"Its amazing how you knock me off my feet, Every time you come around me I get weak..Nobody ever make me feel this way, heeeyyy" - I Wanna Know. Joe

Hi readers!
Those lyrics to the song you just saw on there are from one of my all time favorite songs ever. I love that song so much that I am listening to it right now for the 50 millionth time. Its a song that touches my heart. Is that weird? Music touches me in an unexplainable way. To be honest with y'all I feel more when I listen to other peoples music then when I'm making music myself. Its really werid. Some lyrics I can just relate too and some artists make you feel their passion. Joe can do that, Really well. If you dont know the song then your missing out on half your life. Its really good. I want to write lyrics like that. And I'm thinking part of the reason I cant write that kind of music is i've never been loved. In the romantic sense I mean. I mean my family and friends love me but its not the same. When someone loves me with that chuck and blair passion i'm almost positive my music will improve. Because the things I'm writing about will have meaning. Some of the songs I write do have meaning, those turn out to be the best.

I have reached a point in my life that is so weird. And I have a feeling that millions of people are feeling the same thing this very moment. Its almost undescribable. Its the feeling a person gets when they cant stop thinking about smeone. When the highlight of their day is when he changes his profile picture. When a person looks forward to a time where they can just breathe the same air as that person. Thats all it takes for them to feel complete. What is that? Dont tell me its a crush. I feel like its more then that. Giving it that label is a joke if you knew what I was feeling. But it isen't love either, because to feel true love you have to be getting it back. I'm not getting anything out of it. Im so confused I wish someone would just give me all the answers. Yes readers this is when you are given the oppurtunity to solve my problems. If you have the answers throw am at me. I'll accept them with open arms.

Ok so back to a less serious subject the two shows that i'm love with both had extremly good episodes this week. I'm going to start with Gossip Girl because reality is, that was waay better then Glee this week! Last episode my favorite couple of all time, Chuck and Blair broke up. They were the couple I Wanted to get together from day one and they had a love for each other that was unbelivable. She would do anything for him. As would he. But thats the reason they broke up. She said that she loves him too much, and she dosen't like the person she is with him. The episode ended with chuck going off to bed with a russian woman! He tried this whole episode to prove he loves her, but she just wouldent have it. And the way its looking the writers are trying to push Blair and Dan together which is unacceptable because Blair is meant to be with chuck. When hes not with Blair he gets into trouble. Its awful. Last time he almost jumped off a building. If the writers care about me at all they will put chuck and blair back together.

Glee also had a not so great night. I'm going to wait to blog about it though just in case some of you missed the new episode last night. but GLEE is back. The song of the day happens to be one of theirs.

Song of the day: Hello - originally written by lional richie but sang by Lea Michelle and the Guy who plays jesse last night

quote of the day: I love you. Saying it was hard, but I did and I've never looked back - Chuck Bass

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle, life is a maze and love it a riddle

Hello everyone!

How are you all doing? I'm doing ok. Yesturday night I had a choir rehersal for contest on thursday. It went really good. It felt amazing to be part of a womans choir that good. It wasen't just my regular class but all the women in the choir program singing together and if you haven't been to a freestate concert that is a lot of women. We are singing nigra soom (meaning I am black in italian), and She weeps over rahoon which is an erik whiticar peice. I had never heard of erik whitickar before this but choir nerds are obsessed with him. He has one of a kind music. The song we are singing is almost creepy. Theres this part where the altos just start whispiring. It will definatly giving you chills.

On to a less serious subject, I read a line in a book that was seriously awesome! Ok so she said something unimportant around it but what she said was "that would be one of the 6 things I could say if I was a doll". It really got me to thinking what would I say if I was a doll!! I dont think i'm one of those people that repeat things. If i'm in long conversations i've caught on to the fact that I saw "you know what I mean" a lot. But other then that I dont really have a phrase that I say that much. It also got me thinking what my doll would look like. For starters it would be the first plus size barbie in the history of the world..not nesessarily a good thing. But hair would be so cute! And if I had to pick an outfit to wear for it it would be this flowerly blouse I got from forever 21 with dark blue skinny jeans. I would also want to wear the black shoes with a gold bow on them that I got from forever 21. In the doll world mariam carries around a louis vuitton. And I would want matching jewlary. I also would be a non- cheap doll which means I would come with more then one outfit. Long story short someone needs to make a doll out of me. I think you know who my ken doll would be... What would you in a doll world be like?

So on a more serious subject you know how latley before peeple buy something or get a new car they look on the online reviews. Well I was just thinking, if I owned a buisness it would be so easy to log in with diffrent names speaking about how great my little cafe or whatever is. Not to meantion you would give your friends free products to discuss how great it is as well right? I'm a little shakey when it comes to trusting some of that online buisness.

Guess what? My life is in a pattern. It seems like I cant get out of the same part of the maze, hence the title of the day. It seems like on certain aspects of my life I break through the wall (hard as it is, well for me since I have a brave-o-meter of 0) and then I glance at the other side of the maze. I see the finish line, and then I get pushed back where I came from. Actually I think being pushed back might be better, instead I get ignored. And its not really a good feeling when you see how good things could be, and then you go back to the old ways. Am I making any sense? Probabably not.

I hit a breakthrough with my piano playing! No one knows the secret but I totally figured out what can get me with that passion. You know what it is? I imagined two scenes while I was playing and it made me play with unimaginable passion. They weren't dirty seens but maybe they were a glimpse at the future. I caught one glimpse of me in a wedding dress all dressed up and at first there were a ton of people watching me and the groom dancing. And then suddenly everyone dissapeared around us as the song became more passionate and it was just us. It was so wonderful. And I didnt even realize my playing change till I got up and people around me were like starring at how good I was and my teacher goes "why cant you play like that all the time". And I thought to myself, now I know how to play like that." I just have to get the same happy at heart vision in my head.

Thats all for now readers. Have a quality day!

song of the day: The show - Lenka

quote of the day: Love is a game that two can play and both win.

Piano

"I'm feelin like a star, you cant stop my shine. I'm lovin cloud nine my heads in the sky :)"

Hola Chicas and Chikos. Ya'll doing good? Have you ever heard someone speak spanish with an southern accent? I have its really funny but staying on topic did you guys watch the video I posted yesturday? I hope you enjoyed it. As we speak i'm trying to think of ideas for a video blog, because I think that would be cool if every once in awhile I like personally talked to you all. I'll come up with an idea then do it for my readers...How did my day look like? Well last night I couldent get to bed, I was just really happy... Is that weird? When i'm in a really good mood I just cant really stop and just sleep. So anyways I tossed and turned untill I finally fell asleep. Why was I in a good mood? Dont you wish you could know! I'm going to leave you guys hanging on this one because I almost lost all my secrets and I need some more to be the one and only Mariam Dorathy Ann Alban Ali. Thats my baptism name for those of you who care. Technacally I'm Mariam Dorathy Ann Alban Ali the second. My grandma has the exact same name. My parenst were feeling REALLY creative. Cant you tell? I like my name ok. I'm on and off about the dorathy part. But for now I like it. Thats not my leagal name for the record.

Anyways now to the topic of the day that I was really excited to talk about! And for the record I came up with this one on my own. I didn't even have to be inspired by the tyra show! Look everyone, little miss M. dorathy ann is getting creative :) Ok so the topic is something you've all heard about. Or at least seen in a movie because the whole world has seen the parent trap. That was a little hint there. Ok so today what I want to talk about are the people who runnaway from their men just to see if he'll chase after them. What do you guys think of that? (Notice i'm trying to be more interactive?). I personally think that its understandable but a not so good idea. Because its really hard for a person to realize your trying to get close to them when your running away from them.

The feeling of being chased after is fantastic though. Wheather it be a secret admire or your true love chasing you have way across the country to prove he wants you. Thats something everyone wants. To feel wanted. To feel that someone wants/needs them in their lives. Even I feel that way sometimes... But I have never ran away from someone close to be just to see if they love me enough to chase after me you know? If any of you girlies or guyies (aka manly men that read the blog) are thinking about giving it a try, I would suggest you dont. How about you just stop texting them from awhile and see if they'll text you. You'll get that same rush only in a safter way to help you maintain a decent relationship. Just call me the love guru :)

So I this is just something I'm wondering and feeling aloud. Can you feel the diffrences in my writing depending on my emotion or is that just another secret I get to keep??

song of the day: OMG - Usher ft. Will.I.am

quote of the day: For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. - Judy Garland (I'm loving this quote)

thing to never ever do: Today in my computer applications class and I was sitting next to the two biggest jerks on the whole planet. I really really hate it when people tease or mimic mentally challenged people. Its cruel. Becuase those people cant help it and need the most friends and love out of us all. Anyways the two dummies sitting next o me were mimiking his voice and the way he has some things. I thought to myself god bless that poor boy and knock some sense into these ones. Because soul and heart wise taht mentally challenged child is 50 million miles ahead then tweedle dumb and dumber will ever be. Promise me something. dont ever be them. Thank you :)

April 11th

Hey Luvers and Friends! guess what? About 3 hours ago I got inspired. What inspired me you ask? It was the shooting star falling over my house. No I'm just kidding. I wish it was something that exciting. What inspired me was 60 minutes. Why was I watching 60 minutes when i'm under 25. Well its my daddys favorite show and hes back in town for a week so we were watching it together. Both stories that they were covering today was really intresting. No it wasent about kendra or the kardashians it was like life story intresting. The first guy was born into a matvia family. Think about it? Out of all the nice familys out there this poor innocent guy got concieved by mr. and mrs. mafia.

Nothing against the mafia. I really respect and fear you. So dont consider this blog stepping out of line if you are in the mafia. Because its not. I bow down to you supream mafia guy. Anyways back to the story. This guy and his father basically ruled the mafia. And then he decides that hes done and he wants to be a just person. He was married with children at this point. And the mafia people were like yeah watever step down, more money for us. Because money is the whole point of the mafia. But anyways the mafia guy makes a deal with society to go to jail for awhile then come back up and be considered a good person again. While he was in jail he met with his childrens teachers every friday. The question I asked myself was why wasent he meeting with his children that often? Anyways, what was fishy about the story is that this guy owns acres of land in this beautiful mansion and hes living off "realistate money". Neither him or his wife work and they live a VERY comfortable lifestyle. hmmm, mafia money? I think not haha.

Ok the last story was about this new species discovered in africa. A 9 year old boy discovered the skeleton of a 9 year old boy who lived 1.9 million years ago! Can you believe that it was even possible there were people and a world that long ago? Its hard for me to imagine. But the skeleton of the boy was like nothing ever seen before. It wasen't a human skeleton, or a monkey skeleton, OR one of those human monkey skeleton. Its its own brand of human. The cave it was dug up in was the same cave that they found ANOTHER skeleton like that. They assume it was its moms. But it was a really interesting story. Even though I dont really believe this carbon dating stuff that much. So what if there is a certain amount of rock layer. It dosen't necessarily hold the key to life you know. Anyways its intresting and you all can look it up for more info.

song of the day: Ridin Solo - Jason Derulo

tv show you should watch right now: Pretty wild. You guys should watch it and tell me what happens I got to go to sleep. School is awaiting me tommorow

Get to know me

I'm really excited about adding this to my blog! Now I'm hoping that at least once a week i'll get to write some things about me from the past. I want to tell you, you meaning the world, my story. For the longest time my grandma and my dad have been pressuring me to write a book. It would start with my grandmas life, transistion into my dads, then end with my life. I always thought that I didnt really have a story to tell but yesturday when I was writing details for mariam and amir in love (I dont know what the story is really called yet) I recalled a lot of things that happened in the past that are worth telling. So I will start my story at the very begining....

I was born on December 16th, 1994 at 9:30 pm! I was born in maryland to the parents known as Alban Abdalla and Nativity Raymond. The story that I know of about the day I was born was that my parents were watching t.v. in my room when my mother went into labor. It wasen't that big of a suprise but the doctor had said that I would arrive on the 17th. But I came a day early! Ofcourse I dont personally remember any of this but thats how I came to be on this earth.

The first memory of my own is when I was less then a year old. I was in the baby tub that was in the real tub and my mom was cleaning me. I had hair then already and it was a little curly afro. When I go back to the memory I realize how pretty it looked. I love my hair when its wet! But my mom had me wrapped up in this baby towel that you could kind of wear because it had like a little hood that helped with drying my head. My mom is holding me on her right side and she wipes off the window. She says look Mariam, dont you see yourself? Ofcourse I dont respond because I couldent talk but that was the moment I realized that the person looking back at me in that mirror was me. The memory ends there.

After that I dont really have any memories untill my first day of day care where I was 2 or 3. I wasen't in serious shock because the day care I was being sent too was Charles and his wifes. And they were friends of my parents so I had gone there all the time. I Remember all the kids got in a line and charles is wife made us all say " hello buba" and I was confused because I knew him as uncle charles. But then I remember walking around the house and then getting to the room where they had a ton of colored blocks. I was so in awe I wanted to start palying right away but I Was really shy so I just followed along on the little tour.

Thats all for today but there will be more of mariams story soon. Heres some pictures to help you picture me at that age.

PLEASE WATCH

Hey readers! I just posted my brand new song Dont be afriad on youtube. Heres the link.... I hope you like it and I made an actual video for it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtlKVTMf4Sw ps. the lyrics are below if you want to sing along.

4/11/10

Hello Readers! How are you all today? Its really nice outside. Im in a skirt! Its such nice spring weather I felt like looking cute today :) You know everyone should dress up every once in awhile it makes a home girl feel good. You agree? So yesturday something really great happened. Around ten I decided I would rather open up my song writing book then play sims so I did, and wrote a song that I am really proud of. So proud of that I made a video. I used windows movie maker and it actually turned out pretty good. No its not as crappy as the last video I turned I put on there. I would love some feedback from you and if any of you could come out with some kind of background too it like piano, guitar, or just some beats I would love that. I'm going to post in on youtube then put the link on here when its finished. Most of it its done as we speak, but I still need to add some cool slide transitions. I would really appriciate feed back on it!

Ok so there is something I think really needs to be said. Once I teach you this lesson I think your life and the life of others might be a lot better. You know what words really bug me "no offense but...". No we're all guilty of using it because sometimes you want to tell someone something to help them but you think just by saying no offense it dosent hurt. Newsflash! It still does hurt. Whether you apolagize or not and the words no offense just mean that your trying to get on their good side before your saying that somethings wrong with them. Am I wrong? Nope Im almost positive that i'm right. So heres my words of wisdom to you. Next time you think your about to say those words first think if it will really personally hurt the person. And if that answer to that question is yes then hold your comment in. But when your about to say those words use it as a trigger to control the mean and unessecary comment your about to say next. The world will be a better place if you do. I promise.

Speaking of the world being a better place, on the last blog I was a little down. And its as if the paster knew I was starting to doubt the world the pastor decides to talk about how loosing hope in the world is a step towards loosing your faith. Even when it feels like something being better is impossible you have to always hold on to your faith. Maybe the world is going through a rough spot that will soon be fixed.

I have a serious problem. I have chemistry homeworka and I forgot my book at school again! I can heart my grade being flushed down the toilet as we speak. :(

song of the day: Dont be afraid (dont know it? Click on the youtube link below0

quote of the day: The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.