"Living Might Mean Taking Chances, But They're Worth Taking. Loving Might Be A Mistake, But It's Worth Making"

Good Morning World,

Today is Thursday, and there are exactly four more days of summer left. This summer has been a time of many realizations for me, and I'm happy to say that I'm in a relatively good place now. While bored at work, I went to buzzfeed. As always, they didn't fail to entertain me. They had list of the most meaningful quotes from modern day literature. So many of them stuck up out to me. I decided to save and discuss a few.

 “When you’re unhappy, you get to pay a lot of attention to yourself. And you get to take yourself oh so very seriously. Your truly happy people, which is to say, your people who truly like themselves, they don’t think about themselves very much. Your unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwellin’ on himself and start payin’ attention to the universe. Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence". 

This summer I spent a lot of time thinking about me. Things I have accomplished. Mistakes I have made. All the things I want for my life. At one point this summer, every time I thought about these things I would feel myself start to tear up. Would I actually cry? Sometimes. The most memorable day was when I was driving home from the gym. I was listening to I Hope You Dance for the beats and I realized that the wishes she was discussing were wishes I had for myself that I felt I wasn't reaching. It was Kim Kardashian ugly tears. That's when I realized just how hurt I was by the summers events. I don't cry. I don't get sad, so even a little bit of sadness is a huge deal to me. 

The lyric in I Hope You Dance that was really bringing all the feels was "Never settle for the path of least resistance. Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking. Loving might be a mistake, but its worth making. Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter". A majority of the advice I desperately needed was encompassed in this lyric. I have been settling for the path of least resistance. It's in my nature to just apologize when need be and deal with peoples craziness. I didn't realize how much it was negatively affecting me until I got to experience a couple days without giving those people that power in my life. I had a few people that drained me with their comments or negative energy. Although I'm still not mean enough to cut them off completely, I have learned to limit my time in their presence. The friendship can work under those circumstances. I also showed my Dad a body shaming video. It didn't work, but at least I tried. 

Taking chances. Each and every year I feel like I am more and more unapologetic. Capable of speaking my mind. I feel like I've reached a new peak this summer, and I'm proud of it. This is only the beginning. I hope I can continue to be this open with people and putting myself out there. Vulnerability has turned into another mini goal for the year. The second line really hit home too. Sometimes loving is mistake. Vulnerability gives another the power to hurt you. Sometimes you give the wrong person that power and they break you. But that doesn't mean you should be bitter. Bitter is where I found myself the first week of July. I was angry about my "wasted time". But it wasn't really wasted time was it? I learned, grew, and hurt. Hurting wasn't fun, but it needed to happen to take me to where I need to be. I slowly started barring bitterness from my heart and I'm in a much better place now. I met a new guy. A much better man. And I am so excited about him. It's a good feeling. 

Now back to the quote that started this whole post. That's quote was what I needed to get over the final hump and move towards joy. After I had worked through all my issues, I was still focused on me. How does this make me feel? Let me recall the different things I learned last week? What can I do to move myself further? It was I, Me, Her all the time. It was time finally time for me to stop dwelling on myself and start dwelling on the universe. My surroundings. School. The people I love. The things I love. And most importantly those that need me. I'm back to listening to others vent and reporting the freak maintenance incidents at KU that everyone else just walks by. La Vita e Bella ~ Life is Beautiful  

Song of the Day: I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack

Quote of the day:
 “When you’re unhappy, you get to pay a lot of attention to yourself. And you get to take yourself oh so very seriously. Your truly happy people, which is to say, your people who truly like themselves, they don’t think about themselves very much. Your unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwellin’ on himself and start payin’ attention to the universe. Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence".