"I don't want another pretty face/I don't want just anyone to hold/I don't want my love to go to waste/I want you and your beautiful soul"

Hey,
Beautiful soul by Jesse McCartney is a really good song. Just saying, and yes this proves that i've been falling for blond teen stars even before Justin Bieber. I go all the way back to the Aaron Carter days :) Anyways I've been thinking about this song a lot today and wanted to post it. It seems like everyones looking for a pretty victoria secrets fashion show type now. And no ones actually looking for someone they can connect with. Its sad what the worlds come too. Winter formals coming up and its mating season (for humans) and what it means is everyone is with someone else. People are all lovey dovey all the time and it can make a girl feel pretty lonley.

So last blog, I talked about my fear. And it really came to play yesturday but I have a story to lead up to this story first. Yesturday America lost a very great, democratic women. Elizabeth Edwards. She was 61 years old. Most people know her as the wife of John Edwards. She died from best cancer. She struggled with cancer on and off for the last 6 years. It was really sad, almost made me cry. She left behind 3 kids. One child in her twenties and two little kids. One thats twelve and one thats ten. Thats the saddest part for me. That three kids were left motherless. Yes, John Edwards is the politician that had an affair with Rielle Hunter (a younger woman) and fatherd a child with her. If you ask my mom she'll tell you that thats what killed poor Elizabeth Edwards. She was such a fighter and such a surviver. But he broke her down. The poor lady was heart broken , and the heart is what keeps us alive. Who knows if its true or not but I was thinking a lot of Elizabeth Edwards.

I coulden't even fall asleep because I was thinking about time and how theres not much left. Elizabeth Edwards was fine two days ago living life and now shes gone. It made me think of the one think I wanted to do. Something I needed to know. So I took this risk and didn't consult anyone I just did it. For some reason I think the person it involves is reading this. I wanted an answer, I saw it, and you confuzed me by taking it away. Thats really all I have to say on the subject but it felt good that the fear was gone. And it felt good to get some sort of answer. I know I just sound confuzing but i'm a little lost on the whole thing myself. Sorry this was so random but just know that last night for only a minute I pushed the fear of the unknown away.

song of the day: Beautiful Soul by Jessie McCartney

quote of the day: "The day you actually start to care could be the day I have someone who you couldnt dare to be, someone there for me. The chance you could have to ever be with me. " from board of wisdom, matched with how I was feeling