"Like how a single word can make a heart open. I might only have one match, but I can make an explosion.

Top 25 songs of 2015

1. Fight Song by Rachel Platten : 2015 was all about my fight. My fight against myself and the decisions I was making. My fight against the men who continued to let me down and couldn't live up to the extremely low expectations I set. My fight against my father who I love dearly but continue to disagree with. My fight against failure and being stuck in my sadness and disappointment. I had a lot of little battles this year and this song helped me keep going. My favorite line was "Like a small boat, in the ocean. Sending big waves into motion. Like how a single word can make a heart open. I might only have one match, but I could make an explosion". I made many explosions with the match that I had. This song gave me the motivation I needed to get through some of my hardest battles this year.          
2. Water Under the Bridge by Adele : This song came to me late, but I love it nonetheless. Adele is a goddess. She releases masterpiece after masterpiece. We had to wait four years to get new music, and it was worth the wait. Water Under the Bridge was definitely my favorite song from the album. "If you're gonna let me down let me down gently, don't pretend that you don't want me. Our love ain't water under the bridge". This song goes out to J. He knows he wan'ts me (Kimoji hairflip)

3. A New Day Has Come by Celine Dion : Too many of these songs are associated with men and my internal struggles. This one is no different. The song was released over ten years ago, but it came into my life in 2015. I had decided to stop practicing insanity and joined the "shoot your shot" movement. When it worked, this song became my anthem. The lyrics are so closely associated with my feelings : "The world thought I had it all, but I was waiting for you...". I'm still waiting and Celine Dion is great company.

4. Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran : The music video helped me fall in love with this song. He dances with her so beautifully. I may not be able to ballroom dance, but in my head I am spinning and twirling with Ed Sheeran. It's the love song of the year, and I can't wait to hear more music from Ed.

5. I Am Light by Erykah Badu : I did the Miss Black and Gold pageant this year and it was quite momentous for me. It was like a "coming out" occasion of sorts. I was showing the world that I have confidence in me. I got on stage in a bathing suit for the first time ever and killed it. Did I have rolls? yes, but I still killed it. So this song represents that accomplishment for me. It also represents me overcoming my pharmacy school failure. "I am not mistakes that I have made. Or any of thing things that caused me pain. I am not the pieces of the dreams I left behind. I am light." Erykah Badu is a queen, and I finally see it.

6. Love Yourself by Justin Bieber : Purpose was a beautiful album. It was exactly what I needed to fall back in love with Justin Bieber. Ed Sheeran wrote a beautiful break up son. I scream "my momma don't like you and she likes everyone.." every time we get to the chorus. This goes out to all the heart breakers.

7.One Man Can Change the World by Big Sean : This is another song I found during my demise this summer. I had the pleasure of seeing Big Sean in concert. I didn't go to as many concerts as usual this year which was quite sad. I heard this song at his concert, and I would pretend it was being sang to me. I cried to this song more than a couple of times. Oh goodness, 2015 was a hard year.

8. Hotline Bling by Drake : The song speaks for itself. It was the best Drake song I've heard ina minute. It represents the relationships of our generation all too well. The music video was life. I like Drake with a beard and sweater. My panties are a little wetter then they were before I started thinking about Drake with a beard and sweater.

9. I Bet by Ciara : Ciara did it again. Her music is questionable a majority of the time, but this song was all any girl could sing. We all related to her feelings of still wanting the man who hurt us. It was real and I appreciate this song.

10. Post to Be by Omarion : "If your dude comes close to me. He gon wanna ride off and then ghost with me. I might let your boy chauffer me, but he gotta eat the booty like groceries". Nothing more needs to be said. This song was a hit. It makes me want to dance and sing. Shoutout to Jhenae. That line is her legacy.

11. Mrs. Officer by Lil Wayne : I had forgotten this song existed. I went to see Lil Wayne in concert with my friend Sharon. We drove to Wichita and he was amazing. He kept looking out into the audience and saying we were beautiful in the most genuine voice. This song became stuck in my head from that point on. We also got to use it in the stroll off which was awesome. Dreams do come true.

11. Coffee by Miguel : My love for Miguel has definitely grown through the years. I have seen him in concerts four times (maybe more). The first time he was a nobody opening up for Usher. He has really grown since then. This song is beautiful, and I will always associate it with my KCGP adventure.

12. Blessings by Big Sean ft. Drake : It was Big Sean's year. Everyone from me to little Riley Curry was singing wayyyyy up I feel blessed.

13. I Don't **** With You by Big Sean: We were also singing I don't give a **** about you or anything that you do and really meaning it.

14. Slow Motion by My Future Husband : Trey is my baby. I got to see him live twice. Once in Wichita and once in California. He's my man. Love him, love him, love him.

15. Trap Queen by Fetty Wap : It was Fetty's year. Every song he dropped was magic, but this was the one that started it all. Not going to lie. He had me imagining myself in the kitchen cookie pies with my baby. I saw too many cute snaps to count of couples listening to trap queen. It was the ratchet anthem.

16. Sorry by Justin Bieber : I told you that this was the year I fell back in love with JB. This song has African beats so it speaks to me. It makes me want to dance, smile, twirl. It's upbeat and real. Yes Justin, its okay to sorry now. Selena's crazy. I would take you back.

17. The Fix by Jeremiah and Nelly : I love Marvin Gaye. Sexual Healing is a song I grew up on at all these different African parties and weddings that I went to. I loved seeing this song reappear through modern day artists. This song makes me want to dance too.

17. The Hills by the Weeknd : I said it was Fetty Wap's year, but I think I have to correct that statement. He shares this year with Adele, Justin Bieber, and the Weeknd. He became a household name in the most awesome way. He didn't have to sell out or make music like everybody elses. He did it by being himself. I wouldn't call this a love song, but when he gets to the chorus you definitely feel something.

18. Marvin Gaye by Charlie Puth ft. Meghan Trainor  : The video is absolutely adorable. They're at a school dance. It feels like 1980. Meghan Trainor is bringing booty back. I love it. It's the cutest song ever and I could sing it all day every day forever.

19. Into You by Fabulous : This song is old, but it described my feelings perfectly. When I was sad about J I listened to Water Under The Bridge, but when I was happy about J... I listened to this song. It turns out that he appreciates Fabulous too making the entire thing perfect. That plus..they were on a boat.

20. Back to Back by Drake : Shoutout to all my boss barbies wifing ninjas!! Ayy. I had to clean it up a bit, but everyone knows that line went hard. The beef between Drake and Meek was hilarious. Drake won by a landslide and Nicki stood by her man. Drake performed with all the famous memes as the backdrop. The whole thing was the most memorable battle of 2015. I like seeing artists challenge one another. Aubrey Graham proved that he's one Canadian you shouldn't mess with.

21. Earned It by The Weeknd : Fifty Shades of Grey was the most memorable movie of the year. I was a part of the fandom. Fifty Shades is a Twilight fan fiction, so those of us that grew up as twilight fans have a unique appreciate for this series. This was the theme song, and I couldn't get it out of my head. Another standing ovation to the Weeknd. He had noting but hits all year.

22. Best Friend by JR featuring Bae : The concept for this song was scandalous, but it was so catchy no one could stop singing it. Go best friend.

23. Big Rings by Future: I knew this list was missing something. That's Future. I loved all of his songs, but decided to only place one of the list. I loved Big Rings. This was playing the only time I went to the Cave this school year and the whole club went crazy.

24. Cheerleader by Omi : I heard this song on the radio on my way to Olive Garden in Kansas City with my line sister and her best friend Josh. Its so cheery. Perfect for days where the sun is shining down on your face and every little thing seems to be alright. How could it not be? Olive Garden has the never ending bread bowl.

25. No Role Modelz by J. Cole : This song has a different meaning from the one I've given it. I take it as an empowerment song. "She don't wanna be saved, don't save her" means she can save herself. I understand that's not what J. Cole meant, but that's what it means to me.


This concludes this years list. I enjoyed this music very much. It lit up my life time and time again. Excited to see what this next year holds in terms of music. Chris Brown just dropped the royalty album and rumor has it Rihanna will finally release new music. Praying for new music from Nicki. I can't wait.