Just having fun (my song writting expiriments not based on a true story)

I cant see your face that day
I decide to say those three lovley words
It looks shocked upset
your saying we were just having fun

Yes we were just having fun
till the day you looked me in the eye
and your lips touched mine

My heard was beating fast
Got a feeling of joy ive never felt
From that moment on
He was the only thing in that messed up mind of mine

Look back to the first day we ever met
My hear was smashed in two
tears still in my eyes and feeling blue

You walked right up to me said I think your too pretty to cry
You said I must be neive not to know
that beauty in one word is my name

You wiped my tears away
Made me dance, drink, and have some fun
By the end of the night I forgot that loser who made me cry

Yes we were just having fun
till the day when you looked me in the eye
and your lips touched mine

So now i'm gonna be brave
and tell you what I need to say
I love ya, love ya, love ya, love ya
soooo muuch, you curly headed cute boy


Ok so this song is my first expiriment and its not nessecarily for me to sing. I wanted to come up with an amazing piano part to go with it so It could have like a mix of the taylor swift/vannessa carloton/ alicia keys vibe going. Like not hip hop or pop and not country, definatly not rap but beautiful music. I wouldent even mind a guitar part if I could find a player and once its completed or I right more songs I could work on tryin to sell them or record them or something. who knows? It could be a step in the right carreer path.

Alrigt thats all for now

one person living in two diffrent worlds

Ok so im sure if you live in the 21st centruy and have ever walked into walmart or turned on channel 78 the first thing you thought of when you saw my tittle was "Best of both worlds" hannah montannas thing but thats not what I mean. No i am not secretly beyonce or have a blond wig but I live in two cultures. As you might know if your reading it my parents were born in tanzania. Zanzibar to be exact. Zanzibar is a tiny tiny little island wish could be debated as a state or country. Depends on who you ask but since I believe my daddy, its a state. And they grew up in a whole nother culture. Its not the same as here. And so there are some things that we dont relate on and henth that i dont relate on it either. If I had to pick one culture im most like it would probably be america. Im more american cause ive lived here my whole life and I love it. I like being an american. And I like being an african too. And ive never made the mistake of speaking swahilli when I should be speaking english which ive seen people do. Im fluent in swahilli though and I must say one of the most annoying things of telling people that is they freak out and look at me like im albert eninstien or something. And then they ALWAYS I mean ALWAYS ask me to say something in swahilli. And thats when I hit a blank. I never know what to say. So I say something dumb like your hair looks nice. And then their like no say this. And every once in awhile it goes on and on and on. But anyways I dont know why im complaining. This blog is pretty random today. And next im gonna post this song im writting. Anyways thanks to the readers

Quote of the day:
Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.

Song of the day:
Smooth criminal - Mj

television update:
keep watching secret life pretty amazing

There are people out there who dont deserve the gift of life. Its one thing to breath and keep your heart breathing and its another thing to really truley live. The way I see it living is doing the things you love, being happy, caring for others, helping charaties, and feeling. Not nessecarily just feeling happy emotions but I mean really truley feeling like the sadness you feel when you find out the one you love didnt ever really love you, or the happiness you feel when your husband came home from iraq alive. The moments when you are truley feeling. And sometimes your feelings are scary. So some people choose to block out any feeling they could possibly have and be numb by using drugs and alcahol and other things that kind of disgust me. When thier numb they think that they are living better than everyone else who is suffering because they dont feel. But what they dont understand is that feeling pain, and sadness is better than not feeling at all. Im gonna go back to these people but first im gonna talk about a little girl I saw on sixty minutes. She cant feel. She was born unabled to do it. And some people thing , oh how wonderful. God has really blessed her. When she falls down and scraps her knees she dosent feel it. If someone were to break her nose she would feel nothing. But the way sixtey minutes portraied it it was a bad thing. Because imagine if someone were every to take advantage of her they could cut her arm off and she could bleed to death and not even feel it. Not even know whats going on. The girl has had some problems in life. She had to go through all kinds of trainings and tests. When I saw the episode she was about 6 or 7 but I dont know how old she is now. She was trained to say ow when anything abnormal happened to her during physical activity like gym or playing on the park. But shes constantly having to go through check ups because she wouldent feel if lets say her appendix broke open. Some would say she isent living, but I think its the oppisite. Because although she cant feel physically she can feel from her heart. Which is what really counts. listening to your heart and knowing whats right and wrong. Not by what society says but from your heart. There are numb, crazy people out there who are not living. And if they are their definatly not stopping to think from their heart. On friday a woman from lawrence, kansas passed away. It was a typical day her, her daughter, and her mother and law all went out ot starlight to see a concert. They got back in their car and were heading towards lawrences when a bunch of stray bullets shot through her window or something of that matter and she died in the car while her daughter was siting just inches away from her, helpless. The person who was letting off those bullets didnt have a heart. Imagine killing anyone. I cant do it. I could never pull a trigger to a gun knowing I would kill a person or an animal that has someone. Everyone has someone on earth that loves them. wheather they know it or not. And pulling that trigger will hurt that person or peoples out there who loves them more than you could EVER imagine. I mean think of the pain that the woman herself felt as the gun shot went through her body. Or the pain her daughter felt as she watched her mother die. And let me tell you I knew this lady and she seemed like the last person to deserve something like this. She was nice and sweet and polite. She said hi to everyone and was friendly. She loved her family and was a big part of the church I attend. She didnt deserve this and no one does. So next time you hear a friend of yours talking about buying a gun, or a friend of yours say their in a gang or doing something that would take them out of their right mind. Make a diffrence. I dont mean to sound like a chessy comercial but if you could save a life in any way, do it. People are dieing ever seconds for reasons that could be solved simply by water. or a few grains of rice. Some people are dieing of diseses that there are cures for simply because they cant afford the $20.00 for the pill they need or the surgery they would need. I want to change that. Right now I dont know how to do it. But as I grow and become older I want to some way help people. I want to make it so that girl who watched her daughter die never had to feel that pain. Or the mother who held her dead child due to water shortage never has to go through that. Part of it is needing money. I dont really have that right now im not working my main focas is school. But when I grow up I want to do my part in healing the world. wheather its through something as simple as recycling or becoming a docter and having a free clinic once a week or something. Im still figuring it out. But I guess the point of all this is listen to your heart and live every moment doing what you love to do because you never know when it will all end for you.

Quote of the day ( I decided to keep it light and a little on the humorous side since my blog was slightly depressing and serious today): I honestly dont know where she is. Why dont you look in the yellow pages under W for whore, but wait you should probably look under H she was never really that bright. - Dan scott from one tree hill

Song of the day:
Knock you down - Keri Hilson
and if everyones heard the remix to all my life playing in abrocrombie and fitch and they know the name please let me know. Its and amazing song.

for the couch potatoes like me:
Secret life of the american teenager has a brand new episode tomorow. We'll find out if amy and ben are going to italy together and if they'll take john. Whats new with adriane and ricky ,and grace and jack.

Man in the mirror

Man in the mirror is a song that kind of reminds me of Ghandi. Ghandi said words that stick with me. Their some of the first things that come to my mind when asked to say a quote. One of them is "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." and the second quote its "be the change you wish to see in the world". As humans we complain. A lot. Just over and over about everything. And in man in the mirror michael jackson sings something like if you want make the world a better place look at yourself and make a change. Now how many people do comunity service out of every comunity. If I had to guess i'd say like 10% which isent bad. I for one have lived 14 years and never done any comunity service that effected any one. With girl scouts I helped the enviorment by picking up trash, planting grass, multhing, and bird houses. But when you think about it so what? There are some simple things in life that make the world better. One is something that everyone can do, smile. You never really think about the diffrence it makes to the girl with the big glasses and sticky pants or the jocks who might be tired of people looking at his abbs and wouldent mind someone looking at their face for one. A smile is something that can effect someone or make no diffrence at all. It really just depends. But its something that takes zero energy that you can do to make the world better. How you talk to people is also important. There are so many people out there with nicknames that your so used too it dosent seem to matter but maybe it hurts the persons feelings being called retard, or bighead or something. Im really not sure where this is going but waht Im basically try to say is just be nice. and when your nice your inner self will be nice and when you inner self will be nice your outerself will be nice. and you'll just be nice. And feel good about yourself. So smile, and dont call people names i guess

Quote of the day:
I'm starting with the man in the mirror. Im asking him to change his ways, and no message could have been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and then make the change - michael jackson

Song of the day:
Best I ever had - Drake

Tv update:
watch secret life tonight. should be good. and as always one tree hill is the best.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson and my heart goes out to paris, prince, and blanket I cant imagine going through something like that.

Today was the first day I cried for michael and the jackson family. I knew it was coming, im tough and made it through most of the memorial but when Paris Kathrine his daughter came out and said she loved him so so much and he was the best dad she could ever imagine I was lost in tears. That poor girl. I mean to the world he was king of celebs who gave us songs like Heal the world, Billie Jean, Thriller, Human Nature, I'll be there, Bad, and Dont stop till you get enough but that girl lost her father. I know how much I love my daddy and seeing her go through that was horrible. And her little brother was so cute. Did anyone notice he was carrying around a michael jackson doll? It was sweet and sad at the same time. Jackson brothers: Those matching suits blew me away and the glove made it perfect (the fashion side of me speaking). Brooke sheilds definatly made me smile when she said "what's up with the glove, if you hold my hand it better be with the other hand those sequeins can really dig into your hand after awhile" or when she talked about trying to catch a glimpse of elizebeth taylors wedding dress together. Magic johnson also put a smile on my face when he told the KFC story. Usher, Usher, usher I have always loved him as an artist and hot african american male but when walked up to michaels mother and got down on his knees I was blown away. It was touching, sweet, and caring. Heal the world was also a realllly nice part. A lot of the family and celebs singing including mjs children and some pretty kick butt children choirs. Rev. Al Sharpton was WOW WOW WOW. That speech was amazing. Anyways what im basically saying is if you didnt want the michael jackson memorial watch it on youtube. And Rip forever Micahel jackson.

Song of the day:
Smile sung by jermain jackson (michaels favorite song)

Quote of the day:

Heal The World ,Make It A Better Place , For You And For Me And The Entire Human Race ,There Are People Dying ,If You Care Enough For The Living, Make A Better Place ,For You And For Me - heal the world (wonderful wonderful song)

Tv show:
CNN live with the michael jackson memorial is AMAZING. I salute cnn for giving me most everything I wanted to see except for zooming in on chirs brown and the kerdashian family whos fashion makes me humongusly jeleous :)

Ok, so I suck. I didnt write in like a month and a half. So much has happnened to me its not even funny. The last day of being a freshman in high school seems so far away. But so close at the same time. Its safe to say im not ready to be in 10th grade at freestate. I am far from it. But during the time I didnt write I saw a chunk of the world. I went to europe. France and Spain. It was amazing, everything was so beautiful. From the 300 euro marc jacobs shoes to the eiffel tower in france. I swam in the medeteranian, saw more landmarks and popular tourtist attractions then I saw popular, and saw the hottest guys in the face of the planet. I loved it. It went by fast and I missed home a little bit but I felt on top of the world. The vespas everywhere, Crepes in paris it was just all so sureal and once again far away. It seems like I am buzzing through life and the moments that should mean so much are here and gone. I dont like. And not just cause half of my summer is already gone and it reallly sucks. Its just that I feel like my days of being a kid are limited. My days of having that childhood feeling of not a worry in the world are all gone. Im barley hanging on. Now the king of pop, michael jackson died about a week ago. And when he died I realized how kick butt his songs are and how maybe I was wrong to listen to the mj jokes and read the tabloids with fake oxagen tank storys and such. But after watching some interviews about him I realized that maybe part of the reason he succeeded to be so much more than anyone really in the music industry way that 1. he never lost his childhood spirit. hes a few years older than my dad but he went on amusment park rides and was an ice cream fanatic. He was more intrested in stuff that my brother is than my dad whos closer in age. In the bible theres a verse that I know by heart and ive known and liked since I was like ten. The verse is "Let the children come to me and do not hinder them because the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these" and jesus said that while in the first century while children were trying to come up to him and talk and see jesus. I mean come on who wouldent want too. And people were telling them to leave because they were being loud and annoying you know being kids. And what I believe he meant when he said that was children are innocent and full of spirit. They have the courage to do what So many adults cant. They apolagize when they've done something wrong and really mean it. They can make friends with almsot anyone without once thinking oh look hes fat, or eww what is he wearing or just all kinds of stuff that we all see first. Children see everyone as people and dont care about the little things that young adults on care about. There is so much blocking peoples veiw and getting in the way of how life should really be that most of the time we dont enjoy it. And when people, like michael jackson do they get called names like wacko jacko or you know pedafiles and such. Now im not saying pedophiling and doing certin things are ok because their just getting in with the spirt within them and being children but im saying that maybe we all as a society should stop caring so much about the little things and look at the big picture. Your soulmate might be out there running around in a dark vador suit with a bunch of pimples and gigantor glasses and if you dont get to know people because of how they look or how other people see them then you never mean your soulmate who should always bring out the best in you. And if they do the opposite then their not right. I've come to realize i've had crushes on a lot of boys who dont make me confortable or that i would care to spend the rest of my life with. And when you look at the big picture thats what its all about. Finding the true love of your life. So many people date in high school simply for plessures or showing off. And im not saying its bad but its living in the small picture. The whole point of all of it is to find the one your willing to love forever. You other half. And I realized this while watching (suprise, suprise) one tree hill. Haley and Nathen may not be the most exciting characters in the whole thing but you see them slowly learn to look at the big picture over the seasons and it teaches you a lot about life. Maybe im seeing it all wrong but idk. the funny thing is I was sitting watching tv and remembered my blog signed on and started writing and I learned stuff about myself while doing it. I think im starting to get the whole point of a blog of a journal. Its writing your thoughts down and helping you understand them along with the whole rest of the world ofcourse ,that just makes it feel more spontanious. Well hope everyone enjoys their summer.....

Quotes:
Sometimes when you’re young you think nothing can hurt you. It’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you and you have big plans. Find your perfect match, the one that completes you. But as you get older you realize it’s not always that easy. It’s not until the end of your life that you realize that the plans you made were simply plans. Because at the end when you’re looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you are leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered. – Lucas Scott

song of the week:
Happy ending - mika (its pretty amazing)

tv update:
Secret life of an american teenager par for the course premires tonight. I enjoy that show a lot