"Forget the world now we won't let them see/But theres one thing left to do/That the weight has lifted love has truley shifted my way/Marry Me"

Hey Everyone,
So I'm semi-bummed. Why? I really don't even know. I think it started with school today. No, not the fact that I had to go even though that was sad. I'm jealous of my people down in Atlanta who got to stay home for like a whole week! But anyways when we went to school today we got to fill out our matchmaker forms. If you've been following me since last year then you remember me talking about it then. Everyone at my school, boys & girls are required to fill out a 20 question thing about what their looking for and all this stuff and then we send the forms to Canada (I love canada, I think I might belong there and I can be Drake and Justin Biebers cute girl next door). Anyways they send it to canada and then we get the results on...valentines day. Last year my perfect match actually seemed actually ok, but the last conversation we'd had was in the 2nd grade so I didn't really see us going from strangers to lovers.

Theres nothing wrong with valentines day and all this perfect match lovey dovey stuff aside from the fact it kind of sucks when your single. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being single. I don't even know if I want to be in a relationship for sure it just seems appealing to me. I've never really dated someone, like a real legit relationship. I lost my kissing virginity to my best guy friend and that never went anywhere. It seems like I get close to people then they fall for someone else. It sucks. But anyways, when your alone valentines day is just another day to remember that you are alone.

I've been kind of on the lookout at school for potential valentines but there was no spark with any of them. Some of them were ok, nice sweet boys. Awhile ago I was on the right track of getting over Prince. Then I somehow got some false sense of hope about him and I. But its starting to click with me now that he doesn't like me. You know being facebook friends with someone opens you up to another side of them, the kind you don't really see in person. His facebook alter ego seems really open and friendly like, I'm open to making friends with anyone. But then I try and its like sorry...everyone but you. I don't try very hard, I don't have the oppurtunities, and I'd just love it if he loved me. Am I wrong for that? Am I wrong for wanting to be wanted and wanting to be shown some kind of affection? I've been relating to the song Grenade, Marry Me and Cold as you quite a bit. It sucks when you feel like you really care about someone but you realize they don't feel the same way. And you start to wonder why.

Thats where I'm at. Why not me. Why can't I be the one to make you happy. I don't get it, probably never will, but it sucks.

songs of the day: Grenade by Bruno Mars and Cold As You by Taylor Swift

quotes of the day (all from the songs meantioned above):

"Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you"

- This song is exactly how I feel, T.Swift took the words out of my heart and put them in a song. Its called Cold As You.

"I'd catch a grenade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on the blade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'd jump in front of a train for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
You know I'd do anything for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same"

- Grenade by Bruno Mars, it speaks for itself