"I Don't Wanna Take This Life For Granted Like I Used To Do. I Wanna Love Somebody; Love Somebody Like You"

Dear Kitty (If you caught the Anne Frank reference, you're the real MVP),

I fell in love again, and I didn't tell you. This time it was kept a secret, because I was pretty focused on school. When I wasn't in school, I was constantly communication with this man (lets call him Moose). I met him a year ago in Cali. We got to spend some one on one time together, because we were both under 21 and couldn't go to the bar with everyone else. We had a nice conversation, but I didn't really see it becoming anything more than it was. I assumed that all three men were going to fall for one of my best friends. She's drop dead gorgeous and a black guy magnet, so it was just a matter of time. I can't think of this encounter without that "black men love group sex" joke. Most memorable part of the whole experience. Fast forward about six months later and the moose is in my DMS. It was pretty casual, but he sent kissy faces. That caught my attention. I realized he saw me as more than a long lost encounter and was trying to see where it went. We eventually moved out of DMs and on to text messages after a message from him stating "A n---- don't have unlimited data" or something similar to that. So then we were texting. The conversation came to an end when I went to bed and he went to a party. That was that.

Fast forward another 6+ months. My father helped true love persevere. A friend of my fathers brought a friend of his to ask him a question when he was visiting Seattle. The guy told a story of how he was a single father in love with a women. This women's parents did not want him to marry her, but he had nothing but good intentions. He didn't want to know life without her and was willing to remain with her unmarried if that was the only option. Nothing was going to keep them apart (I am probably making this way more romantic than this actually was). The father of this beautiful girl was a guy that my dad grew up with. So he offered to go talk to him to see if he could help in some way or another. The conversation with the young maiden's father went well, and he agreed to let his daughter marry the lover boy. She invited our whole family to the wedding and said she wanted my dad right next to her father when she gets married. The young maiden happened to be the moose's cousin. So I knew that I would see the moose once again.

Fast forward to the wedding weekend. I got to wear three beautiful dresses and the celebration was unforgettable. Beautiful decor. I loved the table set up each of the days. The bride and group walking in to You're Still the One by Shania Twain, and I loved that too. It was great! Towards the end of he wedding, the DJ started playing American Music. Work, Controlla, and One Dance back to back. Despite the fact my unbelievable tall heels were killing me, I had to dance because Drake is bae. I love him. This was a week after I had experienced the magic that is the Summer Sixteen Tour, so I was hype. Mariam and I danced. He was dancing with his cousin and strategically made his way over to me. Next thing you know him and I were dancing. Next thing you know, I was semi-twerking on him. God only knows how long it lasted, because I was really nervous about my family. Eventually I turned around and acted like a respectable African Girl again. But it happened. So I'm desperately awaiting the video to see it. I saw him the next day at the lunch. He claims that he didn't see me. We didn't talk and I shot him a text that said "It was really good seeing you again" and he said "It was good seeing you too Mariam". This is probably where it should have ended, but of course it didn't.

I thought of him as I was happily touring Seattle. We went to the aquarium, beach from, Seattle Eye, China Town, Lake Washington, Underground Tour and so many other cool tourist places. Mariam and I spent most of our days out and about. I also enjoyed delicious African food cooked by my aunty Samia. Yum yum. We flew home on a thursday and our uncle happened to be on the same flight with his son. We all rode home together, and on the car ride back I text my moose. I don't remember exactly what I said, but it sparked a conversation. A conversation that went on for two straight months with the exception of 1-2 days total. We talked about everything. Our culture, our families, our majors, our academic experiences, our romantic experiences. When we talked about Drake and he could say the lyrics back to me so easily my heart was happy. When he sent me a beautiful playlist that Ed Sheeran made an appearance on, my heart was even happier. When he told me that when I See him, he could sing the entire 1989 album to me, I was ready to Thank God for helping me find my soulmate. Music is a big part of my life and an even bigger part of his life, so it was nice having someone to share these conversations with. He despised my country music, but who doesn't?

Though most of what he shared with me was good, there was a decent amount of bad too. Drug use and lots of women. But it didn't matter, because I felt that he was worth going through it for. I know it sounds stupid, but I was lost in a fairytale. The fact that it would be four years before we could even possibly live in the same city, and stood no chance of getting a physical connection didn't stop me. I still have this fairytale idea that love conquers all. I knew that if it was meant to be, it would be. It's been a long time since I have connected with a guy the way I connected with Moose. I may have never had that kind of connection to be honest. That all day every day on my mind. You're the first person I want to tell everything to kind of like. In the club snapping and texting you, because no one else could get my attention even if I tried. Only dressing up to snap you kind of like. I was in deep. It was real. I dove in head first and enjoyed everything we had while we had it. I wish I could tell you that this story ended in my happily ever after (finally), but it didn't. Stay tuned for the sad finale.

Song of the day: Somebody Like You by Keith Urban

Quote: "Stop being afraid to feel. The best feelings in life come organically. Something you aren't in control of. Trying to be numb is a waste of time"