Would you cry if you saw me crying, would you save my soul, tonight?

My father is the one who taught me and personified the saying "Actions speak louder then words". He didn't say it in english, but very few of you speak kiswahili, so we'll leave it at that. I spent my entire life watching him help people. When someone's car stops in the middle of the road, he would always drag us over to see what we could do. One time we were on a walk, so we offered to walk home and get our gas tank that we use for the mower. A police officer stopped to ask if the woman was ok shortly after and offered us a ride back to our house so we could get the tank faster. He thanked us for our kindness, and it was truly rewarding. That's the person he is. He's the one who helps people and is there for people even when it's not the easiest thing to do. I've learned from him and done my best to be a person I'm proud of. I have a gossipy mouth and am not extremely pleasent when I'm angry, but no one's perfect. What i've learned from my attempts at kindness is that not everyone is as kind to you.

There are people who are ever present when they need you in their lives and need your support. The minute after you've helped them change their tire or babysat their child while they do something, you will never hear from them again. Another huge thing my dad taught me is to never do something nice with the intension of getting something back. That defeats the entire purpose of what you're doing. I struggle with that part. I have people in my life that I feel like I'm always trying with. I'm always the one to call them or come up with a way to hang out. I go out of my way on their birthdays, graduations, and will probably do so at their weddings and baby showers. I commend some for being there for me and always being there for my big dilemmas and little ones. This rant to be isn't about you. It's the ones who never seem to be as active in the friendship as you are. Yes, I understand that everyone has a mountain of homework all the time, work, and every other stress of life you could think of. I have those issues of my own, but when it comes to maintaining a friendship and being there when I'm needed I feel like I try a lot harder then certain other individuals in my life.

I feel like the time has come to revaluate my relationships with some people. If I always have to be the one to contact them first or invite them to hang out, are they really my friends? They must make time for the other things that they do and other people they talk to. Should I bring it up with them? Would it be rude of me? Is this part of making my action speak louder then world? Continuing to be there for people who are not always there for me seems to be doing something I can be proud of without anything in return like my father taught me. Is it wrong that I hope one day they'll realize and appreciate my support. I definitely don't want to end up like the girl on 27 dresses. The bridesmaid that devotes her life to help friends and lets her own needs slip in the process. I will not text those that don't text me anymore. Those days are over. When they need me though, I will be there, because that's the person my father taught me to be. If you live in Oklahoma, I will probably check on you even if you're nowhere near where the tornado hit. The people who called me to show concern just because their a state below me are the ones that I cherish, and I will never stop trying to be that person for someone else. So if you have a grandma that always calls you to check on you or a friend who's always the first to see if you're okay after a break up, take some time to appreciate them. Don't just thank them in words but show them that what you've done means something to them.

Song of the day : Hero by Enrique Iglasias

This song kind of asks the questions I was asking myself.

Would you cry
If you saw me crying?
And would you save my soul, tonight?
Quote of the day:

"Love starts within. You must love yourself first before you can give it away to others."