"No one knows that you cry & you don't tell anyone/That you might not be the golden one/Your tied together with a smile but your coming undone"

Hello Everyone!
Its friday! Yay! The snow is still on the round and the view from my window is kind of a little beautiful. Its warm in here and i'm more thankful then ever for havin a roof over my head. So i've been hearing about quite a few interesting news stories. I'll start with the miraculous one, because theres nothing like a miracle to cheer a person on. So there was a girl, 23 years old who was kidnapped at only a few days old and found her parents! Exciting right? When she was an infant in the hospital, this women dressed up as a nurse and stole the baby. How suckish would that be? Someone just steals your new born baby and raises her as her own when shes a real quack. Apperently this happens all the time, peoples babies get stolen or mixed up. I think if I was a mother who just gave birth I woulden't want them to take my baby away, i'd rather I be able to stay in the same room. The girl figured out she was a stolen baby when her fake "mother" wasen't able to produce a birth certificate for her, and thats really fishy. All of you should have a birth certificate, if you don't then something fishy's going on. But when she realized that she may be stolen or something she went to the police, matched her DNA and age and they set her up with her real parents.

So she has a happy but akward ending. Can you imagine having to meet your own parents. You'd be super worried about what to talk about, and they may feel more connected to you then you feel to them. Its really rough and hard to imagine. But i'm glad the psyco women didn't kill her though. Shes still on the loose so protect your babies readers. On the subject of babies, did you hear about the school where 90 of the students are pregnant or gave birth earlier this year (as is 2011). Its a high school, in Memphis, TN. Can you believe that? Kim Kardashian, someone I semi- look up too spoke about this earlier and I was really with her on this one. She spoke about how having a baby changes your life and most people just aren't ready to do that anywhere from 15-18 years of age. People watch these shows like Teen Mom, and Secret Life of the American Teenager and get all these crazy ideas about what it will be like for them. Its fun to watch, but not so fun to live from waht I can think of. These are 90 students, meaning they probably don't have any jobs or places of their own. Where are they gonna put these babies? You know its really easy to get pregnant, but to raise your baby and teach them all the things they need to no isen't easy.

Another thing I don't get is at this point don't we all know about condoms and birth control? I feel like if your old enough to have sex you should be old enough to protect yourself from whats out there. I understand that some people can't use birth control because of religious affiliations, but other then that its a good way to keep yourself from being in an impossible to handle situations. Babies are hard work, 18 years of it. And you may have a lot of love in your heart but not have what it takes to bring up a child in a happy, healthy enviorment. I personally don't believe in abortion & I bet some of those girls don't either. But maybe they could consider adoption and some other resources if their not fit to be mothers. I also wonder who fathered these children. If this is a posative situation there are 90 different fathers but part if me thinks it could be a one man/two baby situation. Theres so much that goes into this story but just pray for these teens. Keep them in your posative thoughts and hopefully they'll be able to raise future presidents and actors. I want nothing but the best for all of them, but I wrote some of this harsh stuff so that those of you who are thinking about getting yourself in a situation would remember that its not as easy as it looks on t.v.

song of the day: Tied together with a smile by Taylor Swift

quote of the day: "Girls," she pleaded, "please, think very carefully before you make these kinds of decisions. Talk to your family, friends, teachers, and most of all, be careful."

- Kim Kardashian

"I know theres sunshine beyond that rain/I know theres good times beyond that pain/Can you tell me how I can make a change"

Hey!
This is a continuation of my blog from just a few minutes ago. Now I get to talk to you about something sad I went through. I'm a lot better now though. So these last couple days my whole life has been about Encore! Encore is this show that my choir puts in where we perform songs. Its kinda like a less cool version of Glee, but its just as serious. We have to have costumes, coreography, good vocals, and all that has to be disucssed and done outside of class. I'm in the groups singing, Shout, Like a Prayer, Say My Name, I wanna Dance with Somebody, and Total Eclipse of the Heart. The like a prayer group had a rehersal where we were gonna decide who gets the solo. For some reason I really wanted the solo, more then anything. It was really cool, because I finally realized that I absolutley love to sing. And I would like to do that in front of others. So I practiced over the weekend and really thought I stood a chance at the solo.

I think you can predict...I didn't get it. I just got so sad and heartbroken over the whole thing. I seriously cried. Weird, I know but it just really hurt me. And part of it was that i'd just come from a great enviorenment with such caring and concerened people. I came home to my family who really cares about me, but it just seemed like I had no one to really lean on outside of my family. It kinda sucked and I was feeling really bad. And once one thing goes wrong another does. So I get over it, do my homework and when I wake up I have swollen eyes. My first reaction was, OH my gosh my mom was right! When you wear make up too much you start to look ugly without it. My poor face!. It sounds dumb but I coulden't put my finger on what was different about my face. After a couple minutes in front of the mirror I realized my eyes were swollen. It looked terrible, so my mom had the idea to hide it with my glasses. Thank goodness no one noticed.

The next thing that happened wasen't too bad, but today in choir we had to state our sizes. My last name comes first so I said large, then the girl was like "just so everyone knows the shirts run really big so you don't need to worry about getting a bigger size) then the girl stares at me waiting for me to change so I saw I'll take medium I guess. Now I wanted to slap myself for being less confident but 97% of the girls in there said they were small and trust me, they weren't all small. It was the perfect example of how our society pressures people into being skinny. Now i'm gonna get a shirt that doesn't fit and its gonna suck. I went up to change it after class, but the sheet was gone. So now I might get stuck with a small shirt thats all tight on my boobs and stomach. That will be great won't it? Not! I over worry about everything but, I feel like i'm doing it with good reason this time. Hopefully the sheet will still be there tomorow.

song of the day: Pray by Justin Bieber

quote of the day: Its funny how when you do something nice no one notices, but when you make a mistake no one forgets

"I have a dream that one day/I'ma look deep within myself/i gotta find a way/My dream is to be free"

Hey Everyone!
It's been awhile, I think you should all know that its snowing over here and it looks beautiful. And I have two stories to tell you, one of an ultimate high and the other of an ultimate low. I'm going to start with the good news but if your reading this from oldest to newest you might end up hearing the bad news first. oh well. The good news is that this last long weeked I went to an amazing Christian Youth Event called Miqra. Miqra means public reading of the bible in hebrew. Hebrew is the original language of the christian faith for those of you who don't know because we recieved the old testement from the jewish. At this event the bible is being read every second till monday morning when we end with Revelations the last page of the bible. But we really don't end up hearing much of it. The whole time we play games, and have awesome activities.

This even was held at this beautiful cathedral, with amazing stain glass windows of every color and shape. There were plenty of candles and the location had a good feel to it. When my dad dropped me off I was really worried and prepared to spend a weekend by myself. This was because I didn't know anyone at the event. What I didn't know was that i'd end up spending the next 72 hours of my life with some of the kindest people around. Everyone there was so nice, and I just knew it was the God in them. I go to school with some pretty rude people so going to this event opened my eyes to a different and better life. These kids were very friendly, almost all watched glee, some weren't allowed to date or get on sites like facebook and they didn't complain or do it behind their parents backs. They were really cool to me for that. The adults were really nice as well.

We played a really awesome game where we got 25 song lyrics and we had to guess the song. Of course I was beast at that game because I always have song lyrics for this blog , so I really helped my "tribe". At youth events we almost always have tribes previously known as family groups. Its just a small group that you can meet up with to do activities that you get assigned with and can get closer too people and god then when your in a big group. Afterwards we took pictures describing all the lyrics. We sang plenty of praise and worship songs and of course read the bible. That was the first time i've read the bible for an hour strait. I was pleased with what I read and inspired to read more. The whole thing was on youtube so my family saw it and it was cool :)

We also had a dance that was fun. We did stuff like the electric slide, cha cha slide, cupids shuffle, thriller dance, and some other stuff. They also jammed out to Teach Me How to Dougi and Bottoms up and stuff. Yes we were in a church, and yes it was ok. We're episcopalian and we embrace who we are. If you don't listen to bottoms up in a church but listen it at home who are you lying too? The big man upstairs knows what you do in church and out. I had a great time and met some cool people. It was a great expireance


song of the day: I have a dream by Common

quote of the day: An indivisual has not started living until he can rise about the narrow confines of his indiviualistic concerns to the broader concerns of humanity - Martin Luther King Jr.

"I wanna dance with somebody/I wanna feel the heat with somebody/I wanna dance with somebody/Somebody who loves you

Hey!
Whats up my people? I seriously spent a long time thinking about my last couple of blogs. Part of me was tempted to delete them, but why would I hide what I was feeling. I seriously was feeling all of that, but now I'm in a less sentimental mood. I still feel the same things but I have my head on straight and am thinking about other things more and not just worrying about my non exsist love life, or future love life. I'm so weird. Part of my problem is I can't control my thoughts. I'm akways thinking and always having different thoughts. Its weird, but I'm used to it. Remember I said I don't get oppurtunities? Got one, didn't use it. Slap me on the hand, God gives me what I ask for and I don't open the gift. So sad, but on a different note.

You. all. have. been. living. a. lie. Don't get mad and stop reading this now, I'm not judging your life or anything weird. I'm talking about star signs. Did you hear about the change? They added a 13th sign which I now am, and it sucks. I am a sagittarious. I like being a sagittarious, its fun and sagittarious's are love matched with the best guys, aries, and scorpios :) Some of you are probably thinking, well what ev i'm still the same sign. No a lot of you probably changed when they divided the months differences. The horescope masters say this star has been in the sky for a long time they just weren't ready to make the change. A lot of people aren't believing their new sign, because it was the eastern horescope types that added the new star and most of us in the U.S. and U.K. follow the western systems. Its all super confuzing, but thats half the fun of it right?

So I'm going to Miqra this weekend, if your a crazy stalker pretend you didn't read that. Unless your a devishly handsome aries,scorpio,or Leo stalker, then feel free to come back because like I said, I'm sagittarious at heart :) Anyways back to Miqra, Miqra is a hebrew word for reading (if you were jewish you probably know that). And throughout the whole event we read the bible from front to finish. The bible never stops being read. I don't know anyone whos going and I'm venturing out on my own, but you know what I need more faith in my life. I feel like I'm not where I used to be with my religion and I started relying more on 11:11 and less on God. Thats just not the way I was raised and not the way I want to live my life. Let me tell you, Episcopalians are the kindest of people. I'm not just saying that cause i'm one I'm telling you because its the truth. I just find it hard to connect with people sometimes, but i'll put my best foot forward at this youth event. Wish me luck guys.

song of the day: I wannna dance with somebody by Whitney Houstan (it puts me in a good mood). Listen to it, I dare you. Its one of my Encore songs. I feel the same way as her, I want to really dance with somebody and feel it from head to toe. Someday :)

quote of the day: A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.

"All those other girls well their beautiful but would they write a song for you?"

"Hey Stephen, I know looks can be deceiving but I know I saw a light in you
As we walked we were talking and I didn't say half the things I wanted to
Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window
I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold
Hey Stephen, boy you might have me believing I don't always have to be alone...

cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help I if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself

Hey Stephen, I've been holding back this feeling
So I've got some things to say to you
I seen it all so I thought but I never seen nobody shine the way you do
The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name
It's beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change
Hey Stephen, why are people always leaving
I think you and I should stay the same


Hey Stephen I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose
All those other girls, well they're beautiful but would they write a song for you"

Hey everyone! The Amazing Taylor Swift has brought me full circle. I sang through the sad songs and then hope came in the form of a song called Hey Stephen on shuffle. If you skipped reading all that you totally should, because thats exactly how I feel. Instead of Stephan make it prince's real name and you got me. So Mr. Wonderful, like Taylor said, those other girls are beautiful but would they ever care the way I already do? I would stand tossing rocks at your window forever, well not forever but a long time even in the -7 degree weather like today. And I would do it because I know that your worth it, in every single way. And someday if its in Gods plan,and its supposed to happen, you'll realize it. I'll be waiting when you finally do, make it sooner rather then later though?


This is starting to sound like my old other blog, but I can't help it. I needed to get that out and this is my outlet. I could just tell him, but I don't know if he wants to hear it. Thats just the way life goes, when he wants to hear it I promise you i'll say it. In all its entirety. I won't try and look cool or less mushy or whatever. I'll be me. And If he's lucky i'll still be around ready to love him.... if not, his loss.

"I'm not a princess..."

"I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around"

Dear Taylor Swift,
I would really appriciate it if you stopped stealing all the words I'm thinking.
Thanks Much


The song above is from White Horse by Taylor swift, I'm feeling kind down about stuff now and the song is just perfect. Yes. I am sitting her listening to taylor swift songs about how boys never go for the right girls and other songs about wishing he was mine. Yes. Some would say its pathetic. No I don't think so. Yes. I'll keep doing this till I feel better. No. I don't feel better yet

"Forget the world now we won't let them see/But theres one thing left to do/That the weight has lifted love has truley shifted my way/Marry Me"

Hey Everyone,
So I'm semi-bummed. Why? I really don't even know. I think it started with school today. No, not the fact that I had to go even though that was sad. I'm jealous of my people down in Atlanta who got to stay home for like a whole week! But anyways when we went to school today we got to fill out our matchmaker forms. If you've been following me since last year then you remember me talking about it then. Everyone at my school, boys & girls are required to fill out a 20 question thing about what their looking for and all this stuff and then we send the forms to Canada (I love canada, I think I might belong there and I can be Drake and Justin Biebers cute girl next door). Anyways they send it to canada and then we get the results on...valentines day. Last year my perfect match actually seemed actually ok, but the last conversation we'd had was in the 2nd grade so I didn't really see us going from strangers to lovers.

Theres nothing wrong with valentines day and all this perfect match lovey dovey stuff aside from the fact it kind of sucks when your single. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being single. I don't even know if I want to be in a relationship for sure it just seems appealing to me. I've never really dated someone, like a real legit relationship. I lost my kissing virginity to my best guy friend and that never went anywhere. It seems like I get close to people then they fall for someone else. It sucks. But anyways, when your alone valentines day is just another day to remember that you are alone.

I've been kind of on the lookout at school for potential valentines but there was no spark with any of them. Some of them were ok, nice sweet boys. Awhile ago I was on the right track of getting over Prince. Then I somehow got some false sense of hope about him and I. But its starting to click with me now that he doesn't like me. You know being facebook friends with someone opens you up to another side of them, the kind you don't really see in person. His facebook alter ego seems really open and friendly like, I'm open to making friends with anyone. But then I try and its like sorry...everyone but you. I don't try very hard, I don't have the oppurtunities, and I'd just love it if he loved me. Am I wrong for that? Am I wrong for wanting to be wanted and wanting to be shown some kind of affection? I've been relating to the song Grenade, Marry Me and Cold as you quite a bit. It sucks when you feel like you really care about someone but you realize they don't feel the same way. And you start to wonder why.

Thats where I'm at. Why not me. Why can't I be the one to make you happy. I don't get it, probably never will, but it sucks.

songs of the day: Grenade by Bruno Mars and Cold As You by Taylor Swift

quotes of the day (all from the songs meantioned above):

"Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you"

- This song is exactly how I feel, T.Swift took the words out of my heart and put them in a song. Its called Cold As You.

"I'd catch a grenade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on the blade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'd jump in front of a train for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
You know I'd do anything for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same"

- Grenade by Bruno Mars, it speaks for itself