"Your still the one I run to/The one that I belong too/ Your the only one that I love/The only one I dream of/Your still the one I kiss goodnight"

Hello readers! The song in the tittle today is by Shania Twain who is a really famous country singer that you've all had to have heard of. Even if your not a country fan her songs are everywhere. Especially weddings, and there is one song by her i've always loved but never knew the name too and thanks to american idol I figured out its called Your Still the One. You should all check it out...its pretty good :)So today I want to talk about love but more of tough love in paticular. I know that I'm always talking about the things that are good that come out life. Because a majority of the time when people are in love good things come out of it. Don't you agree? Well I have a really close friend thats in love but what shes getting out of it is nothing good. And she loves him so much that shes blinded by this.

Before I talk about my friend in paticular I'm going to talk about Latoya Jackson. Most people don't know who she is but Latoya is Michael Jacksons big sister. They were really close before she ended up forcfully marrying her ex-husband whom she thought she loved. This man didn't love her though. I mean I cant read his mind but if he loved her he had a funny way of showing it. He was a real bad guy and would make her stay in the closet all day. He made her write a book trash talking her family and go on interviews making her family look bad. And she did it out of love. I myself have never been in a situation like that but I feel like if I was in that situation I would know to leave. But some girls just aren't strong enough and if you know someone whos in a similar situation you've got to help them out.

My friend isn't being hit by this guy but shes not really being well loved by him either. Half of their relationship is make ups and break ups. Its never her fault and i'm not just saying that because shes my friend. Her boyfriend just always gets made for no reason. Hes got some serious anger managment issues and when he gets mad he'll use cuss words to talk to her and he'll quit talking to her and stuff. He'll just make her feel like crap. Its awful. I finally recently told her she should dump him because hes obviously not the right guy so shes wasting her time. The stupid part is she spends have her time apolagizing to him trying to get him to forgive her when she did absolutly nothing wrong. Something sound messed up about that to you? So my advice to you readers is if your man is nuts leave him. If theres more sadness then hapiness then its not worth it. Before you leave though, try to fully understand his views and give him a chance to see you. But if hes giving you the silent treatment like my friends boyfriend then forget him. Make him chase after you when he realizes he lost the best thing that ever happened. Thats my advice at least. And if he dosen't chase you it wasn't meant to be. This isn't the parent trap its life and thats just the way things go.

So Senior week continues on with a couple new shaved heads. Then when I arrived at school all over the sidewalk was seniors 2010 and millions of pictures of penis'. No joke. I wish I was kidding but someone drew like a ton of male parts all over the sidewalk in chalk and the poor janitor had a sponge in her hand trying to clean it all off. See why I think senior week is stupid? Did the world change because they drew a penis on the floor? Nope. Did it save a life? nope. Did they get caught on the camaras? Yup. I wonder whos not graduation....mwah mwah hahaha (evil laughter)

song of the day: Your Still the one - Shania Twain

quote of the day: If music be the food of love; play on - Its from romeo and juliet

"I am beautiful/ No matter what they say/ and words can't bring me down"-Sorry I Couldent think of a song that relates to the blog so I went with Glee

Hey blog and readers! How y'all doing? Yes for the record I live in kansas and I don't have a southern accent I just think saying y'all every once in awhile keeps life entertaining! My day went ok. It wasn't phenomenal but I had a decent time. Akira came over after school and we rode the bus home together and that was pretty fun. After that I went to piano lesson and that just flew by. I'm actually kind of enjoying the pieces I'm playing! I'm re-falling in love with the piano which is great! So school was intresting. Senior week struck. Last night the first three boys got their heads shaved.

One of them got shaved by his big brother and his brothers friends. His was inappeopriate. They shaved a penis on his head and he had to wear it like that for a whole day. One guy got his whole head shaved except for his bangs and two strands of hair that were supposed to be pigtails. He also had bangs and that looked hilarious. Then the last guy broke the rule and shaved off whatever image they left on his head. Yay for going against senior week! So now the drill is all the guys want to get shaved because it proves that they have senior friends. It's really crazy stuff. But it keeps school intresting I guess.

In spanish class we had a discussion that really sparked in my mind. It started with my spanish teacher discussing how this guy her sister knows lies to his wife and goes gambling once a year. He lies to his wife by buying a ton of stuff from home depo pretending to be fixing a shed or something then he returns all the equitment and uses it for gambling. He spends 500 dollars on the gambling every year. Are you freaking out? A lot of girls in my class did but I didn't. For starters I thought it was bad that his wife wouldn't give him permision to spend the money that he helped earn in a way that makes him happy. I would like to think that when I'm married my husband would let me spend 500 a year on things I like to do. That's only like 41.00 a month. That's not a lot, even for the middle class.

My spanish class also has a new intrest in golf because a guy in there is like the star of our golf team (yes freestate is good at every sport, even the old people ones). So Tiger woods comes up in discussion a lot. My spanish teacher was meantioning how Tiger Woods spends over a million dollars gambling on a game of golf. Then the guy who worships tiger woods says he owns this huge charity facility and blah blah blah. Which is true by the way, I saw it on cnn and he really helps people. But then the teacher said thats not enough he should be donating that money to charity. You know what I thought in my mind? Well charity is always a good thing but I dont see why celebrities get so much grief about charity when regular people donate virtually nothing to them. I understand that its diffrent but percentage wise. The average person donates like maybe 5 dollars every two months to charities they run into. That like 2% of their salary. Where as celebrities end up spending like 10%. And when you think about their jobs are harder then a lot of jobs us "Regular" people have. I think with how hard Tiger Woods works practicing golfing and really using his talent if he wants to blow a million dollars no one should stop him because once again its what he loves. Kim Kardashian probably spends the same amount on shoes. Don't hate people, jealousy dosen't look good on your face.

song of the day: Rock that Body - Black eyed peas

quote of the day: The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.
- Walt Disney

NEWFLASH OF THE DAY: This is really big and i'm excited to blog about it to you. So everyones been wondering...Where has Saundra Bullock been? Guess where? Guess where? Guess where?!?! Shes been with her newly adopted son Louis Bardo Bullock! :) She adopted a child originally trying to adopt him with Jesse James but she announced she divorced his cheating butt today. YAY! The baby is sooo cute. The baby looks either black or of Indian decent like not native american but from India. Check it out on people.com :)

"For all the times you stood by me/ For all the truth that you made me see/ For all the joy you brought to my life/ For every wrong that u made right

Dear blog readers!
The lyrics of the day are from the song because you loved me by Celine Dion. For starters let me say that latley I felt a little disconnected to you readers because Iw as worried abotu sounding pathetic. This is code for once again I was that insecure person that I hated being so I figure the only way to get a little confidence back is to throw her away. So you all know about the whole prince thing right? I mean I talk about him so much on her you probably know him like hes your own blood but anyways he opened this website. How do I know this? Because I read his facebook page like the bible. I said I was gonna start being honest right. Well theres your honest right there. I read it like the bible and like every little post is the key to my happiness and all the pathetic little girls on there are mine to demolish. Its kind of fun the truth. Maybe I have no lief. Anyways this isn't about my creepy stalker habits this is about how I was on facebook and saw his post about him having a website. For the first few hours I refused to click on him because I spent sunday trying to not like him anymore. It didn't work out so well. Anyways eventaully I really wanted to see waht it was like so I clicked on it.

I'm glad I did because it was really cool. It made me feel like my blog needs some kind of decorating because his website was tight. The little song he posted on there made me smile x100,000 because it was really good. I kind of listened to it maybe like 10 times. I liked it. It was my kind of song. Then he posted somethign about music and it made me think of myself. No i'm not selfish I just can relate to myself if that makes any sense. So he was writing a music which is kind of my love. I'm in a serious relationship with music right now and have been my whole life. I love music. Now on his little post he answered the question I never thought of . Why? he answered kind of why hes even doing the whole music thing. He didn't dissapoint. He said he wasen't doing it for money, which was a plus because true music lovers understand the money is a little bonus compared to the joy you feel making the music. He also said he wasen't doing it for money or "chicks" which made me smile. I smiled because I didn't think he needed any more help in the girl department. Hes doing pretty well on that according to facebook and my intuition. But it also proved him as a true artist.

Then lastly he said he wasen't trying to be anythign but himself. And I loved that. Its part of what inspired me to be so honest because why should I act like i'm feeling one thing when i'm really another. And the best news is he said it wasen't gonna be a "gangster" album. I totalyl woulden't have taken him seriously if he was talking about sleeping with girls and smoking in the ghetto, when I spent the last couple weeks writing about an 8 year old version of him. Anyways enough about that but I would totally buy this album. 30 bucks tops though, i'm a poor girl so that would be like giving you my 3 motnhs salary for 12 songs. but it woudl be worth it.

This is terrible. I actually had a subject of the day and I got totally off track. Geting back on track; at Freestate High School this week is senior week. What's senior week you ask? All the seniors in the school are allowed to pull a senior prank as long as it dosen't hurt anyone then outside of school the seniors basically make the sophmore and juniors life a living hell. Its really not so bad if your a girl but guys get their heads shaved all messed up and they have to keep it like that for a whole day. I really dont like the whole senior week thing and if anyone did anything to me I would tell. I suggest that you do the same thing because if you keep on acting like its ok for people to push you around or do as they want to you then later of in life your gonna be the person who lets your spouses abuse you and find no problem in abusing other people. So get on board this train and lets be against senior week together.

The last subject of the day is pertty cool. So as many of you know i'm trilingual. I am fluent in English and Swahilli and I also speak spanish. Now I Dont know what the real definition of fluent is but for me I know I'm fluent because I can have a full conversation with someone in both languages and I can think in both languages is that makes any sense. But i've noticed the language that I normally think in is english. And I also dream in english even though i know both. Is that weird? For those of you who speak multiple languages are you the same way?

song if the day: because you love me - celine dion

quote of the day: A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.
John Lennon

Random tidbit of information: I'm really excited for the movie letters to juliet to come out. It looks fab.

Blast from the past

Remember last week I began to tell you my story? I started with my first few memories. Well I decided i'm not really going to do this whole get to know me thing cronologically because thats just another part of me. I dont necessarily always do thing the way their supposed to be done. Sometimes I find shortcuts.

If you remember from last week I told you I was born in maryland. I lived in this tiny little apartment with my parenst and an assortment of other people. There were ALWAYS people in my house. We got guests from all over the world and various aunts and uncles were always living with us in this itty bitty two bedroom apartment. I can see the place now. It had a white door with two locks. One regular lock and then one of those locks you slide across the door. And then it had a whole in the door so yo ucan peek to see whos outside that I could never see out of. When you opened the door you were in the living room. We had these not so pretty beige couches lined up against the wall and this big brown entertaiment holder with the tv and vhs and sound system in it. Then from the living room you could see the whole home. There was a dinning room table placed against the wall and two bedrooms with a kitchen in between. It was home.

Back then I didn't realize that my home was small compared to how most of the middle class livied. I didn't really realize that it was odd that most of my neighbirs only spoke spanish. I was just a little girl and to me this was normal. Ever since I was a little i've enjoyed television. I've never been one of those channel flippers who can just watch anything. Even back then I had my shows. I would watch barney and teletubbies in the morning then aurther in the afternoon. I loved those shows and enjyoed them very much. I also used to watch this show about a girl who wore stipped pants and lived on a clock. I was a pbs all the way girl.

I was really gulible. My parents could convince me anything. For the first five years of my life I was convinced that the doctors told my parents I had to eat oatmeal every morning. Back then the doctor was like the police to me. I was scared of them because they gave shots. And everytime I would tell the doctor, " Be careful. I'm a little girl only 5 years old! Dont give me the big people shot please". Then the doctor would assure me it was the right shot but I would still cry and kick and scream like there was no tommorow. I had this video of kids from south africa singing that I would really enjoy. They sang some sogns in english and others in south african and I knew all the words to both. I would even do the litle movments. But that was jsut me.

So there you go, that was a blast from the past. more coming next week.

"Lets waste time chasing cars" - snow patrol & L.O.V.E.

Hey readers!
Your probably wondering what the title if the day has to do with my life. What it means is i'm done chasing boys and I am now chasing cars. A little red slugbug convertible could make me way happier then any of those boys. Same with the cute black Kim kardashian bently. It's adorable and was way more useful to her then Reggie ever was. Ok so maybe this concept is dumb and reality is i'm not getting a car but I do mean what I said about no more chasing after boys. So far this year I had really only chased after one boy. I did like others throught the year but both j.'s never got chased. I talked to them but it wasn't with the intentions of trying to get them to like me. I guess you can say I'm gonna wait to be chased. Even if that takes years.

Ok so the above paragraph was written in the morning right before I went to church. But after going to church I guess you could say I was healed or something. At church the subject of the day was love. When I heard this I was starring to get cranky because the last thing I wanted to hear about love when I was officialy done chasing boys. But I listened anyways and I was glad I did listen.

The first thing the paster did was take out a little action figure of the tinman from the wizard of oz. Everyone was confused at first about what the tin man had to do with love. The paster started talking about how in the wizard of oz the tin man was looking for a heart. He talked about how we all are like the Tinman and we build a suit of armor to protect ourselves from getting hurt. The suits are built from people teasing you, betrayal, dissapointment and many other things. We discussed how although we all think the suits are protecting us they're really hurting us and society. How is it hurting society? I'll get to that. For now back to love. I'm always talking about the saying men marry women like their mothers. You now why that is? Because you learn what love is from your parents. The amount of affection they show you and how your family expresses their love for you and each other. A long time ago a study was given back into the 60s and they came out with the theory that by "Babying your children with hugs and kisses you are harming them in the long run ". Recently they discovered that the theory is a bunch of crap.

Although the great Tina turner said"It's physical /Only logical/You must try to ignore /That it means more than that /Oh whats love got to do, got to do with it /
What's love but a second hand emotion / What's love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart / When a heart can be broken ". She was wrong. The latest study says that babies that aren't given the love and affection they need die and turn out psycologically messed up if they survive. A really great example is that Russian boy I talked about a few weeks back. His parents adopted him from russia which is really popular because a majority of caucassian people that adopt don't pull a Jolie-Pitt and they want Caucasian children. But that's not the discussion of the day. The children in those orphanages get virtually no affection. They get fed and changed but recieve no love and no kisses. Sad huh? Well that's the reason that Russian boy turned demented to the point where he didn't know how to love and that family didn't want him around. It's really sad.

Another study was done with monkeys. The guy running the monkey thing decided to take the baby monkeys away and birth and provide them with two things. A robatic monkey to feed the monkeys and a soft Terry cloth. During the expiriment the scientist observed that the monkey spent all it's time snuggling with the cloth for affection! This monkey had never seen this done but he felt he needed some kind of live. When the monkey grew up it was put with other monkeys and it didn't know what to do. The monkey spent all it's time alone and didn't mate to reproduce. This monkey didn't know how to love.

The monkeys are the same way humans are and a lot if people in our society don't know how to love anymore. There's so much mire hate then love. This is why the divorce rate in America is over 50%. They don't see their parents love and the result is they don't know how to love. So to the broken hearted this ones for you. Although it feels like love won't happen keep hope and it will. Learn to love . For the single mothers and fathers I know it's hard for you but no matter what kiss your children and fill them with love. If it's hard for you then do it so they know how to love. Do this for the future generations and although it's hard don't given up on love. Even when your hearts Bern stomped on, you've been turned into a joke, and it seems impossible love. Because without it the good is gone from the world.


song of the day: Whats love got to do with it - Tina Turner

Quote of the day: Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

Hey blog and blog readers!
I hope life is treating you all well. I want to go back and discuss the last blog which was a pretty serious one for me. I think I totally blew the whole thing out of proportion. Drama is my middle name after all. Not to give you the wrong impression. I really did feel that way at the time. I'm still hurt about the whole thing but I will not allow myself to loose hope because when your hope is gone you have nothing left and everyone needs something to live for! I examined the situation a little bit . What was the situation you ask? On Monday I thought I was talking to prince through texting but I wasent. It may seem like no big deal to you but it was to me. It takes a lot of me to open up to someone and be a hundred percent real. I was being brave and just going for it trying to see if we could keep a conversation going. And "we" did. But later on I found out it wasent even him.

For starters I knew something was diffrent because the normal prince just tells me his sisters gone and ignores my little small talk attempts. The normal prince is meaner. But I though hey, maybe today's my lucky day. So we kept texting for maybe like 30 minutes. We talked about nothing and something. I made a fool of myself and was happy about it for 5 days. It kind of made me realize that maybe I don't know prince as well as I thought. The true test was when I asked him about this album and he replied accordingly; or his brother did. I don't really know how to read princes brother in all this. There's a high percent that he was texting me as a big joke so he can laugh his butt off at the stupid things I said. That's probaly what happened. The second small percent object is that he was just bored and needed to entertain himself . Option four, it was a plot between him and his brother (prince) to stomp on my heart so I would comity suicide and they can pretend I never exsisted. Any other ideas?

So what have I learned from this? Rule one: never ever ever trust texting; learn from me. Rule two: bad things happen to good people and there's nothing you can do about it. Rule three: maybe I believe in this prince idea to much and the reality is it just wasn't meant to be. Rule four: the saying every cloud has a silver lining is false because I don't know what's good about this. That's basically it for this as a learning expirence but now I'm never texting him again. That was it and it's over. I can't go threw that emotional whirlpool. I also kind of learned that I let him have a big chunk of my heart that he didn't really earn yet. So i'm gonna do my best to get that back. I' ll keep you updated readers! Bye

song of the day: true colors-glee

...

Dear readers,
I hope the last blog didnt worry you. I was just angry and sad and hurt and blogging was the best way to get it out. I'm watching a romantic comady as we speak which should lift my spirits and tommorow I will go out for a little retail therapy, i'm thinking shoes. A good pair of shoes will make me forget it ever happened.