"I had the time of my life and I never felt this way before/And I swear this is true and I owe it all to you"

Today is the very last day of 2011. As always i'm going to do a little reccap of my favorite moments of the year. I couldn't have asked for a better 365 days. A lot of dreams of mine came true, I did a lot of fearless things, and I laughed a lot. Those are the moments that count right? The ones where we smile and feel on top of the world. Here's the list of mine.

1. Oh Canada, Oh Canada: I waited my entire life to take a family vacation to Canada. Finally this year we got on the road and headed there. I'll never forget reaching the border and my parents telling the patrol officer that "We came here because she's obsessed with Justin Bieber". I fell in love with the country so fast. Toronto was amazing and super diverse. I enjoyed my evening walking around danders square and my Tim Hortons for breakfast(I'm officially a Timmy Ho that stuff is GOOD). Niagra Falls was something unbelievable and I was glad to see one of the wonders of the world.



The best part of the trip of course was Stratford. I loved it there. It was so cute and cultured. Super tiny. I got to go to every single scene from Never Say Never there. Saw all of Justin's favorite spots. Ate at his favorite pizza restaurant and went to his house. Meeting his uncle and his dog was AWESOME and getting a tour of his room was unbelievable!! I'm the luckiest belieber alive.




2. There's no place like Chicago: Going to Chicago with my family was also fabulous. It was another place we'd always wanted to go to and never got to. I was in love with the fancy hotel we got to go with and couldn't get overt he fact we had a concierge. Going up Willis Tower was pretty magical but what I really loved was walking around The Taste of Chicago and Navy Pier with my mom, dad, and brother. Their the best, I love them!






3. Taylor Swift's Speak Now Tour : I am the biggest Taylor Swift fan that ever lived. I got to see her in concert last year but seeing her again this year just made my life. I love and knew every single word to every song on her album Speak Now. Seeing it all play out and her vision come to life was just out of this world. I also got to go with one of closest friends which made the whole experience that much better. I'll never forget the firework show for sparks fly, the trapeeze artists for Haunted, and her soaring over the audience in a sparkly princess dress. My friend and I had made a sign trying to get into the Tea Party. It had balloons attached and when Taylor first came out we let go of one of the balloons and she watched it fly away. It was the coolest thing. We found out after the show that there was no tea party but we still waited with the other fans and watched her car drive away.




4. Demi Lovato's Unbroken Tour: This year I became a huge Demi Lovato fan. Before i'd always been a fan of This is Me from Camp Rock and when I was younger I watched her on Barney but that was all I knew of her. But when I heard the story's of her struggle I had great admiration for Demi Lovato the person. She was so strong, stylish, and pretty I wanted and still do want to be just like her. I went to her concert determined to meet her and fate brought my mom to park right behind her tour bus when she dropped of me, my friend, and her sister. We totally knocked on the door and tried to go in but no one was in there. Her guitarist ended up telling us he liked our poster while we were standing there but we didn't know who he was. We went on to meet him later and shake his hand. We also met Demi Lovato herself. She was the sweetest person and it was unforgettable. She touched my poster too. It's on my wall. Pretty cool.




5. Hooligans in Wondaland: Bruno Mars. Do I even have to say more? He's drool worthy. I love him. I got to see him at the Independence Center and fell head over heels in love. The concert was really chill. We were in the pit so we got to stand only a few rows back. He was so close and I could feel his spirit. He totally looked into my eyes a couple times during Just the Way You Are and Talking to The Moon (Bible!) . I went with two of my great friends and it was simply unforgettable. We tried to chase him down too. It didn't work but it was still fun.



6. ART's Talent Showcase: Over the summer I watched Selena Gomez and Nicki Minaj's true hollywood stories and decided that I was going to be famous too no matter what it took. I was going to start on Disney Channel then become a breakout artist from there like Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake did. Fate brought this advertisement for an orginization looking for talented people of all ages. I signed me and my brother up and my mom laughed like crazy as we practiced for our big audition. For my audition I did a toothpaste commercial and sang Sky Scraper by Demi Lovato. My brother just did a candy commercial but the lady loved him. Imagine our surprise when we got called the next day and told we made it. We were so sure we were both going to be famous and my mom would quit her job. It was great..until we found out attending the event and taking the classes we need would cost about $2,500 a piece. We couldn't afford it and I had to let my dream go, but it was an opportunity to be fearless and show the world what i'm made of. We had to audition in front of like a hundred people. I'm proud of even making it that far and if I was meant to be famous, it'll happen. Maybe in 2012.

7. I went to St. Louis twice this year. Once in the summer and another time on Labor Day weekend. The first time was with my girl scout troop and although the trip was filled with drama I had a great time. I enjoyed spending time away from everything with my friend. I got to go up the St. Louis Arch and check one more big monument off my list. We went to the City Museum and climbed through all the tubes and wires. We saw the St. Louis zoo, and I was reunited with my favorite store : Love Culture. I got to buy some cute clothes and it was awesome. The second time was for my aunts baby shower and I had a good time chilling and taking a road trip with my little cousins.







8. I did actually do something with my acting and singing love in school. This was my first year in Encore the show that my school puts on. I was only in one number (I Wanna Dance With Somebody), but I had a really good time singing and getting close to people backstage. We talked about nothing and everything which was nice. I also did my first musical : Bye Bye Birdie. It was super good. I got a minor roll as an adult but I really enjoyed singing all the songs and dancing around. It was a great time. I'll never forget the words to "We love you conrad, oh yes we do. We love you conrad and we'll be true)



9. I started my last year of high school and started doing all the fun things that come with graduating. Taking senior pictures was a lot of fun and those will last a lifetime. I went to my first "real" high school party and figured out I hadn't been missing much all those years.




10. All the little moments. There are too many to count. Going to church camp and youth events, shooting a movie in all british accents with my friends, shopping with my mom and my cousin, doing "one tree hill club" with my cousin and my brother, Going over to my best friends for summer and getting ourselves into all the crazy messes we always do, sending my ultimate crush a love letter only to find out he didn't care enough to write back, moving past "the prince", saving the post office, reading a good book under the tree, dancing around to Nicki Mianj's super bass video, being obbsessed with twitter, using and iPhone, and everything else that came along with 2011.













It was a great year and I can only hope that 2012 will bring me as many amazing experiences as 2011 did. I hope to travel and see new parts of the world. I want to get good scholorships. I want to go to as many concerts as I possibly can. Fall in Love. Become Famous. All before I turn 18. Don't think it's possible? Don't underestimate the power of me. I can do anything I set my mind to. HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE everyone!

Top 25 Songs of 2011: "You've got that smile that only heaven can make/I pray to God every day that you keep that smile"

1. Next 2 You by Justin Bieber and Chris Brown: I've listened to this song over and over again since I heard it this summer. I was really hoping the F.A.M.E. album Chris Brown released would be good and he didn't disappoint. It was spectacular but this was the shining star of the album. Their voices sounded perfect and very similar. The music video was amazing. The song and everything about it was and still is simply perfection.

2. Rolling in the Deep by Adele: Adele's album 21 was hands down the best album of the year. Every single song on the album was heart felt and perfect, but this is the one everyone was singing. You could just feel the anger and regret in her voice. It was the perfect soundtrack to an upsetting evening. Not to mention her voice is flawless in this track.

3. How To Love by Lil Wayne: If you asked me a year ago, I would tell you there was absolutely no way Lil Wayne would ever make my top five songs of the year, or even top 25. This song was different though. There was no cussing and it was slow and heart felt. The guitar instrumental in the back was simple and wonderful. The lyrics were relatable. The Justin Bieber remix blew me away. This song is number three and rightfully so. It made me see Weezy in a whole different light.

4. If I Die Young by The Band Perry : A lot of people said this song was sad and depressing, but I was super impressed by how different it is from the other songs that came out this year. It wasn't really about love, sex, or partying. It was about a girl and her brothers having serious thoughts about the very real possibility of them dropping dead that very instant. The lyrics were really smart and made you think. It was a brilliant song.

5. Best Thing I Never Had by Beyonce : 2011 was the year Beyonce released her 5th album which wasn't quit the success everyone thought it would be. But this song was exactly what the entire album should of been. It had catchy lyrics. For once the girl wasn't sitting around wishing the guy would come back to her. She showed what a strong woman looks like. I was also very in love with the music video. She looked gorgeous in that wedding dress. And her voice was stunning. She hit all kinds of notes and hit them with power. She earned her title of Queen B.

6. Just A Kiss by Lady Antebellum : I know there are a lot of country haters out there but how could you not love this song. The harmonies are beyond amazing and the words are just perfect, "I don't want to mess this thing up. I don't want to push too far. Just a shot in the dark that you might be the one i've been waiting for my whole life. So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight". The hopeless romantic in me loves every moment of the song and can just see it playing out.

7. Stereo Hearts by The Gym Class Hero's ft. Adam Levine :The gym class hero's are back and they came back with a bang. I absolutely adored this song. It was really sweet and the kind of slow rap that I enjoy listening too. It had a cute theme and is hard not to love.

8. Someone Like You by Adele : I adored this song in every possible way. Start any verse and I can finish it for you. It was another heartfelt piece from Adele's album 21. I really felt her pain in this song, and once again you can just really hear her heart in it. It makes a song that much more special when it's sung with passion.

9. Headlines by Drake : This year I fell head over heels in love with Drake. I always thought he was cute and new his hit songs but this year I became a true fan. I love love love love his album Take Care. His lyrics are just really catchy and make you think. I liked this line, "Listen to you expressing all them feelings. Soap Opera rappers all these n****s sound like All My Children" . All my children is a soap on television drama and he's comparing their dramaticness to the stuff on the show.

10. Marvin's Room by Drake : Yes, Drake got two songs back to back. He's just that great. It was a touch decision picking which of these songs belonged higher on the list. Their both equally good songs. I love this song because Drake shows his emotional side. I like the little details he added with the people he's talking to on the phone. A billion people went ahead and made covers of this song (my favorite was JoJo's). I felt like he was singing to me, and I was ready to leave somebody for him (if I had someone to leave haha). Who wouldn't leave for Drake. He's a handsome canadian that is completely irresistible. He shone real bright this year.

11. Lights by Bad Vs. Evil (aka Eminem and some other guy) ft. Bruno Mars : I've been an Eminem fan for forever and couldn't wait for him to release more music. Imagine how ecstatic I was when I found out he was releasing it with Bruno Mars. Ahhhh. The song was awesome and beyond inspirational. I loved the video they released and for once he wasn't angry; he was hopeful. His lyrics were fabulous as always and I really enjoyed the song this year.

12. The Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga : There is no one like mother monster. I am proud to be a little monster and this was the song I couldn't get enough of on Born This Way. I shed seven pounds listening to this song on the treadmill. It just lifts my spirits up and is fun and exciting. Her voice continues to blow me away time after time. It's almost like she's better without auto-tune. Seriously, did you hear her on her thanksgiving special? Good stuff.

13. Should've Kissed You by Chris Brown : This was the other song on the F.A.M.E. album I couldn't get enough of. It's about a feeling I know about. Getting all nervous around someone that really means a lot to you. His voice is exquisite in the song, and brought out the cute cuddly non-tattooed Chris Brown I fell in love with back in 2007.

14. Turning Table by Adele : Now that I think about it this is the song I related to the most on Adele's album. I really loved the line "Next time i'll be braver, i'll be my own savior". I tweeted it a million times and when something bad happened I would think those words to myself. And I was braver the next time. Adele's song brought out the fearless, bad girl in me.

15. Skyscraper by Demi Lovato : This song represents the amazing come back she made this year. The lyrics also spoke to me. It was about how people can do everything in their power to bring you down, but it won't work. This song represented the struggle Demi had her whole life before rehab. It was the anthem to all of us lovatics saying "Stay Strong" and "Love is Louder". It also got me into the ARTs talent search before I found out I couldn't afford to go. It meant a lot to me.

16. Up 2 You by Chris Brown : I love me some slow and sexy Chris Brown songs. This was the one that really stuck out to me on the album. It had a classic R&B sound and it spoke to me. There's not much to say about it. I just loved it and still do. I thought it was cool how he talked about how he's "messed up in love before" and was going to be careful with whoever he dates next or is with (cough cough ME cough cough)

17. A Thousand Years by Christina Perri : This song came to my life just a couple months ago. It was featured on one of my favorite movies of year - Breaking Dawn. The lyrics were beautiful. I hadn't heard more music from Christina since Jar of Hearts but this was a different happier song. I loved the lyrics, "I have died every day waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years". It really represented Bella and Edward well. I was bummed it wasn't featured in the movie with words. They just played the tune during some scenes.

18. We Found Love by Rihanna : I LOVE this song. It's just so upbeat and fun. It makes me break out in dance no matter where I am. Like all of Rihanna's music it's just so loud, fun, and alive. She's never sappy or torn up about stuff. She's just an energetic island girl and it really comes out in her music. It makes me want to be an energetic island girl and dye me hair red. Just kidding about the hair part. The beat was awesome though and this was another big workout song for me this year.

19. The One That Got Away by Katy Perry : The first thing that came to mind as I was typing the name of the song was the video and how creepy it was. I love Katy Perry but she makes a scry looking old person. Video aside the song was awesome. It was an upbeat approach at loosing someone who was close to you. We all know what that feels like so the song was relatable and fun like every Katy Perry song is.

20. Without You by David Guetta ft. Usher : This was the perfect duet by two guys. I feel like it's rare two guys that aren't rappers will come together and sing an emotional duet like this. The beat was awesome and got me dancing. Usher is always amazing. Living proof that great music still exists in our generation.

21. Take Care by Drake ft. Rihanna : I listened to the song and told myself it was definitely worth the wait. I like the drum beat that starts playing halfway through the song. It has an African or Jamaican vibe. Rihanna's voice is beautiufl and Drake just kills the whole song with the lyrics. My favorite line is "What's a life with no fun? Please don't be so ashamed. I've had mine, you've had yours, we both know". That's the part where I always really start dancing. For once the song that the album was named after wasn't a disappointment.

22. It Girl by Jason Derulo : Couldn't you just hear the whistling when I mentioned the song? I thought that it was a nice touch to an already great song. It was cool that he used a star from my favorite show Gossip Girl in the video. Lots of cool points for that.

23. God Gave Me You by Blake Shelton : I can't tell you how many times I found myself on long walks listening to this part. I start relating from the first line "I've been a walking heartache, i've made a mess of things. The person that i've been lately ain't who I want to beeeee". It's a good song to listen to when you have hit rock bottom because it reminds me of the people who can make me smile through it all.

24. Drummer Boy by Justin Bieber ft. Busta Ryhmes : The little drummer boy was always one of my favorite Christmas carols. When I heard Justin Bieber was making a Christmas album I said he has to do this one, because he plays the drums. I was super impressed with what I got. He added the awesome rap part as Shawty Mane and Busta Rhymes did his thing amazingly as always. My favorite line was "Playing for the King. Playing for the title. I'm surprised you didn't hear this in the bible"

25. Best Love Song by T-Pain ft. Chris Brown : I was obsessed with this song when it came out. I've actually been a T-pain fan since 7th grade. Everyone always makes fun of him for being auto-tuned or whatever but i've always liked his lyrics and this song took it a different level. The piano part was killer, and everything else was on point. The music video was adorable. I loved the song and listened all year long.



Honorable Mention: This goes out to all the songs I love that were technically released in 2010. Shoutout to Nicki Minaj and Bruno Mars for making some of the best songs that topped the charts this year. If it was just songs I enjoyed this year in general Super Bass would have definitely been number one. The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars would also be high up there. Not to mention Fly my anthem. Rihanna would be on there with California King Bed.

"When will this fantasy end/When will heaven begin"

Did you know genuinely good people still exist? The kind that open doors for people, pick flowers for their elderly neighbor, and sacrifice their life for someone else. I forget sometimes. When I watch the news all I hear are stories of people doing terrible, cold hearted things. It makes me feel awful about the world I live it. But every once in awhile a story comes out that makes me remember that most people are naturally good. I recently watched CNN and watched something good and bad. I'll start with the bad news first.

I heard a story about a man who had just returned home from Iraq. It was Christmas Day and he was watching the NBA start their season with his brother and his brother's friend. They were both rooting for different teams and when the guy who just got out of the army's team won they started a little trash talking. His brother's friend was so offended he pulled out a gun and shot him like 10 times. Over a silly little basketball game. They dialed 911 and got him to the hospital as soon as they could, but it wasn't soon enough. The man was paralized from the neck down and will probably never walk again. This isn't the most positive thing to say but i'm going to be real; his life is over before it even began. Right after high school he went off to protect our country which I kind of admire (I say kind of because shooting innocent iraqi's doesn't really help me any and I'm not a fan of this war. I personally could never shoot anyone even if it was for a strong cause like protecting the country). Anyways I felt terrible when I heard this, but the light at the end of the tunnel was that the man had hope for his future and felt like it could have been worse. Everything happens for a reason, but it's sad what the world has come to.

The positive story was a young man named Ben Breedlove. Now I had seen his name in a tweet Kim Kardashian sent and for some reason I thought he was the NBA player that had passed away. Anyways, I was watching CNN and they mentioned this must see youtube video. They showed a little clip and I just got a strong urge to watch it. Here's the link to the video : part 1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXEHsHKZreI part 2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF1Ju60nBbU&feature=related . I really suggest you watch the video. In the video's he tells his life story. He was born with a heart condition called HCM. It caused him to almost die three times. Each other the three times he saw a light and felt a peace he'd never experienced before. He felt heaven. It was so good he didn't want to come back to earth. He passed away on Christmas day at only 18 years old (before he'd even lived). But in the video he talks about how he feels good about the life he lived. He was ready to die, because he knows he has nothing to fear. His strength in God and belief in heaven got him through it all. He was a very handsome guy (is it wrong to say that about a dead person?). I think his video reminded me that when God is on your side you have nothing to fear. This is the verse my grandma said before she passed away and one that relates to Ben's story, " Though I may walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me" - Psalms 23: 4

Song of the day: Mr. Rager by Kid Cudi (this is the song that Ben would listen to to keep him going. He really related to the lyrics about going to heaven. Kid Cudi actually made a statement about Ben that was really sweet

"Iam so sad about Ben Breedlove. I watched the video he left for the world to see, and him seeing me in detail, in his vision really warmed my heart. I broke down, Iam to tears because I hate how life is so unfair. This has really touched my heart in a way I cant describe, this is why I do what I do. Why I write my life, and why I love you all so much. Life is really fucked up sometimes, but I know Ben is at Peace, and I hope he gets a chance to sit and talk with my Dad. We love you Ben. Forever. Thank you for loving me. To Ben’s family, you raised a real hero, he’s definately mine. You have my love"

I bet Ben's smiling in heaven. )

quote of the day: "When will this fantasy end/When will heaven begin" - This is the line Ben really related too in Mr. Rager

"If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

So I had the best couple of days ever, it'll fill you in. Tuesday and Wednesday I had my two little cousins (age: 10 & 5) over. They were a lot of fun. I took them, my brother, and his friend to see Alvin and the Chipmunks : Chipwrecked. It was actually pretty decent. I didn't fall asleep like in the last movie I took them too. As always going to the movie with little ones is a challenge. My brother and his friends were obsessed with getting as many refills as possible. My 10 year old cousin got sick and threw up (in the bathroom thank god), and my baby cousin (she's 5 but she's still the baby) had to use the bathroom and take little movie breaks. So what I saw of the movie, was really good. After we came back home we had dinner and did makeovers with the two girls. They got all dressed up in my old dresses and halloween costumes and felt like princesses. It was a lot of fun. I don't have little sisters so I enjoy having those two around. The day after that I took them to the park and we just hung out. It was fun.

Today I went and got my hair done after if got burned or some kind of drama. For those of you who don't have relaxers drama is common. I have the best hairstylist in town and she works miracles with my hair but the side effects are just there. I'm leaving my hair natural, well not natural but without a weave or extension for now. I want to just do me and bring the new year in as me. You always year boys (especially black boys) talking about "I want a girl with "good" hair" or "my babies better have good hair". It would always just make me self concious that I don't have "Good hair". It grows out of my head and it's hair. I'm going to try and work with what God gave me. And in all honesty, people have a lot nappier hair then I do. If anything I should be thankful. I didn't mean to go on a rant, but afterwards I went shopping with my mom and got a ton of new clothes that i'm really in love with. I'm trying to start the year off with a new look.

I get upset at little things that have to do with my friends a lot. I don't mean too it just happens. So I told you about having everyone over for my birthday right? Well none of them brought me a gift. Pretty sure I got every one of them that invited me over something on their birthday. It may be part of growing up but I think it's nice to show concern for someone. It took me back to the junior high days when i'd make locker signs for all of their lockers on their birthdays and no one made me any all three years on my birthday. Shout out to my friend Olivia Marshall who made me one 9th grade year. I'll always remember that. It just makes me kind of sad that none of them care enough to even make me a card or anything. Whatever. I always let go but never forget. And shoutout to my bestie: S. the brave for getting me an awesome gift. She couldn't make it to my party but still showed concern. So to O. and S., Love you guys. Everyone else, do better but I love you too

To go back to the title of the blog don't you just adore this line, "If I just lay here, will you lie with me and just forget the world?" To me it's like the image of true love. Two people being able to just lay there not talking or trying to impress each other. Just being. Doesn't get better then that.

song of the day: Chasing Cars by snow patrol (that's where the lines from)

quote of the day: Nothing is easy to the unwilling

Best Television Shows of 2011

1. Gossip Girl: Absolutely nothing compares to the thrill of waiting to see if Chuck and Blair will prove the critics wrong and find each other at the end. The chemistry between Ed Westwick and Leighten Messier is like nothing i've ever seen before. I don't think I missed a single episode. If it's Monday night at 7, you know i'm watching!

2. Modern Family: It's the only real comedy show on television. It's real and it's funny. Every episode gives you a laugh and no two episodes are the same. It's impossible to get tired of the funny families.

3. One Tree Hill: They said it was the last season, but the fans of one tree hill have loved the show for too long to get a random ending. They renewed the show for one final goodbye season which is just what we need after such wonderful things happened in the last season. The rights make the characters touch your heart. The words spoken teach the viewers so much every single episode. I Can't get enough of it.

4. Keeping Up With the Kardashians/Khloe and Lamar/Kim and Kourtney Take New York: No matter what they're calling the show I can't get enough of the kardashians. All the drama and all the love is just so fascinating. This year was huge with Kim's wedding and a crazy amount of viewers watched only for her to get divorced 72 days later. Weather it's fake or real, I can't get enough of the kardashians!!

5. Glee: Singing, dancing, drama need I say more. It's a feel good show about underdogs. I think everyones felt like a loser at some point in their life so watching all the kids on glee deal with it and move on with life in a positive way is quite inspiring. You never know what's going to happen on the show, and that's what keeps me watching.

6. Sister Wives: Most people wouldn't even put the show on the list but it's interesting. I learn something new every time I watch the program and me, my cousin, and my brother watched it ever weekend.

7. T.I. and Tiny : The Family Hustle : I've been a big fan on Tiny and T.I. from the start. Their show is just what I hoped it would be. The two of them have a lot of passion and can move mountains together. It's nice to get a chance to know T.I.'s other kids. The show makes him come off as a great father and a very educated man. I enjoy watching every week.

8. La La's Full Court Life: La La vasquez always appeared to be like all the other basketball wives. She's married to the very cute Carmelo Anthony and has an adorable side. Who knew she had a fun side? The show showed her as a very cool up and coming side. It's always fun to watch.

9 . This should be number three but i'm too lazy to change the numbers. The Secret Life of the American Teenager is pure genius. It's been so fun to watch Amy and Ricky's family situation progress over time and this year he finally proposed to her!! I couldn't be happier for their little family. Even if they were real people.

10. Toya's Family Affair: Toya got married!! And we got to watch her fall in love and get married on televsion!! As a black woman it was a moment of hope. When people are saying "80 % of dark skinned girls will probably end up unmarried in the modern world" she proved them wrong and found a man who truly loves her. She has a ton of family drama that she worked through and it made me truly proud of her. Reginae Carter is also one cool chick. Not only is she Lil Wayne's daughter but she's funny. The show gave the world a chance to see another side of her.

Celebrity Moments of 2011

1. The Royal Wedding: William and Kate's wedding was my favorite event of the year. I'll never forget watching Prince William and Prince Harry's sleek black car leave Bukingham Palace and head towards the West Minister Abby church. Kate showed up in a gown that will be remembered and mimicked for generations. As she exited the car all eyes were on Pippa though, and her perfect european figure. I woke up at 4 a.m. on April 11th to witness true love at work. It was the stuff of fairytales.



2. Kim and Kris's wedding : We all waited and watched to see the wedding of our favorite reality television star. We spent all year watching Kim on Kim and Kourtney Take New York. She was looking for love and found it. He came as a tall, dark, and handsome NBA player. Kim was living the dream. Kim wore three absolutely gorgeous Vera Wang gowns. The details in the reception were exquisite, and everyone was all smiles. It looked perfect...till it ended 72 days later. Poor Kim.



3. Justin and Selena were the power couple that took over the world. Justin started the year off the bang with his movie and matching soundtrack: Never Say Never. Never Say Never became the best selling concert movie of all time. Selena released her album We Own The Night and classified herself as a new artist. They both went on tour all over the world and hit up every beach along the way. It wasn't all happy moments: Selena's mother miscarried what was supposed to be her first sibling, Justin was so swarmed by paparazzi he couldn't enjoy the holy land, and let's not forget the women who claimed to father Justin's child. Despite all the bad, they still smooched at every award show and showed the world they were unbreakable.



4. Some things came to an end. Oprah ended after 25 seasons as the number one talk show on television. She ended with a bang and all the celebrity community came out and supported her show. Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows pt. 2 was amazing. It was the last of the series that I grew up with. I read every book and saw every moment, but watching Harry all grown up was surly a movie I will never forget.



5. Charlie Sheen lost his place on his hit show (My dad's favorite) Two and A Half Men. He got a million followers in one day and was seen on every news station completely drunk and drugged up. He left all of us saying "Winning" after ever great thing that happened.



6. Arnold Swartzenager pulled the classic story of the "happily married rich men" screwing the maid and fathering a child. It only took him 10 years to fess up to his poor wife Maria Shriver (a decsendant of the Kennedy family). Being the strong women she is she walked about and didn't shed a tear (on television anyways).



7. We lost some great stars: Amy Winehouse suffered joined the 27 club when she passed away in her home from alcohol related issues. Dame Elizabeth Taylor left us as well due to health complications and old names. Steve Jobs who created all the cool gadgets we adored in 2011 (iPods, iPads, iPhones)lost his battle with cancer. All three household names are gone but never forgotten.



8. Chris Brown finally made his comeback after the mishap with Rihanba. His album F.A.M.E. (Fans are my everything) debued at number one and I didn't have to feel guilty about listening to his music anymore. We also found out he looks cute as a blond. There was a little drama when Robin fron the Today Show interviewed him and asked him about "Rihanna". He responded by discontinuing the interview, throwing a chair threw the glass window, and walking around Time Square with his shirt off. Hey...no one said he was perfect.



9. Rebecca Black. Do I really need to say more? This girl trended on twitter for like a week straight. Her auto-tuned voice and weird pronunciations changed the world. FRY-DEYS (fridays) will never be the same. Don't forget that saturday comes after friday and before sunday. My favorite line was, "Gotta have a bowl, gotta have cereal"



10. Everyone took pictures planking in the weirdest possible places. There was a drama about how planking originated from the slavery days but it didn't stop it from being everywhere. My personal favorite planking pair: Justin Bieber and Diggy Simmons



11. Demi Lovato got out of rehab and came back better then ever. She released my favorite of her albums Unbroken. She shared her struggles with the public in an effort to show the teens of America that it's okay to be proud of who you are and love your imperfections. She made sure everyone knew "Curves are Sexy" and "Sober is Sexy", and "Love is louder then the pressure to be perfect". She tattooed Stay Strong on her wrists as inspiration to herself and it became the anthems of lovotics everywhere. I'm proud of her accomplishments.



12. The NBA lockout: You can't forget all of us feeling bad for the poor, unemployed millionares who quit playing because they didn't feel like they were making enough. I was just having a hater moment, I was on the side of the players. The NBA workers are making millions of dollars off the players talent and there is no NBA without then men who work so hard. They also sacrifice time with their families and their physical health by playing the game. I believe anyone who has extraordinary talent should earn what they deserve. Eventually a deal was struck and the boys started playing again Christmas Day.

"Now i'm not one to second guess what angels have to say, but this is such a strange way to save the world"

To my all my followers a belated MERRY CHRISTMAS, KWANZA, HAPPY HANNUKAH *busta rhymes voice*. The holiday season has come to an end and I have to admit it makes me a little sad. I love the holidays. I love the lights, the christmas tree, the sense of hope everyone seems to have, and just the feeling of love surrounding you. My Christmas was spent with those that I love the most (minus a few). Christmas Eve was spent cooking Biriani, or watching my mom do it because she hates anyone in the kitchen when she's at work. We sang Christmas carols and went to church twice. I was a bit disapointed by church though to tell you the truth. Christmas is something so special. I love how it's described in the song A Strange Way to Save The World. The song talks about how Joseph and Mary (Jesus's parents) must have felt. Mary gave birth to the son of God. IT doesn't get to be a bigger deal then that. It's huge! And the son of God wasn't born surrounded by gold and the sound of trumpets or anything to that extent. He was born in a stable and slept in a manger surrounded by sheaperds and farm animals. It was humble. It was real. I just love the Christmas story. Every year I read Luke 2:11 in complete awe. The story will never stop being completely magical to me.

After Church we went to my aunts house to hang out and have some cookies. By the time we got home it was Christmas. We hopped in bed and woke up fairly early to open presents. My brother got an iPad and various other games, I got the laptop which i'm typing this post on, Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift (The Monster Ball and Speak Now) Dvds. It was cool because I saw both shows and got to relive it. I got Never Say Never Directors Cut which comes with an hour of footage and all the items for the collecters edition. I got one of my favorite movies the notebook, and the Paris Hilton perfume. It was a great Christmas and got more then I ever could of dreamed of. It's not about the things but gifts sure are fun to get.

After our gift opening we had a party with the same people who always come. My uncles, my new baby cousin, and ALL of our family friends. We always have a good time together. It's nice to see everyone. Sometimes I feel like I feel closer to them then they do to me. I mean we grew up together, but ever since puberty it's like "Oh no, I can't talk to you. You're a girl and I might melt or you might think I like you". It's like with African guys instead of moving forward they revert back to kindergarden ways where girls have cooties and they must avoid them like the plague. It's cool, I'm over it. I hung out with my best friend and other little ones. It was a fun holiday and I'm glad I got to spend it with such great people. I feel very blessed.

song of the day: A Strange Way to Save The World

quote of the day: "For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son; that whosoever believeth in him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life"

"Como se llama (si), Bonita (si), Mi Casa (Shakira Shakirrrrra)

Well hello there,
I am so relaxed and so relieved that all the business that comes with december is over. I finished my finals and passed with flying colors. I couldn't be more proud of the B+ I scored in Calculus (it's been a living hell and it feels good to know my hard work payed off). So want to know what's been up with me lately? I turned 17!! I can officially see rated R movies and..well that's about the only new thing I can do. It's also fun to be the same age as most of my friends. Even if it's only for a little while. I started school early, so I always have to deal with being the young one.

So for my 17th Birthday on December 16th, 2011 I had a really chill time. I dressed up in my material girl outfit then headed to school. Didn't really tell anyone it was my birthday, because attention isn't my thing. Me and a couple friends got Chipotle for lunch then I came home. I opened my gifts. My parents got me mula, a curling iron, lotions, and a very cute outfit. I was extremely pleased. Then we drove over to Kansas City and picked up my bestie. We went to the plaza and I finally got to see the city lights people are always talking about. It was really pretty down there. I got to go to the brand new H&M. Let me say that again, Brand New H&M!! They finally built one close to me. I am beyond excited. I love that store. So many cute possibilities. After the brand new H&M, I went to forever 21 where I managed to spend all of my birthday money. I have a serious clothing addiction. I've had it since I was 7 years old. I just love shopping, and I love clothes. I also get tired of my clothes really fast and am always on the lookout for new looks and fashion ideas. So shopping was the PERFECT way to spend my big day.

The day after formal, I went and got my nails and eye brows done. My cousin did my hair and makeup so I felt all beautified. I got dressed and headed out to my last Winter Formal ever. I am a senior after all. I wore a black dress was gold jewels going across it and felt like Kim Kardashian. It was great. My friends and I met up at the worlds most busy restaurant only to find out it would be an hour and a half wait (this happened on my b-day too with the Cheesecake Factory). We ended up walking to the pizza place a couple stores down and enjoyed a delicious meal. There were money issues and no one had change. Few people have payed me and my other friend who paid back. I want my money back. Just putting that out there. Afterwards we went to the dance and I had a great dance. One of my friends that I don't see that often is a dancer so we kind of got started and everyone else joined (Thank God. I was worried no one would dance. My friends are unpredictable but I love them to pieces anyways). The music was great and my favorite moment of the night was Hips Don't Lie by Shakira and Yeah by Usher. Those are my songs. They can get me moving. Afterwards my friends came over for a non-awkward sleepover (something else to be excited about) and we had a great time together.

The day after THAT, I got to meet my adorable penpal. She's super cute and was born in mexico. She's fluent in spanish and english, loves Nicki Minaj, draws devil horns on everything when "the grown-ups aren't looking", and will be a princess someday. She reminded me of myself at a young age. She was super shy at first but then she got in the hang of things and we had a great time together. It was a pretty unforgettable weekend.

song of the day: Hips Don't Lie - Shakira

Quote of the day: Great thoughts speak only to the thoughtful mind, but great actions speak to all mankind.

"Sometimes it lasts the love, but sometimes it hurts instead"

Kimberly Kardashian and Kris Humphries. Did it pop in your head? This is what popped into mind :


Yup, the beautiful wedding. I can't believe I didn't blog about it, but I was completely obsessed. I got the special Kim's Fairytale Wedding magazine. I was genuinely happy for her, because I watch the show. She always said she dreamt of being married and having babies by thirty. Then by some miracle this perfect guy shows up. He's rich, tall, and handsome. They seemed like a match made in heaven. There were moment where I wasn't so sure. Like when Kim put her career before him and chose not to change her last name to Humphries or move to Minnesota. OR when it was the day before the wedding and Kris wasn't speaking to his bride. Neither was a good situation. But then when Kris sent Kim a beautiful bracelet with their initials on it right before she walked down the isle, and the smiles on their faces made you believe it was really was a fairtytale. Almost bigger and better then the royal wedding.

Then 72 days later on halloween, she filed for a divorce. I was in shock. I couldn't believe that the wedding we just saw on t.v. a month ago was over. My mom rubbed it in my face like there was no tomorrow. When we were watching the episode she suspected that they were just acting. Me being the hopeless romantic that I am believed that it was true love and Kim finally got the happy ending she was looking for. In an instand the fairytale was over. Rumors were swirling that she didn't even tell him she was going to file. She announced her divorce the day her mother's new book came out. Kris was demanding the ring back (it was over 2 million dollars, 1/3 of his yearly pay check). Things got ugly so fast.

Kim and Kourtney Take New York started it's brand new season on sunday and we got a little insight to what was going on in the Humphries household. Kris was being super messy in order to bug his clean freak of a wife. Kim liked being Kris's arm candy but wasn't really living up to the typical wife duties. She did naked yoga and had a but naked black man in their living room. Kris was hurt and I can see why. But after the first episode, I was on Kris's side. He was sweet and he kept saying " I love you" or "sorry I was such a jerk". We'll keep watching and see what happens. I'll do my best to keep you posted.

Oh and on a side note, Kourtney Kardashian is expecting her second child with Scott Disick! Yay! They make such cute babies. I'm glad something is going right for a kardashian woman.


song of the day: Take Care by Drake ft. Rihanna

quote of the day: Kim's message to her fans announcing her divorce : http://kimkardashian.celebuzz.com/2011/11/01/a-message-to-my-fans/

"You can break everything I am/like i'm made of glass..made of paper/Go on and try to tear me down/I will be rising from the ground like a Skyscraper"

On November 22nd, 2011 I went to the Unbroken Tour. There is nothing I like more then a good concert. Right after school my friend S and her sister came over to my house and we prepared for the big event. We made these really cool glow in the dark posters and hit the road. When we arrived at The Midland, my mom dropped us off at the side door. Behind a big, fancy tour bus. We automatically knew it was Demi's. The three of us were super excited and one of my friends knocked on the door. No one came. So we started walking on the sidewalk to see if we could find any other buses. On the way there, A guy walked past us and said, "Nice posters". He was really cute and really stylish, but we were in a strange city and didn't want to risk talking to strangers. He had his cell phone and was talking and next thing you know he walked into the backstage entrance of the Midland! He was with Demi! We couldn't believe it.

Since he made it look so easy we decided to open the door and go in. Imagine our surprise when there was an old security guard sitting on a chair just starring at us. We smiled and tried to sweet talk our way down but it didn't work. We met people outside who had met Demi with these special meet and greet passes, and two brothers and their sister who were trying to meet Demi. It was getting late so we entered the Midland and found our seats. We still hadn't given up. We saw that guy again, this time with a VIP pass come out of these curtains. Following the earlier trend, we went behind the curtain. There were signs and arrows leading to "dressing rooms". We had finally made it! We started fast walking when this big booming voice goes "TURN AROUND NOW". It was a different security guard. We started walking back but I tried to play dumb and walk the wrong direction. He wasn't in the mood for games and demanded I go the other way. We fast walked then disapeared into the bathroom so they wouldn't know which seats were ours. When we came back they had three very tough looking security guards watching the curtain and everyone that entered. I felt pretty bad a** being the reason they were there. I was finally fearless.

The show itself was amazing. Demi's voice was so strong and out of this world. She could hit all kinds of notes and had a lot of passion in her voice. She sang old songs and new songs. My favorites were Don't Forget, Lightweight, Skyscraper (she played piano beautifully with this one), Who's That Boy, Together, and so much more. I sang along to every work and was so proud of how far she's come this last year. As soon as she finished the encore, me and my friends ran out to her tour bus and sure enough, there were guards sitting there with these post things to hold people back. We started the line, and many people soon followed. We were waiting for Demi.

We stood there for almost 2 hours and her security guard promised us that she'd be there soon. We saw almost everyone from her tour, eventually our friend from the sidewalk came out. We called out to him to come over but he gave us the wait sign. When he came back out I yelled " Guy in the leather jacket, come over here, you promised". He looked into my eyes and sure enough he walked over. We shook hands and it turned out that he remembered us. We chatted a little and he shook our hands. It was great. After he left, Demi's dad came out. I was the only one that recognized him and I said, "DEMI'S DAD. HI DEMI's DAD!" - I was very filled with energy. Sure enough, he waved at me. A few minutes after Demi came out and we all screamed. She signed some autographs, touched my poster, but couldn't unroll it to sign it. It was a little disapointing but I was amazed I even got a chance to meet her. She was absolutely beautiful in person. Here's the video of us meeting her AND her cover of moves like jagger. It was unforgettable.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuAZAvrs22Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYy1PtgIToM&feature=channel_video_title

Song of the day: Don't Forget by Demi Lovato

Quote of the Day: "The Mirror can lie. Doesn't show you what's inside. And it, it can tell you you're full of life. It's amazing what you can hide just by putting on a smile" - Demi

"We love you Conrad, Oh yes we do, We love you Conrad and we'll be true.."

Dear blog,
I would tell you I missed you but I have WAY too much to fill you in on. I'll start with the biggest and best things that happened to me in the last couple months.

Bye Bye Birdie, the musical I was in turned out great!! It was really fun acting, and getting costumes from the 50's. We got to do our make-up really pretty and feel like stars. It doesn't get better then that. I had a small roll, but it was better then nothing. The last week was super stressful and we had to rehearse every night for like 4 hours. My mom and my brother came to see the show and loved it. I was really glad they did. They were dreading going and making a big fuss about ti so i'm glad they enjoyed it. My friends also came to see it, but they disapointed me.

Me and A. (I bet your mind jumped to pretty little liars) walked out of the room all excited because finally some friends came to see us. Other people's friends came to support them all three nights but we knew ours weren't that type anyways. So we go out there anxiously awaiting people to run up to us and praise us for our performance. Is it wrong to want to feel some love and appreciation like everyone else was getting? Our friends never came. We stood there completely alone while everyone was being greeted and getting flowers. Then we spotted them running off to go do something of their own. A project or something. We didn't run to them, because we or at least I wanted them to run to us. They didn't and it was beyond disapointing. They claimed to look for us but we saw them the whole time, and they weren't looking for us.

After the play we went to this cast party. I'm not much of a party person, and it took this party to realize it. We went off with two of my closest friends and drove to the grocery store together to pick up a snack to bring. We got these "winterlicious" chocolate cupcakes that looked delish. We went to the cash register and met this lady who knew everything about the Kardashians. As you all know, i'm obsessed with their show and can't believe what happened with Kim & Kris (that deserves its own post). Anyways we chatted and when I was ready to walk out the door I realized I didn't have a key. I totally freaked out and we searched the whole store for it. Guess where it was? In the car. We got in a drove to the party.

The entire thing was uneventful. There was music, and snacks. No one was dancing or anything, but people were chatting and girls were doing anything to get attention as usual. Me and my friend were trapped on this couch then decided to finally move, so we could mingle. My friend got through but I got stuck behind this girl making a big scene with her legs spread open like she was about to do something with the guy in front of her. I said excuse me", but she didn't move and I was kind of stuck there. Then my hero came. He goes " God (insert girls name here)! Get out of her way." Then he turned to me and said, "I'm sorry". Then he smiled. And I smiled. And I fell for him. It's just a crush, but I thought i'd shared with you. Okay, thats all. More blogs coming soon I promise. xxx

song of the day: Christmas Love by Justin Bieber (I am totally obsessed with the Under the Mistletoe album)

quote of the day: When I pray, coincidences happen, and when I don't, they don't.

Tribute to Steve Jobs, "Then a Hero comes along, with the strength to carry on"

Steve Jobs was the Einstein of our generation. We lost a truly talented person. The cool thing about Steve Jobs was he was more then just book smart, he was a dreamer. He knew what he wanted and he was willing to do everything he could to get it. A lot of people don't really know everything he was involved with. He created the first personal computer, this thing i'm typing on right now would not be around if it wasn't for Steve Jobs. He named the first real computer Lisa after his love child from a previous relationship.

He ran Apple during its peak. He was there for the creation of the Macbook Airs, iPads, iPhones, and iPods. These are all common terms to us all and you probably have one of these things lying around somewhere. Before Steve Jobs, music was stored in millions of CDS that took up a crazy amount of room. The funny thing about CDS is that you would only really like one or two songs from them anyways. He made an entire system perfect for the storing of songs. The first iPod could only hold 1000 songs, but you could have your music with you wherever you go. He created the entire system of itunes so that it can be an all in one thing. Then he made the iPhone and gave you pretty much everything you could ever need to survive in one. The iPhone was the first smart phone of his kind. At this point people couldn't imagine not having these things. He modernized the world, and had a very wise understanding of everything.

He was fired from his own company sometime in the 90s, so instead of moping around or wasting money like some people would Steve Jobs created Pixar which created the many cartoon movies that were a part of our childhood. Everything from Monsters Inc to Cars. Who brought these to our lives? Steve Jobs. The man was a genius.

In the end it was Pancreatic Cancer that killed him, but he fought hard for 8 years and was able to do his best work in that time. He was an unforgettable human being, and left the world a different better place then he found it.

Here are some great quotes of his:

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose"

"Your time on earth is limited, don't live by someone else's life, live by your own vision"

I really liked what Obama said: "And there may be no greater tribute to Steve's success than the fact that much of the world learned of his passing on a device he invented. "

RIP Steve Jobs

Cause you can bandage the damage, you never really can fix a heart"

Hi everyone,
Have you noticed we live in a world obsessed with romance. Every single television show is about love, every single song is about love, and every single book is about...I bet you can guess..LOVE. L-O-V-E, L is for the way you look at me, 0 is for the only one I see. I think you get the picture. It makes love seem like the most important thing in the world. And it is. What pops in your head when you think Love? For me the first thing is God, because i'm really into the phrase "God is Love". The second is family, and the third is the notebook. I think thats one of the best love stories ever written. The book is amazing and the movie is even better. It's awesome to see love that lasts more then a week but a lifetime. Thats what makes that movie so touching. They're together through thick and thin and always find their way back to each other. They're soulmates.

Is there really such a thing anymore? We live in a world where 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. 70% of African American women remain unwed throughout their entire lives. But all these statistics just make people long for it more. The feeling and idea that there is someone out there who completes them. Someone who makes them a better person. This Sunday Kim Kardashians "Fairytale Wedding" special appears on t.v. I am so excited! Her and Kris Humphries make the worlds cutest couple. She was one who always believed in love and always knew she would find someone to complete her despite the crazy lifestyle she has. And she found that person. We'll have to watch how it plays out, maybe she'll prove all the statistics wrong and prove that true love exsists. At least for pretty armenian girls. Better then nothing I guess.

My love life is currently non-existent. Part of me still wants that stupid prince but I know he doesn't want me. I shouldn't call him stupid. He's never done anything to me, but sometimes thats the problem. There's nothing that crushes your self-esteem more then knowing you weren't worth anything. Not worth a fight, or even three words. It'll always sit there in the back of my mind. The truth is you never really can fix a heart. The stuff that hurt you deep down will never go away, you can just put a band-aid on it and hope that it'll heal with time. But i'm trying to forget him and look in other directions. There are some cute guys at school i've had nice conversations with but a lot of them are already taken and with people that they think are their "soulmates". Who would want to get in the way of a bond that special? Oh well, if this soulmate stuff is real (and I really want to believe it is), I have nothing to worry about. God is just saving me for someone special. And the truth is, i'm just find alone. I focus on my school work and the stuff thats truly important for a girl my age. But sometimes I can get brainwashed into feeling lonely by society. Thats life I guess.

song of the day: Fix a Heart by Demi Lovato

quote of the day: "Protect her, Love her, Kiss her, Hug her, Hold her, Smile with her, Laugh with her. But don't make her fall if you don't plan to catch her. "

"If we all could get along, then we all could sing this song together"

Hi Everyone!
I've missed you. I'm also wondering how many of you noticed the new changes to the blog. It was time for it to get changed. Now it feels way more me. I'm kind of a bubbly person, it doesn't show at school or events with school people but everywhere else i'm really upbeat. I still haven't got over the fake me that appears at school. Its not fake buts its distant. Like I'm completely quit and try too hard to be polite. Today I was talking to this really cute guy with these two other girls and he was telling the STUPIDEST jokes. But I would laugh joke after joke, and pretend he was the funniest person i've ever seen. In my mind I was like, "what. an. idiot." I can't help but wonder if it's better to be mean and real or nice and fake? How would I rather be dealt with? Somewhere in between. I like when people are honest with me but I am not yet wonderwoman. I don't know if I would able to remain unbroken.

Speaking of Unbroken, DEMI LOVATO is coming to Kansas City. Caps to show my excitment! I love her new album, and I love her story and it would be an honor to hear her sing it live. You know I'm going to try to go to that concert. And speaking of concerts, I just got home from one. It was my friends eighteenth birthday so we went out to dinner and went to see the band St. Vincent perform. I can't say I was very impressed by them. The location reeked of bear, I was harassed for keeping my camera, and the music just wasn't my thing. It was very hippy and I couldn't connect with any of the lyrics. But I went for my friend, and I hope she had a good time. It was a nice time to reconnect with my friends and feel like part of a group again. I can be awfully lonely sometimes.

I recently joined a club though. It's called Core Club. It means Christians on the revolutionary edge or something. We're christian people active about our mission. I know Christian clubs are know for being cheesy and judgmental but this was a great punch of kids who felt Gods present in their lives. I felt connected and the club encouraged me to grow stronger in my faith and make that part of me more present in my every day life. I thought it was cool! I also recently read an article about the 9/11 terrorists. It was talking about how devoted they were to their evil plan. The entire point of the article was to ponder what life would be like if people were equally devoted to positiive things. Like saving our planet, or curing diseases. Our society has become a group of bandwagon activists. We hear stuff on CNN then all tweet about it for one day but do nothing to change it. And chances are the next week we won't even remember what we were so angry about. I want to be passionate about something that benefits others. I just need to find my cause. Any suggestions?

song of the day: Together by Demi Lovato

quote of the day: "When you stop fighting, you stop living. So...find your fight. then fight like hell 'til your battle has won" - Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill

"I don't know what I want so don't ask me cause i'm still trying to figure it out/Don't know what's down this road, i'm just walking"

Hi Everyone.
Let me start by saying that i'm the most moody person that ever lived. I was really happy today for many reasosn. The first reason is that I auditioned for the musicals Bye Bye Birdie and I made it! I've always liked musicals. The first one I fell in love with was The Sound of Music. I still love those songs. They mean everything to me. So when I heard about this I figured it was worth a try so me and my friend A. tried out. We both got it! It's a cool musical that reminds me a lot of bieber fever. I don't know how many of you are on top of your history, but its based off of Elvis Presly going off to war. He was like the Justin Bieber of our grandparents time and girls screamed and cried and were heartbroken that he was leaving. I enjoy plays with substance so that was good.

The second awesome thing was I got to hang out with my friends today. And when I say friends I mean friends. I got to hang out with people that I genuinly like and mean something to me. The ones I get alonh with, and can tell anything. You're all probably thinking "thats what a friend is supposed to be". I agree, but I gave a lot of people the title of my friend who I didn't feel close too. They're aquantinces. But the people I spent my day with were really friends. And it felt nice to know that I have that. That I am not alone (by alone I mean my family isn't the only thing I have).

So I have a cute little story to tell you. There is this guy in choir who decided to bring roses and chocolates for this girl every single day of the year until she likes him. He did it for five consecutive school days. Cute huh? Of course the girl doesn't like him because thats how life works but its still nice. I also watched an awesome romantic comady called Something Borrowed. I sugest everyone sees it, but for me thats when the saddness came in. It just made me feel alone, and made me wonder if my life will ever turn out to be as great as the scenes in the movie are. But then I watched Awkward. and something stuck. They were talking about how destincy happens by choice, not fate. You make the rules. If I want a life like the movies then I have to work for it and choose it for myself. The power of positive thinking.

Well that's a day in the life.

Song of the day: A place in this world by Taylor Swift

quote of the day: Actions are the seed of fate deeds grow into destiny. - Harry S. Truman

"I'm a lightweight..easy to fall easy to break/With every move my whole world shakes/Keep me from falling apart"

Well hello there long lost blog friends,
I've missed writing more then anything. My life continues to be a busy mess, and its only before I sleep that I even have time to think. I actually had a great weekend. One that was worth two blogs but i'll try to minimize it. On friday I was in a parade and got to hold a pretty diversity club banner. After, I went to the homecoming game with my friends. We went out to dinner before, which was a little awkward. Is it weird that I sometimes feel uncomfortable in front of my own people? I broke the cardinal rule and brought a new comer, my friend from Kenya. People didn't greet her as kindly as I had hoped but I can't control everything. I guess its ok. The best part of the game was getting a hello from an increadibly attractive guy, I didn't even know he knew my name. No one heard it though, and no one believed it. Am I that unlikable that its impossible someone would say hi to me? It happened. I'm not delusional. His smile made me smile. It was awesome.

Saturday was one of the most unforgettable days of my life. It started out a little boring but I was too excited to notice. I went and saw Taylor Allison Swift's Speak Now Tour with my friend A. We came together to make a really cute poster that said "TAYLOR, we would be enchanted to meet you". We dressed up as Taylor Swift with song lyrics on our arms and a thirteen on our hands. Taylor sold out Arrowhead Stadium. There were 50,000 people at the concert. You could feel the love in the air. For me it was almost a religious experience. I know every word to every song she sang. Even the surprise one from the deluxe edition she did acoustically. So I sang and danced the entire night. Her stage was phenomenal. It would transform to so many different scenes in such a short time. During back together the entire stadium was snowing with white pieces of confetti. During Haunted, she had Trapeeze artists falling from bells in the most fantastic of ways. She ballerina dancers during enchanted. And most importantly she sang her little heart out and had the voice of an angel. It was unforgettable.

There's normally this thing called the T-Party at Taylor's shows but she didn't have one for our town. Me and Akira were already looking forward to getting in. But the cocnert was so great I didn't even care. A friendly security guard gave us an inside tip on where Taylor was. So we got to watch her leave the stadium. We didn't actually see her. There was caution tape and two police officers. It was a top secret missions and before we could even notice she got into a black ford and left our town with a police escort. I'm counting down the days till her next tour. I can't wait to see her perform again! If she comes to your town find a way and go. Its spectacular.


song of the day: Lightweight by Demi Lovato (If you haven't listened to Unbroken yet, you just have too. I'm absoltuly in love with the songs on there. I know that just because its Demi Lovato you wont actually consider listening to it. But trust me her voice is stunning. The songs are good, and this particular one describes me)

Quote of the day: Faith is love taking the form of aspiration.

Story of the day: Today in Anatomy class a very cute guy asked me to be his partner. Our of all the girls in that class he picked me! I was shocked but loved working with him. He's sooo cute. But he has a girlfriend. This is turning into the story of my life.

quote of the day:

"But I don't say a lot of things, and you my love are gone"

Hello everyone,
So much to talk about today..well type about. I'm going to start by saying I had an incredible time at Fall Fun Fest with the people from my church. 90 youth from Jr. High and High school came up to my church and we did a lot of fun things. We had those blow up obsticle courses, sumo wrestling, human foozball, and a ton of other activities like that. Then we sang songs, and we worshiped God. We ate together and watched Tangled (most adorable movie ever! I loved it. The duet in it reminded me to A whole new World). Then we spent the night at the church and woke up and attend service. I was overwhelmed with a strong feeling deep inside me. Its like I just knew that God was there with all of us. I got to hang out with genuine, and kind hearted people that were my age. Everyone there really had everyones interest at heart and wanted everyone to feel like part of something special. I got to see my friends from camp and catch up on bieber stuff, which was extremly fun. None of my friends at home are beliebers so it was great to geek it out with other people. I had a great time and gained faith in the human population. Its not as bad as it seems. There are still good people out there.

So something you probably don't know about me is that there's a me no one knows. Well most people don't know me. I started thinking of it as "Mariam (the real me, pronounced Mar-ee-um)" and there's "Merriam, (what I always get called by people who don't really know me)". Mariam is fun,happy, loves to talk, has a serious case of bieber fever, and is just insane but in a good way. Merriam is shy, doesn't speak much, and is "shy". When I don't really know people or just feel uncomfortable around people I know I go into that mode. I don't think i'm fake, and I don't think I have multi-personality disorder it just happens to be that way and I don't know why. I want to be me everywhere and all the time. Its my goal. It may not happen in time for high school, but definetley in time for college.

One negative thing I noticed at camp was more insecurity issues from people. This is a serious problem in society. Everyone is scared to be different, or be who they truly are. This isn't a problem with guys but it is with girls. Everyone has something different they're upset about. Something they don't like about themselves, and instead of learning to accept it as part of them they change it. Not only with plastic surgery but with hiding it any way they can. I think it ruins your self esteem. People don't feel good about how they look but they feel good about the them they created to please others. I wish there was away for people to see just how awesome they really are. If we're going to change this is our society we need to stop judging others so harsly and learn to love their imperfections.

song of the day: The Chain by Ingrid Michaelson

quote of the day: Life is too short; enjoy your days, laugh at every chance, cry only if you must and never let others bring you down - The Notebook

" I don't want my love to go to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul"

Well hello there everyone,
It's been one pretty awesome weekend. Last week was super stressful, and I thought Caculus would be the death of me but I persevered and survived. I also found myself a little sad towards the end of the week, because I felt worthless to someone that meant the world to me. But it opened my eyes and I moved on (Can you believe that? I'm learning to learn and let go a lot more now!). Anyways, saturday I left for St. Louis with my mother, her friend (who I call my aunt), her three kids along with my brother. We rented a pretty awesome SUV and took off. It was a fun trip, listening to lots of music and just hanging out with my cousins. Those two little girls are so darling. I've always wanted a sister, but those two are the next best things. I've known them both since they were born and its fun watching them grow up and become real people.

I was a little dissapointed in their generation though. We were all getting beautified for the baby shower we went there for and my little cousin was wearing this adorable indian outfit. It was a sari, with the stomach showing, and a long skirt. You know what i'm talking about? It was really pretty with red embellishments. She was really excited and thought she looked great (which she did. She was the prettiest person in the room). Anyways, when she went down to hang with the other kids who were all boys they started saying "Your stomach is showing" followed by "you need to diet". It broke her heart. You could just see the joy leaving her eyes and the anger forming in mine. She's not fat at all. She barely has a stomach, but no she's not skin and bones like the girls they see on T.V. She was trying to cover up with her scarf the entire night and kept saying "I'm so ugly" every time we would go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. I told her over and over again that she was beautiful, but it didn't mean anything because the boys she crushes on that really matter don't feel the same way.

What has happened to the world? When did anorexic become beautiful? And why is it? I honestly don't understand. Everyone is so superficial, and searching for perfection. MY experience has shown a pretty face does not mean a pretty heart. Thats what should matter? You're heart. And how you treat others. And who you are. But those things have dissapeared. I watch boys tweet things like "there's nothing worse then a fat girl" and ignore some sweet people because their not as great on the outside. If only we could see with our hearts. If only my little cousin didn't have to go through that. I know there are still people that think that way, but I wish there were more of them and less of everyone else.

song of the day: Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney (why can't everyone think like him)

quote of the day: Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind - Dr. Seuss

'My hearts a stereo, it beats for you so listen close. Hear my thoughts in every note. Oh Oh"

Hey peoples,
To fill you in a little on my life daily...i've been going to school and doing homework. How fun huh? I miss summer but it's nice to be learning again and keeping busy. I have some really good teachers this week. My sentence was chosen as "Sentence of the week" in writing class. She made a huge deal about it. It was just a little humiliating. We were supposed to write a sentence using the words soul and crawled so I wrote, "His soul crawled into the light, where it belonged all along". Nothing special but it was nice of her to choose it. I don't like attention that much though so that was weird. I'm trying to get over the attention thing though. Be fearless. I'll get there... one day. I also had to sing in front of my choir class today. I kind of sucked. I get really nervous in front of people from my school because they're so judgemental. When I auditioned for that talent competition I was able to sing really loud and everything. Because I was confident in my abilities. But the people at school don't make any accomplishment seem impressive or decent. It's never good enough. Sorry for the rant. In other news....

Kim Kardashain married Kris Humphries in what is supposed to be the wedding of this generation. She had three outfit changes, and the guests were required to wear either black or white. She had the bridesmaids in white, because she's Kim Kardashian. She has absolutley nothing to be insecure about. She knew she would outshine them. Her Step-Dad Bruce walked her down the aisle but she had a little passage about her real father Robert Kardashian (Lawyer in the OJ simpson trial) in the wedding booklet. Those Kardashians have the most fun family, and they're all flawless in every way. Thats what you call blessed.

I have a new pet peeve. I absolutley hate people who judge others based on what they like. I think it's because I always like some of the things that aren't as widely accepted. I just think you can't judge a person based on what books they read and what music they listen too you know. It doesn't necessarily make them who they are. It's the same as judging a person by their apperence. It says nothing about their values, and traits they have. All humans are made differently and more into certain things then others. We took a personality test in class today. I got the "nice person" one. I always end up in the shy quiet girl section. Which I guess is what I am. It was the 2nd most common one. But it warned me against letting others take advantage of me, and caring too much about what other people think. I'm going to try to keep both those things in mind throughout the week.


Song of the Day: Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Hero's and Adam Levine

quote of the day: " The day you start thinking that love is overrated is the day that you're wrong. The only things wrong with love and faith and belief is not having it" - Haley James Scott on One Tree Hill