Good morning! Last night I had a lot of dreams and im going to share them with you. The first one was a nightmare. I was at school and things were going ok then there was a school shooting. And no one really knew what was going on but I got taken into a room by my gi joe english teacher. And she nailed this tire thing to my back and it somehow worked like handcuffs and I was supposed to go out into the bus with the other prisoners of war. But I was smart and jumped in a car with my friend meredith and her family. The plan was for them to drop me off at home and make my parents send me to my family in seattle as far away from this whole mess as possible. I dont know what went wrong but I some how ended up back in the school and the last scene I saw from this was my friend with a big army gun being in charge of the whole thing! weird huh? It was terrifying.

Then after I had recovered from that I tried to get back to sleep and the dream continued. Everything was done and I heard my parents downstairs trying to get my attention and my mom was trying to defend me where as my dad was saying we cant let her stay like this. And as I was walking down the stairs I couldent talk or communicate. And I guess I was refusing to eat or do anything because that nail and me back made me messed up. It was not good. It was scary.

Then I went back to sleep again. And this dream touched me the most. I was in tears throughtout most of it. I was on a field trip with my jr. high friends and basically everyone from my elementry school. Olive was walking in front of me really fast and then keenen (the sweetest boy who was in 6th grade with me and died from cancer) was trying to catch up with her. But she was so busy running after all this other stuff she couldent hear him. And the world was just so loud I couldent hear what keenen was trying to say. And he kept trying to keep up with the people he left behind but he couldent. and I felt soo bad. And I yelled QUIEEEEEET! really loud trying to get the world to be quiet so I could hear him and keep him there. And so I went into this room and there was two pages on a computer. the words were all upside down and keenen in his big poofy black jacket was watching me try to read it. I read aloud in silence "just because you cant see the sky in the dark, dosent mean its not there". and he looked over me with these longing eyes. and on the other side upside down I made out the words happy birthday olivia. and he didnt say a word but I just felt like he wanted me to tell her and he was trying to say that hes still here. It was the most message like dream i have ever had. I will tell olivia about it and give her her birthday greeting and this blog goes out to keenen. R.I.P buddy, everyone may move on but you will not be forgotten.

song of the day:
I'll be missing you p.diddy

quote of the day:
Just because you cant see the sky at night dosent mean its not there.

Birthday news

Yesturday at 9:30 p.m. I turned 15 years old. I have been alive for 15 year. 2 and a half decades. It dosent feel that long but I took some time to really think about what that means and what I want to come out of this year. I want to be happy, I want to do better in school, I want to be more in touch with my friends, I want to be closer to my family, and I want to find the right guy. I dont really know who it is but I do know that NONE of the ones I thought were right commented on my wall or told me happy birthday on facebook. Thats one thing that bothers me. How can strangers be kind enough to tell you happy birthday, and people you know and thought you might like not even say anything. Prince didnt tell me happy birthday. hes been dethroned. not forever but he is definatly on probation. some other guys did comment on my wall though. Half of them were complete strangers who just cared. maybe im around all the wrong guys...

On the posative note. I had a great time last night at dinner with my friends. We went to Rudy's pizza and have some cheese, beef, and peporoni pizza. It was delicious. The absolute perfect pizzas. I ordered the worlds most amazing cake. It has my favorite baby picture of me. If you know me at all you've probably seen it. I have braids and barrets in my hair. Im sitting on a ledge looking down and behind me is the sanfransisco bridge, with water, and the bluest sky i've ever seen. I cant remember that moment but I'd like to think I was perfectly happy at that moment in my life. No problems at all. Anyways I put in candles and lit them and my friends + about 30 strangers sang happy birthday to me. I blew out candles and made a wish. the cake was as good as it looked.

I also got some presents. My mom,dad, and brother gave me a bath and body works lotion kit, the brand new alicia keys cd, a michael jackson dangerous short film dvd, and the JLO perfume. My godmother sent me a 25 dollor gift card to itunes. Elaine Frank gave me the cutest wallet and a gold purse. Sarah and Taz all got me borders gift cards. Taz gave me Gossip girl the prequal as well. Olivia M. also got me a book. Take a chance: A gossip girl the carlyles novel. Milly got me an american eagle gift card. Akira got me earrings made by her mama`. Lisa got me braclets, a lotion/chapstic kit, and the cutest headband. And I also got some more things from other people I cant think of but im really thankful for them all. It was a great birthday and I really enjoyed it. Too bad its over.

The fun continues on tommorow though. Im going to Olive's big birthday party and a christmas party at evelyns on monday. It should be a great time. I also hope to go shopping at KC mall with my mom. Samira are you going to come over? we must plan.

p.s. i just remembered another present. my dads friend gave me 20 bucks :)

Ok so dont think i've forgotten about my dear blog. I now speand all my time studying for finals, and trying to learn everyhting I didnt learn all semester in 2 days. Its awful (i think this is my new favorite word). Tommorows my birthday and i'm pretty excited about it. Im going to go out to dinner with some friends and my mom ordered a cake for me. Claps for a pretty cake. I have to get back to studying but on friday around noon ill update you on all the crazines that my life has been. bye for now!

One of the best weekends of my life; am i loving life ? YES!

I had a super fantastic amazing great weekend!!! It was just too fun and everything went perfectly!!! On friday after school I tried to take my drivers test again and it didnt go well. Its really embarassing and I took it as a sign the weekend would be awful. Good thing I was wrong!! Ok so after the test I rushed home and used my awesome card maker program to make a sixteenth birthday card for sarah chavez!! Shes a great friend. Really quiet but always nice. We all met at papacinos for some local pizza. Its really cool they make gigantic slices the size of your face. (Samira we have to go there next time your in town). Then we had some downtime so we went to urban outifitters and looked at their amazingly cute clothes. then at 7:30 the limo came!! It was so exciting. It was my second time in a limo. The driver would take us anywhere we want and the driver opened and closed the doors for us. There were leather seats and juice in a fancy wine like bottle. Elegent looking cups and the lights inside would change colors. There were two televisions inside. We took lots of people and went to taco bell for a bathroom break :). We drove by our school and took pictures and just enjoyed the ride the rest of the way. Afterwards we went to her house to open presents and have cake. It was a really great party.

On saturday morning I woke up with a smile on my face from the night before. I had my breakfast and I began beutifying. I took the crappy nail polish off my nails and replaced it with the pretty pink metalic one I had bought from walmart. I also gave myself a facial using my mothers mary kay products. Afterwards I had some downtime so I was just doing random things to keep myself busy. I showered at at 1 I had a hair appointment with my name on it. I got my hair curled and It looked great if I saw so myself. I didnt finish till around 4 though so when I got back olivia and akira were already at my house. So then I straightened olivia's hair and then we all did out makeup and such. Taz also came. Then we got dressed and took some pictures around the house, to comemorate the fabulous day.

After we were already we met at paisanos at 6:30. We had to wait in line for about 30 mintues. It was awful. That was with reservations by the way. We had a terrible waiter who was making rude comments, and was un clean with out food. (apperently someone say him sneeze on the alfrado, thank god I didnt get that). And then Elaine called her father to complain about how awful the waiter was and her father came in with an angrey look on his face and managed to get us ALL our tip money back. But by then we were already 40 minutes late to formal. It was definaly worth the wait. When we got there it looked like the party was starting off and people were starting to dance and our whole group got out there and had the time of our lives. We danced during ALL the songs. I only sat down during the slow songs becaue I sadley didnt have a date. But I didnt even really mind that. I danced like i've never danced before and had a good time with some of the best friends I could ever ask for! I'll never forget formal :)

Song of the day:
Emprie state of mind - Jay Z and Alicia keys (<3)

Quote of the day:"You try to pretend like you're paying attention to your family, but in the meantime, you're like "Grandma, can you pass the gravy? I'M OPEN!" - Ray romano speaking about thanksgiving

Ok so ive officially accidently deleted this twice now, so its time for try number 3. Will it be a sucsess, Si mamacitas . si! So everyone who is eveyrone is talking about one this. Is it the economic failure? no. Is it the fact that 30,000 more troops are being sent to iraq? no. is it that these are some of the last days of oprah? no. Its tiger woods. He ran into a tree AND the world has found out that he is a cheater. Not one mistress, not two, but three! Why are we talking about this so much? I understand its terrible that hes cheating on his model wife and basically cheating on his 2 baby boys too. But hes not the first person to do it. You want to know why their talking about it so much? Its because theres no new news coming out. The celebritys have all escapped and left this rough winter to us and gone to their private islands. do you want to know how I know? Well walk down the magazine isle at walmart. What do you see? Lots of covers that look like this: Oprahs dieing in 10 days, Celulite, anorexia, and something is going on with brad and angelina (marrige, divorce, baby, adopting, fight, true love). Whenever theres nothing to talk about people start talking about the above. Its kind of weird, but they always do. But soon it will all be over because kendra and kourtney will be having their babys and everyone loves baby news. Did you know celebity children baby pics sell for millions? its crazy.

I went and did something I've never done before. I went make up shopping. I now added to my small collection of make up items all being pinkish purplish colors because thats what my dress color is. I am getting so excited about formal! I guess its just finally something to look forward too. Its been a sort of dry couple of months and nothings going on this winter. But be bored no more. Now we have.......two concerts next week, my birthday, christmas, and winter formal! It couldent get any better! I have my masterwork rehersals tonight and it should be pretty serious. All 500 of us will practice together for the first time. In italian. And we have to figure out where we all stand but ms. morton says she has it under control. I trust in her! Finals are also coming up and im a little on the worried side. I dont want to reck my good grades which could happen. ahh pray for me. Im keeping it short and sweet today. :)

song of the day: Walking on sunshine - aly and aj

quote of the day:
With our love, we could save the world - george harrison (who was meantioned on jason mraz's twitter post today!)

You know what makes a country not suceed? Its one simple thing. Are you thinking money, or bad leaders because thats not it. Its not having love for your own people. Thats why Tanzania is one of the poorest nations in the world. The leaders have no compassion for their own people. I heard some terrible storys today and I'm gonna tell you some. There were 3 men and they were arrested for a crime. 2 of them were greek and italian and one of them was tanzanian. None of them were involved with the crime and the greek goverment interfered and saved their people. The tanzanian goverment didnt give a crap about their person. He got hung in jail and the night before he wrote a letter that he gave to a man from gahna to take to tanzania and make sure to get it published in the paper. He got hung and the goverment saw the paper but didnt care. So what someone died. It meant nothing to them. Its absolutley terrible.

I partly want to study politics and then go back to zanzibar and shake things up, just like benezair bhutto did with pakastan. The only issue is i'm an american citizen and cant run for office but if I was I would totally go back and run for office and make sure it was dont fairly. I would get the U.S. to back me up and make the voting go through them. And they would do it becaue the U.S. can basically go to any country and do whatever they want. Is that right? I mean they are the worlds biggest power. And they do donate a lot of money to help people but is it fair that they get privllages that other countrys could only dream of. If an american citizen gets arrested for a crime in thailand they only have to stay in jail for 5 years and then they come to the u.s. "to pay the rest of their time" but a majority of the people end up being let free for "miss treatment". Thats pretty unfair because someone from any other country would have to stay in thailand and deal with the terrible punishments. Its just really sad.

I had a sleepover last night and it was really fun. At first I didnt think it would work because normally its just me and akira or just me and taz at my house but never me, taz, and akira at once. But it was fun we just hung out and had deep conversations that are hard to have at school or other places. It was nice to reconnect because they were my first new friends when I went to central and we dont really get to hang out together that often. I dont like big groups of people as much as small groups of people because its hard to talk about stuff when its a big group and its hard to get on a deeper level of friendship with big groups because most of the time the big group is split into little groups of best friends. Friendship is a good thing to have. I love all my friends! Your all the best things I could ever ask for.

Song of the day: True friend - Miley cyrus

Quote of the day:Better to be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own.

So I know your sitting there wondering whats new in the sad and pathetic life of Mariam Ali. Well, ill tell you. Today I stayed after school for diversity club and the song that the teacher picked for us to sing is Lean on Me by Al Green. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the song and I hate al green. Weird huh? He performed at the grammys one year and I just didnt like it. It wasent too good , and since that day i havent liked that guy. The gramy nominations were made but more about that later. After the club meeting I went and sat in the commons and this group of guys was staring me down and I did the only thing I could do, pulled out my phone and algebra book! Then one of these guys came up to me and said."hey mariam".

He has math with me but he's like never talked to me. And he asked how things were going and I said pretty good and then the conversation just kinda died. And he yelled at his friend who was hiding behind a pole but he looked really dumb because hes a big boy and Im thinking he might have a thing for me and his friend was acting like we knew each other. It was weird. Nothing against the guy but I dont think we're very compatible. Hes friends with sebastian, but from what hes told me about him he steals stuff and hes funny. But I think its the peverted kind of funny. Anyways that kind of boosted my confidence. I still got it! Just with all the wrong guys....Did I tell you Jacob is dating this asain girl? Yeah hes dating this asain girl. Right when things were going ok for us with the eye contact smiling thing we've been doing. But now hes with the asain all the time. And I get disgusted and he sticks his tounge down her throat. I just want to yell go back to china! But then I realize that she could just yell back go back to africa! And then i'd be stumped and it would ruin the illusion or picture jacob could have of me. Or maybe im nothing to him. But then hes not that important to me as we discussed earlier.He dosent seem like the forever kind of guy......but at least hes not...

Ok so i have a friend named Marina and shes a nice girl but shes not the brightest crayon in the box. And she has a crush on this stoner. Like for real hes into drubs. And hes dumb. And he looks off into nothing sometimes and isent even fully there. But ill tell you one thing hes got going, his looks. Not amazing but somewhere in between. And shes ignoring the fact that hes a total loser because hes "cute". And she calls him "her stoner". She dosent EVER use his name? Isent that dumb? How the hell is she going to have a relationship with a guy who she dosent mention by name and dosent care about anything but illegal activity. I dont understand. How could someone love someone like that? Taz 222 gave me the answer. So she thinks that guys look diffrent to diffrent people. Like maybe I'll see lets say chris brown and see the most attractive, sweet, guy in the world and Samira will look at chris brown and think ewww i hate him. Its not that his face or features are diffrent. Its some weird science thing that makes you attracted to a person. I totally believe it! I think its true, because there are some guys ive been attracted too that truley suprise everyone. Its WEIRD!

Song of the day:
Watcha say - someone I cant think of.

Quote of the day (I think its halarious, i just broke out laughing) its from naughts and cross: "No. he just made you pregnant instead dad said bitterly. " Callum didnt rape me, he really didnt! -Sephy. "But your pregnant, he must have "mother said. "I'm pregnent because we made love to each other, And it was te ost magical wonderful night of my life. My only regret is that we cant do it again- . -sephy. Dad slaped me SO hard he kocked me off my feet.

I dont know why but when It gets to the dad part I just crack up