I have been thinking about this update for quite some time. This blog is really going to help move me forward in my self growth. I picked a terrible time to start this, but I'm glad I did. I am sitting in Budig 120 (the biggest lecture hall at the University of Kansas) starting my Biology 152 class. I'm stopping now to finish this at a better time.
I actually stopped and continued on Day 22 of 365. I still haven't been blogging as much as I would like to, but I have been contemplating and deciding what direction I would like to take my life in. Here's a quick update.
Mind
Lately I just want to be alone. I think Christmas break was overwhelming for me. I was around people all the time. At one point there were seven people living in my home. There was constant conversation, activity, arguments, make ups. The usual. It just got to be too much. For a month and a half, I didn't have my own room. I had no way to be alone, and I really really missed me time. I'm enjoying its return and working on spending more quality time with myself. Backing away from Greek Life is my first step in this particular journey.Body
I have made slow but steady progress on dieting and exercising. I was better at the exercise portion than I was at the dieting portion. I was going to the gym every day for about ten days. I've had more than a few cheat days since then, but plan on going to the gym three more times this week to achieve up for my 4 days a week goal. I also started tracking what I eat on my Lose It! app. Although I go over the calorie count more often than I don't ,at least I'm getting better at recognizing which foods in my diet were the worst for me and learning to make more balanced meals. I'm also reading Khloe Kardashian's book : Strong Looks Better Naked. The book is where I got the mind, body, spirit model for today's blog. Her height loss journey was super successful, so I'm excited to get some tips from her. Losing ten pounds by June is still achievable. I will reach my goal this time.Spirit
My spirit has had good days and bad days lately. I truly feel closer to the Lord and have been dipping into his word more. The verse that I've been dwelling on is Philippians 4:6 , "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God". I like to think of it as worry about nothing; pray about everything. I have been lifting every little thing up to the lord and having honest conversations with him. I know he hears me and he's slowly helping me understand the things that need to change in my life. I want to spend more time with my family. The unconditional love they provide is something that's hard to find anywhere else. I feel like my little brother needs me, and I have to find a way to reach out to him and motivate him. All toxic people have to be removed from my life. There are some friendships that add more stress than joy, and I'm not here for it anymore. I want to put more time into rewarding friendships. Part of why I love for a relationship so much is because I feel like I need a stable, positive person in my life. Someone that's always there to listen to my complaints, hold me, wipe my tears, and remind me that it's all going to be okay. There's no one in my life ready to hear about everything or who understands every aspect of me and that needs to change. I haven't figured out how, but the last thing I want to do is open up to the wrong people.Love
I went on my first real date on 1/15/2016 and it was wonderful. I met a man on tinder and my heart is warmed just thinking about him. He's a sweetheart. He showed up early, opened the door for me, kept a comfortable, and gave our leftovers to a homeless person. Our conversation flowed pretty effortlessly throughout the night, and I loved that he was willing to share the things about his family. He made me laugh until I cry with the stories about his brother in law. That was the moment i'll remember more than the other things. He paid! My gentlemen alert went off. I left really happy, and we are supposed to go on another date tonight. We'll see how this goes. I really like him, but he's currently applying to a job three hours away. If we were meant to be, the distance won't stop us from growing our relationship. I'm quite smitten with this man.I also met a man at the club the week after NYE. It was at Tonic, and I wanted to be brave enough to walk up to someone to prove to my friend that she could do it too. There was a cute guy, so I approached him and we spoke. We were able to exchange numbers and he wanted to hang out after meeting. My friend told me that that meant he only wanted to have sex and it was past 2 a.m. , so I said no. A couple days later I decided to text him again, and we've been texting pretty regularly ever since. Our first date was in Topeka. We went to see Ride Along 2. He was late, but I won't hold that against him. The whole thing was pretty natural. We talked about a lot of surface level things in person, but had already texted about what we were looking for. We haven't spoken about meeting up again since that night. Hopefully it comes up and I get to see him again. We had chemistry. He's also in the military and gets deployed in April. These are the things I don't dwell on but should. They are imperfect, but part of the perfect picture of what we would/could be.
Maybe the stable, positive person I need in my life right now could be found in one of them. Once again, we'll just have to see.
Stay blessed, beautiful, and hopeful about what is to come.
With Love,
MA
Song of the Day : When We Were Young by Adele
Quote of the Day : "The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to learn or rely on, or blame. The gift is yours- it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins" -Bob Moawad
