having fun though. The clock ticked some more. tick tick tick. Then Samira/Prince's brother told me my dad was calling me so I went downstairs and their my dad along with prince and mini prince (younger brother, I figure if I keep some names confidential I should keep them all that way). My dad told me to get ready and to go pack food. So I did.



Then there was this point where I was ready to go and I was on the stairs but he was communicating to someone else so I decided to make small talk with "Adera (I swear she cant spell her own name)" untill he was done. Well he didn't really finish. So I went out the door and I still felt like I should say something, but I didnt (and on the contorary neither did he!! I guess i did not look cute enough today). But anyways I sadly walked to the car and then I dont know what got into me. I got angry then just plain sad about yet another missed oppurtunity. What an epic failure. I suck! Dont be like me readers, don't be like me.



p.s. if for some weird reason prince is reading this, then yes most likley you know who you are and I feel stupid for posting this online. But anyways Im happy your reading and what I was going to say was....Hey, how are you? And a lot of other small talk until we got in deep conversations and you realized that im not just another boring african girl but i'm pretty awesome! some day you'll get to realize this but I guess yesturday wasn't the right time

p.s. if your not prince then you didnt really have to read the above paragraph

song of the day: I wanna know - Joe



quote of the day: we are never so defensless against suffering as when we love.

yes! its friday!

Hey everyone! I am so pumped!! I just got back from an increadibly fun basketball game! Freestate was playing LHS. Now for those of you who are not lucky enough to live in lawrence kansas i'll fill you in. Lawrence has a total of two high schools. Lawrence high was the original high school thats been here for years. Their big thing is "tradition", a.k.a their school is old. Freestate is a new school that is no more than 10 years old and has all kinds of new stuff. The kids from the "west and north side" go to freestate. Recently both schools got new football fields but someone made an annonymous donation to free state giving us a concession stand, bathrooms, and a better field in general. In december, Free State's basketball team beat LHS's at freestate. Our basketball statium also happens to have a bigger student section then theres.

So anyways the basketball teams play each team twice and today was the second time for us to play LHS. At first I was iffy about going but Olivia convinced me and offered me a ride (thanks). So she picked me up around 4:45 and we headed out getting good seats. The girls game was pretty decent. LHS did a "whiteout". This means that they all wore white and when they do a white out they really do it. It was like a sea of white. We were supposed to be doing a blackout but the shirts they were selling for that were $12 and not enough people got it so we just wore school colors. We won the first game and by then the stands were packed full. A ton more people showed up for the boys game because thats more exciting but they had no where to sit. Guess who was sitting two rows down and to the right from me? Plan. :) (looking cute in his red hat)

Right before the boys started playing, LHS gets up and starts playing "Kids of america". Oh no they didn't. I'll give you the history of this too. Recently I blogged about a video that we made backwards. Well LHS had made a video before that and it was frontwards and just sucked. The song that they lip synched to was Kids of America. We posted our video on wensday and then the night of they hacked our screen and afte rthe first few seconds they put stuff about how great lhs was. Then someone hacked theirs and we got payback. So everyone was on edge about this video thing because it was yet another thing we were competing about.

So they play kids of america and are all singing along and we are just in shock at how low they've gotten. But then it gets worse. They pull up a banner that says, " Your just jealous, $ can't buy tradition". Uggggh. That sucked. But thank goodness someone got smart and all of freestate turned around like their too ugly to even watch or pay attention too. we couldn't really get back at them with that. The best payback was to win and we totally did. We beat them by over 10 points. LHS also has a dirty mouth, when theres a bad call or someone on their team does bad we just go boo. But they just say "bull shi*, bull shi*" over and over and over again. That is their favortie thing to say. The thing we both say that I think is awful is "You let the whole team down, you let the whole team down", when someone misses a free throw. It was a great game though and we won once again. As my friend put it, who owns this town? FREE STATE!

song of the day: Love in this club - usher

quote of the day: Your just jealous, $ can't buy tradition (the money thing was hinting at the fact that people that are better off go to F.S.)

Assembly

Today was the most. amazing. day. ever! I haven't had a day like this in a long time, it was much needed. You may have noticed I had a total mood change from yesturday. That heavy heart turned into a very very very happy heart. It started this morning when I got to zero hour orchestra and we didnt have to do anything. it was one big study hall!!! That went by pretty fast just hanging out with my friends. Then after that I went to spanish where we just talked and played games. then....it was seminar time! I was pretty happy because I didn't have to stay in seminar and could go hang out in ms. hunts room and just practice and watch. Help out also. When I got there there was a few of the diversity club people and Plan( very very very very very very very very hot guy) was practicing his m.j. tribute. It may have been kind of rough yesturday but today it was great. Then the rap was being practiced then guess what present for mariam dropped off by god stopped by? Jacob. :)

I really dont understand how just seeing a guy can make me heart turn upside down but it can. He just kind of hung around and he brought his friend. Here comes the possibly good or bad news. So For your information I think I looked hella cute today. I was wearing a new dress of mine that was black and than had this black, pink, silver, and white design on the bottom with leggings and my little coat. I felt gorgeous. That also helped lift my mood. But anyways bake to jacob. So we were practicing the song and I was singing with the other girls. At first he was at the perfect angle where he could see my and then he moved behind me with his friend onto the couch. Then suddenly this guy who was next sitting in the chair next to me, J.D., and this other dude started talking, and it seemed like they were talking about me. At first I thought I was day dreaming but Akira saw and noticed too. Then I felt someone walk behind me, and then he kind of stuck his head out like he was trying to see what I look like. I couldn't tell but Akira let me knwo that it was J.d's friend. And if Im right he was telling them that I liked him. Which means he acknoledges it. During the group picture guess who stood by me, J.D.

Math rolls by, then it is time for the big MLK assembly. I was basically shaking at that point, my heart was in a not. But I was excited all the same. I sat next to akira and sarah who both then ran to the bathroom for a final mirror check. Then guess who comes in? J.D. He walks in the rooma and is looking at me whos smiling, then he comes and sits next to me. But then before he sits his butt down he turns around (sees blond skank) and sits a seat down for me. :( But its cool because he moved from there anyways and went to sit with the boys. The assembly started and we all gave our little speeches. We had a speaker come and talk to us about MLK's message and everything. J. read a poem which was nicley and cutley read. Then the michael jackson tribute came on. It was roking in there the very very very very cute guy, plan, did fantastic. Then the rap happened. This wasn't just your average rap, mike the guy who was singing it has a record label and a cd called first paycheak. It was good.

The plan was that us diversity club girls would go up from during his performance and be like oh mike, and try to get him to touch us but I was a little shakey about the idea. This wouldn't be weird because the assembly was filled with people shouting out and stuff. It was just a fun get together. Some of the girls did go up and it started this huge ordeal where a lot of people went up and surrounded him. It was a sucsess. A few more speeches and such later, it was towards the end of our assembly and time for our song. Everyone was pumped from the rap so we got a good response. it went well. Really really well. I was proud to be a part of it. And this is all what created my fantastic, amazing, phenomenal, perfect day.

Song of the day: Lean on me - Club nuvo (we be jamin, we be jamin :) )

2/24/10

Have you ever heard the saying with a heavy heart, or her heart was heavy? Well my heart was heavy today. Ever since the school bell rang I had a weird feeling like a not in my heart. Of course I was praying and hoping it wasn't a disease and I wasn't gonna drop dead, but I figured it was my intuition. So I walk into the MLK assembly practice. Guess who's there? No Im sorry it wasn't Taylor Lautner or Prince but he was almost as cute. It was J.D. My heart totally jumped. He noticed me walk in but next to him was this stupid, ugly, blond skank!!! Any questions about how I feel about her? Anyways so we all sat in there and J.D. was making everyone laugh with his voices on the microphone. But next to him was always her. Giggling all skanky like. But I acted my part as an outsider well and acted like it was no big deal.

Getting back to the practice though, I read my little passage and it went well. Then I was waiting and looking at what everyone else was doing. Some bad news though, the step team was falling apart. But there was a michael jackson tribute and you all know how much I love those. Well, it was a little disappointing but you know what wasn't? The guy singing it. His names plan and he was CUTE! Then there was this rapper who did fantastic. I thought he was gonna suck but he had it all put together and did everything right. The beat was awesome and I just wanted to dance the whole time. We'll see how it goes and i'll defiantly let you know.

So aren't you still curious about why my heart was heavy? It was heavy because...I got on facebook and saw that J.D. was in a relationship with blondie. it made me realize that that part of my heart set for love is now shared between two men. And it felt like someone squeezed my heart. My heart feels heavy, this isn't the first time he has gone out with someone but it still really really hurts. But life goes on....

song of the day: Hey mama - kanye west

quote of the day:[A] final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works.

2/22/10

Hey everyone!! Today was a fairly good monday. I intelligently found a mistake on my teachers gradebook in chemistrey and all my worries ended. I know have a high B+ nearing an A in Advance Chem. I feel proud of myself. But along with the good news, there was also some bad news in chemistry. At our school there will no longer be a zero hour. Its gone, and this is bad for some peope like me. My current scheduale is packed full, and that is with 3 elective classes. Spanish (which basically isen't an elective because you need to credits to get into a good college), Orchestra, and Choir. So I'm going to have to quit either orchestra or choir. I enjoy choir more, BUT orchestra is going to give me a better chance of scholorship. Everyone can sing. This whole scheduale thing makes like really difficult. The scary thing is college is so close. We're soon going to be grown up. I personally can not wait, but im feeling like I am kind of wasting my high school expirience. Although I am perfectly content with my life, I haven't really gotten crazy wild yet. Thats definatly on my bucket list. I'll get to it some day.

Theres a certain guy that I haven't been able to get out of my mind. It had been ahilwe, and I was in control. But today I was on facebook and I was like hmm, I think im gonna look up random guy and without even realized it I typed in his name. The one I was really thinking about. Who was I thinking about? Prince. The same prince thats a girl magnet? yes. The same prince I have no chance with? Yes. Why am I still thinking about him? Because I totally cant shake it off. Its weird. I am normally a girl who can really control her emotions but this is one of those things I absolutley can not help. And althogh a part of me deep down inside keeps saying "life goes on, life goes on" (the new motto of the year), the other part is screaming just wait. The moment will come when all will fall in place.

A moment on one tree hill I love more than anything is when lucas is asked "who do you see next to you when all your dreams come true". If I were to answer that question I would see my parents, my brother, my aunt beatrice, my grandma, about 6 of my best friends, and prince. These are the peopel that are there when MY dreams coem true. But in this fantasy its not hard for me to talk to him. In this fantasy we are both open books and that feeling I get when I see him is mutual. Is that really possible? OR should I wake up and smell the coffee. In reality not everyones dreams dont come true, but I dont see why I cant be that one person.

Today was my dads birthday. I want to give a shoutout to him. Hes the best father in the world and although we have our fights I love him! Happy Birthday dad!

song of the day: When I look at you - Miley cyrus

quote of the day: Promise me that you'll let your head follow your heart.

Hello everyone! Life going well I assume? I had a pretty amazing saturday. I woke up a little earlier than usual and read from a really really really good book called Lock and Key. Then I got dressed and everything and went to school for diversity club. We rode in two cars and went to Indian Palace, a local indian food place. It was pretty delicious and at first, I thought that people wouldent eat it because its too "forein" but everyone dug in. Especially the guy teacher. He filled his plate. Then we got in cars and had to stop by some houses on the way for things. I was in the car with sarah, akira, Rafael and Mr. Nussbam. So Rafael was telling this story about a fight he got into. And the funniest part was that 1. he was talking to a teacher about how he choked soemoen and all the scars that it gave him, 2. At the end fo the story his girlfriend came in and kicked the guy in the face and now has attempted murder on her perminant record. Thats pretty god, and if you see his girlfriend shes totally not the type.

Their the cutest couple though. They had to be seperated and the minute the car drove off she called him, because she already missed him so much. She basically lives with him. So on the phone she told him to go pick up a few things for him. Next thing we know rafael comes out of her house with two huge bears. They were REALLY big. And he shoves them in the backseat and the bears overtake us. We were in a small car as it is. It was a funny car ride. But it was cute because he got those for her for christmas and valentines day. I wonder with couples like that if maybe their perfect matches and it will last forever, or if someday it will just end like all those other high school couples. who knows?

Once we got back to the school we watched Crash in Mrs. Hunts room. It was fun to be in the school with not that many people and we all began to bond sort of. We built a mallet, which is this mass amout of blankets on the floor and had it surrounded by pillows. Most of us came and the movie was pretty good. It had a ton of diffrent parts and discussed the stories through the life of an educated black person, a black cop in the L.A. p.d., some black street guys, white memebers of the L.A. p.d., this arabian guy, the mexican guy, and this white family. And some how they all resolve. There are some awful things that still happen in this world because of race. And I think that movie described it well, and wasn't scared or worried about offending either of the races. It was god and well described. It really makes you think. You should all go see it.

After this movie my dad and brother picked Akira and I up, because her mom was going out with her boyfriend and she was going to spend the night. So we came home for a little while and headed to the movie theaters. My dad and brother went to go see the tooth fairy, and me and akira went into Valentines Day 30 minutes later. I loved that movie, so much!! It was really really good. One of the best movies i've seen in awhile. The story line all connected which was great, and the love stories were perfect. It was my kind of movie. Ashton Kutcher, Taylor Laugtner, Julia Roberts, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, and Taylor swift were just a few of the famous names in this movie. Now on the taylor swift drama, people were bagging on her for her role in the movie and it was SO dumb. She did a good job for the person her character was supposed to be. She was supposed to be a dumb, spacey, high school student and she played the part. And you can kind of see the chemistry between her and taylor laughtner in real life showing up. Everyone should get out and see it!

song of the day: Glitter in the air - pink

quote of the day: Once you say you're going to settle for second, that's what happens to you in life - John F. Kennedy

2/19/10

Hey again! For those of you who have been reading for quite sometime, you know that one of the most weirdest earth expirences happened to me. Well you all know that for like a whole year i've been blogging about this guy known as J.D. Well J.D. was gone for quite some time, because he got into some serious trouble. I dont know exactly what happened but something he did was bad and they kicked him out. Well today as I was leaving orchestra I saw him again! In a white shirt and jeans with the most adorable little smile. ugh, it was the cutest thing!! Well then the second time I walked by him, i totally got "ladie issues". The problem was it was earlier than usual and was really suprising. Theres some kind of weird connection between him and be. I wonder if he knows about it though! And it only happens when hes around. When he was gone during the week i felt fine and its not like I missed him or anything. It was just weird.

We had a food day in spanish today. It was quite fun. Everyone had to make food from a spanish speaking country. I personally made Chicken Qusadillas that turned out pretty good. Everyone in my class loved them, and some people got seconds of them. I had 3 tray plates things of them and there were only two left at the end which is pretty good! I was proud of my cookings skills. Other people made meat balls, spanish cake, spanish cookies, meatballs, rice, and someone mom made delicious chicken enchiladas. I was stuffed. Oh and there was the nachos and like 50 million dips for them. It was fun. Then the spanish teacher put it Shrek in spanish for awhile. I didnt understand it well and neither did anyone else so we watched Tiger Woods little speech live.

Speaking of the Tiger Woods apolagy that everyone talking about. I for one did not think it was a good idea. For starters, why the heck is he apolagizing to the world when he didnt cheat on any of us. It was his WIFE that he cheated on and I think its his wife and family he needs to be apolagizing too. He said that he wen too "sex rehab" and thats where hes been the past few day. I personally dont think he needs that rehab. If he really is that in love with love than he should be doing it with his wife. Thats fine with the world but when you have an affair with 17 peoples theres something wrong with you. But he meantioned his wife a lot in the speech and said she didnt hit him. Then our spanish teacher was like " I would have more respect for her if she did hit him". I feel really bad for that woman and the children they have together. I cant really decide if I think they should try and make it work or if she should leave him. For starters he might have stds and that is not stuff anyone wants to be having. Not to meantion once a cheater always a cheater so maybe that woman should find someone more deserving.

song of the moment: Up out my face - Mariah Carey

quote of the day: when love and skill work together except a masterpeice

Hello blog readers! I missed you guys! I wanted to blog all week about diffrent things but I was drowned in homework and I had 4 tests this week. I know excuses, excuses. But i'll fill you in on the things that stuck with me. Tyra was talking about intresting subjects all week! For those of you who dont watch, on wensday Tyra talked about black men and woman asking other black women and men. So you know a long time ago people that were afrian american only wanted to date and marry african americans. but latley the numbers of those people have been much less.

The first person on the show was a mixed man whos mom brought him to the show because he decided he only wants to date white woman from now on. He said its because black woman are more dramatic and "sleep with one fist clenched". I really dont like the whole thing where all african american woman are supposedly angrey. I am not angrey! I dont think i've ever done anything violent and I also dont sleep with my fist clenched. Im sure many of you readers out there dont either. So for the record what do I think about the dating thing? Date people not because of their race but whats inside and how your personalities match. Take my advice, I have great intuition.

Also on the Tyra show she had on these little girls. And she had someone else show them pictures backstage so they could pick who they wanted to marry. She would show them pictures of a janitor than a guy who looks buisness like and they would pick who they wanted to marry? Who do you think they picked? They would all pick the buisness man, movie star, and the guy with a lot of money. This one girl was the extreme case. Her mother was teaching her to love people with money and those who can buy her cute things. So at school theres this little boy and she wont talk to him at lunch unless he gives her a cookie. Then they can chat. This is a seven year old by the way.

Than on valentines day the boy brought her a paper care a stuffed bear. She gave it back to him and told him it looked cheap so she didn t want it. Isen't it amazing the values that people have from such a young age. I mean wheather we admit it or not we all have the image of the perfect guy in our head, but before this show I never realized that that guy is never a hobo or a janitor. Its just in our mind from a young age thats not what a girl wants. Then Tyra had on people that had married for money on the show. There was this couple that was now divorced. The man owned a multimillion dollar company and when the econamy crashed so did his buisness. He had a child with his wife at that time and they ended up divorcing because he coulden't support her the way she though he should and buy her nice things. To me that woman is straight up nuts. Not only did this guy seem like a good guy but he said he loves her even though she was only there for the money. It seems to me that bad things always happen to good people. So ladies, dont go breaking that sweet millionares heart, ok? Make your own money!

Song of the day: Daddy's home - Usher

Quote of the day: You can make more money in 5 minutes through marrige, then you'll make in a whole lifetime of work - the tyra show

2/16/10

Hello! So I know your all dying to know who my perfect match was? Are you reasdy for this it was Geffory Pate. Who is this you ask? He is the guy that sat next to me in 4th grade. He told me I write my "2s" the "lame" way and so I changed it and still write my twos like that too this day. I guess he did have an impact in my life. Who knows? maybe he is my perfect match, but hes the last guy I expected to be on my list or even still on the same planet. But the issue with this match maker is not enough guys filled out the forms so most girls got the same guys in diffrent orders. I think next year they should make EVERYONE fill them out so its really fair. My most compatible friend was Elaine Frank! And we are friends which was pretty cool. I expected some random people. It was all in all a pretty good school day.

You know what bothers me? When people all decide to hate something or someone? What pops in my head when I think this scenario is HSM, Hannah Montanna, and Justin Beiber. I happen to not think any of them are bad. But once someone "cool" decides that something is uncool they all just go against it. Its the dumbest thing. A very wise and attractive boy once put on his status "if everyone is thinking alike, then someones not thinking". Think for yourself and dont follow the crowd. Because if you really do like one of those things then your not the "cool sterotype anyway". I think people who are indivsualistic are the coolest of all becausee they all have their own thoughs and ideas.

I have so many more things I want to blog about but i'm swimming in homework. More posts tommorow.

song of the day: Baby Justin Beiber

quote of the day: If everyone is thinking alike, then someones not thinking

not valentines day anymore

Hello people! I hope you had a fantastic day today. I bet some of you did, you know thsoe of you who have cheap men who broke up with you so they dont have to treat you for valentines day got your men back. I heard a few valentines day stories today, you want to hear the most intresting one? We're sitting in choir and then Ms. Morton goes, guess what I got my boyfriend for valentines day? The choir says "what"? Then Mrs. Morton said a pan. That way he can make me eggs and bacon whenever I ask. I'm in control ladies! A lot of people cheered but i've never been that kind of girl. You know the make your man do stuff for you and treat him un kindly kind. It might be because I dont date but i'm pretty sure if I did I would want the treating to be mutual and I would buy him anything BUT a pan. Maybe that will be diffrent when i'm a 30 year old woman.

So I recieved some other news during choir that really stuck to me. A boy who I went to elementary school with passed away today. His name was Austin Clover. I dont have many memories of us talking, I knew him back in the boys have cooties days. But I do remember that he was the first kid to even fall asleep during a class in elementary, and we all gigled him awake 2 seconds later. I also knew that he was my fourth grade teacher Mrs. Clovers nephew. Austin commited suicide. All day I just coulden't help thinking what happened? He seemed to be a happy child. What could have made him take a gun and shoot himself? Did he have trouble at school? Did kids bully him? But how could it be bad enough to take his life. Did his parents abuse him? Im wondering what made him decide that life was no longer worth living. I hope god makes an acception for this poor 15 year old boy and lets him into heaven. And I also hope his family is ok. His poor mother and father. Apperently they were out of town when he took their saftey gun and did it. I would regret even leaving.

I went to his facebook page and I was wondering what kind of person he was. I read through some of the kind memories and mesages people left on his wall. I couldn't help but think, where were all those people when he put a gun to his head?? where were they??

Tonight is full of great tv shows you should all watch: At 7: One tree hill, and The secret life of the american teenager. 8: celine Dion on larry king live 9: New hour long episode of keeping up with the kardashians

song of the day: Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen (its a beautiul song)

Quote of the day: Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.

Valentines Day!

Hello Loves, and Lovers! How are you all today? Well I bet your pretty good because its a holiday. which holiday you ask? Valentines day! So Happy Valentines Day everyone, I hope its filled with flowers, choclates, and lots of passionate kisses from your special someones or significant others :) My main valentine day activities have ended. I went to church and felt like looking cute so I wore this black and grey stripped sweater dress, with my zebra print heart shapped earings, and leggings tucked into boots (which is pretty sylish over here). After a pretty good church service we came home and I rocked out on my new piano books which has the 100 greatest pop songs of all time. Nothing beats Beat it on the piano (except M.J. singing it ofcourse). Then after that my whole family went out for lunch, we decided on Indian palace which really hit the spot. Then yesturday I made valentines day cupcakes and a cake and so that was dessert. It was a lot of fun , and I didnt feel as partner less as I thought I would.

But taking my weekend a few steps back, on friday I went to a basketball game. It was Freestate verses Olathe east and we won. It had to go to overtime. I have to admit both team were pretty equal in playing styles but we won. My friend Olivia got her brothers car for the night so she drove me which was pretty cool. Then the even i've been waiting for happened!!! No prince didnt call me, and no guy sent me a valentine BUT we are the world came out!!! Which I must admit was almost better. It was so so so so so so so amazing. Please tell me everyone has seen it. I just loved it from the beginning to the end.

Justin Beiber opened up with Lional Richies part and did a pretty good job, but he was holding a lyric sheet which was not so cool. Same with Enrique Iglaias. The best female vocals would probably be a tie between Jennifer Hudson, and Celine Dion. They both sang from their heart and you could tell. There was a newly added Rap part that I feel in love with, I believe I saw LL cool J, Snoop Dog, Chris Rock, Jamie Foxx, T-pain, and Lil wayne rapping out that part for us. Lil Wayne also sang bob dylans part in the original and suprisingly looked really cute. That was the first time I heard him in something that didnt get bleeped out. That is saying something! Kanye West also had a pretty good little rap part. The choir as a whole was also all in tune and fantastic. Miley Cyrus did a great job! As did Joe Jonas. Disney was pretty well represented. But my over all favorite part would have to be the clips that Michael was in. There was this small part where Michael and Janet Jackson sing the chorus together and I really really really really liked it. It was good! I've seen it quite a few times and the song is phenomenal! :)

song of the day: We are the World 25 for Haiti
Quote of the day: Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. ~Author Unknown

Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever. ~Author Unknown

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. ~Author Unknown

A hundred hearts would be too few, To carry all my love for you.~Author Unknown

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip. ~Jonathan Carroll, "Outside the Dog Museum"

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. ~Author Unknown

2/11/10

Hello! How are you? I hope all my readers are doing good. So today was definatley an intresting day. I knew it was going to be intresting from the minute I walked into spanish today. We were going to watch a movie, when I heard the news I was a little devestated at what a bad sign this was. The movies are SO boring, their usually about ancient civilizations and I can barley keep my eyes open. But instead she popped in a very old episode of 20/20. For those of you who aren't into t.v. or are from planet weird 20/20 is a show similar to 60 minutes where they interview people. Its normally not celebritys and dosn't have to wild of stories. Its more of humanitarian peices. Well this was about a vietnamese family. There were a lot of kids I coulden't keep up with the number, but during the vietnam war they were all told to evacuate Vietnam.There family in paticular that they were talking about didn't have a car, just a motorcycle.

So the father took his 3 children and put them on a motercycle. Two girls: one ten and two and then a 7 year old boy. He left them at a corner and then went off to pick up the rest of his family. Those kids waited, and waited but their father never came back. Eventaully people pushed them onto boats and forced them to evacuate. Well they did, and one to got to where they were going they got taken to an orphanage. While they were there, The two year old got sick. They didnt have any good healthcare so baby jenny was told she ahd to be flown in too america. So all three kids got on a plane and came to america. They got adopted, and forgot their langauge completley. 17 years later the son and daughter had graduated from high school and were both married. Jenny was 20 and in collage.

Anyways making a long story short the oldest sister decided she wanted to make a serch for her family. Someone called the number on her phone and said that he knew her parents and family and knew where she could find him. So she planned a trip to go home with her husbad, and her newborn baby along with her brother. Jenny didn't want to go because she didn't have any kind of connection to her families. As they reached the home there was a ton of crying. And just in these tears you can see the diffrence between the american culture and vietnamese culture. That veitnamese faimily was wailing, and crying with a ton of noise. There americans had tears falling from their eyes and they were trying to hid it. The issue was that their family didn't speak english so there was a huge langague barrier. The whole video was really intresting.

After spanish i had a school assembly. It waw the winter sports/activities one. The band played, the cheerleaders cheered, and the step team stepped. We also honored all the members of our school sports team. That includes bowling, basketball, swim team, and wrestling. It ws pretty fun. It also happened to be "little kid day" at school which is just a day where people could dress up like little kids if they wanted too. There was a lot of people in onesies (yes, I guess they make those in fully grown mans sizes). And one of my friends olive wore a matching outfit with her stuffed animal. (Her boyfriend was embarassed to be seen with her all day).
Today was also a diversity club day. I think i've talked a lot of times about how much I love diversity club. I really do, and now that we've done bake sales and stuff we have enough money to start going places and such. So this saturday we can all go see precious as a group. And next saturday we are going to all go eat at this local indian restraunt called Indian Palace. Then afterwards we're all going to go and watch Crash at someones home. It will be a fun little trip paid for by the club. I'm excited for both events.

Diversity club started a discussion that really got me thinking. What I didn't tell you happened at the assembly was the announcment for "cooties for cuties". There were signs all over the school for this for the past two weeks. But none of the signs talked about what it actually was. what it is, is this thing were all the girls recieve pink beads when the arrive to school (cute huh?). Then the girls goal is to not talk to the men all day long. Not a single word. And if the guy gets you to talk to them then you give him your beads. The man with the most beads at the end of the day is labled "Freestates Stud".

When I first heard this I though, well this should be intresting. I dont hang out with too many guys so I didn't think too many people would ask me for them. And I thought those guys who do want to be the stud of the days will probably just go around being like give me your beads But when I got to diversity club Mr. Nussbom brought it up and some of those diversity club girls went off. They were talking about how it was degrading for woman, like they cant talk untill a guy talks to them and they have to give something up at a guys command. I hadn't even though of that!

And they also said some things about how those bead were basically simbalizing virginity and a girl giving them up. The man who screws the most girls is a "stud". And then they were also talking about the shy guys who remain unnoticed who will be sad about not having beads. And what if the guys with a lot of beads tease them. What if things go the wrong way and guys get touchy. We had a long discusion and I figured out that I hadn't though deep enough at all about it. So wish me luck, I hope it dosen't go terribly.

Song of the day: Today was a fairytale

Quote of the day: We would love to have you go to heaven with us - Teen mom

News of the day: Bill Clinton was hospitalised because he was getting chest pains and alexander Mcqueen was found dead in his home. He is a famous designer who made amazing shoes and clothes. It is suspected that he committed suicide.

2/10/10

In choir we weirdly started discussing the racism between light skinned black people and dark skinned black people. Now this was weird because our class has like 5 or 6 black people total out of 95. And the other 90 some people didn't really know it exsisted. So i'm going to talk about it on my blog for some of you who don't know whats going on in the world. Ok so you know black people come in all diffrent colors but basically all of them wants to be "carmel" and non of them want to be "dark choclate". Why does everyone want to be carmel? To tell you the truth I dont know; but I think it may have to do with the fact their fair is easier to deal with. Our choir teacher said that this went way back to the slavery days because lighter skinned people would work in the house because to the whites they were "better to look at" or the children of the slave owner.

I personally have nothing against "carmel" people. But some people out there do. And at the end of the day no one wants to be really dark. I think it may have something to do with men. You know men cause most of the problems in this world. Most black guys perfer light skined girls. Or so i've noticed. At least in kansas and everywhere else i've been . In Tanzania this whole who wants to be dark thing has reached the point where most everyone is bleaching their skin. And using certain "natural" things to make them lighter. I would know, I have two black cousins who are no very very carmel. And next time you see and auntie visit from Africa cheack out how she looks and she is shes light. Not everyone is doing this but its very commen.

Ok so now for some Michael Jackson news. Hes one of the most famous people who've gone from black to white. Now he didn't choose this people. He had vitilago, but for you non believers who never believed the story, the autopsy came out. And in it it said that he had vitalago and it was the worst on his face, chest, neck, and hands. There you go people! The autopsey also said some other things. Like he had a ton of little scars everywhere that seem to have been from surgery. Yes, that probably means there was a little big of plastic surgery involved. And that gorgeous long hair that I dream of (on me not him!), it was a wig. Underneath the autopsey said that he had about an inch and a 1/2 of curley ethnic hair. He apperently also had some secret tattoos including on his eyebrows or eyes to have dark looking eyebrows and eyeliner. And he also have a pink tattoo near his mouth. I personally think it must be surrounding it to make the vitilago thing look more natural.

Dr. Conrad Murray was trialed for involuentary man slaughter. He pleaded not guilty and this just begins the whole big drama thats going to unfold based on this trail. I hate murray and think he should get life inprisentment for killing a pop icon.

quote of the day: "sorry whites only". This has to do with a story someone in choir told. Shes a mixed girl and she went to visit her white cousins in minnesota. her cousin is a 7 years old girl. They had gone to the park and she was watching the little ones play. There were playing like ring around the rosie or some game similar to that when this black boy comes up and asks if he can play. Then this other white girl goes sorry whites only. (its a sad story)

Spanish class discussionsn (what is written below is not my personal opinion, I dont mean to offend anyone"

In spanish we discussed a lot of things, and how did it start? Well it all began when this one boy in spanish said that he had an ax in his truck. Then the spanish teacher said she didnt think thats alright. And if he wanted to make sure he should try and take that ax to the airport. Then we began talking about airport security. Then this one guy name billy said, "I think that we should let any of those israeli people on plains". Then they were choruses of, " Amen brother, thats right!". And then C.B. goes I dont think anyone with a name that you have to make that throat thing should be allowed on either. Dont get me wrong this wasn't everyones opinion, but some people were agreeing. So anyways, then we got into talking about extremists; then our teacher told us about hte 72 virgins. Have you heard of that? So apperently these extremists believe that when they die by killing a plane full of innocent americans that they will go to heaven, and in heaven there will be 72 virgins awaiting for the "heros" to sleep with. Weird, or what. (I dont mean to offend anyone)

Then from the attacking people we got into the topic about how americans also kill. Right here in kansas a man walked into a church and killed a doctor. Now this wasn't just your average doctor, this was an abortion doctor. You might know him, they called him Dr. Tiller the baby killer. I'm not really sure what my veiws on abortion are. I mean I would never, ever have one. But anyways this doctor was for long term abortions. So what he would do was deliver the babys and then smash their heads with hammers. Its awful. Or they would deliver babys and just leave them to starve and die. Its terrible. So this man decided he would kill him, and be the hero. Was he a hero though? Thats what I kept thinking in my mind. Killing someone is never good, but how many lives of innocent babies did this guy save? That makes it a good thing right.

On the subject of abortions our teacher told us about her struggle to have her daughter. She said she had 3 miscarriges before she eventually produced Olivia. And she was talking about what a precious gift it was that she was able to get pregnant with her and everything. And how she went to her two week appointment and her daughter already had a brain and a heart beat and everything. Then she was telling us about all the people who would love to adopt a child, especially an infant. Then this one guy in our class told us about his little brother. this leads to a diffrent story....

He said that his dad and step mom really wanted a baby. So bad! They then decided to adopt, but this baby had to be a blond, blue eyed caucasian. Whats up with that? Would it be the end of the world if they got a hispanic or asain baby? That stuck as odd to me. I mean I understand that they want him to feel like part of the family and everything, but idk. somehting sounded weird about that to me.

Now this same guy who told that story, I had a crush on a little while ago. Today when he walked in class and asked if he could cheat of my homework. At first I Was like no, but then he said please and I was like thats ok. So he copied and while he was copying he said, " I love you mariam" and it was so weird. I was kind of silent for awhile and then he goes "we should be like brother and sister". And I was like yup, we should. It was a weird expirence but he dosen't like me like that. He just likes the fact I let him cheat off me.

After first hour I got some more guy news. Did I ever meantion how J.D. comes into my chemistry class every morning and says hi to my chemistry teacher. I thought it was because he was a sweet guy who appriciates those who educte him...well I was wrong. he happens to be in Olivia W. 's first hour class and after he said hello and stuf to her this morning olivia heres him say "That FINE ass Ms. Rose", and some other things about how "hot" she was EW! The guy I like has a thing for my chemistry teavher. Weird or not.

I think that was just a sign that Prince is better then him. He would never do something weird like have a crush on my chem teacher!!

song of the day: PYT Michael Jackson

Quote of the day: "Doctor Tiller the baby killer"

Dreams and more

I've been having the weirdest dreams latley. But they all have to do with the ones on my mind. Thsoe cute boys. On saturday night I had a dream about being in this classroom that I didn't recognize which class it was. Then I was sitting next to Jake B. We were talking and stuff and I said something like "snakes are scary buisness you dont want to mess with them". Then he pulled one out of his desk and it started attacking him. It was weird because on some parts I wasn't looking through my eyes I was looking from above. I watched as he was getting eaten by the snake but turning into a big puddle of blood, I was freaking out but the real me was falling asleep on the desk. It was so weird. But anyway there was this big commotion with lets pray for poor jacob. It was weird but they were going to solidify him somehow. And I was really sad and cryign the whole time, and I was like hes dead, hes dead I know it! Oh no, I cant believe I fell asleep and didnt do anything. It ending with this big prayer assembly in this huge auditoriam. It was totally weird.

Then yesturday I had a dream about triple A (I love that name, but i'm discussing Prince). So it was really weird and when I say the first words dont freak out or take it the wrong was. I was sleeping in my bed in the dream, and when I woke up I turned around then there he was, cute as ever. And I Was like "tripple A!" (only I said his real name). Then he was like Hey, and we hugged. I dont think we've ever hugged in real life so this was delightful in the dream. And I was like what are you doing here? And he goes, i'm on a hideout. And I was like OMG! Are you ok did something happen?? And hes like i'm being chased by this girl from wichita, she wants me dead. And I was like OH no!! then had a tear coming down my cheak. Then he was like no worries i'll be ok. then I was like whos the girl? And he goes....ready for this...Kate Winslet! :) And I'm like oh no shes vicious. And I started sobbing because I was so scared for him and he held me. And I stopped and then we chatted a little. then my dad shouted my name from upstairs saying I had to go to school. So I said goodbye to him, more hugging and he hid out in my room. What do you think these two dreams mean?

What are your guys veiws on Karma? For those of you who dont know Karma is the punishment or good deads you recieve depending on how you live your life. It seems to me that in my family, some people think that if you do something bad it can happen to someone else in your family. Want some proof that this does happen? Ok so we know this guy name Dully. He married this woman named Asha and it was an amazing wedding. It was practically perfect; the songs were wonderful and the whole thing was a dream. After the wedding they planned to move to Canada together. Well she moved and he didnt. He found someone else. And being a guy he slept with what was close. He decided to sell all his wifes things and moved in with this new woman, sending that other woman divorce papers. Terrible huh? Well his little brother married this woman who later left him. Does it not seem like a coincidence to you?? tell me what you think.

Fun fact: So I felt like adding this for my memory. I was sitting in the computer laugh when I heard the weirdest sneeze. It was really cute. Then walks by J.D., and we make eye contact. he has a cute sneeze. (I know what your thinking, this is really movie slow motions, it is!)

song of the day: Who knew - by Mariam Ali (one of my new songs)

quote of the day: What goes around, comes around, what goes up must go down. - From the song Karma by Alicia Keys

I just came back from seeing the movie Dear John. I dont want to give it away for those of you who haven't seen it yet but it was good and bad. I would have written the whole things completley diffrently. Dont get me wrong it had its phenomenal parts but it didnt go the way that I wanted it too. But you should all go judge for yourself and check out Dear John. In theaters near you.

While watching Dear John there was a boy I just could not get out of my head. What are you guys guessing, I mean i've talked about many boys on here. Well let me describe him to help you out with the guessing process. Hes really cute, and very talented. And is just screaming mariam's type? Did you guess yet. Anyways this boy was in my head and it got to me on how much I wanted the romance from Dear John with him. I have a feeling he dosen't feel the same way though which is terrible. I wont know untill I ask or something but...I want someone to love me that way. To care for me, and to be my whole life. Not nessecairily now, but i'd like to think that some day I will get a fairytale romance. I'll be crazy in love and nothing will matter except me and him. When do I get this?? and how??? ....

I just want to be loved......

song of the day: Hero - Enrique Iglasias (who was in the we are the world remake by the way)

quote of the day: No matter where you are in the whole world the full moon is never bigger then your thumb - Dear John

Barriers are nearly impossible to break. This realization came to me during lunch, which i've been enjoying because I have it with some of my closest friends. Akira, Taz, Olivia, and Olive. Its a nice chance for us to talk and it was fun filling out our matchmaker sheets together as well.But anyways, Taz brought up the fact that last year we had planned on sitting with the special needs kids during one lunch period and we both pretended to forget so we didnt have too. We joined Freddies friends and the whole point of that is to break down barriers between special needs kids and average kids. But then I realized, you cant. no matter how hard you try those people will never be the same and as long as you can see and here you know that. Same with barriers between blacks and whites and asains and hispanics. The treatment of each other could get better but they can never be broken because each group will always be a certain thing.

Valentines day is around the cornor and I am....dateless. I've spent every valentines day of my life without a valentine. I must tell you the truth though. I have my secret votes of what would happen? What would the perfect valentines day be. Roses or just one red rose with a little teddy bear attached. Im not a chocalate person so thats not a good idea with me. Then a couple days before it would be great to get an email with an mp3 attached asking, will you be my valentine? Or in person. Its kind of out there but whats the point of life if not to dream big.

I'm going to go watch meet the parents now. bye

Song of the day: Mr. Lonley - Akon (I think that was the first song I heard by him, I think everyone can kind of relate to it now with the V- day craziness.
Quote of the day: Thats a nice Vahse you have over there. Is that another one of your secret camaras. booga booga BOO! No greg, thats an earn that holds the remains of Jacks mother. - Meet the parents
Breakout news of the day: Has anyone heard of the song puff the magic dragan or the cartoon called that? Well apperently when the song was originally written it was reffering to puff (as in smoke) the magic dragan (weed). to think little kids sing that song. Why must everything have a secret meaning

2/4/10

You know a pet peeve of mine. Stereotyping, especially against my favorite celebrities and their children. What am I referring too you wonder? Michael Jackson and his kids. An uncle of mine came over today and asked if I watched the Grammies. I said yes I did, and I loved them. Mentioned my favorite performances and said prince and Paris's speech was the sweetest thing. Then he goes, "It would be nice if they were his real children". That just bothers me. For starters no one knows if their his or if their not. My personal belief is that their his children, because for starters common sense people. If they were adopted then the adoption papers and stuff would have surfaced along time ago. Its M.J. we're talking about.

Secondly, I don't understand why they cant be his kids. That always confuses me. He's a man and he has the ability to impregnate women. does he not? Why is it so far out there that he could have produced children like everyone else? And the third thing is of course they look white. I'm not blind I can see well that they look white. BUT I can also see that they have brown hair, which is what a child with a blond mother, and black haired father would have. And they have rounded noses. Black people have rounded noses. And my third point is that their not pale. Their not like pale white. If you look they have a little color to them and I don't think its from a tanning booth. Although prince was born blond, his hair is not longer that shade. It darkened with age along with his hair. But his mother had blue eyes. Keep that in mind people. Are you still a non believer?? If you are remember this, even if their not blood he raised those babies and loved them with all his heart. A father is the person that raised the kids and thats him.

Enough about that though. On a similar note Tyra did a show on stereotyping today. She had a black man, an obese caucasian woman, a "goth" caucasian woman with blue hair, and an arabic muslim woman. Then she got 4 people to describe what they think their like while they weren't saying anything. They weren't even allowed to make communication. The things the people said were terrible. They assumed so much about these people, but truth be told I was thinking some of the same things about some of those people. As was my father. We tried to make our honest judgments on them before the other people said anything. We were on the same page with the goth lady but with the other people they took it too far. It was good to watch though and see that appearance and the way you dress really does affect the way people see you. I know we all want to look inside but think of it this way. If you saw a man who looked dirty like hair unbrushed and smelled kind of bad would you approach them wanting to date or be friends? no right. Well thats because of their appearance. Although its hard we should all try and look past the first things we see and look deeper.

So guess what I did today? I filled out a matchmaker sheet along with all my friends. My school is doing this set up thing where you answer 34 questions and they give you your top 5 perfect matches. I answered mine honestly and I'm kind of curious as to who ill get. It might be the start of something. who knows?

I'm on a song writing kick!! I wrote 2 songs in the last two days. I guess i've been listening to my heart and singing what is down there. :)

song of the day: Like a prayer - Madonna

quote of the day:Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. - William Shakesphere

2/3/10

Its been a pretty big 2 days for me. Well not me personally but all the people I like to follow. On monday Lional Richie and Quincey Jones recorded we are the world at the same location as last time. There were 100 celebrities there and not just singers. Keri Hilson, Usher, the jonas brothers, nicole richie, joel maden and their daughter, Celine Dion, and just so many artists were there to sing it. It comes out on February twelfth and i'm sure its going to be as amazing as it was 25 years ago!! Now the rumer's have started on what is going to happen with Michael Jackson's part of the song. It is speculated that they will keep his voice for at least one of the choruses and Janet will take his place for the rest. It should be really cool! And it is also said the prince, paris, and blanket will read a Maya angelou poem to end the recording. how sweet right! I cant wait for that to come out!!

I watched the Tyra show today! I just love love love the Tyra show. I cant believe its ending. The saddest part about that is that I haven't been watching lately because my parents or grandpa are always around when its on and its awkward to be around them during some of the topics. Today they were talking about people with two vaginas! It actually happens, no joke. There were 5 woman on stage who both had this. And it affected them differently. Over half of them said they didn't know until they gave birth. The whole thing was kind of weird but girls, and maybe even guys I suggest you watch it. Then there was also a woman with gigantic legs. She was born un-proportionally. and her legs just never stopped growing. It was really sad the problems she faces lateley. And she hadn't been on a date in 6 years and that was the least of her problems. Pray for her people. She seems like a sweet girl who doesn't deserve to go through these struggles.

And the super bowl is this sunday. To me and the readers of people its not even about the saints and the indiana team. Its about Kendra vs. Kim Kardashian. Reggie is playing on behalf of Kim (her boyfriend) and Hank is playing of behalf of Kendra (hubbie).

Today my spanish teacher told me the most interesting thing. Ok so what measures a persons achievement in life? Like what signs show success? The first thing that came to my mind was how much they make. The second thing that came to my mind was their IQ. But the correct answer never popped into my head at all. What measures a persons IQ from a young age is their emotional/mental appearance. The people of all ages who are the most honest and have the good humane traits are naturally smarter. Our teacher told us about the people who's parents sign them up for tutoring and sports and sacrifice their time with them in order to get their children ahead. That doesn't help them , it actually hurts them. What kids need is more of those family dinners, and love. and teaching them the morals that make them good people. It really made sense to me. Because i'm the only black person in my advanced classes and I think that may be because I have those values instilled in me. I also happen to be the only one who says thank you to the bus driver as we're leaving.

We as a generation are getting so much lass social. We dont really meet new people, because when we're in a room full of strangers the first thing we do is put in our headphones and start texting someone that we do know. And people don't know their neighbors anymore. It used to be that your neighbors were like your parents and watched out for you. The best example of the fact that this generation sucks is my chemistry class. Our teacher asked us which birthdays are important. I raised my hand and said your first birthday because thats you know the first one its a pretty big deal. And then the next person to raise their hand said 21. and she asked why? and he said because you can drink. And everyone was like YEAH! and then this other girl goes 16, because you can drive and might get a car. And then this other girl raised her hand and said 18 because you can buy cigarettes and porn. If that doesn't scream problem tell me what does. Dont be those people guys. It your reading a blog as good as this you are definatley better then that.

Song of the day: We are the world

quote of the day: Just because their michael jackson's kids dont mean they could sang. They could have voices like fingernails on a chalkboard. We dont know! - Lady from the insider

52nd Annual Grammy's 2010

I think this years Grammy awards may have been the best ever. I love the Grammys. I give up everything to watch those awards. I wish it was more than just once a year though. The red carpet was fantastic but my worst dressed award goes to Katy Perry. It was a hidious dress. It was like this beige color and it was long sleeved. double eww. Not everyone can rock the long sleeved dress. shes pretty but not that pretty. Miley Cyrus looked pretty cute in hers though but it had a stylish cut. Beyonce looked beautiful. Her hair was straightened perfectly and there was definatly some extentions for those who care. She was also blond. Lady gaga looked crazy as usual but we love her anyways. Taylor swift looked gorgeous BUT the top of her dress was a little awkward for me. She pulled it off though. Iyaz and Jason Deuro looked pretty good. Lil wayne wore a t-shirt and jeans. Hes going to jail soon and I personally think the fashion police should be the ones putting him in hand cuffs. Rihana wore this white gown that was just ugly. I'm sorry there is no other way to put it. It was like a turtleneck long white dress with some feathers involved. Her outfit 2 years ago was way better.

Now enough about the outfits. The Grammys themselves were pretty good. The show was opened by Lady Gaga who sang Poker Face and did a duet with a piano involving Elton John. It was definatly cute. Then the next performance went to Pink. OMG! Pink is a phenomenal singer and performer. Her voice was to die for and she did the trapeeze stuff that just left you with your mouth open. It was amazing, but she did do the whole thing with only a few strands of tap covering her. She left it all for the world to see, wish I had her confidence. Beyonce performed like a boy, and added a lot of stuff too it. It was a great performance, she left me open mouthed also. Taylor swift did you belong with me, and another song with this country singer who was one of her idols. It was nice. not too over the top. Lil Wayne, Drake, and Eminem were good, but what bugs me about the rap performances is that half of it is bleeped out anyways. Jamie Foxx and T-pain did blame it and I loved that one as well. The performances were great.

Cute moments: Justin Beiber was presenting. And he was supposed to be remindig people about the bon jovi song. But his eyes were all over beyonce. and he goes "dont forget to vote for the beyonces---I mean bon jovi song. Sorry guys but beyonce is ALWAYS on my mind". It was so cute. Hes one girl crazy boy.

The ofourse we had the Michael Jackson Tribute. Usher, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, Celine Dion, and Smokey Robinson sang earth song along with the voice of michael himself. Then there was a video from what was supposed to be in the this is it performance in there as well. It was in 3-D so all the celebrities had on their glasses and if you had some at home you would also see it in 3 D. The song was great amazing vocals. And he won the lifetime achievment award, and Prince, and Paris accepted it for them. They looked sooo cute. They were both wearing black jackets with red straps accross their arm like their dad wears. Then prince had a white shirt and black tie with black pants along with his. Paris wore a cute white buisnessy top and pants. She looked beautiful. She cute her hair and got glasses. It was just adorable. Prince did a little bit of stuttering but the world got to hear his voice. Its deep! I was imagining the little blond prince boy voice in my mind but he is a MAN now. He also got a haircut. Paris just said a few words "Daddy was supposed to be here. We love you daddy" and they walked off. They were escorted by their big cousins. I was wondering this whole time where Joe, and Janet and the whole clan was. Well Randy Jackson put on twitter "I am so proud of my brother for wining the award. I would have loved to be there but the truth is my family wasn't invited. By my family I mean me, my parents and my brothers and sisters. " Its a shame they said they would only like paris and prince. But im sure they were all so proud to see them on tv.

song of the day: Earth Song - tribute version

quote of the day: Sorry but beyonce is always on my mind - Justin Beiber