Fat Girls Wear Crop Tops Too : "We Ain't Picture Perfect, but We're Worth The Picture Still"

This past month I had the pleasure of spending 10 days in our nations beautiful capitol. I learned many things and made many realizations. The greatest realization didn't come from the Jefferson Memorial or hours spent admiring the beauty of the Smithsonian. It came on the streets of D.C. from the true natives. You ready for this? It's huge (no pun intended). Fat girls wear crop tops too. I know. Your mind is blown. Mine sure was. I live in a small Kansas town, and I can assure you that crop top wearing here is reserved for the young and dazzling. We all know the girl. Racially ambiguous, fat free with a slutty move or two. There aren't many bigger girls here in general. The ones that are hear don't make appearances outside or in club settings quite as much as the "bow down b-words" girl, and when they do it sure as hell isn't in a crop top. So what's the big deal? D.C. is an area where everyone feels confident and accepted. There are a wide variety of cultures and ethnic groups there. There also are a wide variety of shapes and sizes. Each and everyone walks with the confidence of the prettiest girl in the room. Confidence isn't rare in D.C. It's pouring out of every single person there, and that's a beautiful thing. I finally realized that confidence really is the missing link.

When you love yourself, other people find something in you to love as well. I met many friends of my cousin's, but the happiest by far was just another bigger girl in a crop top. She's in a relationship with a mature older man. He's very settled with a great career and has a lot of love to give. She's living the dream. Being wisked away to beaches for the day and being constantly pampered. It's cute. Yes, I realize there's more to relationships then random acts of affection, but she has it pretty good for a woman of our generation. He has a seven year old daughter, but let's overlook that and focus on the beaches. She got a pretty happy ending and that's more than enough for most of us.

I had a great conversation about love and relationships with one of my best friends yesterday. She has plans for an arranged marriage. I used to feel bad for her. She doesn't get an opportunity to fall in love the Disney princess way. Girl meets boy, and he changes her whole world. Seeing how stress free she was changed my view on the whole thing. She has no worries. I on the other hand have worries for days. Am I not fighting hard enough for the ones I feel that spark for? Should I accept the ones I don't feel anything for, because the "spark" isn't real? Most importantly, should I wear a crop top? The truth is meeting people is hard. Especially in a generation full of apps like tinder, and people who don't value love. People are perfectly content being the side chick or one of many someone talks to. Quite honestly my faith in the fairytale institution is shakier than ever. I don't know the answer to any of those questions now. I have a lot of prayer and contemplation to do. But as always, i'll keep you updated.

Song of the day: Beautiful by Musiq Soulchild

Quote of the day: "Beauty is about enhancing what you have. Let yourself shine through" - Janelle Monae