"Children are Crying/Soldiars are dying/Some people don't have a home/But I know there's sunshine behind that rain/...I close my eyes & Pray"

Hey! Guess what i'm doing right now? I'm listening to Justin Bieber's acoustic album. It is simply amazing. I know there are a lot of Justin Bieber haters out there and thats whatever but I love the boy. He's my age and he can play the piano, guitar, and the drums. He sings with the voice of an angel, travels from place to place and is living his dream. How many people can say they did that all at only 16? I loved the regular album but I think I like the acoustic album better. All those songs have a whole different feel. They touch your heart. Everyone should check it out, my baby baby baby won't let you down.

So I figured something out about myself at the Trey Songz signing. I am a brave girl. You know most people think of me as a sweet little girl, and kind of weak. But when I need to be I can step it up and be a brave girl. I guess I always knew I had it in me but I didn't realize it until I was standing up to security guards and stuff at Nebraska Furniture Mart. Then I realized if I can be this brave here how come I can't be brave like that all the time? Then I got my answer. I figured out I go through day to day life pretty numb. What do I mean by numb? I mean I take the easiest route possible to avoid confrontation, akwardness, and messy situations. I don't feel. Thats why when I go to concerts I feel so alive and free because I'm just me. I let my wings spread and I fly. I don't care weather people think I'm crazy, or if I'm dancing right, or if I look fat in my outfit. I'm just free and alive. It feels amazing, but the thing is I could feel that way every day if I just free myself. The thing is I'm already used to living this way, it will be hard and it will make life more difficult but the way i'm going now I'm just wasting my life away you know?

Then of course I got back to thinking about Prince. I'm sorry for those of you who are annoyed that I blog about him so much. I just think about him a lot. I'm not over him, and when I say I am I'm trying to be numb again. If I really let myself feel my heart always goes back to him. I don't know why. I just do. He's my boy you know? Not in the same way as Trey Songz, and Justin Bieber but in a way that just touches my heart. I try to convince myself thats now true though. I spend a lot of time trying to find reasons why I shouldn't tell him smushing my self confidence in the process. Maybe realistically there is a shot for me and him. Maybe we do have things in common, and we do belong together. I was once told to never chase boys, it kills all the appeal. I want to be chased. I want Prince to want me just as much as I want him. My head says he dosen't, my heart says that deep down in his heart somewhere he does. Which ones right? I have no idea. But here I am thinking about him again. My man, my prince.

song of the day:Pray by Justin Bieber

quote of the day: Sometimes people (like me) put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.