"I gotta tell her how I feel/I gotta let her hear the Best Love Song she ever hearrrd in her life"

Hello Hello, I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello!
How are you all? I'm doing pretty amazingly great! The sun is shinning here where I live and everything feels perfect. I love weekends, its good to finally get some time to relax and just do fun things with family and friends. Its been a pretty good week, besides my physics test on friday but i'd rather not talk about that... On Thursday I went on a filed trip to my school to Topeka where we competed for singing and orchestra. Our choirs got all ones which is the highest score you can get. My choir got all of the points except for one out of 80. We sang There is Sweet Music Here and Nada de Turbe (this awesome song in spanish). It was fun to miss some school as well but my school can be kind of embarassing. Everyone there is so self centered, they think we're the best and their "above" all the "small town people" in Topeka. Its like they don't realize that lawrence is a small town too. They were insulting all those people from the other school and it just seemed rude to me. don't be rude to others!The orchestra got a one as well and we performed some really boring pieces. I don't really like orchestra that much. Its just not very fun and my teacher is really old...like 90 or something and she isn't good at making playing exciting.

Well a little update on the big news stories i've noticed, the royal wedding is coming up and something crazy happened with Kate Middleton! Someone found her face in a jelly bean! Its absolutely crazy because it looks exactly like her. Its like all those people who find Abraham Lincoln in potatoes. On a more serious note, Japan is still suffering from after shocks and terrible Nuclear stuff in their water. This shows that they should have never been allowed to possess nuclear power for their electricity and stuff because honestly they can't control it. I give them an F but I feel very bad for their people. Pray for them, I don't know what i'd do in that situation. Jelena, hollywoods teen it couple seems to still be together despite all the rumors of cheating we were hearing last week. Ms. Gomez should be visiting Mr. Bieber on his world tour next week in Malaysia. Their the worlds cutest couple. Thats all for now. Thanks for reading!

song of the day: Best Love Song by Chris Brown and T-Pain. I love this song... i'm always listening to it.

quote of the day: Don't frown, because you never know whos falling in love with your smile

"I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me" -Selena Gomez

Hello World,
Its a beautiful day, the sun is shinning, Best Love Song is playing and I feel good. I'm much better then yesterday, my pity party phase is one hundred percent over and the tears have stopped. The truth is I have no reason to ever complain about anything. I'm healthy, I have an amazing family and that should be enough. How many people never get the chance to really live. I have that chance. I'm young and i'm alive and yes I make mistakes and sometimes it feels like things will never work out for me but at the end of the day I'm grateful and you all should be too. We live in a tough world now. Not everything as easy as it was back in the day, and there are plenty of people ready to bring you down or make you feel like you aren't good enough. But the truth is you are.

I don't even know who's reading thing, but I'm pretty sure your special. You've gotta be to be cool enough to read this blog :) Everyone thinks this urge for inspirational songs right now is really cheesy but I think that the world needs them. We're living in a time where everyone is striving to be perfect. Crooked teeth? get braces. Bad eyes? get contacts. Too fat? lipo. Too small? boob job. All these things are incredibly unnecessary. I just read Janet Jackson's book True You last month and it was pretty inspiring. The whole book was about her struggle with loving herself. You'd think she'd be the most secure person in the world, she's janet jackson I grew up wishing I was her. But even she felt like she wasn't good enough. Love yourself, even if no one else does. Other people are just stupid, and bring you down because their jealous and have their own issues. Don't let them get to you.

song of the day: Best Love Song & Next 2 You (because I'm loving anything and everything Chris Brown right now. Especially these two songs).

quote of the day: Just because you fail once, doesn't mean your going to fail at everything - Marilyn Monroe

"Tied Together with a smile but its coming undone"

Today is honestly the worlds weirdest day. I can't stop crying. It's not because i'm sad either I just think about all these things and think about life and my reaction is just to cry. I have no answers, and nothing is for sure and I have no reason not to hope for the best in every aspect of life but I just can't. I need to get it together, I also need to find real people to talk too. Not that I don't love this blog and the people that read it, but....I need someone real. I also need to stop crying, I think I have over active tear syndrome and i hope it doesn't spread through the blog because it sucks my friends. It really does.

"This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending/No hope no love no glory/No happy ending..."

Hello beautiful people,
I have a story for you today. I took a risk again...for real this time. I decided to let myself fall and see where it took me. I was hoping that it was a risk worth taking. But its me remember? It didn't work out. My risks never really workout. I wonder if I did something terrible in another life that I'm repaying for, or maybe I just haven't stored enough karma points. Or maybe it just wasn't meant to be. But I really wanted it to work this time. I really wanted something, and I haven't really wanted something so bad before. But I was scared. And my fear got in the way. This sounds incredibly dumb...but... I just wanted him to like me.

For like three weeks I definitely just dealt with it, and I promised myself that I wouldn't cry anymore. Not over a boy, or anything else. I met this internet friend that never cries, because its a sign of weakness. I wanted to be strong too and thats why I avoided writting this because I knew that when I really thought about it and let myself feel I would...and I was right. I really don't blame anyone in the situation but me. And looking back would I do it again? No, because at the end of the day I think I just made a fool of myself and let my feelings get in the way of my brain.

But the worst part in the whole entire thing, is dealing with it alone. I feel like I'm a half way decent friend. I make my share of mistakes like everyone else but I try to be there for the people in my life. I really do. I listen to their problems, I cheer them on in their hard times, and I fight for them when they didn't get what they deserve. But when it comes to me...none of them are ever there. I'm all alone. Are those really friends? I don't think so. I sit and I listen to them talk about whatever, but when its my turn to need somebody to listen there's never anyone there. At first, I didn't want to tell anyone because I felt like the decisions I make are my business and my business only. But finally I shared with some people that I should be able to tell anything. They just didn't care. It wasn't a huge deal but it would have been awesome to have someone look past my fake smile and realize that I need them. So now I know, that I need to learn to fight for myself and take care of myself. Its me vs. the world and I don't know if I can win this one.

song of the day: Happy Ending - Mika

quote of the day: Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?

do me a favor... be there for the people in your life because you never know when they really need you. Weather or not they show it all the time

"Everything that I have is yours/You will never be cold or hungry/I'll be there when your insecure let you know that your always lovely"

I'm going to devote part of this post to Chris Brown. Last week he kind of lost it and it was pretty big news in the celebrity world. The F.A.M.E. album released last monday and I will talk about it in more detail in times to come. But to promote the album he went on Good Morning America and was scheduled for an interview with Robin. He comes in looks really cute and is ready to talk about his album. Robin starts talking about Rihanna right of the bat. Chris Brown gets upset and says he came to talk about the album not things that happened in his past. Stands up very obviously angry, sings a song and leaves. What the camaras don't show us is him ripping his shirt off (bummer) and throwing a chair through the window at the studio he was recording at. He got upset and I totally understand. Imagine the whole world never being able to move past the moment when you were at your lowest? That would really suck wouldn't it?

He made a very spectacular album. The last album wasn't my favorite and I had lost interest in my favorite boy after the album with With You and Forever on it but this new one is pure greatest. F.A.M.E. stands for Fans Are my Everything and its really a crowd pleaser album. He has a variety of songs on there but my favorite are the slower romantic ones. Next 2 You has been added to the list of my favorite songs of all time. This is the duet between Chris and my future husband Justin Bieber. The duet is absolutely amazing, they are so talented. I was so proud of justin because he totally sounded like a little man and his voice was crazy. There were moment when you couldn't tell who was singing what. Chris wants to be a big brother type figure to Justin and I think its a semi - good thing because chris understands growing up in the public eye. They both started as little high school boys in gray hoodies, and Justin still is one but you get it. E online cracked me up when they did a story on the "brothers" and they said "lets hope for selena's sake Justin isen't taking the advice" haha.

Anyways some other good songs from the fame album are:
She Ain't You
All Back
Should've Kissed You (my second fav)
Up 2 You

A side note, throughout the whole album there are little refrences to rihanna like "Oh na na's" in the background. Its too cute. He still loves her, and I think he regrets his decision. In my book he is...forgiven and very talented. #TeamBreezy

Song of the day: Next 2 You by Chris Brown ft. Justin Bieber

quote of the day: You Can Drive at 16, Go to war at 18, Drink at 21, and retire at 65. But how old do you have to be for your love to be real? - One Tree Hill

And promise not to promise anymore/And if you come around again then I will take/then I will take the chain from off the door"

Hello to my favorite readers,
I hope your all doing good. This last two weeks has been a pretty amazing one. I'ev been involved in a show at my school called Encore. Its really big in our community. Our choir department puts on a full 3 and 1/2 hour show with us singing a variety of different songs. I told you that I had only made one song and was kind of bummed about it but once the performances started I really enjoyed myself. There were 1000 people in the audience and for some reason I wasn't nervous at all. I just did it how we've been practicing for the last 3 months and had the time of my life singing and dancing. It was a lot of fun, I'm really happy to have been part of it.

I also have been having all these girl talks about boys, and weight, and love and a ton of deep things with my friends backstage and its just fun. The most interesting conversation we had to me though, was a semi- argument about which hurt more emotional. Being Cheated on vs. Being Slapped by the person that you love. It was funny because we were split directly down the middle between the two. I feel like it almost broke out into the secure and the insecure. I personally said being cheated on would hurt way more, because it means what ever you had with the person wasn't good enough for him and he needed something more that you didn't have. Feeling not good enough is the worst thing in the world. The girls who said it would hurt more to be slapped (emotionally) said it was because they had zero respect for them at all and at least if they hit them they could fight back and get their anger out. Which would you say hurts more?

The last piece of information for today are some amazing new songs i've heard through Encore:

The Chain by Ingrid Michealson
One Day by Mitisyahu ft. Akon
Galileo by the Indigo Girls
Five Years Time by Noah and the Whale
Fidelity by Regina Specktor

These are all really good songs, listen to them and you wont be disappointed.