"I know theres sunshine beyond that rain/I know theres good times beyond that pain/Can you tell me how I can make a change"

Hey!
This is a continuation of my blog from just a few minutes ago. Now I get to talk to you about something sad I went through. I'm a lot better now though. So these last couple days my whole life has been about Encore! Encore is this show that my choir puts in where we perform songs. Its kinda like a less cool version of Glee, but its just as serious. We have to have costumes, coreography, good vocals, and all that has to be disucssed and done outside of class. I'm in the groups singing, Shout, Like a Prayer, Say My Name, I wanna Dance with Somebody, and Total Eclipse of the Heart. The like a prayer group had a rehersal where we were gonna decide who gets the solo. For some reason I really wanted the solo, more then anything. It was really cool, because I finally realized that I absolutley love to sing. And I would like to do that in front of others. So I practiced over the weekend and really thought I stood a chance at the solo.

I think you can predict...I didn't get it. I just got so sad and heartbroken over the whole thing. I seriously cried. Weird, I know but it just really hurt me. And part of it was that i'd just come from a great enviorenment with such caring and concerened people. I came home to my family who really cares about me, but it just seemed like I had no one to really lean on outside of my family. It kinda sucked and I was feeling really bad. And once one thing goes wrong another does. So I get over it, do my homework and when I wake up I have swollen eyes. My first reaction was, OH my gosh my mom was right! When you wear make up too much you start to look ugly without it. My poor face!. It sounds dumb but I coulden't put my finger on what was different about my face. After a couple minutes in front of the mirror I realized my eyes were swollen. It looked terrible, so my mom had the idea to hide it with my glasses. Thank goodness no one noticed.

The next thing that happened wasen't too bad, but today in choir we had to state our sizes. My last name comes first so I said large, then the girl was like "just so everyone knows the shirts run really big so you don't need to worry about getting a bigger size) then the girl stares at me waiting for me to change so I saw I'll take medium I guess. Now I wanted to slap myself for being less confident but 97% of the girls in there said they were small and trust me, they weren't all small. It was the perfect example of how our society pressures people into being skinny. Now i'm gonna get a shirt that doesn't fit and its gonna suck. I went up to change it after class, but the sheet was gone. So now I might get stuck with a small shirt thats all tight on my boobs and stomach. That will be great won't it? Not! I over worry about everything but, I feel like i'm doing it with good reason this time. Hopefully the sheet will still be there tomorow.

song of the day: Pray by Justin Bieber

quote of the day: Its funny how when you do something nice no one notices, but when you make a mistake no one forgets