"Lead me with strong hands. Stand up when I can't...Show me you're willing to fight. That I'm still the love of your life".

It can be kind of hard for me to figure out exactly what I want. When I started writing out my thoughts on this blog, it became a little more clear as the days went on.  Maybe that will happen again. My number one goal at this moment is getting into pharmacy school. That means maintaining my grades, volunteering, and soaking in the information I learn now so I can put it to good use later. I would also like the basics that everyone wants : to be a good person, grow in my faith, lose weight, keep a positive outlook on life, get married and have children before I'm old (30) and achieve happiness. The first word that came to mind was a state of contentment, but I want to aim higher then that. Happiness. I realize that this can't be gained by checking every factor off my list, but it's definitely a start.

When I get married was trending on twitter. A lot of it was jokes for days, but some of it was serious and made me think a little deeper. What do I want?

1. The first thing that popped in my head is this song. It's called Lead Me by Sanctus Real. The chorus goes
"Lead me with strong hands/stand up when I can't/don't leave me hungry for love chasing things/Show me you're willing to fight that I'm still the love of your life." Here's the link if you're curious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl6szsGsE1s . The words just resonate with me. I want someone who's willing to lead. To be a man. I want someone who's affectionate that believes in what we have. Believes in it so much that they would go to hell and back to make it work.

2. Someone I can grow with. Most people get divorced, and say "they're not the person I fell in love with" . Of course they're not. When you fell in love you were young with an entirely different set of problems. It was just you, no children. You're supposed to grow together as one unit and do your best to compromise and move in the same direction. I would like us to have similar goals, but be comitted enough to the relationship to know how to sacrifice.

3. I want a best friend. Someone I can talk to about anything and everything. Someone I can laugh with and someone I can cry with. The kind of person who will get excited with me about the silliest things and always be my partner in crime. I should never have to be anything other then myself around them. It should be one hundred percent open and honest. I read somewhere about Channing Tatum and his wife. We all know Channing Tatum is a real catch in more ways but one. But every day him and his wife ask ask each other "how much do you love me today?" . They answer with a number on a scale of one to ten. When it's more of a two kind of days they talk about what it is their missing and why their unsatisfied. When it's a ten kind of day they thank each other for being 100% into what they have. I thought it was beautiful.

4. I need a God fearing man. Religion is so important to me. It makes me who I am, and it encourages me to live my life the way I do, because I see the bigger picture. I would like someone who encourages me and helps me grow my relation ship with God. A believer who's willing to remind me of the light at the end of the tunnel when I feel down and helpless.

5. He needs to be open to different cultures. I'm an African girl. I speak swahili when i'm excited. I cook African food. I think I look my prettiest when my henna's done right. I need someone who could understand that side of me and feel comfortable in that kind of environment. They need to understand both of the cultures that I'm a part of , and I realize that that's no easy task.

6. I  want someone who could be a great father to our children. They don't have to be one now, but someone that could grow into it. Someone that could support them. Be a man who show's a little boy how to be a man, and a little girl what she deserves. Someone who's involved in the soccer games or choir concerts.Someone like my own dad. I'm young now and not really ready to have anyones baby. Occasionally I catch the fever, but I don't get carried away.
             
   b. I would prefer if they didn't have a baby mama. I get that at this point in time that's really rare and hard to find. I don't have the typical black girl "that chick trapped my man" hatred. Here's the thing. When you have a baby with someone, it connects you in an unbelievable way. For the rest of your lives and that childs you have Christmas's, birthday's, and everything else that comes with loving that child. You also have love for the woman that gave you that child. You can't have two families and one happy home. At some point you're going to have to sacrifice someone one family needs for the other. You're always in two places feeling like maybe you should be at the other. Someone loses and it just doesn't seem like a fair situation. I'm also not really up for the whole "sister wives" thing, so I just can't see that working out.

7. Someone I can talk to about everything and anything. Every single fear I have, every little hope I have for the future. Someone who's willing to listen to me blab about the Kardashians and listen to the silly songs I write when I'm in one of those moods. Someone I can laugh with. The little things, the big things. Laughter is so important.

8. I need someone that brings out the best in me. The kind of man that's strong enough to say no or tell me what I'm doing is wrong. I can't promise that i'll never lose my way, but it helps to have someone that has my best interest at heart to lead me back to where I need to be. To never let me lose sight of who I am and where I came from.

9. I like cuddling. I like the line from the song chasing cars "If I just lay here..if I just lay here with you..Will you lie with me and just forget the world?". I don't want the kind of person I always feel like I have to impress. We should always have to dress up or ever feel not good enough. It needs to be the "hair tied, sweats on, chilling with no makeup on. That's when you're the prettiest I hope that you don't take it wrong" kind of relationship.

10. Everything I want can be summed up by one of my favorite Bible verses. Corinthians 13: 4-8 "Love is Patient. Love is Kind. It does not envy; It does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails".