" I don't want my love to go to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul"

Well hello there everyone,
It's been one pretty awesome weekend. Last week was super stressful, and I thought Caculus would be the death of me but I persevered and survived. I also found myself a little sad towards the end of the week, because I felt worthless to someone that meant the world to me. But it opened my eyes and I moved on (Can you believe that? I'm learning to learn and let go a lot more now!). Anyways, saturday I left for St. Louis with my mother, her friend (who I call my aunt), her three kids along with my brother. We rented a pretty awesome SUV and took off. It was a fun trip, listening to lots of music and just hanging out with my cousins. Those two little girls are so darling. I've always wanted a sister, but those two are the next best things. I've known them both since they were born and its fun watching them grow up and become real people.

I was a little dissapointed in their generation though. We were all getting beautified for the baby shower we went there for and my little cousin was wearing this adorable indian outfit. It was a sari, with the stomach showing, and a long skirt. You know what i'm talking about? It was really pretty with red embellishments. She was really excited and thought she looked great (which she did. She was the prettiest person in the room). Anyways, when she went down to hang with the other kids who were all boys they started saying "Your stomach is showing" followed by "you need to diet". It broke her heart. You could just see the joy leaving her eyes and the anger forming in mine. She's not fat at all. She barely has a stomach, but no she's not skin and bones like the girls they see on T.V. She was trying to cover up with her scarf the entire night and kept saying "I'm so ugly" every time we would go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. I told her over and over again that she was beautiful, but it didn't mean anything because the boys she crushes on that really matter don't feel the same way.

What has happened to the world? When did anorexic become beautiful? And why is it? I honestly don't understand. Everyone is so superficial, and searching for perfection. MY experience has shown a pretty face does not mean a pretty heart. Thats what should matter? You're heart. And how you treat others. And who you are. But those things have dissapeared. I watch boys tweet things like "there's nothing worse then a fat girl" and ignore some sweet people because their not as great on the outside. If only we could see with our hearts. If only my little cousin didn't have to go through that. I know there are still people that think that way, but I wish there were more of them and less of everyone else.

song of the day: Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney (why can't everyone think like him)

quote of the day: Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind - Dr. Seuss