"When you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think of me.."

You know what they say. You live and you learn. For awhile I was just upset with the people in my life. I blamed the wrong people, and it finally clicked that I was being selfish about the whole thing. The world does not revolve around me, and people can't be all they have going on at the snap of a finger. I can't talk our every life decision or moment with someone, unless their my husband or something. Seeing as there's not ring and my finger and no one has vowed to listen to my every complaint and help me work through every issue yet; It was wrong for me to blame people. It's a busy world where everyone has busy lives and their own ish to deal with. That's just how it goes. I'm a big girl now (figuratively & literally, but that's a problem for a different day). I need to learn to make more of my own decisions and not consult someone on every little thing. I need to appreciate the advice I've recieved from people, soak it in, and live life. On my own. By myself. Just typing that line made me realize it's a lie. Not by myself. God is always with me and as the Chris Tomlin song goes "If our God is for us, then who could ever stop us". No human, no test, no police officer, nothing can stop me. That gives me the courage I have to live my life and face the trials and tribulations of every day.

Sometimes I just need to vent. That's what this blog was for for a period of my life. I still can, but I stopped being t-swift shady and naming names. It makes the whole thing a lot less fun, but this is not Gossip Girl and none of those people deserved it. Not then or now. It just took me awhile to realize it. I appreciate those that do listen to me vent, and I hope you all know if you need someone to cry with or to just listen I'm here. You can leave a comment or call day or night. You're not alone. I'm thinking about getting an actual journal or something I can write the actual day to day stuff in. Tales of what happened and such. But I'm always paranoid about someone reading it when I'm not around. For some reason I don't feel that way about the blog. That's just the way it is I guess.

It was really sad for me to hear about Paris Jackson's suicide attempt. I hate to be the stereyotyping type, but I kind of saw it coming when she chopped her hair off and died it black then wore nothing but black for months at a time. Everyone kept meantioning the fact that she has everything a girl could want. Pony's, electronics, a mansion, and a pool side view. They forget that she doesn't have a father. I still almost tear up when I see that video of her on stage at the memorial talking about "my daddy was the best daddy in the whole wide world". It just breaks my heart that she had to lose her rock so early in life. High school can be rough and it can't be easy with people having your face all over magazines criticizing every little thing about your life. I'm praying for her and all who are in her situation. I hope that people can realize life is worth living. There's so much to see and so much to do and so much to experience. There are people to fall in love with, degrees to be had, and a million and one awesome concerts to bring the magic to your life. She's young though. Growing up isn't just for new privileges. It's from learning from years past and making sure not to repeat mistakes. Finding out who you are and what you believe in. Growing mentally and emotionally, not just physically. Sometime I feel like I'm the the only one who thinks about that side.

More thoughts coming soon. I was silly enough to take Summer classes and that alarm is going to wring at 7:11 am tomorrow. I'm already not ready to get up. Hasta La Vista, babes. xoxo

Song of the day : Tim Mcgraw by Taylor Swift (I found her old music again. It lights up my life just like it did six years ago when I first heard it). Sorry the title isn't relevant at all to the post. I do that sometimes.