About Me

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My name is Mariam and through this blog I'm discovering things about the world, and about myself. Through all my blogs you'll see craziness, political insight, celebrity mania, musical interest, total drama queen-ness,all about boys, and ever changing views on everything. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it. You're about read the pages of my epic diary. Welcome to my world, and feel free to come back ;)

Monday, December 31, 2012

Top News Stories of 2012

Celebrity Stories :

1. Beyonce and Jay Z were pregnant with their first child this year. Blue Ivy was born on Janurary 7th to two very proud parents. She came out cute as a button, despite her moms weird baby bumps. Everyone saw the video of Beyonce's bump looking a bit jelly like and slipping under her dress. I've never been pregnant, so I can't tell you if that happens or not. But I can tell you I believe that the baby is really King B's. I don't see why they would fake a pregnancy, and even if they did the public has no right to judge them or speculate. If she says it's her baby, it's her baby.



2. Chris Brown made more then enough headlines this year and unfortunately, they weren't all for his incredible talent and funny role in Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man. I can think of a million and one news stories about this man this year, but lets cover the highlights:

  • Chris was criticized for getting a tattoo of Rihanna's beat up face. According to Chris, this was so false. It turns out that the tattoo was of a Mexican day of the day doll. I can KINDA see the similarity. Let's give Mr. Brown the benefit of the doubt on that one. 
  •  Then there was the weird club fight between Chris's people and Drake's people supposedly over Rihanna. One of Chris's people threw a bottle to Drake's side and that started the whole violent mess. No word on who one. 
  • If I had to guess, I would say that it was Chris. Rihanna was spotted soon after greeting Chris with a hug and a kiss at an award show. Keep in mind this was while he was dating Kaurrache.  Fast forward the weird video breezy posted on twitter about how difficult it is to be in love with two women.He couldn't decide even though everyone knew the obvious answer was Rihanna (she had just gone on national television proclaiming and crying over the fact that Chris was her one true love). 
  •  Eventually RiRi won and they've been posting instagram pics ever since. I have a feeling it'll be a love that lasts this time. He won't make the same mistake again.


3. 2012 was proclaimed the year of engagements and surprise weddings* by People magazine. I was in Africa when I heard that Liam put a ring on it. I'm incredibly happy for Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth. The last song is not only one of my favorite books, but one of my favorite movies. They met on that set, and I think they may be one of the hollywood couples that make it lost. Miley's hair made headlines on its own, but Liam didn't fear or run away. I'm sure he thinks his wife looks beautiful no matter what. Too bad he's off the market.

      * Surprise Weddings : Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel as well as Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. 



4. For every fairytale wedding, there was a not so magical divorce. Keep in mind we live in America where 50% of all unions end in divorce. Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise ended their marriage. It was one many people didn't see coming. Tom Cruise was the guy that jumped on Oprah's couch because he was so happily in love. Love fades. Tom and Katie are now free to be the best parents they can be for their baby girl Suri. No looking back now.


5.  The royals were filled with every kind of news story possible. Lets start with the good news. The Duke and Dutchess of Cambridge less formally known as William & Kate are currently expecting the heir to the throne. In commenor talk, their having a royal baby! It's so exciting! They had to let the cat out of the bag early because Kate suffered from severe morning sickness. This is very common for women who are pregnant with twins, so it might be two royal babies. If your wondering what will happen, if they are twins like I was this is it. If one of the children born is a boy, he will be the heir to the throne despite being born first or second. Will & Kate can't ask for a particular baby to be taken out first, it's the doctors choice based on what's best for the little babies and the mother. But don't get excited yet, it may not be twins. The baby might not be such a surprise seeing as Kate was all over tabloids sunbathing topless. Will likes a naughty girl..

Speaking of Naked Royalty lets get to  Prince Harry's Vegas weekend. It was worth of an entire E! special. I had the pleasure of watching it. Henry came to America on the queens behalf, because of the Diamond Jubilee. He was on his best behavior for most of the trip, but ended up in Vegas. I guess the saying what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas doesn't apply to royalty. Rumor has it he had a swimming competition with Ryan Lochte while partying, the selected a few blond women to go up to his room with him. They played strip poker and the smartest of the blond bunch realized how much she could make off the pictures. She didn't hesitate to sell them to every possible magazine.



6. Keeping up with the Kardashians never disappointing, especially with this new round of love and drama. It was a big year for Kourtney and her long time boyfriend Scott. They welcomed their second child together Penelope Scottland Disick. She is such a cutie, and Kourtney pulled her out herself just like she did with Mason. The world wasn't quite as surprised this time around.

Kim and Kanye found love in a hopeless place. It all started with his line about falling in love with Kim the same time she started falling in love with him in Theraflu. Next thing you know Kim was wearing all black and driving his cars. They were going to award shows together and taking plenty of fabulous get-a ways. Kim is still a married women, so there can't be any wedding bells in the near future for these two. It's looking pretty serious though.

*Update : Last night Kanye broke the news that 2013 will bring a baby KIMYE. He made the announcement at one of his shows by saying "stop the music, can we make some noise for my baby mama". Rumor has it that Kim is 12 weeks pregnant and the baby was conceived during their romantic Italian gettaway in celebration of her 32nd birthday. I'm over joyed for them, but sad that Khloe can't have similar news after trying so long. I'm also disappointed, because a baby means no fairytale wedding special. Kanye is so private, there probably will be no more E! specials. So sad.

Rob Kardashian, the youngest of the Kardashian clan (not including the Jenner girls) also found love this year. Not only did he go on a date with Rihanna, but he was dating Rita Ora on and off. They were quite the cute couple posting pictures. He unfollowed everyone, but her on twitter. It was quite adorable. Just a couple weeks though, Rob confessed that she cheated on him with twenty other men. One of them was non other then the newly skinny Jonah Hill. Poor Rob, better luck next time.



7. Sorry ladies, but Frank Ocean is off the market. For us at least. Turns out he prefers the company of men. This stirred a lot of mixed feelings from the public and the fans. He even made a line in Lil Waynes song Turn on the Lights "No Frank Ocean, I'm straight". Honestly Thinking Bout You was a little too good to be true. Whatever floats his boat. He was honored with multiple Grammy nominations, so 2013 is looking to be a great year for him.



8. This year we lost an icon : Whitney Houston . Whitney was known fro all kinds of drama, but no one can deny her of having god given talent. Listening to her voice even in the last days will take your breath away. I believe she died of cardiac arrest and was found dead in the bath tub. She left behind her baby girl Bobbi Kristina and her Godson Nick. The most touching moment of the whole grand farewell would have to be when Ray J. sobbingly reached out for the casket when it passed by. You could tell the love they had was real despite the age difference. Other memorable moments include Bobby Brown leaving the event before its even begun and the casket being removed to I Will Always Love You. If that didn't jerk some tears, I don't know what will.


9. Jessica Simpson was subject to lots of media scrutiny this year. Poor Jessica not only had what seemed like the longest pregnancy of all time, but she gained a lot of weight in the process. I don't think its right to be so weight concerned during pregnancy. She was right to put the health of the baby in front of her own personal vanity. She ended up making money out of the 60 pound weight gain by making a deal with Weight Watchers. She was very successful on the program only to find out...she's pregnant again. Congrats to Jessica and the whole Simpson family. Every baby is a blessing.



10. Then there are the stories even I'm tired of. Kristen cheated on Rob with her director. Boo Hoo, Sad Story *drake voice*. I think cheating is bad, but I also believe more attention was put on the situation, because Kristen is a girl. When guys cheat, it's ok. I think it should get the same negative reaction no matter what gender the person doing the cheating is. It's wrong. Lets also accompany this with Lindsey Lohan is still crazy. I can't even tell you how many times she was arrested.

"That's When You'll Be, More then a memory" : 2012 Events & Trends

2012 Events :


Olympics took place in England this year and the whole event was quite spectacular. The queens comical video started off the ceremony. Royalty was in attendance for all the biggest events. The United States won this year as always. Some of the more popular participants include Gabby Douglas (who's last name spells out USA Gold), Ryan Locte (USA), Tom Daley (U.K.) , and Usain Bold (Jamaica). The talent was out of this world, but what I won't forget is the Spice Girls reunion. Those girls still got it.






President Barack Obama won his re-election after a lengthy, ugly campaign. He was running against Governor Mitt Romney and wont pretty much by a landslide. Certain southern states like Texas threatened to cecede from our great nation, but they got over it. Everyone know's Obama is the best man for the job. He won Time's person of the year again. The popular quote from his winner speech was, "We are greater than the sum of our individual ambitions, and we remain more than a collection of red states and blue states. We are and forever will be the United States of America."



Along with all the happy events, there were sad ones to accompany them. This was the year that Hurricane Sandy hit the American east cost with great force and left people without running water and electricity for days. There was the terrible shooting in an Aurora, Colorado movie theater, and more recently the killing of the Newton elementary students. America cried together as a nation for the loss of life that plagued our own. We hope and pray 2013 will bring a better tomorrow.




2012 Trends :


1. 50 shades of Grey was the book series that took over the nation. It came to America in paperback form and women all over the nation couldn't put it down. E.J. James was the mysterious women behind this whole phenomenon. People were surprised to find out that the author was a married, mother of two. The book originated as a Twilight fan fiction. It's basically twilight + sex. Christian Grey is this rich executive who falls in love with Anastasia Steele. They're the hottest couple since The Notebook, and the twist added to the story is something you'll never see coming.






2. The Hunger Games movie came out. I personally was over the series before it even started, because I read the books and knew the ending was a disappointment. Like most of America's young people I went to the midnight premiere. Who wouldn't want to stare at Liam Hemsworth for a couple hours.




3. Music sensations did big things this year. Taylor Swift released another five star album called Red. She sold over a million albums in one week, and I was impressed. The hits for me were Begin Again, Red, I Knew You Were Trouble, Stay Stay Stay, and Girl at Home.  

One Direction became the new craze for young girls all around the nation. The five British boys :  Zayn, Liam, Nial, Louis, and Harry made everyone fall in love. Including Ms. Swift. Her and Harry are Hollywood's newest couple.



No one can steal Justin Bieber's thunder (except the grammy's with that huge snub). 
Him and Selena broke up and made up. He was one of the highlights of the Victoria Secret Fashion Show. His biggest headline wasn't about his love life though. Justin tweeted how upset he was about someone stealing his laptop while he was performing. The "theif" went on to create a twitter and claimed to have inappropriate videos that he would release. On the day of the release, everyone couldn't wait to see what it was. Turns out it was the Beauty and  A Beat video aka the best marketing scheme of all time. He also directed the whole thing on his own. Nicki Minaj killed her feature without getting her hair wet.








4.iPhone's were the phone to have. The iPhone only emoji's took over the internet world along with Words With Friends, Instagram , and SnapChat.


5. New Vocabulary:

YOLO : Drake started it in his song The motto. Yolo stands for You Only Life Once. People basically used it as an excuse for every mistake they made this past year.

Rachet : definition : A ghetto girl who is loud and obnoxious and constantly causing drama and usually trashy.

Swerve: If Drake was inventing words, best believe Kanye was too. This was used in Mercy. definition : It Is Often Used To Imply Dodging Someone.

Cray :  Just a different way of saying something's crazy.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

"Everythings adding up, you've been to hell and back, that's why your bad as eff and you know you are.."

It's kind of one of those days where I feel extremley single. I had these days a lot on posts from years past, but then I decided to keep them to myself just in case an extremely attractive basketball player wanted to make sure I wasn't lame, or so someone who didn't feel the same way couldn't portray me as desperate. Hiding my lame feelings kind of ruined the personal side of the blog. 2012 was  year where many found love. I got to see my first friend ever get married, which is undescribable. She was a beautiful bride, and they were the perfect little family.I also had the closest think to a long term relationship. No, I still haven't officially dated anyone or anything. Here's the story. I basically experienced Catfish, but less weird because I was aware of all the guys flaws a chose to talk to him anyway. He was about ten years older then me, and we met at my aunts pre-wedding party. He messaged me on facebook, and we started talking. I wasn't all that attracted to him, but I liked the fact that he liked me. We had some pretty good conversations and talked constatley for like 3 months. I guess at 3 months I was feeling more unfufilled. I knew that it would never work out, because we don't even live on the same continent. But the age difference, my feelings changing, and everything else started adding up, and I pretty much ended it. We don't really communicate anymore.

I thought that in college it would be really easy to meet someone since there are thousands of people. It really wasn't. I met a couple guys, literally a couple. They were nice, but I guess I just don't really know what to do. I'm not one who knows how to play "the game". I don't know how to like the right instagram post and say the right flirty things on twitter. I try to dress up, but I'm not a size two or even a size six. I can't blame anyone but myself. Most people are looking for the perfect person. Especially the people that I like. I can't tell you how many tweets on my timeline are about love for red-skinned girls, back dimples, blonds and a milllion other things i'm not. I'm not saying this out of bitterness or anger. I'm confident in myself and proud of the person I am. I finished my first semester of college with a 4.0 and not many people can say that. I've stuck by my religion despite the fact that most people my age stray to get more freedom. There are qualities about myself are something I'm proud of.

I recently heard the song by Neyo on the radio called Don't Make Em Like You. They talked about a girl that was pretty girl tipsy, got a college degree, and makes her mama proud. Drakes song Make Me Proud talks about a girl that "sound so smart, like you graduated college". That's the girl I want to be. But I want to be a little rachet to. I wouldn't mind being the girl from practice or Turn on the lights. You can be smart and fun....just saying. My older boy cousin is someone I always look to for advice when he's around anyways. I told him about my love life the past two years. I told him about how I humiliated myself in more ways then one and all the cheesy stories. After he heard everything, probably some details he'd rather not know of he came up with a brilliant conclusion. It goes that way "that guys a fool". It doesn't sound like magic now, but when we talked through the reasons why he came out the loser not me, it seemed to make sense. I know that I'm a girl with worth. If guys can't see that because I don't come with Nicki Minaj's butt and Kim's size two their the ones missing out not me. And lets be real, most of them are still single. They thought they could do better but obviously not. Which brings up Jojo in the Marvins Room remix I listnen to when I get in the why am I single, cry me a river "Baby i'm the best so you can't do better".

I don't really know what i'm trying to get out of this. Just putting some thoughts together. I probably sound like the lame girl I'm trying not to be. But apolagizing for how I feel is like saying sorry for being real. In case your wondering, the attitude is back. With a vengence.

song of the day: Make Me Proud - Drake

Quote of the day : Apologizing for how you feel is like saying sorry for being real. - a brilliant person on twitter

Friday, December 28, 2012

Top Television Shows & Moments of 2012 : "A Dolla Make You Holla Honey Boo Boo Child"

Top Ten Television Shows and Moments of 2012

1. "Blair Cornelia Waldorf, Will you Marry Me" - Chuck Bass. This sounds like a simple moment, because plenty of people get married in all kinds of big ways all around the world. I've been waiting five seasons to hear those words though. Chuck and Blair were that couple in Gossip Girl that everyone wanted to see end up happily ever after and the season finally gave them that. Their song Henry Bass couldn't be cuter either. And we finally figured out who Gossip Girl was...or should I say Gossip Guy. It was Dan Humphrey, the apparently self proclaimed "lonely boy". I was glad to see everyone ending up where they belong. I'm going to miss my favorite television show.



2. The season finally of one of the longest running series on television : One Tree Hill (CW) . I have been super obsessed with this series for the last couple of years. It's about dreaming big, falling in love, heart ache, marriage, and crazies. I was very sad to see it end, but happy to see Jamie grow up to be the new Nathan. Everyone got their happy ending with a spouse and babies. At the end of the day that's all most people are looking for right?

3. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo : I didn't watch very many episodes of Toddlers in Tiaras, so I had no idea what to expect when I turned on Honey Boo Boo and her families reality show. If you haven't watched you better "redneckonize" what you're missing out on. "A dolla make you holla honey boo boo child". Their little sayings and nicknames for each other really make the show. They are a very real American family. Ok, maybe a little more country then mos tare, but it's funny to see real people for once. You couldn't pretend to be that way for all the money in the world. It's really reality. Everything from their pet pig no chickadee trying to gain weight instead of lose it made it one of the most memorable shows of the year.



4. Catfish (MTV) : I watched the movie when it came out on DVD forever ago. It was heartbreaking and eye opening, but the show is simply hilarious. Nev, was a guy who fell in love over the internet only to figure out the women wasn't anywhere close to what she said she was. So now, he's helping people figure out their online loves. The funniest episode was Jasmine and Mike. I don't want to give anything away but Mhissy is a must thing. Check it out next time it's on.



 This year I was obsessed with these African American couple reality shows. They were very real and living the dream. Pretty girls dating these successful black men who just have a whole lot of love for each other. It's too bad drama and the price of success always gets in the way. But some of the couples get through it all and stick together. They have each others back. It's too cute for words.

5. Chrissy and Mr. Jones : They had their first season this year, and it was fantastic to watch. Their both pretty laid back personalities, but they put everything they have in their relationship. Mr. Jones made the show for me. He's this big, bad rapper but at the end of the day he just wants to have babies and marry the woman of his dreams. He had some elaborate romantic moves, and him chasing her around that factory after agreeing to make her a partner was enough to make anyone smile.

6. Marrying The Game : Can we start with the fact that the game has a real name? I totally didn't know. It's Jayceon. I think it's really cute, but I can't name my little boy that because I doubt whoever i'm married too will want to name their kid after the game. Enough me dilemmas, lets go back to the games eyes..I mean his television show. This was supposed to be documenting his marriage to Tiffany the mother of his two children. Tiffany was different. She was a school teacher and had expectations for her husband (she's also much older then him). Anyways it was a really cute relationship, but "the game" got in the way. I hope they find their way back to each other, and Jayceon at least gets refunded for some of that wedding stuff.



7. Tamar and Vince : I discovered this one towards the end of the year. My aunt told me the Braxtons had a lot of good shows, but I didn't pay them much attention. I turned it on to find the hilarious life of Mr. & Mrs. Vincent Herbert. He's the big time executive, and she's the new money wife who really wants to be a star. It's lots of "honey, make me a star" temper tantrums. It's funny to see how he reacts to his crazy, but fabulous wife. She's a lot of fun to watch and I love the "Get Yo Life" that she throws out all the time.

8. T.I. & Tiny : The Family Hustle : T.I. is most well known for being the artists that brought all those guns to an award show then got locked up at least 3 times in the last few years. Tiny is the woman that has been by his side through it all. The show paints T.I. as a nice family man and chronicles the family love of the life of him & his wife and their combined six children. It's a fun life and Sheikanah (her hair dresser/best friend) makes everything they do that much funnier.




9. The Secret Life of The American Teenager : This show has an upcoming final season, but it has come a long way in general. I watched from the very beginning, and it's fun to see their teen family grow and prosper. It was nice to see Ricky finally find his way to Amy and them get kind of married kind of not. It shows that positivity can come from the most negative of situations. Honestly, the season ended too long ago for me to point out any significant details.

10. Houston's : On Our Own : This shows Bobbi Kristina and her family trying to figure out life after Nippy (more popularly known as the late, great Whitney Houston). Bobbi has had a pretty sheltered life despite all her moms appearances in the press. There were laughs, successes, disappointments and plain weird moments. It was sad to see Bobbi under the influence of a lot of things. You can't blame her though, because her parents didn't exactly pave the way. Then there's the whole weird relationship between her and Nick to tackle. They were brother and sister, then boyfriend girlfriend, then engaged, then back to brother and sister again. I know it's difficult to keep that straight and even more difficult to relate to. Anyways the show was a huge success in my book. Best thing to come out of lifetime.


"The most amazing things come from the most terrible nights"

2012 is coming to a close and it's time for my annual 2012 list. The music that comes out in a year says a lot about the generation of people listening to it. It was the year of boy band come backs, fun dance music, slow ballads, and chills. Lets take a look back at the top 20 songs of the year (chosen by me) :

1. Some Nights by Fun. : This was hands down my favorite song of the year. 2012 was the year that music changed. Bands made a come back. They weren't just scremo people with fun instrumentals. They were people with big voices that can sing harmonies that you wouldn't believe. The drums in the song blew me away, and who wouldn't want to dance the night away to this.

2. Payphone by Maroon 5 ft. Wiz : "If happy ever after did exist, I will still be holding you like this. All these fairytales are full of shit. One more f***ing love song i'll be sick..I'm at a payphone". Who wouldn't love this song? Everyone has felt angry about love before. Wiz Khalifa came in with a couple simple lines and hyped you up even more in what was already a very lovable song. The image of being at a payphone and giving someone a piece of your mind was something everyone could relate too. Lets not forget how cute Adam Levine is; You know you were thinking it..

3. Call me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen : Around January of this year, not many people knew about Carly Rae Jepsen. Jelena went to Canada and tweeted that they were both into the song. I checked it out and was obsessed with it. It was my get happy song for the first half of the year. It's so fun to sing along to. I would put this song on to Youtube Karaoke on my television and sing until I couldn't remember why I was so upset. By June there wasn't a single person in the country who hadn't heard call me maybe. And for the record, I know a couple people who used the line and got the guy. It's worth a try.

4. Adorn by Miguel : I saw Miguel for the first time when he was opening for Ushers opener on tour. I had the pleasure of seeing him again this year when he opened for Trey Songz. He is definitely moving up and is a name you'll want to remember in the upcoming years. The song has a good beat. It's sweet and seductive at the same time. His voice sounds super sexy, and his word choice is superb. Let me Love Adorn you though? It's so romantic and you can't say no.

5. Wanted by Hunter Hayes : People who stick on the whole "I hate country" thing are really missing out. My family thinks I've been in Kansas for too long, but I really enjoy the lyrics. Hunter Hayes is a gentleman and he sings to ladies. Unlike most artists in 2012, Hunter wasn't trying to get in your pants; he was trying to get in your heart. This is when I lose half my readers for being too cheesy, but it's so true. I loved every aspect of this song. The music video of him sitting behind that piano. The whole thing just melts your heart.

6. Marilyn Monroe by Nicki Minaj : I personally believe that Nicki doesn't get enough credit for her talent. She's one of the most bad ass females in the business. She's fiercely unique and independent. The lady who walks around like she doesn't give an ish about anything showed a really personal, soft side in this work. I related to this song more then any other in 2012. There's a lot of pressure to be perfect. If your not perfect, fake it. But she gives Marilyn Monroe's most famous quotes a new twist and applies them to the younger generation. "I'll never be perfect believe me I'm worth it. So take me or leave me".

7. Simply Amazing by Trey Songz : This song brought back the kind of R&B I held so close to my heart in the 90s and 00s. Tremaine has an unbelievable talent. His voice is pure and touching, no filters or craziness necessary. The only thing cuter then the lyrics was the music video. The little aspects he adds to his music always make me smile. It used to be the Yuuuup's, but in this song I like the scoop he does in the "and she loves me, and it's simply amazing". He did it again with this song.

8. Dive In by Trey Songz : Trey makes baby making music. Even a girl with modest values like myself can't resist. In the year of Magic Mike and 50 shades of Grey, Dive in was that song that just puts you in a mood. His voice leaves you awestruck as always. Chapter V was a fantastic album as a whole, but this track sure did stand out.

9. Begin Again by Taylor Swift : In my opinion, Red was my favorite album of the year. I knew it would be without a shadow of the doubt. I never think twice about purchasing a Taylor Swift album, because I know that every single track is going to be gold. Sure, Taylor gets a lot of negativity about all these relationship problems, but at least she's honest. This song gave hope that even after the bad, there's always a chance to start over and begin again. Everyone has dry spells very well described by this line "I've been spending the last eight months, thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end". It was the perfect song for falling for someone new again. Letting go, and letting God.

10. Fall by Justin Bieber : Save the lecture, I know i'm too old to enjoy Justin bieber. He's for screaming little girls and gay men. I see a talent in him. He reminds me a lot of Justin Timberlake in NSYNC. He's finding his grove, but one of these days  he's going to be a big artist. This year he put his name on the map for a lot of people that wouldn't have given him a chance two years back. Though I enjoyed Boyfriend and As Love As You Love Me, this was the song that left a mark on me. I may have cried to it a couple times. Who doesn't want someone to feel that way about them?

11. Stay Stay Stay by Taylor Swift : I said Call Me Maybe was my original get happy song for the first half of the year, this was it for the second half. The song was so fun and upbeat. She even breaks out laughing at the end of it. The guitar chords set the mood perfectly. Nothing more to say about it. I just love it.

12. Castles by B.o.B. ft. Trey Songz : This was one of those songs I was very lucky to discover. It wasn't that popular and you probably haven't heard it on the radio. As a B.o.B. fan I skimmed through the album and found this one. It was a good inspirational song. The choir oohing in the background made you feel like you were unstoppable and Trey killed that hook.

13. Little Things by One Direction : I debated weather I should put this song on the list seeing as I only discovered it a little over a week ago. I didn't listen to One Direction, so I didn't even recognize the voices when I heard it in the card. I heard the cutest little accent singing "You can't go to bed without your cup o tea" and thought of myself. The song has a great acoustic feel to it, and the words are quite inspiring. They may be young, but they sing about love in a mature way. You know you love someone when you recognize that their imperfections are what makes them who they are.

14. Don't Judge Me by Chris Brown : It was another really big year for Chris Brown. Not only did he win Rihanna back after doing the unthinkable, but he had an amazing album with plenty of hits. Lets be real, if he sang the song to me I wouldn't judge me. I think the song was real, because it came from a place that he knows a lot about. His voice sounds really nice and floaty in a lot of parts. It's a hit.

15. We Are Young by Fun. ft. Jannelle Monae : This song came out at the perfect time, because I am young. It was a great song about being grateful for being young and alive. Nothing too complicated, but it was a hit.

16. Quickie by Miguel : This was my guilty pleasure song. The reggae vibe are almost as hot as the idea of the whole thing. That's all I'm gonna say. But you know it's good.

17. Freedom by Nicki Minaj : "what other female perfume in there cause I must have missed it" haha. This was Nicki's Over My Dead Body. It was her time to talk about the changes in her life. Haters are real, and she survived the struggle. I always like the songs artist make like this. The choir at the end was noticeably awesome.

18. Don't Wake Me Up by Chris Brown : This song wasn't on the list, but it came on shuffle, and I realized it is more then worthy of the list. Once again, the voice in the song is unbelievable. It was a good dance hit, and it got stuck in my head more then a couple times. Even people in Africa were listening to this one.

19. Beautiful by Carley Rae Jepson ft. Justin Bieber : This duet was quite adorable. They sounded good together, and it just painted pictures of people on a picnic or running hand in hand towards the sunset. I like stuff like that.

20. Don't Make Em' Like You by Neyo ft. Wiz : I started listening to 103.3 this year and came to the realization that it wasn't nearly as bad as I had made it seem in my mind. I still think it's better to avoid inappropriate concepts, because just like you are what you eat...you are what you listen to. Long story short this came on there while I was on my way driving myself to college again, and I felt good about myself. I'm doing something with my life, and it was nice to hear a black man singing about how he loves the fact that a women is successful for once. He didn't call her a baby mama, but the mother of his kids and even said the word...wife. wow. I sound judgmental, but it was refreshing.  The claps in the background are fun as well.


Honorable Mention


Who didn't hear Gangnam Style? This is the dance that swooped the nation. Everyone from my little brother to the KU basketball team was doing the dance. This little asain guy was everyone, and pretty much no one understood the Korean. Pretty sure it has the most views on youtube.

 Don't Drop that thun thun thun : I heard this song on Marrying the Game. This was the song he jokingly (I think?) wanted his wife to walk down the aisle to. It was pretty funny. Then it got stuck in my head during my entire math final. I got an A, so it deserves mention.

Beauty and a Beat : I loved this song, but the promotion for it was what made it worth a mention. There was absolutely no advertising or anything. It was done completely through social media. Justin tweeted that his laptop was stolen then created a fake account (very realistic, the picture was an egg) which said he was going to release something dirty about Justin. His manager was releasing statements and everything. Then the video he posted was the music video for Beauty and a Beat which he directed himself. Nicki was great too, even though she didn't get in the water. No one blames you girl. That weave was too cute to get wet.

Songs New To Me :


 Landslide by The Dixie Chicks : Three incredible singers did this for our high school choir performance and I had never heard it before, but the words were really good and it was really fitting. I listened to it a ton.

Somebody's Chelsea by Reba : This was the song one of my oldest and dearest friends walked into at her wedding. This was my first time going to a wedding for a friend, so I knew I was getting older. Her husband, her, and their too children looked stunning. The words were just so sweet. It was a picture perfect moment, and I always think of them when I ehar this now.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

"I'm in love with you, and all these little things"

Yesterday was one of my favorite days of the year. It was Christmas. No, it's not as exciting as when I was a child. But something about the magic of hearing the Christmas story and knowing that my savior came to earth to save me from my sins and the tribulations of this world never gets old. I love singing christmas carols and having sing-alongs to Mariah Carey's original Christmas album day after day. I like watching Christmas with the Kranks, Four Christmases, and Sound of Music week after week. I just like the whole feeling of it. The pretty trees, ugly sweaters, and incredible desserts never get old. Our Christmas was different from any we've ever had before. For the first time in a lifetime, we didn't invite all our family and friends over. This whole year has been a little tough, and my mom hurt her foot. She's the one who puts together this entire extravaganza. We had a few of my aunts and uncles come. One of my favorite cousins came down and any time spent together is good. My baby cousin opened her first gift by herself and it was super adorable. My cousin, my brother, and I hung out in the basement most of the evening and it was nice chatting with them. Their such boys. Lots of gaming was involved, but it was fun to hear them talk about marriage and the future. It was really a sign of them growing into little men. As always, I feel like the entire day zoomed by too fast. But i'm glad I got to spend it with the best of loved ones and everyone liked the gifts I picked out for them. I also dressed up formally despite the fact that everyone at my church can't ditch their jeans and polos for anything. I grew up dressing up, heels and all for Christmas. I wasn't about to break tradition. I looked like a fool walking in my heels though :/ How embarrassing.

So the other day I ran into the past. I'm over emotional. Feelings don't just go away easily. After all this time, they were gone. I mean every once in awhile I thought about it. But the silly thing is I ended up feeling the same way I did all those times ago. I'm more confident now and not as easily breakable. But my words didn't come out right, and I felt like a failure. But there was a moment that left me more then confused. It had me wondering weather I should have stopped trying. I'm not one to chase after someone that already turned me down. My pride is important. I have respect for myself. No man is worth losing that respect for. I wish this one wasn't so complicated. Maybe its not him, maybe its my feelings that are complicated. Being a hopeless romantic makes things deep rooted. As we speak i'm listening to Little Things about to cry thinking about all of it. It's nuts. I'll go back to my over it phase though. Lets hope i'm not turning into Gavin Degraw. Confused? He sang Not Over You. "Finally i'm forced to face the truth. I'm not over you".

Speaking of old habits dying hard, I need to get back on the religious track that I was on. I had a dilemma with going to this retreat that was going to be over the next few days all the way past new years. It was going to be getting in touch with your spiritual side, speak with religious leaders, and basically just get on track. I just didn't want to bring in the new year with people I don't know. I'm finally 18, so I wanted to wear a tight sparkly dress and make mayham. I don't know if i'll go through with these plans, but that's definitely on my to do list. This year was pretty cool though, because I joined my church's choir. I absolutely adore it. I like contemporary christian music, so it's praising God and getting singing experience at the same time. Well that's my life lately.

Song of the day: Little Things - One Direction

Quote of the day : "Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about"

New Story of The Day : Us Magazine has claimed that Ms. Janet Jackson is engaged to her billionare Qatarian boyfriend. There will be a huge wedding in his home country, and he will fly all her friends and family over there to celebrate the event. I'm wishing her all the best. 

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Happy Birthday To Me

To the most faithful of readers,
This is the first blog post coming to you from the adult me. I turned eighteen years old on sunday and praise God for the amazing childhood that I was blessed with and all the great things I can feel are still to come. My eighteenth birthday started out with me singing in the church choir. The service was honestly kind of depressing. I was really looking forward to my birthday being on an advent day this year. It was going to be all about joy, which was what I was feeling because it's my birthday. But the elementary school tragedy in connecticut made it a memorial service as it should have been. News out those horrific events kind of made it hard to be happy and jolly about my birthday and advent. I honestly left there feeling kind of depressed. Then I realized I invited people over for a party at my house without cleaning it. That wasn't the smartest of ideas. So I cleaned up the living room area and made the basement look presentable just in case someone would end up wandering down there. I invited my closest friends, but my brother and my cousin ended up tagging along. They kind of chatted with each other since they were the only boys there.

I ended up late to my own event, because getting everyone out of the house took way longer then expected and I got lost picking people up. We met at this Chinese buffet in town that was delicious if I say so myself. Then we came to my house to hang out and watch the Five Year Engagement. It wasn't special because of the choice of movie or restaurant. I enjoyed it, because its fun being surrounded by people that love you and that you can have fun with. I don't have parties very often, but I think I want to start.

I look forward to enjoying some of the new experiences that come with 18. Lottery Tickets, because money doesn't by happiness but its better to cry in a mercedes than a box. Clubbing, because that's something everyone in their youth should try and experience. You're only young once. Voting, even though the big election has already passed. And many more things.

Some songs on my party playlist were :

Adorn - Miguel
Dive in - Trey Songz
Simply Amazing - Trey Songz
Girl At Home - Taylor Swift
Red - Taylor Swift
Stay Stay Stay - Taylor Swift
Beauty and a Beat - Justin Bieber
Wanted - Hunter Hayes
Marilyn Monroe - Nicki Mianj
Right By My Side - Nicki Mianj
Payphone - Maroon 5
Some Nights - Fun.
Let Me Love You - Neyo
Shot For Me - Drake
Practice - Drake
Castles - B.o.B.

So here's to the new beginnings that come with 18.

quote of the day : "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any directions you chose" - Dr. Sues Oh, The Places You'll Go 

Friday, December 7, 2012

Grammy Nominations : " A tornado flew around my room before you came excuse the mess it made, it usually doesn't rain. In southern Califnoria much like Arizona my eyes don't shed tears.."

The Grammys are my favorite award show of the year. It should be no surprise that I was glued to my television when the news of the nomination came out. My aunt and I were putting our christmas lights on, but we took a break to see what was out there. I will give congratulations where congratulations should be given, and i'l lpull a Kanye West when that needs to happen too. Taylor Swift and LL Cool J hosted the show and did a phenomenal job. It was different seeing Taylor in that light, but she did it with grace and elegence like she does everything else. I was in love with her white lace drace. Lace is totally my thing right now. There's a black lace dress at Kieus with my name on ti. I might get it for my birthday dinner. Anyways back to the nominees:

A huge much deserved congratulations to Trey Songz, Frank Ocean, Miguel, Taylor Swift, Hunter Hayes, Usher, Carley Rae Jepson, Fun., Maroon 5, and all my contemporary christian artists.

Frank Ocean got huge notice from the grammy comittee for Thinkin Bout You (record of the year nom) as well as the entire Channel Orange album. To be honest, just listening through the album I was a bit disapointed. The only one that was slightly decent was Pyraminds. I was expecting a ton more songs like Thinkin Bout You, but that's not how it was. That song on it's own is good enough to get the album nominated though. No one has made music quite like that in some time. I'll be rooting for him.

Nominated For : Record of the Year, Album of The Year, Best New Artist, Best Urban Contemporary Album

Miguel has come a long was in the last two years. Just about two years ago, I saw him opening from Trey songz who was opening for Usher. I saw him just last friday and you won't believe how much he has grown as a performer. He's much more confident, has pleanty of dance moves, and a unique fashion sense that reminds me of a young Prince. The song that caught my attention was Adorn. I was originally against listening to it, because someone I have problems with suggested it and I was being petty. When I finally heard it, I fell in love. It's a wonderful R&B track. Quickie Wasn't nominated for anything this time around, but I like that one too...(shh don't tell anyone)

Nominated For : Song of the Year, Best R&B Performance, Best R&B Song, Best Urban Contemporary Album

Trey Songz : My husbad, my boo, the man who stold my heart and never gave it back. I have a milliona and one different ways to describe my love for him. The truth of the matter is he's a brilliant singer, uncomparably attractice, and a kind soul at that. Heart Attack was that song that got him the recognition he needs, and I couldn't be prouder of him for that. It's a really good heartfelt track with a great music video along with it.

Nminated for Best R&B Song

Taylor Swift : I'm not quite positive about this, but I believe the only song she was eligable for was We Are Never Getting Back Together. Her one possibility was nominated for Record of The Year. That's exactly what kind of big deal Taylor is. I love her music, I loved the Red album. Every track was like stardust. Magnificant in every way. She had her big year in 2010 when she swooped pretty much every away she swas nominated for. I doubt the grammy's will give it to her this time, but it's nice seeing her as a nominee again. The show wouldn't be the same without her.

Nominated For : Record of the Year, Best Country Duo/Group Performance (Safe & Sound)

Hunter Hayes : I love that little cutie. How can you listen to the song Wanted and not? I just want him to scoop me up and let me be his southern bell you know. He sings with so much soul, and it's not angry or inappropriate. All country artists remind us that gentlemen do still exsist, and not every man is angry and butt obbsessed. It's just him and his guitar  making music. Simple, but very worthy of all the nominations he recieved.

Nominated For : Best Country album, Best Country Solo Performance, Best New Artist,

Usher : I've made endless blog posts about you so i'll keep it short. No one can do it like Usher. No one. "Going nowhere fast we've reached the climaxxxxx..." Every single person is guilty of belting this out at least once this year. End of story.

Nominated for : Best R&B Performance (Climax),

CRJ : Other songs everyone sang? Call Me Maybe. I was proud to be one of the first to discover this song. It made me happy when skies are grey. It's just upbeat and fun. I had the pleasure of hearing it live.

Nominated For : Song of The Year, Best Pop Solo Performance

Fun. : reminds me of Queen. I'm particularly fond of queen because Freddie Mercury reps my island, Zanzibar. The lead singer can hit the notes that Freddy could. The way the band harmonizes gives the songs they make unimaginable depth and it really is hit after hit. We are Young and Some Nights are songs with a vibe we haven't heard in ages. I'm happy to have the return of music like that. Fun loving with awesome instrumentals.

Nominated for : Record of the Year (with Janelle Monae), Album of the Year, Song of the Year, Best New Artist, Best Pop Duo/Group performance, Best Pop Vocal Album,

Maroon 5: henever I think them my mind goes back to This Love. But another song took the place of that one in my heart this year. That was Payphone. I loved that song almost as much as I love Adam Levines tattooed body (yeah, I said it). That song kind of describes how I felt about love all year. "If happy ever after did exsist, I would still be holding you like this. All these fairytales are full of ish, one more stupid love song i'll be sick...now i'm at a payphone". The drums in that were also fabulous on an entirely different levels. As I said, I'm African. I totally dig the drums.

Nominated For : Best Pop Duo/Group Performance, Best Pop Vocal Album,

Christian contemporary artists meaning : Chris Tomlin, Toby Mac, Israel, Matt who sang 10,000 reasons, and so many more are near and dear to my heart, because their songs boost moral when times are tough. They give hope to the hopeless and lead people to the light truth and way. Though none of them will get on stage recognition for their work, their music is the most meaningful.

Now for the snubs, let me tell you I was a little upset about these this year :

I personally belive that Drake did not ge the recognition that he deserves for all the work he put in this year. Take Care, in my opinion was the best album of the year. None of the other artists work cna even compare. Each song he wrote was a heartfelt, musical masterpiece. The fact that he only got recoginition in the rap categories is completely unjust. His music trancended genres this time around. I think the logic behind this snub is two years back it was Eminems year and a rap artist won it all. Now their favorite the more urban sounding/feeling musicians. It's their time to shine, but I don't like the politics of the whole thing. He deserved more.

Drake is Nominated For : Best Rap Performance (HYFR), Best Rap Song (The Motto), and Best Rap Album

Justin Bieber : Though I am a belieber, I wasn't as outraged about this one as a lot of others were. I personally thing that Justin just wasn't there yet. The songs on his album that I view as grammy worthy would be Fall, Be Alright, As Long As You Love Me, and Believe. Those were all songs that were not promoted enough to get Grammy attention with the exception of As Long As You Love Me. But looking at it from another persepective, Call Me Maybe was nominated. I would say that Justin's songs are on the same level of musical excellence that that is, so it was an example of the grammy comittee simply saying no teen stars. Typical snub.

Nicki Minaj : Roman reloaded was a deserving album. Yes her raps were different from the others in the rap album cateogries, but what do you expect. She's a girl. She's going to rap about boys and self esteem. That's what we know. I think this snub was again a matter of not promoting the right songs off of the album. Marilyn Monroe, Young Forever, and Masquerade are definatly grammy deserving hits. Beez in the trap? Not so much.

That's my synopsis. Agree, disagree. It's all the same to me.

"Some nights I wish that this song would end, cause I could use some friends for a change"

Its been way too long since I sat and talked about feelings. The last three months have been filled with some fo the highest of highs and lowest of lows. The world lost a magnificant person who faught till the very end. The loss of any life is a tragedy, but when it ends before they really even got to live... I guess it opened my eyes to the fact that the world isn't this magical place where bad always loses and the good can live happily ever after. My faith grew and is continuing to grow despite some of the bad i've seen in the world surrounding me. I've really been working on setting my mind on the things above and finding my joy from the Lord. I joined the church choir which has been a great experience. I love contemporary christian movies along with hymns, so it's awesome to get to sing them twice instead of once on weekends. I got a lot of great support from members of my church. They really appreciate me stepping up and getting involved. This is the path worth taking. I guess I just don't see myself being just another wasted teen. I have way too much potential and was raised right. That's just something I don't feel the need to experience at the moment.

That being said, everyone elses life revolves around those things. Obviously not every single student on campus, but the people that make up my life and my everyone for sure. I've grown closer to two of my friends in particular, and I really like having them around. We were always friends, but never this close before and having them in my life has been great. I'm really happy for my friends. They're finding love left and right. I'm single and don't question it. I know that you're always right where you should be in life. I've had more then a couple crushes. Some were unrealistic, and some could have maybe worked out but they didn't.

I haven't achieved the fearlessness I was longing for in those blog posts in the beginning. I still doubt my self at times and just feel uncomfortable around new people. I started working which is a big deal for me. It's my first job, and I love having my own spending money. I like being independent. It's a work study job and I answer phones and work the front desk for about fifteen hours every week. I completed the first semester of college pretty gracefull (keep in mind this blog is coming before finals). I really want to make the Deans List. I don't know why it's such a big deal to me, but I take pride in my academics. It's about more then just me. I'm doing it for my family and all the people I love. I want to make them proud.

song of the day: Some Nights by Fun. (I think this is one of the best songs i've heard in a long time. The drum part is amazing and i'm in love with the harmonies)

quote of the day: "Well i've been afraid of changing cause I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, children get older and i'm getting older too.." - Dixie Chicks

Thursday, December 6, 2012

"Cause everything starts from something, Something would be nothing, nothing if your heart didn't dream with me"

On October 26th, 2012 I got to experience what 31 million girls around the world want to. Not just any girls, but beliebers. I'm proud to be a part of a fan base filled with hilarious, devoted, crazy, upbeat, loving people. I guess I can start by saying a little about my fan history. I heard Justin Bieber in June of 2009. The music video for One Time was free on iTunes. Noticing that Usher was a part of it, I downloaded it. Imagine my surprise when there was a little blond boy with a fancy bowl cut and a grey hoodie singing in perfect pitch. The video was fun, and it was impossible not to since along. A couple months later he blew up and became the phenomenon that he is today. He's currently headlining his second world tour, and I got to see it live in Kansas City from the Sprint Center. I bought this really pretty purple and black dress from Urban Outfitters, curled my hair and I was ready to go.

I arrived at the arena at 4. The show started at 7. Justin pulled up in his tour bus around 4:20. Kenny and three other security guards were walking on either side of the tour bus making sure no girls tried to jump on top or anything. He waved at the fans from the front of the bus for 2 seconds before disappearing to the back. The bus is black and shiny. You can't really tell it apart from all the other ones that the crew rides in. The fans that got there at 8 am got to see Dan Kanter (world renowned guitarist). I was bummed I missed out on the Dan Kanter song. I had the pleasure of seeing Carly Rae Jepson. She waved at us from the red van she was riding in. Cody Simpson also waved to us as he entered the arena. Justin's grandparents were also there. His grandma came out to smoke a couple times and waved as well. Getting to the arena early is the best thing you can do if you want to meet some celebrities or get in the spirit of the concert. It wouldn't hurt to do a run around of the stadium or arena to know all your  doors and locations. If they have barricades up, chances are someone that matters will be passing through there. Just a note. It doesn't sum up to much though. I met his Uncle Chris when I went to Stratford two summers ago, and I inboxed him to see if he could make the connection. Though we emailed back and forth in the past, even he couldn't get me in.

There were tons of girls who did not have money or tickets waiting outside the arena. The cutest were the girls who had a sign that said "will sing for tickets". They sang the entire album over and over and over again, but nothing. The whole NSN fantasy where Ry Good comes out and gives you tickets was not something that happened at the show I attended. Most of the crew wasn't very nice in general. I saw Alfredo when he was on the lookout for the One Less Lonely Girl. I tried to say hi to him. He heard, and totally ignored me. It's like he forgot that he's not even the star. No one paid the big bucks to see him. Kenny also didn't react to fans. Keep an eye out for him during the song Believe. He did a walk through to see how the show looked from the audiences perspective. I would warn you ahead of time not to make posters, because every single one of them gets thrown away when you walk in. The crew comes out to take five signs from the people that arrive super early and those are used during baby (which is the encore). Don't leave right when the lights come up, he'll come out and do the hits then.

The openers are just alright, as most new and upcoming artists are. Cody sang his heart out and was much better then I thought he would be. He was very cute and just excited to be doing what he loves. Carly was an decent performer too. I didn't really know all the songs, so I couldn't really sing along or anything. Call Me Maybe was obviously the best part of the entire performance. Before Justin comes out, the famous countdown clock counts down for about ten minutes. Michael Jackson sons play to warm the crowd up. I was jamming but a lot of people of my generation don't know those songs. I was sitting next to two fairly old people for a Believe concert. They were in their early 30s and school teachers.

The songs that he performs are :
All Around The World
As Long As You Love Me
Take You
One Time
U Smile/That Should Be Me (just a capella)
Die In Your Arms
Beauty and a Beat
Beautiful with Carly Rae Jepson
Out of Town Girl
She doesn't like the lights
Love Me Like You Do
Eenie Meanie
Somebody to Love
Catching Feelings
Fall
Be Alright
Never Say Never
Believe
Boyfriend
Baby

My favorite moment of the entire show had to be when he got on the crane that hoovers right above the fans and sings Fall and Be Alright. Fall was my favorite song off of the album, so it was special that he sung it right in above me. I happened to have floor seats just 15 rows away from him. There are moments when I swore we made eye contact, but it was just my fan girl imagination running wild. His voice is really good, and he has become quite the dancer over the years. The outfit changes are nice, and the stage is phenomenal. There are a lot of cool little extras where it looks and sounds like he's jumping into a pool. The stage lights up in a lot of different ways. The addition of female dancers wasn't a huge deal, because they didn't really do much.  The One Less Lonely Girl was a white, brunette as usual. She didn't cry or anything and was wearing a home-made t-shirt. She sat on a throne while he performed the first half of the song. He crowned her at "I'm gonna put you first.I'll show you what you're worth" then they hugged and everything. After the song he said, come back stage with me. She kind of froze and he took her hand and they ran back there together. I'm sure they shared a special moment while the entire arena was being bitter that it wasn't them picked.

I hope this helps you get an insight on what the Believe Tour is really like, or prepare for your show when the date comes. Leave comments if you have an questions. The little details always matter to me as well, so I don't mind random questions.

To answer one I already see coming, Yes. He's just as cute in person. Just little. He's pretty short and his muscles are present, but little like the rest of him haha. I'll post pictures and videos in my next post. Look out for that.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

"You're more then everything I need; You're all I ever wanted..."

Hello,
This blog post is coming to you from my dinning room table with the first Presidential debate of this campaign on television. Obama is dominating defending Obamacare, and Romney is trying to kill Big Bird. I don't know about you, but I grew up watching PBS. That's the one channel that actually has programs to educate young children. Anyways, I find the debate today kind of boring. I'm just watching to support my president. Today is Barack & Michelle Obama's 20th wedding anniversary. 20 entire years of your life spent with someone else. Can you imagine that? I've lived seventeen years, and God willing someday i'd like to see my twentieth anniversary. Barack and Michelle are my favorite celebrity African American couple. Yes, I put them above Beyonce and Jay Z. People magazine did a story on their first date, and they had Ben & Jerry's on the curb enjoying the breeze. How cute is that? They could go do anything in the world with their special day, but they chose to go to The Cheesecake Factory. Don't get me wrong, I love the cheesecake factory but you'd think they'd go somewhere super fancy. When two people really like each other things like expensive restaurants and fancy gifts don't matter. It's just about enjoying your time together and more then that : your life together.

I'm a hopeless romantic and a big believer in marriage. It makes me sad to see that 50% of couples don't make it anymore. I think there's something to say about making a commitment to each other. When I was young, I watched Dragon Tales (on PBS *romney smug smirk*) and there were two dragons with connected heads. They always said that two is better then one. When you're together you can over come challenges you never could have faced alone. You have someone that constantly supports you and is always on your side. Yesterday, I watched Khloe Kardashian's wedding to Lamar Odom. I think it was quite the fairytale with only knowing each other a month. Three years later, and they beat the odds. Everyone said that they wouldn't make it, but they did. They're going through the whole baby making issue (Khloe isn't producing eggs), but Lamar stood by his wife and didn't just walk away when things get tough. Their huge saying was the "when you know, you know". Right now, I don't know.

I understand that in order to have a love like the one you see in couples like Barack & Michelle, Beyonce & Jay Z, and Khloe & Lamar you need to have your own thing going for you first. To be the best possible significant other, you have to have all of your ish together. It helps to know your values, your limits, and be willing to make sacrifices for the other person. Lifes' experiences lead you to be ready to make those kind of sacrifices. One of my favorite love songs is God Blessed the Broken Road. I wrote a whole book themed around it. There's a line that said "Every long lost road, led me to where you are/Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars/Pointing me on my way into your loving arms/this much I know is true. That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you". I think i'm currently on the broken road. As sad as it is to hear about people with these wonderful love lifes (and stupid national boyfriend day on twitter), I think maybe the world is preparing me to be just right for when the right person comes along. I don't want to stop believing in love. It's got to be more then just a fairytale you tell to little kids because you see people like Barack & Michelle or even my parents making it work every day. But for me now it's the single life, and God Bless the Broken Road is my anthem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFad-8Afczw

Song of the day : Wanted by Hunter Hayes. I'll tell you a secret. My love for Trey Songz and Thomas Robinson aside, there's this new boy playing the piano with a baby face and a brilliant smile. I've always had a thing for sweet country boys like him. It doesn't hurt that I pretend he's singing to me right. Here's the link to his music video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruyaKdPfTN4

Quote of the day: "Love is a song that never ends" - Bambi



Tuesday, October 2, 2012

"I've spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end, but on a wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again"

Hello world,
I meant to have made like fifty blogs in between this and the last one. I get all these ideas, but time doesn't ever give me a chance. I miss speaking my mind. I feel like lately i've been seeing the world through new eyes. Four people that have had an impact on my life are sick. All four of them were sudden illnesses. Brain injuries, Cancer, car accidents, and cancer + a car accident (worst combo). I feel like crying just thinking about it. This is new for me..all the sudden tears. I'm not really a crier. Especially not in public, but the last few sunday's i've spent singing in church praying and singing have moved me to tears almost every time. I stayed in control, because that's just the kind of girl I am. I don't break down, because I don't like being in the position to explain to anyone what's going on or how I'm feeling. It's not me. I guess i'm an introverted person with exceptions. There are certain people I feel like I can tell anything and everything to, but even my mother doesn't see me cry.

Anyways, seeing all these people's lives change so suddenly made me realize a couple different things. The first was that from here on out it has to be me and my God. No peer pressure, or anything else leading me down the wrong path. Life can end in an instant, and it is my belief that when this life ends the eternal one can  begin. If you stay close to God, and follow the teachings. I've also realized that all the problems that I let dominate my life in the past don't matter in the big picture. When it's life or death, it won't matter that I got a B on an exam, wrote a bad song and put it on youtube, wore sweat pants three days in a row, or any of that other stuff I occupy my thoughts with. What will matter is the person I am, and how i've chosen to spend my time here on earth. The third thing that has come out of this tragic situation is joy. It sounds sick that i've found happiness through this all, but I'm an optimist. I believe with a faith that could move the mountains. My four loved ones will heal despite what doctors and statistics say.

I've chosen to smile, because I realized that I am blessed beyond belief. My health and the health of my family is enough to keep me smiling no matter what. I'm not going to let little things get me down anymore. I go to a college campus where everyone needs anti-depresents. I wish I was kidding, but i'm not. Well kind of : Anti- depressents are bad and make you a vegetable. Only take em if you need em. But anyways at my campus, people walk around frowning all the time. I half smiled at someone (on accident <--- that's how sad it is. Not smiling is a thing) and they asked "what you lookin at?!". Yes, this really happened. But even all these negative people around me won't bring me down, because I have the joy of the lord, the joy of good health, the joy of wonderful people, and too many more blessings to count.

The last thing that happened? I started thinking about him again... Lord help me. We all know how this story ends.

song of the day: Begin Again by Taylor Swift (I'm in love with this song!! Only 20 days till red comes out)

quote of the day: Don't cry because it's over, Smile because it happened - Dr. Suess

Sunday, September 16, 2012

"Miss Independent, oooh the way you shine. Miss Independent"

Hello world.
It's been awhile since i've blogged for a more personal side. You know when you take long breaks in between blogs there's just so much thats happened that you don't really know where to start. The big thing in my life that takes up most of my time now is College. For those of you who didn't know, I'm a freshman this year. I'm not having the traditional college experience. I made the decision to live at home and drive to campus for classes. One of the main influences that led me to this decision was money and wanting to graduate free of loans (yes, it's possible!). I always wanted to be there for my family and the friends that are like family to me. Life is so short; I want to spend as much time with the ones I love the most as possible you know? I guess part of African culture is Family Over Everything. I would easily sacrifice things that are just for fun (partying and such) to be helpful to my parents, my brother, aunts, cousins. Younger girls need someone to look up to more then ever. If you have little sisters or cousins, you should definitely be an open, safe person for them to talk to (as long as you feel you're on the right track yourself. Don't lead them astray).

Speaking about people going astray, it's amazing how much trouble people can get into within the first couple days of the school year. In America people have had this idea that college is the time for experimenting. I see where the idea sparks from. You can't really go off doing things that could possibly have negative results when you're married with five children. College is a time where you're independent, but don't have anyone depending on you. It's one of the best times to go off and kind of find the person you want to be. All this in mind, statistics show that many people go off track this first year. My personal thinking is that I don't need to try anything that I know is bad or has negative consequences. My brother put his finger on the stove and got burned. Chances are if I do the same thing, the result won't be different. The stove will still be hot, and my finger will still be burned. I don't think you need to purposefully make mistakes to learn from them. You can take what has happened to other people and make an example of it.

A lot of these have consequences too big to bear. As far as drugs go there are many reasons their illegal. I'm not just talking the hard core stuff  like heroin, but even taking a tylenal has its consequences on your body. I know that I get one body to use for the rest of my life. I have to desire to insert anything unclean that could cause me harm in any shape or form. A glass of red wine a day is healthy. Getting wasted multiple times is not, because the more you do it the more your body suffers the consequences. I never had overbearing parents that tried to make me avoid everything the plague, so maybe that why i'm not so in awe and crazy for  drinks and drugs like most people my age. They're a part of life, and if you want to do those things I'm not judging you. It's your life to live. But I personally don't see the point in drinking if i'm using the money daddy put on my credit card to buy the beer or whatever. If I don't have my own, then i'm obviously not at the point in life where I should be doing those things. It's like a man asking his mother for a ride to the strip club. "Pick me up at 10? " Does that sound right to you? As far as i'm concerned, you can't be "independent" if you need to use someone elses money to be that way. Just food for thought.

song of the day: Miss Independent - Neyo

Quote of the day:  True individual freedom cannot exist without economic security and independence. People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made. 

"I've been Caifornia wishing on these stars for your heart..for me my california king"

Chris Brown and Rihanna were the it couple of 2009. Anyone who's into following these huge celebrity productions remembers that day. It was the Grammy's and both Rihanna and Chris were set to perform. It was a big year as far as music goes for them. Just a couple hits like Umbrella and With you...No big deal. Anyways, I continue to follow their dramatic saga, and this month was filled with events. Oprah interviewed RiRi from her home town in Barbados. I was shocked at how beautiful the city was. For some reason, I always considered it kind of third world in my mind. It wasn't like that at all. The people were very alive, and the palm trees were definitely worth the long plane ride it would take to get over there. Rihanna spoke of a lot of emotional topics including how she got started, loosing her Gran Gran Dolly, getting used to fame, and...the incident.

As far as the incident goes, I was really surprised to hear Rihanna say that the whole time she was worrying about him. In my opinion, this does not make Rihanna a weak woman or anti-feminist. The man she loved was obviously going through something terrible if he was going to lash out in such a monsterous, unresponsible way. She wanted him to get help and get to the bottom of his problems. Or as some would put it, sort out all his demons. She also confessed that she still loved him, and that he would always be in her heart. She talked about why it didn't work out with some of those guys she dated. She talked about working past anger and realizing that no matter how much she lashed out in her music or sense of fashion; she can't change what happened. The revelations she made on the show were really eye opening about the whole situation of domestic abuse.

Rihanna got a lot of negative back lash from people for still being in love with Chris. A lot of people told her they thought she needed help and blah blah blah. Here's my view. Domestic abuse is never okay. Rihanna absolutely did the right (extremely brave thing considering how big of a celebrity she is)by turning Chris in to the cops and making him suffer the consequences of his actions. If you believe in the American system, after suffering the consequences Chris should be considered a changed man. He should get a fresh start, because after the anger managment, therapy, and volunteer work he should realize that what he did was wrong. Do we have a way of knowing that he really did? No. But I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Rihanna is not the same little girl he hit three years ago. She's tougher now and would never let something like that happen again. That being said, if she wants to give him another chance and follow her heart you won't hear me saying negative things about it. Maybe he really has changed.

The only evidence I have that he didn't is his new sorry excuse for a tattoo. I like many other people saw the similarities between his tattoo and the picture that was released to the public of Rihanna's abused face. He claims that it's a mexican day of the dead skull. It's all up for your judgment.


Will she go through with the second chance? Chris is currently in an open relationship with Karrueche Tran according to sources. That didn't stop him from kissing Rihanna a couple weeks ago at the VMAs. A picture says a thousand words. 



Saturday, September 15, 2012

"It's a love story; Baby just say: Yes."

Close your eyes. Imagine the significant other you want to be with the rest of your life. What do they look like? They're cute aren't they? I'm almost one hundred percent positive we're not thinking of the same person. It's not even the same person for me anymore. Sometimes my "dream guy" is tough with a killer smile like Trey Songz; sometimes he's a soft, guitar playing cutie like Hunter Hayes; and other times he's the African Singer Ali Kiba. It really just depends on the day. Different people have different ideas on what's attractive. It's only natural right? One of my best friends is only into asians, and my cousin only likes black guys. I personally don't think there's anything racist about that. Does it limit your options? Yes. But can you help who you're attracted to? No. I don't think you can anyways. This dilemma has been playing through my mind for awhile, and I figured I would blog about it. Blogging helps me sort out my thoughts and emotions.

So lets say you met a guy that you have really amazing conversations with. He makes you laugh, successful, religious (whatever the whole package is for you) , but you don't feel that spark. By spark I mean the little thing where your heart skips a beat when you see them coming your way. Or how you get butterflies before a date. The part that makes new love exciting. You're just not...attracted to them. I'm a big believer in the idea that looks aren't everything, but I don't mean excluding someone because of how they look. I just mean not feeling attracted to them. Not because they're ugly or have bad features, because they just don't do it for you. Am I a terrible person for thinking this way? Can you really help who you're attracted to? Is it female intuition telling you that this isn't the one who completes your love story? Are love stories even real anymore when you're an African American women with the 45% chance of marriage statistic hanging over your head?

These are the thoughts that run through my mind, and these are the answers i've currently concluded on. I am not a terrible person, because I think there's a biological aspect in attraction. If you're dwelling on the fact you're not attracted to the person anyways, then there's probably some other things that are making you try to second guess yourself in any way possible. Can you help who you're attracted to? No. I truly believe it's a physical thing. Maybe the media and modern world give us unrealistic expectations as far as this whole subject goes, but at the end of the day everyone is attracted to someone different for a reason. Its unexplainable. Are love stories real? I want to quote one of my favorite celebrity tweet sessions of all time : Taylor swift & Selena Gomez "Real Love Still Happens Sometimes. It's not just something we make up when we're nine. I have to believe that. You do too". Weather they're real or not we have to believe, because when we lose fate what do we have left?

Song of the day: Love Story - Taylor Swift (this is old so i'll give you a new one as well). Wanted by Hunter Hayes

Twitter words of wisdom: "Real Love Still Happens Sometimes. It's not just something we make up when we're nine. I have to believe that. You do too" - Taylor Alison Swift

Thursday, August 23, 2012

"2012: it ain't the end of the world"

I don't know understand the decade that I live in. Sometimes I think that I don't belong here. I see people my own age and ages that differ from me, and I don't understand. I look at my own brother who i've known since he was born, and I don't understand. These are the pet peeves I have with society today :

Lets start small. Video games. I grew up in the 90s, and didn't have a game system until I was nine. Video games were not a crucial part of my every day life. When I got video games in 2003, I played skiing along with Mario games. They were fun little activities in make believe worlds. If you ask the average person what it is their playing on their systems they'll say : Call of Duty, and Modern Warfare Three (shows how much I know. I guess their the same thing). I can't really give you any details about what the game entails. I just know that I wake up most saturday mornings to shooting sounds. When I watch my brother play, I see him with a gun talking to other people about how best to shoot their opponent. So my brother and his friends spend seven hours shooting people. When I ask what he does, he says "it's fun". We live in a society where out of all the things you could be doing : writing, reading, the television, the mall, playing a sport, riding a bike, talking to a friend, sleeping, anything....shooting people is for fun. The first person who can explain this to me is a winner.

Tattoos. They're everywhere. I'm not an old person. I think tattoos can be beautiful if they're placed in the right areas, or they have some huge significance. Yesterday, I saw someone with a deck of cards up their back. Was it cool looking? kind of. Could you notice it? very much. Is that a reason to mark something on your body forever? Not in my opinion. Rob Kardashian is one of my favorite guys in hollywood. His latest tattoo is a picture of his mother in a seductive pose. My one question is, why? I know you love your mother, but can't you think of another way to show her you respect her. Write a letter, tell her by word of mouth, anything else. Now we get to the last and worst tattoo. The naked women on mens bodies. I have one thing to say to you. In 30 years you're going to be old, fat, and married, the woman you choose to spend the rest of your life with will get to look at those naked women for the rest of her life too.

The phone addictions. I have one. The minute I bought that shiny iPhone I couldn't keep my hands off of it. In one phone I can call people, text people, keep up with people on Facebook, Twitter, AND Instagram, I can look up stuff for school and never have a conversation with a real person again... I honestly think there's nothing wrong with using your phone when you're bored or get a message. When there are real people around you who want to talk to you and build a relationship/friendship with you, you should focus on them and not what someone from your kindergarden class posted on facebook. I just think that it's a waste of what could be a beautiful moment. At the end of the day it's what's more important to you : your phone or the living breathing human being in front you?

Cussing. I'm a little sexist when it comes to this one. If it's a guy with a dirty mouth, I think its more acceptable. There's a double standard, but there's something really ugly about a girl going eff this and eff that. Girls run around calling themselves pretty b**ches. Have we forgotten that a b**ch is a female dog. You're a pretty chihuahua huh? Out of the million and one words in the dictionary, lovely, sexy, attractive,beautiful, bonita,  mamacita so many words and you chose to call yourself a female dog. There's just something weird about that to me. Unless your angry and incredibly upset so it slips out, I think you should find better more meaningful words to me.

These are my opinions. If you have any of these problems, I still love you.