"It's Got Mountains; It's Got Rivers; It's Got Sights That Give You Shivers, but it sure would be prettier with you"

Having family in another country is a really difficult thing. Maybe those of you with family in different states feel the same way, but it can't be that bad. As I've mentioned multiple times this summer in this blog, I have family literally everywhere. Those who are in different states here in the U.S. I've been closer to, because every few years I get to see them and be with them. The reconnecting happens. With my family that lives in Great Brittan or Africa, it had been 9 years since I had seen most of them. The recent passing of my cousin was an overall difficult experience. She made me realize (among many other things) that blood is much thicker then water. I really hurt for her and still am hurting for her. The song If I Die Young found itself to me, and it makes me think of her. That and When I'm gone. Through all of what happened though, I couldn't help but wonder if she would of felt bad if things were reversed.

I loved my cousin, but like most of my other foreign cousins it's not like we really spent lots of hours having long conversations. I couldn't tell you her favorite color, or what her first day of high school was like. Since we normally see each other for a 3 or four week period at most you never really get close enough to talk about the really juicy stuff. But after her passing, I just felt a much stronger connection to the cousins that I have left. But my stronger connection made me realize that it may be one way. I don't think they really feel it that much. The ones in Africa are each others best friends. We have such a big family that it really isn't necessary to have friends outside our little family circle. There are boys and girls for each age group and they all love each other like brothers and sisters. It's stuff like that I wish I could be a part of. I do have some cousins that are best friends here in the U.S. , but there's only like two of us at a time. It's not the same.

My cousin who passed away and her little sister were always the relatives that showed me the most love. From when I was a little girl to just last year, they always cared for me. The younger one is closer to my age, so in the past we had a lot of good times together. This time...I didn't see her. She didn't really come visit me and we didn't reconnect until the wedding happened. None of my cousins came to visit me. I can't blame them. They don't know me. We're strangers. The one I give the most credit too is my little niece. I love that little girl. She's 13 and would come visit me or want to hang out all the time. She would tell me about her dreams and what she wants to be when she grows up. How much her brother annoyed her. All the regular teenage girl stuff, and I loved being able to be an aunt to her. Unfortunately, it's hard to keep the connection as strong when someone's so far away. If I see cute dresses in her size and I have the cash, I always try and get one to send to her. She texted me recently as sweet as ever and that made me day, but it also made me sad. It could be another 10 years before I see her. I was already so surprised at how grown up she was. Imagine how she'll be after 10 years?

From the way I'm talking you can see that I'm ripped in half. Part of me feels like a connection with my relatives is impossible, because I'm so far away. I went all the way over there and most of them showed no interest in me..so that settles it? Right? Wrong. Because I do love them. It terrifies me that one day I'll get have children and they won't know their relatives or any of my family members. Then generations will come and it'll be like we don't even have any family far away anymore. I'm starting to think thats the unfortunate fate, but we'll see what happens.

song of the day : When I'm Gone (cup song) by Pitch Perfect

quote of the day : “You don't know how much you really miss someone until you see them again.” - Steven Monaco

"Father, help us. Send some guidence from above. Cause people got they got me questioning. Where is the Love?"

Hello everyone,
Guess what? Oprah changed my life again. I have to give you a little bit of Me and Oprah history. Growing up, every day at 4:00 we had Oprah on. It didn't matter what she was talking about or who she was interviewing. There was always something to learn. Well now, there's OWN network as most of you probably know. You don't even have to wait until four, because she's on all day! I know...I know, I'm a desperate soap opera watching housewife in the making, but you really do learn a lot. I recently had the opportunity to watch her Dark Skin documentary. It taught me a lot of stuff I didn't already know which probably sounds funny seeing as I'm a dark skinned person.

I have one of the weirdest ,most unique families ever. I wouldn't trade it for the world though, because its been a blessing and helped form the way I view life. In my family there are Tanzanian, Kenyan, Australian, German, British, French, and Sweedish citizens. And I'm not telling the story we've all heard many times about I'm 1/10006th this or that. All of my family originates from Zanzibar, but they're all over the world now and have married all kinds of people in those locations. We have dark skin people, mixed people, white people, black people, christian people, muslim people, and a jewish person. Every single one of them is beautiful. I'm not just saying this, because of the new trend. It's true. We're all as different as people can be, but we're a family and it works. Its all love. Growing up in that kind of environment, I see people not traits. Not everyone was lucky enough to have that opportunity.

The light skin vs. dark skin war was probably around even before the blond vs. brunette war. Unfortunately, instead of disappearing with time it's growing. They claim this battle stemmed from slavery, and there is some truth in that. But it's all over the world, even in places where there was never slavery. Back in the days when slavery existed in the United States, lighter skinned people were chosen to work better jobs with more interaction, because they looked more Caucasian. What started as one persons opinion soon became the life, truth, and way. The issues of years ago affected a gorgeous little eight year old girl today. She was featured on the special. She didn't believe she was pretty and at such a young age she hated herself. She felt that she was treated differently because of the way she looked. Not by people different from her this time, but by her own people.

This little girl wasn't the only one featured in the documentary. They "ironically" found some darker toned people and asked them what kind of girls they prefer. There were no tricks or judgment. It was a resounding chorus of light skin. To the defense of three of the men, they did say it's the heart and personality that matters. The rest of them must have forgotten to look at the woman who gave birth to him, and the reflection seen every day in the mirror because they were screaming chants of "what I look like is ugly". They didn't see it though. That was the funny part. They just kept talking about how bad people with dark skin are without realizing they're a part of the very thing they were making fun of. They say ignorance is bliss. Sometimes I think so. Maybe these men walk a little taller by ignoring who they are and where they come from, but that very type of thinking made that poor little girl shrink inside.

The documentary talked about how people in other countries lighten their skin using chemicals. That one hit home. I told you I have every type of person in my family right? Well we have skin lighteners too. It's only a couple people. An image of poor MJ (may he rest in peace) probably popped up, but it's not like that. It literally lightens you to whatever shade you're looking for. A lot of them turn out a very light brown. About Kim Kardashian's shade. I can't tell you if it happens all over your body cause I've never seen them naked or anything, but they've done it. Do they look like Goddesses's after? I wouldn't say so. They look beautiful, but they always were. Same features, same everything. Just a different color. I know some of you may be judging them right this minute. Accusing them of betraying their race or just being plain stupid. But can you blame them? This isn't the only form of transoformation around. Thousands in asian countries get plastic surgery every year to have eyes that look more like that have "the look". We live in a society that idolizes light skin. Barbie is one of the first tastes of femininity a little girl gets. What does barbie look like? Blond hair, blue eyed. It makes sense for her to look that way in America. That's what a majority of people look like. But Barbie is everywhere, and for a majority of the world she doesn't look like them. That's a whole different story in itself.

At the end they talked about just how deep the problem goes. What do we wear to funerals? Dark colors. Everything bad in society has a dark connotation.That's not something that could change over night. Oprah's goal in this special was to start the conversation that's been underground. Her talking about it made me notice it even more in some recent instagram photos. I thought I'd share them with you.

The top picture is hating on the girl who has extensions, and the bottom picture is them making fun of the girl that doesn't have extensions. Don't even get me started on the whole "bitches be like" thing. We live in in a society that makes in incredibly okay to degrade people. Women, people of color, the less fortunate. Everything's a joke. Well this rant is over. I hope it opened your eyes in the way it opened mine. I can only hope and pray that my future daughters won't have to go through what that little girl in the documentary is going through. Maybe Martin Luther Kings dream will finally 100% come true. Someday..


 Song of the day : I have a Dream by Common (Freedom Writers soundtrack)

Quote of the day : "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."