"If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change"

Happy New Year to the wonderful people all around the world that read this blog. We're only nine days into 2014, but it feels like New Years was a lifetime ago. I rung in 2014 at an event called Ass Jamz. I know what you faithful readers are thinking, this is about to be Club Magic 2.0. Well, it wasn't. The place was packed with people my age. I live in a small town, so I recognized most of them. There was a countdown on the big screen and plenty of songs I love. I forgot what the first song I heard in 2014 was, but the second song was Bugatti by Future. I came home at a reasonable hour and thanked God for being young an alive.

The time has come for New Years resolutions. This year I cheated and started thinking them up before Christmas. When I was first thinking of them, the song Make Me Broken by Sidewalk profits was playing. The words are, "Make me lonely, so I can be yours. 'Til I want no one more that you, Lord. Cause in the darkness I know you will hold me. Make me lonely/ 'Til you are my one desire/ 'Till you are my one true love/ 'Til you are my breath, my everything. Lord please keep making me". The first thought that popped in my head when I heard the song is "what a scary prayer". The verses start with make me lonely, broken, empty, etc. I don't feel strong enough to endure any of those emotions. Then I realized that that's the point. The lord is my strength. I can endure anything. So my first and most important resolution is

1. To trust the lord without borders or hesitation. To grow stronger in my faith, bury myself in the word, and follow the teachings of my faith to the best of my ability.

Number Two kind of goes with number one :

2. To let go and let be. My problem of worrying about things that I cannot control continued in 2013. This year I want to be freed from the chains of worry and anxiety, and live a fuller life. Having more trust that God will lead me to where I need to be will help be more free spirited and less of a worrier.

3. Social fearlessness. When Taylor Swift came out with the fearless album, my young teenage self had life changing moment after life changing moment. I made it my mission to strive to be in my best dress, fearless. I feel like I've achieved it in some aspects of my life, but I'm still scared when it comes to social situations and meeting new people. I want this to be the year it changes.

4.  To give my advice, point of view, and perspective without being judgmental. This year when people did something I didn't agree with or felt was wrong (making out with randoms, staying out too late, hanging out with a stranger at 4 am etc.) I either acted like it was okay or went in full on lecture mode. I want to be a person people can come to with their issues without feeling guilty, but I also want to be loving enough to tell them when their making a mistake. There are too many lives lost due to stupid, "fun" mistakes. I would hate to lose someone I care about because they were scared to come to me, or I was scared to tell them the truth. Basically I want to find a balance.

5. Moving the energy I put into pursuing and crushing on men into bettering myself physically, emotionally, and mentally. I'm a twatcher. I waste a lot of time reading the tweets of different boys I have interest in. I put a lot of time curling my hair and looking cute when I know I'll see someone that I'm into. There's nothing wrong with either of these things, but I've realized the guys that I have interest in are already perfect (through my eyes). I should put my energy into bettering myself, so that they can see the same light in me that I do in them. Different approach.

6. Expressing positive feelings more and providing words of encouragement to those close to me. We live in a society with so many depressed, insecure people. When someone has cute shoes, I'm going to tell them. If they're putting in positive imput, I want them to know that. If I can play a role in helping others know their worth, I would like to do it. Drake has a line that says "I think the city that we're from just kind of ruined things. Such a small place not much to do but talk and listen. The men are jealous and the women all in competition". That describes my home situation. It doesn't have to be a competition. Girls should empower each other instead of bring each other down all the time. And you know what they say, be the change you wish to see in the world.

7. Less selfishness. Loving yourself is easy. Loving others is hard. (No explanation needed)

8. Lose as much weight as possible. No need to put a number out there that's too far out there to achieve or will limit myself. I want to look GOOD, and be healthy I guess... haha. No, it really is to be a healthier person.

These are the eight goals I've set for myself. Will I achieve them all? Not worrying about it. I will with Gods help. I don't see not achieving them as failures. I think of New Years resolutions as a step in the right direction. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself. And with that, goodbye for now.