4/1/01

Ok so I have some big news for you guys. I know you'll all be really excited but I promised him i'd keep it a secret but I just cant hold it in anymore. Guess who i've been secretly dating for two weeks (yes, one of the weeks was an affair....), Me and JD are an item, non-exclusive for now. AHHH! Amazing huh? Too bad its not true. April Fools readers! That goes for the date as well. The sad thing is thats the only april fools joke i've told all day. I got pranked once today, by my computer application teachers. I walk into class and realize my mouse didn't work, and after a minute of confusion I figured out that my mouse works on Marina who was sitting next to me's screen. It was so cool! But eventually I figured out all we had to do was untangle them and go back to normal. It was a funny was to start class though. Any cool April Fools jokes happen to you readers? (notice I'm trying to be more interactive. yay me! )

The weather has been amazing here in lawrence kansas! I'm in love with it. We've have 80 degree weather two days in a row. Yesterday I brought out the skirt, and today I was able to wear a tank top and my Capri's again!! Its been a long, cold winter and thank god its over! Did anyone see googles home page today? It said Topeka. No it was not just an april fools joke but Topeka, Kansas changed their name to google for a couple day to promote this testing of some new super high speed internet. So google returned the favor by changing their name to topeka for a couple days. Look it up its no joke.

So something cheered me up today. Today I had an okay lunch with my friends. Thank god it wasn't dead silent like yesterday's. The lunch was nasty and I didn't realize it till I got to the table and thank god somebody ate it so the food didn't go to waste (not that it would have gone to the starving anyways). Anyways after lunch me and my friends (Taz, Akira, and Olivia) headed for the ledge only to find out it was taken. Some people just don't understand that I called the ledge like the very first week of school. Its also my fire saftey plan. If the school lights on fire, i'll break the window, go through the ledge, and land in the grass. then run for my life. But this is the me with super strength.

Anyways back to the good part of the story. So I left the ledge and went to stand over by the area that overlooks the cafateria with my girls. We were just blabbing about stupid stuff you know. Then I turn around and there is JD, I sensed him behind me but I thought he didn't see me. When I turn back around Olivia goes "he was just looking at your legs". And I was like "Really?!?!?!?" and she goes "yeah for the longest time, I was like just take a picture already it will last longer " :) AHH! he noticed me. And he noticed that I had nice, pretty, shaved, and lotion'd legs today (as always!) I know what at least one of you is thinking. Bad, Bad, Bad but It totally made my life. The guy that I check out was checking me out! :)Then at the end of the school day I saw him from afar and he also saw me. So I attempted to cutley walk then when I get closer to him he pretends (?) to look another direction so I walk by him then turn around for one last glance and he is looking my way too! With hope he watched me walk out of the school and missed my almost trip. haha.

So guess what tomorrow is? THE TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT!!! I am soooo excited. I know Akira and I are going to have a good time! I'll give you all the details saturday.

song of the day: Love story - Taylor Swift

Quote of the day:If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with. - Michael jackson
Let us dream of tomorrow where we can truly love from the soul, and know love as the ultimate truth at the heart of all creation. - Michael Jackson

3/31/10

Hey everyone! Today we're gonna talk about one of my favorite topics. Love... its all around you (I hope, and if its not i'm giving you a virtual hug as we speak)! Ok for those of you are looking for love, what do you look for? You know the saying guys marry their mothers, and girl marry their fathers (not insest but people simila rto them). I'm starting to believe it a little. You know how? I was on twitter yesturday as always, but Rob Kardashian proved me right. A trending topic was #mygirlis. And guys were answering that question. And Rob Kardashians says a lot of stuff and i'll post it here.
"#MyWoman needs to put God first!
#MyWoman needs to know I would Never cheat on her bc she is My Woman!
#MyWoman needs to have that caramel complexion... :)
#MyWoman needs to have that mani/pedi done right!
#MyWoman needs to dress fly... Not only high fashion but the sweats and some fly sneakers too...
#MyWoman needs to be able to teach me things and take care of me. Pretty much be my "Mama" :)
#MyWoman needs to be able to cook!"

So the above is what Rob Kardashian wants in a woman. You know who this sounds like. Well from what I see on the reality show, All these things are a combanation of his mom and his sisters. Caramel complexion (all his family except for his younger sisters & that means i'm out :( ). He said that she needs to have a mani/pedi all the time (ALL His sisters, his mom, and even his step dad get pani, pedi's). High fashion clothes, his whol family. And he says he wants her to be his "mama (I tink its adorable when guys call their girls that, because the love a person has for their mom is so great that when they compare that to you, it shows how much they love you). Anyways, Rob Kardashian is living proof that men marry their mothers.

Off the subject of love the Tyra show has inspired me to blog yet again! Today Tyras show was about the last living form of predjudice that isen't frowned upon. Have any idea what it is? Discrimination that happens everyday? Its discrimination against "Fat" people. Now it may seem like the word discrimination is taking it too far, but its really not. People above the magic number, which tyra told us was a size 12 in the model community makes you fat according to most of america. She personally dosen't believe that. The whole point of her covering the topic is to show people that there is beauty in all sizes. Tyra knows what it feels like to be called fat. In season two of the show remember she told the tabloids to "kiss [her] fat ass". She lost the weight, but she knows how it feels and wants to show people that it hurts. Especially other girls, because you don't see a bunch of guys calling a girl fat. So girls lets support our sistas, and don't be so mean. No body wants to be big,trust me I know, and it hurts when people use awful, impolite words to describe a person. weather 300 or 500 pounds they have feelings too. Remember that.

Song of the day: Our song - Taylor Swift

quote of the day: be the change you wish to see in the world - ghandi

3/30/10

Hello readers. Today i'm going to talk about a certain type of person. We all know one of these people. Maybe more than one. You know, the girl (yes its normally a girl) whos wearing the designer clothes, with the perfect curled hair, shoes fresh out off the machine and is complaining about how ugly she is, or how she "dosen't even try". People like this tick me off a lot. The person i've noticed does it more than anyone else isen't a friend of mine, but is a girl who is in 3 of my classes. She has the perfect hair every day and she always brings up how she "hates her hair and it looks so bad", so that people can say, "NO! your hair is sooo pretty". And when this comes up she can bring up the fact that she a nice person by saying "I'm growing it out for locks of love", which is an organization that makes wigs for cancer patients. I'm not saying I don't think its the most wondeful thing to do and a good cause to donate too, but that dosen't mean she has to tell everyone she knows. Am I just weird or do you all think its kind of pathetic to fish for complements? just keeping it real.

Did I ever tell you guys I over examine things? Thats just a part of me, and I hate it and love it sometimes. There are some things I don't over examine that I should. Like homework for instance, that is not over examined. I think its because i'm confident with that. But the system I used for homework is : Pen is i'm definate about the answer, pencil: if i'm not for sure, and cursive when I get bored. Thank god its not the 60s and teachers can't express their annoyance with it. Same with my doodling on teh side of the paper. I have my special doodles for ever class. Is that weird (there I go examining). I totally didn't mean to do taht by the way. But back to over examining. A couple days I over examined something again and I swear someone above, or some weird "law of science" made something happen. It wasen't the biggest of deals but i'm still examining it. It was pretty big to me, because of what I felt. Idk......Sometimes I wish you guys could just be in me and feel things the right way. I try to say it in words but this isen't working. Just know through examining I got in a position where I was extatic and sad at the same time.

Do any of you believe in star signs and horescopes?? A wise one once told me that it was all a load of crap. But I always wonder if maybe horescopes are a way for the big guy up there to lead you in the right direction without you noticing it. I used to check my horescope every day, BUT I quit because I just don't have enough time in the day. But before a big day in my life, or before I want to take a risk I read my horescope and see where it will lead me. Yesturday I was reading mine to try out the diffrent things my itouch can do, and my facebook basically spoke to me about JD. It wasen't what I wanted to hear because I am trying to stay away from whats bad for me. But my horescope was like "there will soon be a guy in your life. He just recently broke up with his girlfriend and you need to give him some space but eventually he will come to you. blah blah blah". I wonder if it will be right. Maybe i'll get tired of waiting for a prince charming and go for something else but most likley not. I will try and be a good pure girl and stay single so I can keep out of trouble as I should. But sometimes I can't control the hormones that are like Boys, boys, boys all the time.

This whole blog must be really confusing to all of you. I'm sorry...

song of the day: I'm only me when i'm with you - Taylor Swift

Quote of the day: All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time. - Julie Andrews

Newflash of the day: Stephine Meyer is writing a new book related to twilight! Awesome huh? Unfortunetly its not the continuation of Midnight sun which was fantastic but its a book that describes the events of Eclipse from the perspective of bree that young vampire and its going to be free online for a couple days or something. When I find more information i'll let you know.

And a shout out to my cousin, HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY BILL! DON'T GO OUT AND BY PORN AND CIGARATES POR FAVOR! :)

The day after...

Hello Internet world! Hows it going? Well I had a shocker today. Well 2. One of them was an expected shocker. Well my dad left for the ship today....its pretty sad because I don't get to see him for 28 days. I've gotton so used to him being around all the time since he got his surgury its just weird for him to be gone. Its just me, my mama, and my brother now. I hope the days go by fast. At least I have something to look forward too this week. Taylor swift concert on friday :) ! Ok now shocker number two is yesturday I was on the computer and I don't know how it came up but I got this article about little wayne. It was about right before he went to jail he was on some show and sang his song every girl with his daughter and her friends (her friends including T.I.'s soon to be step daughter) on stage. Now when I first heard it I was like, aah so his dad loves woman. Thats nice you know empowering.

So I clicked on the song on my ipod, its the dirty version. Imagine how shocked I Was to find out the song lyrics were "I wish I could Fu** every girl in the world. That is nasty. Can you say STD's. The line that was a little more upsetting then the rest is when he says he "even wants a retards v-card". For those of you on planet mars v card is another word for virginity. Anyways, Weezy had no response to his daughter being on stage and made no apolagy. Thats what his baby mama's for, Toya came out and said that Weezy is a good father and he was only trying to make his little girl happy by letting her and her friends on stage. Being a loving father. I believe that, but for some reason it dosen't seem like hes a loving father when he never once showed up on teh reality show tiny and toya. Maybe he didn't want publisity but when I was talking on the phone the other day she said something memerable (as always), she said that children need a mother and a father and shes absolutly right.

For the record I don't have any kids, i'm just 15 years old, broke and with no plans to get a job so you shoulden't be suprised when I say i'm not looking for a baby right now. I want kids in the future though! And what i'm hoping is that those kids, will have a dad thats around. And i'll be around as well. Theres just diffrent things that you need both parents for you know? If any of you watch the reality show Kendra, she just had baby hank and you kind of see what each parent is for. When their both around not only is there lots of love but Kendra makes sure he gets cute little special ordered Colts outfits and a binkey that says "my mama's hott". Hank the third (father) points out things like how hanks "balls dropped" and kendra has no idea what he means by that on the show. His daddy is there for that kind of thing. Those are just examples but I think its best for a kid especially before their teenage years and when their young to have both parentals around.

My love life is kind of dead right now, i'm examining my feelings for ALL those people all over again, i'll let you know when i figure it out. But the quote seems to really explain it.

Song of the day: Make a wave - Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato. For those of you who are looking for an "adult song" try, Hey, Soul sister - Train (i'm still loving that song and it got to number one on itunes!

quote of the day: You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.

News update of the day: Ricky Martian has come out of the closet...

Listen to your heart

This is a pretty famous saying, Listen to your hear. Most people hear it I bet a thousand time throughout their life time. Most people believe that if you listen to your heart it wont let you down. I'm a believer in that, kind of. For starters I think the reason it dosen't work for some people is because their heart isen't really saying anything. And that means that the affection you think you have for some one is all in your head people. But I think when you really do feel strongly about someone it happens. I've felt it. Your heart starts beating really fast, almost as if theres something wrong. Then you feel this really high rush that makes you smile uncontrollably then without thinking you shut your brain off and you turn your heart on and it does as it pleases.

I have to say all the times i've let this happen in turned out ok. Its never had an awful resault where the guy was like "I hate you, your blah blah blah blah stay away from me". I mean even though a couple of them didn't feel that heart racing my heart was right about them being good guys because they were nice about it. Another thing that I do wrong is that I don't follow my own advice and I leave a part of my brain on. So while my hearts trying to do what it does best (besides keeping me alive ofcourse), My brain is saying "what if...", "what if...". Then the what ifs stop my heart with the help of cupid from taking it all the way. But one time my heart was in full power and in typed something out then my brain goes "noooooo you will not press send" so my hands back away and I swear the send button clicked itself and just went. And people ask for proof that god is there looking out for us! It happened!! It was freaky, but nice. I got a decent result. The problem with the results is that they make me REALLY happy and really confused at the same time. But someday my hearts going to sort it all out and tell me whats really happening.

So word for the wise, Turn your brain off and turn your heart on!!

song of the day: Listen to your heart - Roxette

quote of the day: Surrendering your head to your heart in those moments will lead you to balance and fulfillment - not me but some other genius on google

March 28th, 2010

Hello Everyone! Happy March 28th. At least I hope its a happy one for all of you. So what is march 28th??? March 28th is palm sunday! Yay for Palm sunday! What is palm sunday? Not only is it a trending topic on twitter but it is a christian and catholic holiday that begins holy week for us christian folks. We celebrate the fact that on this day many years ago Jesus arrived in jerusalem on a donkey, and when people saw him they took of their coats and ripped of palms from the trees to lay down on the ground as a sign of respect and because they loved him. Little did they know that when he entered the town he would reach many troubles and later be hung on the cross. I'll try and keep up some little holy week explanations, I know its not "politically correct" to talk about religion but hey I run this blog! the 28th is also something else special. You know this prince/A.A.A./my brown eyed boy/Mr. Right that you always hear about. Well today is that very nice guys birthday. So happy Birthday Prince charming! (Even though he'll never see it it was just a nice thing to use my power for. :)

Speaking of birthdays people celebrate them very diffrenly you know. The really big birthays in my head are 1, 10, 16, 18, 21, 50, 70, 80, and every age after you've passed 80 because its impressive that your still kickin. When I was younger all the way up to this year my birthday was something seriously big. Like I waited for my birthday, counted down days, begged for the perfect cake, and made birthday lists like months ahead, I also already knew what I would want to do like the year before. I think that may just be part of being a kid. But some people never feel that way. Like I have some friends who turned 16 and didnt think twice about it. It was nothing to them. So on peoples birthdays I always wonder what kind of person they are and what they choose to do on the big day. I wonder if prince is throwing a huge blowout with a ton of people trashing his house right now, or if its just another day of the week doing whatever it his he does on a daily basis. A couple days ago was lady gaga's birthday. I also wondered what she did for her big day. She is nuts after all. I KNOW she was doing something crazy and hanging out with the some insane people. haha.

Ok so I was listening to the song I need you now by lady antebellum. Have you ever heard it? Duh it was a number one hit for the longest time so if you havent you better look it up people. But in this one part of the song she says soemthing commmanly said. She says "its better to feel pain then nothing at all". I thought about those words in my head and just like when I do any other deep thinking I blog about it. I thought about in my life wheather it would be better to feel hurt or just in the in between stage. I am currently in that in between stage where i'm not "romantically linked" and I don't get any deep burning passionate feelings unless I watch gossip girl. Thats sucks huh?

And in a second if I could get a good guy to take me from nothing to something I would take it in a second. But I don't know if I would trade the nothing feelings for pain. I've been hurt before. I've cried and wondered what on earth I ever did to deserve feeling so low. But when I think about it if the pain is a result of having something so good and feeling true love then I would take it. So yes I agree with lady antebellum and if Mr. Right came to my door right now and offered me true love and true emotional pain I would accept it.

song of the day: My boo - Usher and Alicia Keys &&& Stevie Wonders happy birthday because thats one of my favorite versions of the song.

quote of the day: Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

Change

What exactly is change. The definition according to Merriam Websters dictionary is to make diffrent in some paticular. That makes no sense at all does it? Not to me and i'd like to think im good at words and comprehend english very well since i've been using it my whole life. its hard to describe the word change without using change in the sentence though. Heres what i've come up with. Change is when something becomes diffrent from what it normally is or what people are used too. Some people really like change and others aren't that way. I'm a person who isen't a fan of change. I like to fall into a routine and stick to it. Little changes aren't such a big deal to me, like practicing piano before homework or not going to bed at the same time. But the very noticable diffrences leave me empty.

For some reason in my mind the original way is always better. The way i've known all my life. Its hard to adjut and live in a completly diffrent way. I was the kid who cried the whole day on the first day of preschool. To the point where they had to call my dad and say they coulden't handle me. The second day I cried a little bit and the third day there was no tears because I had fallen into the routine. But if you had given me the choice at that age of going back to my day care instead of preschool I woul dahve totally jumped on the train and gone back to day care. Even though I was used to the preschool and had a fairly good time the original was was what I perfered.

Scientifically they say that this whole change thing is all psycological and is diffrent depending on age. Like with the place that people call home. Its always going to be the place that the person stayed between the ages of 11-14. It dosen't matter if they got raped there, or if they won Ms. Congilality thats the place they are going to call home. Which is true in my position. I was born in maryland and lived there for 5 years of my life but I don't call that home. In my mind Lawrence is my home and not the apartment I used to live in. My home is the house i'm typing this from and this happens to be where I lived from 11-14. As for my parents lawrence is not home at all. You can see how this plays out from facebook. I don't know if any of you are friends with people from the same family. I have like maybe 6 cases like that where im friends with diffrent people from one family. In a lot of the familys that have moved around they all have a diffrent place under hometown. Weird or what??

What are your views on change? I'm curious.....like curious george. But unlike the cat this curiosity won't kill me (I hope...)

song of the day: Change - Taylor swift (do you guys listen to these?)

quote of the day: All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.