"Miss Independent, oooh the way you shine. Miss Independent"

Hello world.
It's been awhile since i've blogged for a more personal side. You know when you take long breaks in between blogs there's just so much thats happened that you don't really know where to start. The big thing in my life that takes up most of my time now is College. For those of you who didn't know, I'm a freshman this year. I'm not having the traditional college experience. I made the decision to live at home and drive to campus for classes. One of the main influences that led me to this decision was money and wanting to graduate free of loans (yes, it's possible!). I always wanted to be there for my family and the friends that are like family to me. Life is so short; I want to spend as much time with the ones I love the most as possible you know? I guess part of African culture is Family Over Everything. I would easily sacrifice things that are just for fun (partying and such) to be helpful to my parents, my brother, aunts, cousins. Younger girls need someone to look up to more then ever. If you have little sisters or cousins, you should definitely be an open, safe person for them to talk to (as long as you feel you're on the right track yourself. Don't lead them astray).

Speaking about people going astray, it's amazing how much trouble people can get into within the first couple days of the school year. In America people have had this idea that college is the time for experimenting. I see where the idea sparks from. You can't really go off doing things that could possibly have negative results when you're married with five children. College is a time where you're independent, but don't have anyone depending on you. It's one of the best times to go off and kind of find the person you want to be. All this in mind, statistics show that many people go off track this first year. My personal thinking is that I don't need to try anything that I know is bad or has negative consequences. My brother put his finger on the stove and got burned. Chances are if I do the same thing, the result won't be different. The stove will still be hot, and my finger will still be burned. I don't think you need to purposefully make mistakes to learn from them. You can take what has happened to other people and make an example of it.

A lot of these have consequences too big to bear. As far as drugs go there are many reasons their illegal. I'm not just talking the hard core stuff  like heroin, but even taking a tylenal has its consequences on your body. I know that I get one body to use for the rest of my life. I have to desire to insert anything unclean that could cause me harm in any shape or form. A glass of red wine a day is healthy. Getting wasted multiple times is not, because the more you do it the more your body suffers the consequences. I never had overbearing parents that tried to make me avoid everything the plague, so maybe that why i'm not so in awe and crazy for  drinks and drugs like most people my age. They're a part of life, and if you want to do those things I'm not judging you. It's your life to live. But I personally don't see the point in drinking if i'm using the money daddy put on my credit card to buy the beer or whatever. If I don't have my own, then i'm obviously not at the point in life where I should be doing those things. It's like a man asking his mother for a ride to the strip club. "Pick me up at 10? " Does that sound right to you? As far as i'm concerned, you can't be "independent" if you need to use someone elses money to be that way. Just food for thought.

song of the day: Miss Independent - Neyo

Quote of the day:  True individual freedom cannot exist without economic security and independence. People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made. 

"I've been Caifornia wishing on these stars for your heart..for me my california king"

Chris Brown and Rihanna were the it couple of 2009. Anyone who's into following these huge celebrity productions remembers that day. It was the Grammy's and both Rihanna and Chris were set to perform. It was a big year as far as music goes for them. Just a couple hits like Umbrella and With you...No big deal. Anyways, I continue to follow their dramatic saga, and this month was filled with events. Oprah interviewed RiRi from her home town in Barbados. I was shocked at how beautiful the city was. For some reason, I always considered it kind of third world in my mind. It wasn't like that at all. The people were very alive, and the palm trees were definitely worth the long plane ride it would take to get over there. Rihanna spoke of a lot of emotional topics including how she got started, loosing her Gran Gran Dolly, getting used to fame, and...the incident.

As far as the incident goes, I was really surprised to hear Rihanna say that the whole time she was worrying about him. In my opinion, this does not make Rihanna a weak woman or anti-feminist. The man she loved was obviously going through something terrible if he was going to lash out in such a monsterous, unresponsible way. She wanted him to get help and get to the bottom of his problems. Or as some would put it, sort out all his demons. She also confessed that she still loved him, and that he would always be in her heart. She talked about why it didn't work out with some of those guys she dated. She talked about working past anger and realizing that no matter how much she lashed out in her music or sense of fashion; she can't change what happened. The revelations she made on the show were really eye opening about the whole situation of domestic abuse.

Rihanna got a lot of negative back lash from people for still being in love with Chris. A lot of people told her they thought she needed help and blah blah blah. Here's my view. Domestic abuse is never okay. Rihanna absolutely did the right (extremely brave thing considering how big of a celebrity she is)by turning Chris in to the cops and making him suffer the consequences of his actions. If you believe in the American system, after suffering the consequences Chris should be considered a changed man. He should get a fresh start, because after the anger managment, therapy, and volunteer work he should realize that what he did was wrong. Do we have a way of knowing that he really did? No. But I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Rihanna is not the same little girl he hit three years ago. She's tougher now and would never let something like that happen again. That being said, if she wants to give him another chance and follow her heart you won't hear me saying negative things about it. Maybe he really has changed.

The only evidence I have that he didn't is his new sorry excuse for a tattoo. I like many other people saw the similarities between his tattoo and the picture that was released to the public of Rihanna's abused face. He claims that it's a mexican day of the dead skull. It's all up for your judgment.

Will she go through with the second chance? Chris is currently in an open relationship with Karrueche Tran according to sources. That didn't stop him from kissing Rihanna a couple weeks ago at the VMAs. A picture says a thousand words. 

"It's a love story; Baby just say: Yes."

Close your eyes. Imagine the significant other you want to be with the rest of your life. What do they look like? They're cute aren't they? I'm almost one hundred percent positive we're not thinking of the same person. It's not even the same person for me anymore. Sometimes my "dream guy" is tough with a killer smile like Trey Songz; sometimes he's a soft, guitar playing cutie like Hunter Hayes; and other times he's the African Singer Ali Kiba. It really just depends on the day. Different people have different ideas on what's attractive. It's only natural right? One of my best friends is only into asians, and my cousin only likes black guys. I personally don't think there's anything racist about that. Does it limit your options? Yes. But can you help who you're attracted to? No. I don't think you can anyways. This dilemma has been playing through my mind for awhile, and I figured I would blog about it. Blogging helps me sort out my thoughts and emotions.

So lets say you met a guy that you have really amazing conversations with. He makes you laugh, successful, religious (whatever the whole package is for you) , but you don't feel that spark. By spark I mean the little thing where your heart skips a beat when you see them coming your way. Or how you get butterflies before a date. The part that makes new love exciting. You're just not...attracted to them. I'm a big believer in the idea that looks aren't everything, but I don't mean excluding someone because of how they look. I just mean not feeling attracted to them. Not because they're ugly or have bad features, because they just don't do it for you. Am I a terrible person for thinking this way? Can you really help who you're attracted to? Is it female intuition telling you that this isn't the one who completes your love story? Are love stories even real anymore when you're an African American women with the 45% chance of marriage statistic hanging over your head?

These are the thoughts that run through my mind, and these are the answers i've currently concluded on. I am not a terrible person, because I think there's a biological aspect in attraction. If you're dwelling on the fact you're not attracted to the person anyways, then there's probably some other things that are making you try to second guess yourself in any way possible. Can you help who you're attracted to? No. I truly believe it's a physical thing. Maybe the media and modern world give us unrealistic expectations as far as this whole subject goes, but at the end of the day everyone is attracted to someone different for a reason. Its unexplainable. Are love stories real? I want to quote one of my favorite celebrity tweet sessions of all time : Taylor swift & Selena Gomez "Real Love Still Happens Sometimes. It's not just something we make up when we're nine. I have to believe that. You do too". Weather they're real or not we have to believe, because when we lose fate what do we have left?

Song of the day: Love Story - Taylor Swift (this is old so i'll give you a new one as well). Wanted by Hunter Hayes

Twitter words of wisdom: "Real Love Still Happens Sometimes. It's not just something we make up when we're nine. I have to believe that. You do too" - Taylor Alison Swift