"On a Wednesday, In a Cafe. I watched it begin again.."

Monday was the first day of school. I may be in college, but I still get excited about the first day. I went shopping about a week before and got a couple possibilities and felt pretty confident with my choice. I wore jean capris with a blue and brown top that had short sleeves with a little cutout in them. I felt cute, confident, and five pounds lighter then I actually am. woohoo! Once I got to school there was a moment of panic. The University of Kansas is a school with 24,577 people. Being 1 out of that amount, you feel a little small.
Especially after a long summer of being in an empty town where you could be on your own until the sidewalk ends. I walked into my first class of the day with 648 people in it. It was a little overwhelming. The good news is today is Wednesday, and I'm already back in the swing of things. It doesn't seem quite so intimidating anymore.

The classes I'm taking this semester are :

Organic Chemistry + the lab
Microbiology + the lab
Advanced Kiswahili  (class of 2. Me and another person of African decent)
West African History and Civilization

The labs were boring, but my lectures were actually not too bad. The two electives of course were the most exciting. The West African History professor is such a joy. He's an older man about to retire next year. He has a such a passion for West Africa. It's honestly not something I've ever seen before. He isn't from Africa, but he has an undeniable passion for the country. For those who don't know, I'm East African and both places are very different. I know nothing about West Africa except the people from there braid really tight and at some point liked big girls (i.e. the movie Phat Girls). A west African girl in my class raised her hand and asked him how he became so interested. He said "In my youth, I faught in Vietnam. My sister told me to run away to Canada, but I didn't have a penny to my name. I fought a war that I didn't believe that and lost faith in my country again. I went to Ghana and fell in love with it there. Never looked back". She said, "Wow. Normally no one cares.." it was said with the sweetest sadness. It's true. Most people don't care about Africa. They care about starving children in Somalia, the world cup, and animals, but n one realizes that there's so much more to the country then that. Even me at times. I have a geeked out excitement for this class. If it stays this interesting, there will definitely be more updates.

I'm contemplating joining a sorority. I know this seems weird, because I'm in the type of friend group that dumps on sororities all the time. A lot of people consider it buying friends or just silly. I personally do get tired of seeing all the pictures of people holding up their little triangle signs or whatever on my facebook timeline. The sorority I'm considering is much different from those. That's a traditionally black sorority. The girls in it seem fairly friendly. I don't really know if I can afford it or if I'd even like it once I joined. It's a for life type of commitment, so we'll see where it goes. I'm not much of a risk taker, so it probably won't go anywhere.

I also joined the Black Student Union. The first meeting was actually pretty nice. I didn't really stay to chat or meet anyone, but it seemed like a pretty great bunch of people. I enjoyed the meeting and don't plan on quitting.

Hope all of your first week were as interesting as mine, and those of you who are done with school and just working. I'm sorry. Work is hard, and I feel your pain. This email is coming to you from my un-air conditioned cubical at work. Yes, it's over 90 degrees outside.

Song of the day: Just Hold On We're Going Home - Drake

Quote of the day :
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." - Martin Luther King Jr. (50 years since he delivered his I Have A Dream speech today. His contributions to society are immeasurable. God rest his soul.)

"Losing him was blue like I've never known, missing him was dark grey all alone, forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met. But loving him was red".

On Saturday, August 3rd I experienced amazement. Something absolutely wonderful. This wonder is known as The Red Tour and stars Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, and Florida Georgia Line. Every second of it was everything I wanted it to be and more. We initially had these terrible seats in the 200 section. As a frequent concert goer, I can no longer stand seats way up there. I know that makes me a total stuck up person, but it's just not the same. I like to see my performer with my own eyes, and to feel the beat of the drum not shake from the sound of the speakers. Being up close and personal is the best & only way to fully experience a concert.

As a frequent concert goer, I can also say with confidence that the Red Tour was above and beyond what most tours are. There were flying drummers, confetti, indoor fireworks, costumes (in the literal sense of the word), several different stage arrangements, and three different stages in general. Taylor Swift is one of the only performers of her stature who's willing to crowd surf and get up close and personal with her fans. She has fun! That's so rare. To see someone on stage having that fabulous of a time, and that in awe of her own fame. If it's acting, then I fell for it. She seemed genuinely excited to be there the entire time and just shocked by all the love she was getting. She sold out two back to back shows at the sprint center in minutes! Very few artists can do that.

So I've told you about all the magic. I left the arena absolutely wonderstruck. Can you believe that some people left without the slightest spark of excitement? It made me realize that a majority of Americans have lost their wonder. They are given so much that they can't truly appreciate when something is truly fantastic. There were many little girls at the concert. Seeing all those little ones made me think of my nieces. I've been communicating with them more frequently lately which makes them for lack of a better word more real. In Khaled Hosseni's new book And The Mountains Echoed, he has a character that goes back to his homeland somewhere in the middle east. He meets this very sick girl who needed his help. Originally her pain was always on his mind. He wanted to do everything he could to help her. But as he stayed in America, he slowly began to forget the intensity of her struggles and the ones that many others face in that area. After going back to Africa this summer, I see how that is.

At first you're just so into trying to do anything you can to help the people there. Then you fall back into this haze where spending $40 on a manicure seems reasonable even though most people don't even have $40 to spend the entire month in other countries. Anyways, as I was seeing those little girls singing along to Taylor Swift, holding up their signs that she's never going to see, and being surrounded my indoor fireworks and confetti. I thought of my little nieces and how they will probably never get to experience anything like that. Never. They'll never get to experience a clean public bathroom let alone an arena that holds thousands of people with fireworks and a stage, and any of that.

So when you're sitting in an arena experiencing the magic that is this life we live, you should do everything in your power to appreciate it. Simply breathing is a blessing, but getting to live a life of such privelage like many in this country get to do makes me grateful beyond measure. I feel like I'm the only one who realizes this. This is why I'm bubbling with excitement at every moment. Why I strive to feel alive. I'm Alive by Celine Dion is my jam. When I hear it, I dance. Why shouldn't I dance? With all the blessings in my life, I have no right to go through my day to day life without appreciation for anything and everything. Those red moments are everything.

Song of the day : Red by Taylor Swift

Quote of the day: "Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year"

"What's real is something that the eyes can't see, what the hands can't touch, what them broads can't be, and that's you"

All summer I've spent two hours every Monday night watching Desiree find love on The Bachelorette. I fell in love with the concept of this show last fall, so this was the first time I got to see it reversed. She dates 25 men in an eight week period. What I loved about this season was that it wasn't easy. On Sean's season of the bachelor, he had 25 women who were absolutely in love with him and acted perfectly. Even the goodbyes were just the right amount of tears. Just enough that the mascara didn't smear. But I've learned in the past couple months that life isn't like that. If you're really living, Mascara will smear and your heart will break. You'll cry, you'll hurt. It's the tears and the pain you go through that prepare you for the joy to come. If it wasn't for the heartache and long nights, you don't realize just how wonderful your day to day life is. Desiree spent seven of the eight weeks in love with this guy Brooks. There's nothing wrong with Brooks aside from his old man hipster status. He just wasn't my type. We all watched desiree fall deeper and deeper in love with Brooks, and Brooks have little to no feelings for her. She couldn't see it!

I've been delusioned by blind optimism before, so I was especially interested if she would be able to let go of her fantasy in order to appreciate the wonderful man that was right in front of her. Chris was the best choice. The best choice is never the perfect one. We live in a world that strives for nothing less then perfection. The plus side to this is that we're hard workers and do everything we can to be the best we can be. The downside of this is that no one can achieve perfection. Everyone has some kind of flaw weather it be big or small. So you make the most of what you having with what you can be and the courage within. 

Our society encourages us to be the best version of ourselves. Lately I've been seeing that as encouraging each other to put concealer on the zits that are our imperfections. We're encouraged to lie to ourselves and the public about certain flaws, but pretending their not there does noting to make them disappear. Being yourself should never be a struggle or something you have to work towards. The best version of yourself is you just the way you are. If people don't happen to see the good in the person you are, then they're the ones with the flaws not you. 

Back to Chris. Chris is tall, athletic, and handsome. He's also pretty corky. A simple dresser. Sweet personality. Close with his family. He writes cheesy poems to express his feelings, and he gets excited about everything. In the words of J. Cole, he's the crooked smile guy. Originally, Desiree wasn't able to see the beauty in the crooked smile. But when she finally did she realized it was much greater then the ten years of braces smile. The imperfections built character and allowed it to be easier to see what was within. That's what's most important anyways right? Congratulations to the happy couple and I wish nothing but the best or them. 

I hope that I can someday find someone with all the right imperfections, and I'm smart enough to look past the little things into the person as they are. Not the best version of them, but what is. t

song of the day: Crooked Smile by J. Cole

quote of the day: 

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” - Marilyn Monroe