"But I don't say a lot of things, and you my love are gone"

Hello everyone,
So much to talk about today..well type about. I'm going to start by saying I had an incredible time at Fall Fun Fest with the people from my church. 90 youth from Jr. High and High school came up to my church and we did a lot of fun things. We had those blow up obsticle courses, sumo wrestling, human foozball, and a ton of other activities like that. Then we sang songs, and we worshiped God. We ate together and watched Tangled (most adorable movie ever! I loved it. The duet in it reminded me to A whole new World). Then we spent the night at the church and woke up and attend service. I was overwhelmed with a strong feeling deep inside me. Its like I just knew that God was there with all of us. I got to hang out with genuine, and kind hearted people that were my age. Everyone there really had everyones interest at heart and wanted everyone to feel like part of something special. I got to see my friends from camp and catch up on bieber stuff, which was extremly fun. None of my friends at home are beliebers so it was great to geek it out with other people. I had a great time and gained faith in the human population. Its not as bad as it seems. There are still good people out there.

So something you probably don't know about me is that there's a me no one knows. Well most people don't know me. I started thinking of it as "Mariam (the real me, pronounced Mar-ee-um)" and there's "Merriam, (what I always get called by people who don't really know me)". Mariam is fun,happy, loves to talk, has a serious case of bieber fever, and is just insane but in a good way. Merriam is shy, doesn't speak much, and is "shy". When I don't really know people or just feel uncomfortable around people I know I go into that mode. I don't think i'm fake, and I don't think I have multi-personality disorder it just happens to be that way and I don't know why. I want to be me everywhere and all the time. Its my goal. It may not happen in time for high school, but definetley in time for college.

One negative thing I noticed at camp was more insecurity issues from people. This is a serious problem in society. Everyone is scared to be different, or be who they truly are. This isn't a problem with guys but it is with girls. Everyone has something different they're upset about. Something they don't like about themselves, and instead of learning to accept it as part of them they change it. Not only with plastic surgery but with hiding it any way they can. I think it ruins your self esteem. People don't feel good about how they look but they feel good about the them they created to please others. I wish there was away for people to see just how awesome they really are. If we're going to change this is our society we need to stop judging others so harsly and learn to love their imperfections.

song of the day: The Chain by Ingrid Michaelson

quote of the day: Life is too short; enjoy your days, laugh at every chance, cry only if you must and never let others bring you down - The Notebook