How Does It Feel? To know that I love you baby, I'm lost without you.

HEART

I ended my last post about love with "maybe the stable, positive person I need in my life right now could be found in one of them. Once again, we'll just have to see". We'll pick up right where we left off. Dakota did not work out. Contrary to popular belief, he was the one who just wanted to have sex with me. One day he canceled our ice skating date and said that we would do lunch the next day. Before lunch time he told me that I should come over and watch Netflix instead. We all know what that means. I said no, because it was a new year and I was only going to accept the love I think I deserve (the best, purest form of love). He never talked to me again, and I didn't really care. Our conversations never really grew. We were stuck in the same place, and I hated his teeth. I was trying to act like it was okay, but I dodged a bullet. Don't miss him now and never did. 

Now that we're done with old business, we can talk about new business. I call it CJIII. He's bae. I gotta recap, because this is all stuff that must be remembered. Him and I have something special. After our Ride Along 2 date, we kept communicating. It's been fun getting to know each other. The man that currently has my heart had a wonderful smile and gets nervous when he's around me. His leg shakes and it's the cutest thing I've ever seen. Our second date was in Topeka. We met on the mall and he was late...again. I feel like this is a common theme in our relationship. He is always late. When he walked in, he was in baby blue. It looked really nice on him. The mall officer asked him to remove his hood, and I didn't like it. I thought it was kind of racist. We walked and talked and he said he wanted to take me to this store he likes. It ended up being a pet store. You all know how I feel about animals. But he's softened my heart to them. We played with a Doberman puppy. It was kind of cute, and I liked it until it started chewing on me purse. Then we had to end it. We also went to Buffalo Wild Wings, because all of the other restaurants were full and had two hour waits. Dinner conversation was good and we enjoyed our time together. Date number three was last weekend, and I already miss him. That day was chill and we sat in the car and talked for the longest time. He kissed me goodnight and it was perfect. I pray we continue to move in the right direction. He's something special. 

J tried to come back into my life, but he's rude and disrespectful. I'm too good for it. I ended it, because I have a really good thing with CJIII. I don't want anything to ruin it. Overall my heart is happier than its been in a long time. 

There is something that broke my heart recently. My father got his dream job with local law enforcement. After applying multiple times and using multiple family friends as references, he got the job. We were so happy for him. The language barrier was just too much and he had to leave. I could tell he really wanted to be there and he's really sad about it. He's still the number one man in my life, and I hate to see him going through such a hard time. This is all part of God's plan for his life. He doesn't close a door without opening at least two windows, so something big is on the horizon for him.

Song of the day: Lost Without You by Robin Thicke
Quote of the day: "Falling in love is like jumping off a really tall building; your head tells you "idiot you're going to die" but your heart tells you "don't worry pretty girl, you can fly".